zeroed-some/localroast / af92e22

+// src/data/roastDatabase.js - BRUTAL EDITION (MEGA EXPANDED WITH NEW LOCATIONS)

+  // MAINE

+  maine: {

+    generic: [

+      "Maine? Where the lobsters have more personality than the people.",

+      "From Maine? How's living in a state that's just Canada's forgotten basement?",

+      "Maine: Where everyone's either a fisherman or pretending to be Stephen King.",

+      "Oh, Maine? The state where winter lasts 11 months and the other month is mud season.",

+      "Maine: Where 'tourist season' means overcharging for seafood and flannel.",

+      "From Maine? Let me guess, you pronounce 'car' like 'cah' but ironically.",

+      "Maine: The only state where wearing Bean boots to a wedding is considered formal.",

+      "Where 'culture' means arguing about which lobster shack is authentic.",

+      "Maine: New Hampshire's more expensive, less relevant sibling.",

+      "From Maine? Your state's biggest achievement is Stephen King novels that nobody finishes."

+    ],

+    portland: [

+      "Portland, Maine? The city trying so hard to be Portland, Oregon but with worse weather.",

+      "From Portland, Maine? How's that craft brewery scene working with a population of 12?",

+      "Portland: Where every restaurant is 'farm to table' because there's literally nothing else.",

+      "Oh, Portland? The city where hipsters go to feel rustic.",

+      "Portland: Where everyone's a foodie but the food is just expensive lobster rolls.",

+      "From Portland? You definitely have strong opinions about which donut shop is better.",

+      "Portland: The only city where gentrification means adding a Starbucks.",

+      "Where 'artisanal' means overpriced and 'local' means your cousin made it.",

+      "Portland: Seattle's less successful, more pretentious cousin.",

+      "From Portland, Maine? Your city peaked when it was featured in a food magazine once."

+    ]

+  },

+

+  // VERMONT

+  vermont: {

+    generic: [

+      "Vermont? Where everyone's a socialist with a trust fund.",

+      "From Vermont? How's that maple syrup economy working out?",

+      "Vermont: Where the cows outnumber the people and have better healthcare.",

+      "Oh, Vermont? The state that's just New Hampshire with more guilt about being white.",

+      "Vermont: Where Bernie Sanders is your most normal resident.",

+      "From Vermont? Let me guess, you make your own kombucha and judge people who don't.",

+      "Vermont: The only state where being carbon neutral is a personality trait.",

+      "Where everyone drives a Subaru to their organic farm job.",

+      "Vermont: Proof that you can be liberal and boring at the same time.",

+      "From Vermont? Your state's biggest export is sanctimonious college students."

+    ],

+    burlington: [

+      "Burlington? The city where every college kid thinks they discovered socialism.",

+      "From Burlington? How's that progressive paradise with no diversity working out?",

+      "Burlington: Where everyone's woke but the city still sleeps at 9 PM.",

+      "Oh, Burlington? The city that's just a college town with delusions of importance.",

+      "Burlington: Where craft beer costs more than your rent in other states.",

+      "From Burlington? You definitely have a coexist sticker and zero self-awareness.",

+      "Burlington: The only city where being sustainable means you can't afford not to be.",

+      "Where 'culture' means farmer's markets and pretentious coffee shops.",

+      "Burlington: Portland's less cool, more pretentious cousin who went to liberal arts school.",

+      "From Burlington? Your city's idea of diversity is having both IPA and stout on tap."

+    ]

+  },

+

+    ],

+    eugene: [

+      "Eugene? Portland's hippie cousin who never left the 70s.",

+      "From Eugene? How's that college town eternal adolescence working out?",

+      "Eugene: Where everyone's either a student or a 40-year-old student.",

+      "Oh, Eugene? The city where 'Ducks' is both the team and the sound of opportunity leaving.",

+      "Eugene: Where tie-dye is formal wear and showering is optional.",

+      "From Eugene? You definitely have a drum circle story nobody wants to hear.",

+      "Eugene: The only city where granola isn't just breakfast, it's a lifestyle.",

+      "Where 'culture' means outdoor concerts you can smell from three miles away.",

+      "Eugene: Salem's more stoned, less functional sibling.",

+      "From Eugene? Your city's biggest achievement is making Portland look corporate."

+  // SOUTHERN STATES

+  // SOUTH CAROLINA

+  southcarolina: {

+    generic: [

+      "South Carolina? Where the history is ugly and the humidity is uglier.",

+      "From South Carolina? How's living in Georgia's more racist little brother?",

+      "South Carolina: Where the palmetto trees have more backbone than the politicians.",

+      "Oh, South Carolina? The state that started the Civil War and never got over losing it.",

+      "South Carolina: Where 'heritage' is code for 'we're still mad about 1865'.",

+      "From South Carolina? Let me guess, you think the Civil War was about 'states' rights'.",

+      "South Carolina: The only state where coastal flooding is karma.",

+      "Where everyone's either military or wishes they were Confederate military.",

+      "South Carolina: North Carolina's embarrassing sibling who peaked in the 1850s.",

+      "From South Carolina? Your state's biggest export is disappointment and sweet tea."

+    ],

+    charleston: [

+      "Charleston? The city where plantation tours are the main economy.",

+      "From Charleston? How's that antebellum charm covering up centuries of horror?",

+      "Charleston: Where Southern hospitality means smiling while overcharging tourists.",

+      "Oh, Charleston? The city that's basically Williamsburg for people who miss slavery.",

+      "Charleston: Where every house has a ghost and a guilty conscience.",

+      "From Charleston? You definitely give horse carriage tours and hate yourself for it.",

+      "Charleston: The only city where 'historic' means 'built on suffering'.",

+      "Where 'culture' means mint juleps and willful ignorance.",

+      "Charleston: Savannah's more pretentious cousin with worse food.",

+      "From Charleston? Your city's idea of progress is admitting slavery was 'problematic'."

+    ]

+  },

+

+  // NORTH CAROLINA

+  northcarolina: {

+    generic: [

+      "North Carolina? Where the barbecue is decent but the politics are rotten.",

+      "From North Carolina? How's living in a state that can't decide if it's the South or not?",

+      "North Carolina: Where Research Triangle can't research how to fix the rest of the state.",

+      "Oh, North Carolina? The state where basketball matters more than education funding.",

+      "North Carolina: Where everyone argues about vinegar vs. tomato-based BBQ like it's theology.",

+      "From North Carolina? Let me guess, you have strong opinions about which Carolina is better.",

+      "North Carolina: The only state where college sports are more important than voting rights.",

+      "Where 'culture' means arguing about Duke vs. UNC while ignoring actual problems.",

+      "North Carolina: Virginia's less sophisticated cousin with more NASCAR.",

+      "From North Carolina? Your state's biggest achievement is convincing people it's not South Carolina."

+    ],

+    charlotte: [

+      "Charlotte? The city trying to be Atlanta but with less personality.",

+      "From Charlotte? How's that banking hub life treating your soul?",

+      "Charlotte: Where everyone works in finance and dies a little inside daily.",

+      "Oh, Charlotte? The city that's just a giant bank with suburbs attached.",

+      "Charlotte: Where culture means which country club you can't afford.",

+      "From Charlotte? You definitely drive a luxury car you're upside down on.",

+      "Charlotte: The only city where 'diverse' means different types of bankers.",

+      "Where 'nightlife' means networking events with overpriced drinks.",

+      "Charlotte: Atlanta's boring cousin who went into finance instead of music.",

+      "From Charlotte? Your city's idea of excitement is a new strip mall with a Whole Foods."

+    ],

+    raleigh: [

+      "Raleigh? The city that exists solely for government jobs and college basketball.",

+      "From Raleigh? How's that Research Triangle working with all the brain drain?",

+      "Raleigh: Where everyone's either a student, a bureaucrat, or leaving.",

+      "Oh, Raleigh? The city that's just Durham's more boring sibling.",

+      "Raleigh: Where 'culture' means which college team you root for.",

+      "From Raleigh? You definitely have a state government job you hate.",

+      "Raleigh: The only city where the most exciting thing is legislative session.",

+      "Where 'diversity' means having both NC State and UNC fans.",

+      "Raleigh: Charlotte's less successful, more bureaucratic twin.",

+      "From Raleigh? Your city's biggest achievement is being the capital of mediocrity."

+    ]

+  },

+

+  // WESTERN STATES

+  // MONTANA

+  montana: {

+    generic: [

+      "Montana? Where the sky is big and the job opportunities are small.",

+      "From Montana? How's living in America's most expensive nature preserve?",

+      "Montana: Where everyone's a rancher but nobody can afford land.",

+      "Oh, Montana? The state where winter is 9 months and road construction is the other 3.",

+      "Montana: Where 'big sky' means you can see your unemployment from space.",

+      "From Montana? Let me guess, you know everyone in your county personally.",

+      "Montana: The only state where grizzly bears have better healthcare than residents.",

+      "Where 'nightlife' means the bar stays open until 10 PM.",

+      "Montana: Wyoming's more populated, equally irrelevant sibling.",

+      "From Montana? Your state's biggest export is young people fleeing to anywhere with WiFi."

+    ],

+    missoula: [

+      "Missoula? The city where college kids go to pretend they're outdoorsy.",

+      "From Missoula? How's that university town surrounded by mountains you never hike?",

+      "Missoula: Where everyone's studying something they'll never use professionally.",

+      "Oh, Missoula? The city that's just Bozeman for people who can't afford Bozeman.",

+      "Missoula: Where 'culture' means craft beer and complaining about Californians.",

+      "From Missoula? You definitely own hiking boots you've worn to bars more than trails.",

+      "Missoula: The only city where your barista has a master's degree in environmental science.",

+      "Where 'diverse' means having both Patagonia and REI.",

+      "Missoula: Eugene's less weird, more isolated cousin.",

+      "From Missoula? Your city's idea of excitement is when a new brewery opens."

+    ]

+  },

+

+  // IDAHO

+  idaho: {

+    generic: [

+      "Idaho? Where the potatoes have more personality than the people.",

+      "From Idaho? How's living in a state that's just Utah's less interesting sibling?",

+      "Idaho: Where everyone's either Mormon or hiding from the government.",

+      "Oh, Idaho? The state where Boise is considered cosmopolitan.",

+      "Idaho: Where 'diversity' means different types of white supremacists.",

+      "From Idaho? Let me guess, you've already mentioned potatoes defensively today.",

+      "Idaho: The only state where California refugees think they're pioneering.",

+      "Where 'culture' means arguing about gun rights and potato varieties.",

+      "Idaho: Montana's flatter, more boring cousin.",

+      "From Idaho? Your state's biggest achievement is not being North Dakota."

+    ],

+    boise: [

+      "Boise? The city trying to be Denver but with less altitude and more attitude.",

+      "From Boise? How's that 'hidden gem' status working now that everyone's found it?",

+      "Boise: Where Californians go to pretend they're rugged individualists.",

+      "Oh, Boise? The city that's just Salt Lake City without the Olympics or religion.",

+      "Boise: Where everyone moved for 'quality of life' and brought their traffic with them.",

+      "From Boise? You definitely complain about newcomers while being one yourself.",

+      "Boise: The only city where a Whole Foods opening is front-page news.",

+      "Where 'outdoor lifestyle' means driving your Subaru to a trailhead once a month.",

+      "Boise: Spokane's more successful, equally forgettable cousin.",

+      "From Boise? Your city's biggest achievement is being mentioned in a Netflix show once."

+    ]

+  },

+

+  // INTERNATIONAL LOCATIONS - MORE ADDITIONS

+  russia: {

+    generic: [

+      "Russia? Where vodka is a food group and democracy is a four-letter word.",

+      "From Russia? How's that kleptocracy disguised as a country working out?",

+      "Russia: Where the winters are cold but the politics are colder.",

+      "Oh, Russia? The country that's just a gas station with nuclear weapons.",

+      "Russia: Where everyone's either an oligarch or wondering where their oligarch went.",

+      "From Russia? Let me guess, you're tired of explaining you're not all spies.",

+      "Russia: The only country where poisoning is a legitimate political strategy.",

+      "Where 'opposition' means you're about to take a really long vacation.",

+      "Russia: Proof that having lots of land doesn't mean having good ideas.",

+      "From Russia? Your country's biggest export is authoritarianism and YouTube dashcam videos."

+    ],

+    moscow: [

+      "Moscow? Where the Red Square is less red than the balance sheets.",

+      "From Moscow? How's that oligarch lifestyle working for the 99.9% who aren't oligarchs?",

+      "Moscow: Where every building is either ancient or money laundering.",

+      "Oh, Moscow? The city where journalists go to mysteriously fall out of windows.",

+      "Moscow: Where everyone's rich on paper but poor in reality.",

+      "From Moscow? You definitely know someone who 'disappeared' for having opinions.",

+      "Moscow: The only city where luxury brands cost more than most countries' GDP.",

+      "Where 'culture' means ballet and state-sponsored everything else.",

+      "Moscow: Washington DC's more corrupt, less democratic cousin.",

+      "From Moscow? Your city's biggest achievement is making other capitals look honest."

+    ]

+  },

+

+  italy: {

+    generic: [

+      "Italy? Where the food is incredible but the government changes faster than pasta water boils.",

+      "From Italy? How's living in a country that's basically a museum with traffic problems?",

+      "Italy: Where la dolce vita meets economic stagnation.",

+      "Oh, Italy? The country where mama's boys run the economy into the ground.",

+      "Italy: Where everyone's an expert on everything except running a functional government.",

+      "From Italy? Let me guess, you still live with your parents at 35.",

+      "Italy: The only country where corruption is seasoned with oregano.",

+      "Where 'efficiency' is a foreign concept but the coffee is perfect.",

+      "Italy: Proof that great food can't solve political incompetence.",

+      "From Italy? Your country's biggest export is tourists and tax evasion."

+    ],

+    rome: [

+      "Rome? Where the ruins are in better shape than the infrastructure.",

+      "From Rome? How's that eternal city working with eternal traffic jams?",

+      "Rome: Where history is everywhere except in the city planning.",

+      "Oh, Rome? The city where tourists outnumber functioning elevators.",

+      "Rome: Where every street is historic and every pothole is legendary.",

+      "From Rome? You definitely make more money from Airbnb than actual work.",

+      "Rome: The only city where 2000-year-old buildings work better than new ones.",

+      "Where 'culture' means overcharging tourists for gelato near the Colosseum.",

+      "Rome: Paris's more ancient, less functional cousin.",

+      "From Rome? Your city's idea of progress is adding contactless payment to tourist traps."

+    ]

+  },

+

+  spain: {

+    generic: [

+      "Spain? Where siestas are mandatory but economic growth is optional.",

+      "From Spain? How's that 25% unemployment rate treating your life goals?",

+      "Spain: Where everyone parties until 4 AM but wonders why nothing gets done.",

+      "Oh, Spain? The country where 'mañana' isn't procrastination, it's policy.",

+      "Spain: Where the sun always shines but the economy never does.",

+      "From Spain? Let me guess, you're either unemployed or a bartender serving sangria to tourists.",

+      "Spain: The only country where lunch starts at dinner time everywhere else.",

+      "Where 'work-life balance' means mostly life, barely work.",

+      "Spain: Italy's party-loving cousin with worse economic planning.",

+      "From Spain? Your country's biggest achievement is making unemployment look fun."

+    ],

+    madrid: [

+      "Madrid? The city where the nightlife is legendary and the job market is mythical.",

+      "From Madrid? How's that capital city life with provincial city salaries?",

+      "Madrid: Where everyone's an artist because actual jobs don't exist.",

+      "Oh, Madrid? The city that parties so hard it forgot to develop an economy.",

+      "Madrid: Where 'culture' means staying out until sunrise because you can't afford rent anyway.",

+      "From Madrid? You definitely live with roommates and call it 'European lifestyle'.",

+      "Madrid: The only capital where being broke is considered bohemian.",

+      "Where 'networking' means buying drinks you can't afford for people who also can't afford them.",

+      "Madrid: Barcelona's less successful, more party-focused sibling.",

+      "From Madrid? Your city's idea of economic development is opening more tapas bars."

+    ]

+  },

+

+  // SOUTH KOREA

+  southkorea: {

+    generic: [

+      "South Korea? Where plastic surgery is more common than job security.",

+      "From South Korea? How's that work-yourself-to-death culture treating your mental health?",

+      "South Korea: Where K-pop is the biggest export but happiness is the rarest import.",

+      "Oh, South Korea? The country where everyone's beautiful but miserable.",

+      "South Korea: Where studying 18 hours a day is considered normal parenting.",

+      "From South Korea? Let me guess, your parents still think you're underachieving.",

+      "South Korea: The only country where gaming professionally is less stressful than regular jobs.",

+      "Where 'success' means burning out by 30 with perfect skin.",

+      "South Korea: Japan's overachieving little brother with more pressure.",

+      "From South Korea? Your country's biggest achievement is making workaholism look trendy."

+    ],

+    seoul: [

+      "Seoul? Where the apartments are smaller than American closets but cost twice as much.",

+      "From Seoul? How's that 10 million person sardine can treating your personal space?",

+      "Seoul: Where everyone's competing to be the most stressed in the most stylish way.",

+      "Oh, Seoul? The city where plastic surgery clinics outnumber coffee shops.",

+      "Seoul: Where 'work-life balance' means working until you die young and pretty.",

+      "From Seoul? You definitely live in a shoebox and call it 'efficient urban living'.",

+      "Seoul: The only city where your phone has better coverage than your mental health insurance.",

+      "Where 'culture' means K-dramas and crippling social anxiety.",

+      "Seoul: Tokyo's more fashionable, equally miserable cousin.",

+      "From Seoul? Your city's idea of relaxation is a 20-hour gaming session."

+    ]

+  },

+