`cc14e81`

louisiana

Authored by mfwolffe <wolffemf@dukes.jmu.edu> 10 months ago

SHA: cc14e8151e1a131ef0d351a75bc416ccd64f687b
Parents: d379013
Tree: 12ff5c4

1 changed file

Status	File	+	-
M	`src/data/roastDatabase.js`	74	0

src/data/roastDatabase.jsmodified

      ],
    },
 +  // LOUISIANA
 +  louisiana: {
 +    generic: [
 +      "Louisiana? Where the corruption is thicker than the gumbo.",
 +      "From Louisiana? How's living in America's wet, hot disaster zone?",
 +      "Louisiana: Where everyone's Catholic until Mardi Gras, then Catholic again for Lent.",
 +      "Oh, Louisiana? The state that's just Mississippi with jazz and alcoholism.",
 +      "Louisiana: Where the politicians are dirtier than the Mississippi River.",
 +      "From Louisiana? Let me guess, you're explaining that New Orleans isn't the whole state.",
 +      "Louisiana: The only state where drive-thru daiquiris are considered reasonable.",
 +      "Where 'infrastructure' sinks faster than the land it's built on.",
 +      "Louisiana: Proof that French colonization was a mistake America inherited.",
 +      "From Louisiana? Your state's biggest export is jazz, oil spills, and FEMA applications.",
 +      "Louisiana: Where every politician's campaign promise is 'I'll steal less than the last guy'.",
 +      "The state where 'sportsman's paradise' means shooting things in a swamp.",
 +      "Louisiana: Where cancer alley is a real place and tourism slogan.",
 +      "From Louisiana? You definitely have a relative who rebuilt their house three times in the same flood zone.",
 +      "Louisiana: Because someone had to make Florida's hurricane response look competent.",
 +    ],
 +    new_orleans: [
 +      "New Orleans? Where the party never stops because reality is too depressing to face.",
 +      "From New Orleans? How's living below sea level with above-average crime?",
 +      "New Orleans: Where tourists come to get drunk and locals get drunk to tolerate tourists.",
 +      "Oh, New Orleans? The city that treats alcoholism like cultural heritage.",
 +      "New Orleans: Where the French Quarter smells like piss and broken dreams.",
 +      "From New Orleans? Let me guess, you work in tourism or wish the tourists would leave.",
 +      "New Orleans: The only city where corruption is jazz and everyone's improvising.",
 +      "Where 'culture' means charging $20 for watered-down hurricanes on Bourbon Street.",
 +      "New Orleans: The Big Easy because nothing works hard, especially the pumps.",
 +      "From New Orleans? Your city's biggest achievement is convincing people that dysfunction is charming.",
 +      "New Orleans: Where every street has potholes deeper than the city's below-sea-level foundation.",
 +      "The city where 'laissez les bons temps rouler' means 'let's ignore our problems with alcohol'.",
 +      "New Orleans: Where gentrification and hurricanes compete to displace locals faster.",
 +      "From New Orleans? You definitely have a love-hate relationship with Mardi Gras.",
 +      "New Orleans: Proof that you can't party away rising sea levels.",
 +    ],
 +    baton_rouge: [
 +      "Baton Rouge? New Orleans' boring cousin with all the corruption but none of the culture.",
 +      "From Baton Rouge? How's being the capital nobody visits unless they have to?",
 +      "Baton Rouge: Where LSU football is more important than functional government.",
 +      "Oh, Baton Rouge? The city that exists because they needed to put the capital somewhere dry-ish.",
 +      "Baton Rouge: Where everyone's either at LSU, in petrochemicals, or in government (same level of toxic).",
 +      "From Baton Rouge? Let me guess, you tell people you're 'near New Orleans'.",
 +      "Baton Rouge: The only capital where tailgating is considered civic engagement.",
 +      "Where 'culture' means whatever happens during football season.",
 +      "Baton Rouge: Proof that being a capital doesn't require being interesting.",
 +      "From Baton Rouge? Your city's biggest achievement is not being underwater yet.",
 +    ],
 +    shreveport: [
 +      "Shreveport? Louisiana's attempt at having a city that isn't about New Orleans.",
 +      "From Shreveport? How's living in the part of Louisiana that Texas didn't want?",
 +      "Shreveport: Where casinos on the river are the only economy floating.",
 +      "Oh, Shreveport? The city that's just East Texas with worse food.",
 +      "Shreveport: Where everyone's either gambling or wishing they had money to gamble.",
 +      "From Shreveport? Let me guess, you're closer to Dallas than New Orleans and prefer it that way.",
 +      "Shreveport: The only Louisiana city where they can't even get corruption right.",
 +      "Where 'entertainment' means riverboat casinos and regret.",
 +      "Shreveport: Proof that not all of Louisiana can jazz.",
 +      "From Shreveport? Your city's biggest export is people driving to Texas for better jobs.",
 +    ],
 +    lafayette: [
 +      "Lafayette? Where everyone's Cajun until you ask them to speak French.",
 +      "From Lafayette? How's living in Louisiana's oil patch with a cultural identity crisis?",
 +      "Lafayette: Where the food's spicy but the economy's gone cold.",
 +      "Oh, Lafayette? The city that thinks it's the heart of Cajun country while selling out to oil companies.",
 +      "Lafayette: Where everyone works in oil or wishes oil would come back.",
 +      "From Lafayette? Let me guess, you're explaining the difference between Cajun and Creole to tourists.",
 +      "Lafayette: The only city where drive-thru daiquiris are considered cultural preservation.",
 +      "Where 'culture' is marketed to tourists while locals work offshore.",
 +      "Lafayette: Proof that you can't run an economy on crawfish and nostalgia.",
 +      "From Lafayette? Your city's biggest achievement is Festival International, two days out of 365.",
 +    ],
 +  },
++
    // ALASKA
    alaska: {
      generic: [