`487c05c`

espand the roast database significantly

Authored by mfwolffe <wolffemf@dukes.jmu.edu> 10 months ago

SHA: 487c05c25171e70aa839490369149931370218f7
Parents: bc50e4b
Tree: 3542ac1

1 changed file

Status	File	+	-
M	`src/data/roastDatabase.js`	974	0

src/data/roastDatabase.jsmodified

      "Your hometown's so irrelevant, even COVID skipped it.",
      "From there? The place where ambition goes to die and mediocrity thrives.",
    ],
++  // AUSTRALIA
++  australia: {
++    generic: [
++      "Australia? Where everything wants to kill you except the healthcare system.",
++      "From Australia? How's living in Britain's sun-damaged basement?",
++      "Australia: Where 'mate' means friend but everyone's actually trying to fight.",
++      "Oh, Australia? The country that's just a desert surrounded by beaches and bad decisions.",
++      "Australia: Where the wildlife is deadlier than the bogans, barely.",
++      "From Australia? Let me guess, you've said 'cunt' three times in this conversation already.",
++      "Australia: The only country where flip-flops are formal wear and spiders need their own zip code.",
++      "Where 'culture' means BBQ and casual racism disguised as banter.",
++      "Australia: Proof that British criminals make terrible founders.",
++      "From Australia? Your country's biggest export is actors pretending to be American and mining companies destroying the planet.",
++      "Australia: Where the internet is slower than a koala on Xanax.",
++      "The country where 'she'll be right' is national policy.",
++      "Australia: America's friend who's somehow even more racist.",
++      "From Australia? You definitely lost a fight to a bird.",
++      "Australia: Because Britain needed somewhere to put their problems.",
++    ],
++    sydney: [
++      "Sydney? Where the harbour's beautiful but you can't afford to see it.",
++      "From Sydney? How's that million-dollar shoebox treating you?",
++      "Sydney: Where everyone's either a banker or serving coffee to bankers.",
++      "Oh, Sydney? The city that thinks it's Australian New York but it's really just expensive and racist.",
++      "Sydney: Where the Opera House is the only culture and you've never been inside.",
++      "From Sydney? Let me guess, you live 2 hours from the CBD but still say you're from Sydney.",
++      "Sydney: The only city where lockout laws killed the nightlife to save lives that weren't in danger.",
++      "Where 'affordable' means only $900k for a studio.",
++      "Sydney: Melbourne's cashed-up bogan cousin.",
++      "From Sydney? Your city's biggest achievement is making Melbourne feel superior.",
++    ],
++    melbourne: [
++      "Melbourne? Where the coffee's pretentious and so is everyone else.",
++      "From Melbourne? How's that European cosplay in the Southern Hemisphere?",
++      "Melbourne: Where everyone's a barista, artist, or lying about being either.",
++      "Oh, Melbourne? The city that's just Portland with worse weather and more smugness.",
++      "Melbourne: Where four seasons in one day is a feature, not a bug.",
++      "From Melbourne? Let me guess, you have opinions about coffee and wear black year-round.",
++      "Melbourne: The only city where laneways are culture and AFL is religion.",
++      "Where 'diversity' means different types of white hipsters.",
++      "Melbourne: Sydney's insecure sibling who went to art school.",
++      "From Melbourne? Your city's biggest achievement is convincing people bad weather builds character.",
++    ],
++    brisbane: [
++      "Brisbane? Sydney's boring cousin who lives in the suburbs.",
++      "From Brisbane? How's being Australia's most forgettable capital?",
++      "Brisbane: Where it's either flooding or you're praying for rain.",
++      "Oh, Brisbane? The city that's just a big country town with delusions.",
++      "Brisbane: Where everyone's friendly because they're too hot to be angry.",
++      "From Brisbane? Let me guess, you tell people you're on the Gold Coast.",
++      "Brisbane: The only city where XXXX is culture and intelligence.",
++      "Where 'nightlife' ends at 9 PM sharp.",
++      "Brisbane: Proof that being subtropical doesn't make you interesting.",
++      "From Brisbane? Your city's biggest achievement is not being the Gold Coast.",
++    ],
++    perth: [
++      "Perth? The most isolated city pretending it's not lonely.",
++      "From Perth? How's being closer to Jakarta than Sydney?",
++      "Perth: Where mining money can't buy proximity to civilization.",
++      "Oh, Perth? The city that's just a sandy suburb with skyscrapers.",
++      "Perth: Where everyone's either a miner or spending a miner's money.",
++      "From Perth? Let me guess, you fly to Bali more than the rest of Australia.",
++      "Perth: The only city where 'east coast' is a swear word.",
++      "Where 'culture' means whatever made it across the desert.",
++      "Perth: Proof that money can't overcome geography.",
++      "From Perth? Your city's biggest achievement is having beaches, like every other Australian city.",
++    ],
++  },
++
++  // NEW ZEALAND
++  newzealand: {
++    generic: [
++      "New Zealand? Australia's Canada, but somehow even more irrelevant.",
++      "From New Zealand? How's living in Middle Earth's gift shop?",
++      "New Zealand: Where sheep outnumber people and have more interesting lives.",
++      "Oh, New Zealand? The country that's just Australia's shy little brother who went to film school.",
++      "New Zealand: Where everyone's outdoorsy because there's nothing indoors.",
++      "From New Zealand? Let me guess, you're explaining you're not Australian for the thousandth time.",
++      "New Zealand: The only country where being left off maps is a personality trait.",
++      "Where 'culture' means rugby and pretending you're not just Britain's other island.",
++      "New Zealand: Proof that being beautiful doesn't mean being important.",
++      "From New Zealand? Your country's biggest export is people to Australia and movies about walking.",
++      "New Zealand: Where 'Hobbiton' is an actual place adults visit unironically.",
++      "The country where earthquakes are the most exciting thing that happens.",
++      "New Zealand: COVID's teacher's pet who nobody likes anymore.",
++      "From New Zealand? You definitely have a complex about Australia.",
++      "New Zealand: Because Tasmania wasn't isolated enough.",
++    ],
++    auckland: [
++      "Auckland? Where the house prices are higher than the Sky Tower.",
++      "From Auckland? How's living in the city of sails with no wind in your economy?",
++      "Auckland: Where everyone's either Chinese or complaining about the Chinese.",
++      "Oh, Auckland? The city that's just Sydney for people who couldn't get an Australian visa.",
++      "Auckland: Where traffic is worse than LA but with 1/10th the population.",
++      "From Auckland? Let me guess, you spend your salary on rent and avocados.",
++      "Auckland: The only city where being on an isthmus is its entire personality.",
++      "Where 'culture' means whatever washed up from Australia.",
++      "Auckland: Proof that harbours can't hide housing crises.",
++      "From Auckland? Your city's biggest achievement is making Wellington feel affordable.",
++    ],
++    wellington: [
++      "Wellington? Where the wind is stronger than the coffee, barely.",
++      "From Wellington? How's living in a capital that feels like a university town?",
++      "Wellington: Where everyone's a civil servant or pretending to be creative.",
++      "Oh, Wellington? The city that's just San Francisco if it was boring and windy.",
++      "Wellington: Where earthquake preparedness is a personality trait.",
++      "From Wellington? Let me guess, you work in government and have a film degree.",
++      "Wellington: The only capital where craft beer is considered culture.",
++      "Where 'windy' describes both the weather and the politicians.",
++      "Wellington: Proof that being quirky doesn't make you interesting.",
++      "From Wellington? Your city's biggest achievement is being in Lord of the Rings credits.",
++    ],
++  },
++
++  // SOUTH KOREA
++  southkorea: {
++    generic: [
++      "South Korea? Where plastic surgery is more common than plastic bottles.",
++      "From South Korea? How's that pressure to be perfect crushing your soul?",
++      "South Korea: Where everyone's either studying for 16 hours or drinking for 16 hours.",
++      "Oh, South Korea? The country that's just a Samsung subsidiary with a flag.",
++      "South Korea: Where K-pop is the only export that isn't a phone or car.",
++      "From South Korea? Let me guess, you're in your 30s and your mom's asking about grandchildren hourly.",
++      "South Korea: The only country where StarCraft is a career and happiness isn't.",
++      "Where 'work-life balance' is a foreign concept, literally.",
++      "South Korea: Proof that economic development doesn't cure societal pressure.",
++      "From South Korea? Your country's biggest export is depressed K-pop stars and phones that explode.",
++      "South Korea: Where the birth rate is lower than the self-esteem.",
++      "The country where everyone looks the same because they go to the same surgeon.",
++      "South Korea: Japan's angrier, less efficient cousin.",
++      "From South Korea? You definitely have a skincare routine longer than your sleep schedule.",
++      "South Korea: Because someone had to make Japan look relaxed.",
++    ],
++    seoul: [
++      "Seoul? Where the subway is more organized than your life will ever be.",
++      "From Seoul? How's living in a city that never sleeps because it's too busy studying?",
++      "Seoul: Where everyone's competing for everything, including depression.",
++      "Oh, Seoul? The city that's just Tokyo with more plastic surgery and kimchi.",
++      "Seoul: Where the coffee shops outnumber the reasons to live.",
++      "From Seoul? Let me guess, you're in Gangnam pretending you can afford it.",
++      "Seoul: The only city where being average means you've failed at life.",
++      "Where 'nightlife' means studying until 4 AM or drinking until you forget you're studying.",
++      "Seoul: Proof that having fast internet doesn't download happiness.",
++      "From Seoul? Your city's biggest achievement is making other Asian cities look laid-back.",
++    ],
++    busan: [
++      "Busan? Seoul's beach bum cousin who still lives at home.",
++      "From Busan? How's being Korea's second city that everyone forgets exists?",
++      "Busan: Where the beaches are nice but you're too busy working to see them.",
++      "Oh, Busan? The city that's just trying not to be Seoul and failing.",
++      "Busan: Where everyone's either in shipping or shipped out to Seoul.",
++      "From Busan? Let me guess, you tell people you're from 'near Seoul'.",
++      "Busan: The only city where the fish market is more lively than downtown.",
++      "Where 'culture' means whatever Seoul didn't want.",
++      "Busan: Proof that having beaches doesn't make you California.",
++      "From Busan? Your city's biggest achievement is that zombie movie that made you famous for dying.",
++    ],
++  },
++
++  // INDIA
++  india: {
++    generic: [
++      "India? Where the population is 1.4 billion but personal space is zero.",
++      "From India? How's that superpower by 2020 thing working out?",
++      "India: Where everyone's an engineer, doctor, or disappointing their parents.",
++      "Oh, India? The country where cows have more rights than women.",
++      "India: Where 'diversity' means 500 ways to be divided by caste, religion, and language.",
++      "From India? Let me guess, you work in IT or a call center pretending to be Steve from Texas.",
++      "India: The only country where honking is a language and traffic rules are suggestions.",
++      "Where 'spicy' means your tongue files for divorce.",
++      "India: Proof that having a space program doesn't mean having toilets.",
++      "From India? Your country's biggest export is engineers and YouTube tutorial guys.",
++      "India: Where arranged marriage works better than the arranged government.",
++      "The country where 'Indian Standard Time' means add 30 minutes and a prayer.",
++      "India: Where everyone's vegetarian until they're not.",
++      "From India? You definitely have an uncle in New Jersey and opinions about Pakistan.",
++      "India: Because someone had to make China's population look manageable.",
++    ],
++    mumbai: [
++      "Mumbai? Where dreams come to die in traffic.",
++      "From Mumbai? How's living in a city where slums have better views than apartments?",
++      "Mumbai: Where everyone's a struggling actor or struggling without acting.",
++      "Oh, Mumbai? The city that's just LA if LA was built on a swamp.",
++      "Mumbai: Where local trains carry more people than the population of small countries.",
++      "From Mumbai? Let me guess, you live in the suburbs but say 'Mumbai'.",
++      "Mumbai: The only city where 'fast' refers to religious observance, not traffic.",
++      "Where 'Bollywood' dreams meet slumdog reality.",
++      "Mumbai: Proof that being the financial capital doesn't mean financial equality.",
++      "From Mumbai? Your city's biggest achievement is functioning despite itself.",
++    ],
++    delhi: [
++      "Delhi? Where the air is spicier than the food.",
++      "From Delhi? How's that lung cancer via breathing?",
++      "Delhi: Where everyone's either powerful or pretending to be.",
++      "Oh, Delhi? The capital where breathing is a form of slow suicide.",
++      "Delhi: Where metro is the only thing that works on time.",
++      "From Delhi? Let me guess, you name-drop connections you don't have.",
++      "Delhi: The only capital where rape makes more headlines than politics.",
++      "Where 'culture' means arguing about which Delhi is real Delhi.",
++      "Delhi: Proof that being the capital doesn't mean being civilized.",
++      "From Delhi? Your city's biggest export is pollution and attitude problems.",
++    ],
++    bangalore: [
++      "Bangalore? Where techies killed what was once a garden city.",
++      "From Bangalore? How's that 4-hour commute to go 10 kilometers?",
++      "Bangalore: Where everyone's in IT but the infrastructure isn't.",
++      "Oh, Bangalore? The city that's just San Francisco minus everything good.",
++      "Bangalore: Where the weather was perfect until the traffic made it hell.",
++      "From Bangalore? Let me guess, you're in a startup that's definitely changing the world.",
++      "Bangalore: The only city where pubs close at 11 PM but traffic never sleeps.",
++      "Where 'cosmopolitan' means North Indians and South Indians hate each other equally.",
++      "Bangalore: Proof that IT money can't fix city planning.",
++      "From Bangalore? Your city's biggest achievement is ruining what was once beautiful.",
++    ],
++    kolkata: [
++      "Kolkata? Where the past is more alive than the economy.",
++      "From Kolkata? How's living in India's communist museum?",
++      "Kolkata: Where everyone's an intellectual but nobody's employed.",
++      "Oh, Kolkata? The city that peaked when it was Calcutta.",
++      "Kolkata: Where strikes are more common than progress.",
++      "From Kolkata? Let me guess, you're debating politics at a tea stall.",
++      "Kolkata: The only city where nostalgia is the main industry.",
++      "Where 'culture' means whatever the British left behind.",
++      "Kolkata: Proof that being cultured doesn't pay bills.",
++      "From Kolkata? Your city's biggest export is intellectuals fleeing to Bangalore.",
++    ],
++    chennai: [
++      "Chennai? Where the heat and conservatism compete to suffocate you.",
++      "From Chennai? How's living in India's most judgmental sauna?",
++      "Chennai: Where everyone's an engineer because creativity melted in the heat.",
++      "Oh, Chennai? The city that's just Bangalore without the nightlife or weather.",
++      "Chennai: Where speaking Hindi is more controversial than the heat.",
++      "From Chennai? Let me guess, you're explaining it's not Madras anymore.",
++      "Chennai: The only city where December is 'winter' at 30°C.",
++      "Where 'culture' means classical music nobody under 60 enjoys.",
++      "Chennai: Proof that beaches can't cool down hot heads.",
++      "From Chennai? Your city's biggest achievement is making Mumbai's weather look pleasant.",
++    ],
++    hyderabad: [
++      "Hyderabad? Where the biryani is better than the infrastructure.",
++      "From Hyderabad? How's living in Bangalore's less successful twin?",
++      "Hyderabad: Where everyone's in IT or eating biryani, sometimes both.",
++      "Oh, Hyderabad? The city that can't decide if it's Telangana or Andhra.",
++      "Hyderabad: Where the pearls are fake but the traffic is real.",
++      "From Hyderabad? Let me guess, you work in HITEC City and hate the commute.",
++      "Hyderabad: The only city where Charminar is more stable than the government.",
++      "Where 'development' means another IT park in the middle of nowhere.",
++      "Hyderabad: Proof that good food can't fix bad planning.",
++      "From Hyderabad? Your city's biggest export is techies moving to the US.",
++    ],
++  },
++
++  // CHINA
++  china: {
++    generic: [
++      "China? Where 1.4 billion people pretend to agree with everything.",
++      "From China? How's that social credit score affecting your ability to complain?",
++      "China: Where the Great Wall is less restrictive than the Great Firewall.",
++      "Oh, China? The country that's just a factory with a flag.",
++      "China: Where innovation means copying but faster.",
++      "From China? Let me guess, you're using a VPN to read this.",
++      "China: The only country where Winnie the Pooh is a political dissident.",
++      "Where 'Made in China' means it'll break before the warranty you don't have.",
++      "China: Proof that economic growth doesn't require human rights.",
++      "From China? Your country's biggest export is everything and surveillance technology.",
++      "China: Where the air quality and government transparency compete for who's worse.",
++      "The country where 5000 years of history is used to justify 50 years of mistakes.",
++      "China: Where everyone's an only child or illegally not.",
++      "From China? You definitely can't say what you really think about this.",
++      "China: Because someone had to make 1984 look like a documentary.",
++    ],
++    beijing: [
++      "Beijing? Where the air is thicker than the Great Wall.",
++      "From Beijing? How's living in a city where breathing is a luxury?",
++      "Beijing: Where history meets pollution in a toxic embrace.",
++      "Oh, Beijing? The capital where you can chew the air.",
++      "Beijing: Where everyone's watching everyone, especially the government.",
++      "From Beijing? Let me guess, you check air quality like weather.",
++      "Beijing: The only capital where face masks were fashionable before COVID.",
++      "Where 'blue sky' days are so rare they make the news.",
++      "Beijing: Proof that being the capital doesn't mean being livable.",
++      "From Beijing? Your city's biggest achievement is making LA's smog look refreshing.",
++    ],
++    shanghai: [
++      "Shanghai? Where the future was built on swampland and it shows.",
++      "From Shanghai? How's living in China's wannabe New York?",
++      "Shanghai: Where everyone's rich on paper but can't afford reality.",
++      "Oh, Shanghai? The city that's just capitalism with Chinese characteristics.",
++      "Shanghai: Where the skyline is impressive but the air is oppressive.",
++      "From Shanghai? Let me guess, you're in finance or faking it.",
++      "Shanghai: The only city where expats complain in every language.",
++      "Where 'culture' is whatever wasn't demolished for skyscrapers.",
++      "Shanghai: Proof that money can't buy breathable air.",
++      "From Shanghai? Your city's biggest achievement is convincing people it's cosmopolitan.",
++    ],
++    shenzhen: [
++      "Shenzhen? Where iPhones are born and dreams go to die.",
++      "From Shenzhen? How's living in China's factory with a skyline?",
++      "Shenzhen: Where everyone's 30 because the city didn't exist before them.",
++      "Oh, Shenzhen? The city that's just Hong Kong's mainland knockoff.",
++      "Shenzhen: Where innovation means copying faster than anyone else.",
++      "From Shenzhen? Let me guess, you're in tech or manufacturing tech.",
++      "Shenzhen: The only city where 'history' means last Tuesday.",
++      "Where 'culture' is whatever you can build in 40 years.",
++      "Shenzhen: Proof that cities can be successful and soulless.",
++      "From Shenzhen? Your city's biggest achievement is making other Chinese cities look historic.",
++    ],
++    guangzhou: [
++      "Guangzhou? Where the dim sum is good but the air is dim.",
++      "From Guangzhou? How's living in China's sweaty armpit?",
++      "Guangzhou: Where everyone's trading something, legally or otherwise.",
++      "Oh, Guangzhou? The city that's just Hong Kong's ugly mainland cousin.",
++      "Guangzhou: Where the Canton Fair is the only fair thing.",
++      "From Guangzhou? Let me guess, you're in trade or wondering why you're there.",
++      "Guangzhou: The only city where African immigrants outnumber Western tourists.",
++      "Where 'international' means 'we trade with everyone'.",
++      "Guangzhou: Proof that being a trade hub doesn't make you cultured.",
++      "From Guangzhou? Your city's biggest achievement is being mentioned when people mean Shenzhen.",
++    ],
++    chengdu: [
++      "Chengdu? Where the pandas have better living conditions than migrant workers.",
++      "From Chengdu? How's living in China's spiciest, laziest city?",
++      "Chengdu: Where everyone's either eating hotpot or recovering from hotpot.",
++      "Oh, Chengdu? The city that's just pandas and Sichuan pepper.",
++      "Chengdu: Where the lifestyle is relaxed because ambition melted in the spice.",
++      "From Chengdu? Let me guess, you're explaining it's not just about pandas.",
++      "Chengdu: The only city where being slow is a cultural identity.",
++      "Where 'tech hub' means the wi-fi works at the tea house.",
++      "Chengdu: Proof that pandas are more productive than locals.",
++      "From Chengdu? Your city's biggest export is panda photos and numb tongues.",
++    ],
++    hangzhou: [
++      "Hangzhou? Where Jack Ma's ego is bigger than West Lake.",
++      "From Hangzhou? How's living in Alibaba's company town?",
++      "Hangzhou: Where ancient poetry meets modern poverty wages.",
++      "Oh, Hangzhou? The city that's beautiful if you ignore the tech bros.",
++      "Hangzhou: Where everyone works 996 and pretends it's innovative.",
++      "From Hangzhou? Let me guess, you're in e-commerce or e-miserable.",
++      "Hangzhou: The only city where the lake is more genuine than the startups.",
++      "Where 'culture' is whatever Alibaba's campus hasn't absorbed.",
++      "Hangzhou: Proof that natural beauty can't survive tech money.",
++      "From Hangzhou? Your city's biggest achievement is being in poems nobody reads.",
++    ],
++  },
++
++  japan: {
++    generic: [
++      "Japan? Where the suicide rate is higher than Mount Fuji.",
++      "From Japan? How's that work-life balance where life doesn't exist?",
++      "Japan: Where everyone's polite because showing emotion is illegal.",
++      "Oh, Japan? The country that's living in 2050 technologically and 1950 socially.",
++      "Japan: Where vending machines have more variety than career options.",
++      "From Japan? Let me guess, you're overworked, underpaid, and apologizing for it.",
++      "Japan: The only country where death from overwork has its own word.",
++      "Where 'culture' means following rules until you die at your desk.",
++      "Japan: Proof that efficiency and happiness are inversely related.",
++      "From Japan? Your country's biggest export is anime and depression.",
++      "Japan: Where the trains are never late but your life is always behind schedule.",
++      "The country where robots have more personality than salarymen.",
++      "Japan: Where everyone's xenophobic but too polite to say it.",
++      "From Japan? You definitely have a favorite convenience store and no work-life balance.",
++      "Japan: Because someone had to make Korea look relaxed.",
++    ],
++    tokyo: [
++      "Tokyo? Where personal space is a myth and rent is a nightmare.",
++      "From Tokyo? How's living in a city that's just one big train station?",
++      "Tokyo: Where everyone's polite because they're dead inside.",
++      "Oh, Tokyo? The city where you pay $2000 to live in a closet.",
++      "Tokyo: Where the vending machines have more personality than the people.",
++      "From Tokyo? Let me guess, you're in a job that's slowly killing your soul.",
++      "Tokyo: The only city where suicide is so common it delays trains.",
++      "Where 'culture' means working yourself to death with style.",
++      "Tokyo: Proof that efficiency can't cure loneliness.",
++      "From Tokyo? Your city's biggest achievement is making New York look spacious.",
++    ],
++    osaka: [
++      "Osaka? Tokyo's louder, less sophisticated cousin.",
++      "From Osaka? How's being Japan's second city with a first-rate complex?",
++      "Osaka: Where everyone's a comedian but nobody's laughing.",
++      "Oh, Osaka? The city that's just Tokyo with worse manners.",
++      "Osaka: Where the food is better but everything else is worse.",
++      "From Osaka? Let me guess, you're explaining how you're different from Tokyo.",
++      "Osaka: The only city where being rude is considered charming.",
++      "Where 'culture' means eating until you can't move.",
++      "Osaka: Proof that being funny doesn't make you important.",
++      "From Osaka? Your city's biggest achievement is making Tokyo look cultured.",
++    ],
++    kyoto: [
++      "Kyoto? Where tourists outnumber temples and both are everywhere.",
++      "From Kyoto? How's living in Japan's theme park?",
++      "Kyoto: Where tradition is preserved for Instagram.",
++      "Oh, Kyoto? The city that's just a museum with residents.",
++      "Kyoto: Where everyone's either a monk or selling to tourists.",
++      "From Kyoto? Let me guess, you're tired of tourists asking for geisha photos.",
++      "Kyoto: The only city where the past is more profitable than the future.",
++      "Where 'authenticity' costs extra.",
++      "Kyoto: Proof that beauty can be suffocating.",
++      "From Kyoto? Your city's biggest achievement is convincing people old means wise.",
++    ],
++    yokohama: [
++      "Yokohama? Tokyo's parking lot with a chinatown.",
++      "From Yokohama? How's being Tokyo's forgotten suburb by the sea?",
++      "Yokohama: Where everyone pretends they're not just Greater Tokyo.",
++      "Oh, Yokohama? The city that exists because Tokyo ran out of space.",
++      "Yokohama: Where the ramen museum is the cultural peak.",
++      "From Yokohama? Let me guess, you work in Tokyo but can't afford Tokyo.",
++      "Yokohama: The only city whose identity is 'near Tokyo with a port'.",
++      "Where 'independence' means having your own train line to Tokyo.",
++      "Yokohama: Proof that being huge doesn't mean being important.",
++      "From Yokohama? Your city's biggest achievement is not being absorbed by Tokyo yet.",
++    ],
++  },
++
++  // RUSSIA
++  russia: {
++    generic: [
++      "Russia? Where the vodka flows easier than democracy.",
++      "From Russia? How's that eternal winter matching your government?",
++      "Russia: Where everyone's depressed but too drunk to notice.",
++      "Oh, Russia? The country that's just a gas station with nuclear weapons.",
++      "Russia: Where the history is glorious and the present is inglorious.",
++      "From Russia? Let me guess, you're planning to leave or already drunk.",
++      "Russia: The only country where fatalism is the national philosophy.",
++      "Where 'opposition' means falling out of windows accidentally.",
++      "Russia: Proof that size doesn't matter when everything's frozen.",
++      "From Russia? Your country's biggest export is dashcam videos and hackers.",
++      "Russia: Where the literature is deep because the despair is deeper.",
++      "The country where 'mysterious circumstances' is a leading cause of death.",
++      "Russia: Where everyone's a chess grandmaster or a pawn.",
++      "From Russia? You definitely have a fur hat and trust issues.",
++      "Russia: Because someone had to make Belarus look cheerful.",
++    ],
++    moscow: [
++      "Moscow? Where the oligarchs are richer than the history.",
++      "From Moscow? How's living in Europe's most expensive authoritarian theme park?",
++      "Moscow: Where everyone's either corrupt or corrupted by proximity.",
++      "Oh, Moscow? The city that's just St. Petersburg with worse architecture and more money.",
++      "Moscow: Where the metro is beautiful because above ground is depressing.",
++      "From Moscow? Let me guess, you're in oil, gas, or depression.",
++      "Moscow: The only capital where the Kremlin walls keep reality out.",
++      "Where 'culture' means whatever Putin approves this week.",
++      "Moscow: Proof that money can't buy taste or democracy.",
++      "From Moscow? Your city's biggest achievement is making other Russian cities look poor.",
++    ],
++    st_petersburg: [
++      "St. Petersburg? Where the buildings are European but the problems are Russian.",
++      "From St. Petersburg? How's living in Putin's hometown help your career?",
++      "St. Petersburg: Where everyone's cultured but can't afford culture.",
++      "Oh, St. Petersburg? The city that's just Venice if Venice was depressing.",
++      "St. Petersburg: Where white nights can't brighten the political darkness.",
++      "From St. Petersburg? Let me guess, you're an artist starving with style.",
++      "St. Petersburg: The only city where beauty can't mask authoritarian decay.",
++      "Where 'culture' flourishes despite the government's best efforts.",
++      "St. Petersburg: Proof that being beautiful doesn't mean being free.",
++      "From St. Petersburg? Your city's biggest export is nostalgia for when it mattered.",
++    ],
++    novosibirsk: [
++      "Novosibirsk? Where Siberia's dreams go to freeze.",
++      "From Novosibirsk? How's being Russia's third city that nobody remembers exists?",
++      "Novosibirsk: Where the temperature and morale compete for who's lower.",
++      "Oh, Novosibirsk? The city that's just a train stop that got ambitious.",
++      "Novosibirsk: Where scientists go to disappear into irrelevance.",
++      "From Novosibirsk? Let me guess, you're explaining where in Siberia you are.",
++      "Novosibirsk: The only city where 'culture' means the opera house and depression.",
++      "Where 'development' stopped when the Soviet Union did.",
++      "Novosibirsk: Proof that being big in Siberia means nothing.",
++      "From Novosibirsk? Your city's biggest achievement is having a metro in permafrost.",
++    ],
++    sochi: [
++      "Sochi? Where Putin's Olympics left debt and empty stadiums.",
++      "From Sochi? How's living in Russia's attempt at having a beach resort?",
++      "Sochi: Where the Black Sea meets white elephants.",
++      "Oh, Sochi? The city that spent billions to host Olympics nobody remembers.",
++      "Sochi: Where oligarchs vacation and locals can't afford to exist.",
++      "From Sochi? Let me guess, you work in tourism or construction corruption.",
++      "Sochi: The only resort where the prices are European but the service is Soviet.",
++      "Where 'legacy' means abandoned Olympic venues.",
++      "Sochi: Proof that hosting Olympics doesn't make you Olympic-worthy.",
++      "From Sochi? Your city's biggest achievement is making Putin feel tropical.",
++    ],
++  },
++  // TAIWAN
++  taiwan: {
++    generic: [
++      "Taiwan? The country that exists in diplomatic limbo but makes everyone's semiconductors.",
++      "From Taiwan? How's that eternal 'Are we a country?' debate treating you?",
++      "Taiwan: Where the bubble tea is sweet but the China situation is bitter.",
++      "Oh, Taiwan? The island that's just China's rebellious teenager who moved out.",
++      "Taiwan: Where everyone's preparing for invasion while pretending everything's fine.",
++      "From Taiwan? Let me guess, you work in tech or semiconductors like everyone else.",
++      "Taiwan: The only country where your passport's validity depends on who you ask.",
++      "Where 'independence' is a word you whisper but never declare.",
++      "Taiwan: Proof that making the world's chips doesn't guarantee recognition.",
++      "From Taiwan? Your country's biggest export is computer chips and political awkwardness.",
++      "Taiwan: Where the night markets are more organized than the political status.",
++      "The island where 'One China' means different things to everyone.",
++      "Taiwan: Where everyone's learning English to eventually leave.",
++      "From Taiwan? You definitely have strong opinions about the KMT and DPP.",
++      "Taiwan: Because being actually independent is too mainstream.",
++    ],
++    taipei: [
++      "Taipei? Where the 101 tower is taller than the political aspirations.",
++      "From Taipei? How's living in a capital that China says isn't a capital?",
++      "Taipei: Where everyone's stressed about China but too polite to panic.",
++      "Oh, Taipei? The city that's just Hong Kong's democratic but boring cousin.",
++      "Taipei: Where the MRT works better than international recognition.",
++      "From Taipei? Let me guess, you work insane hours but still can't afford housing.",
++      "Taipei: The only capital where stinky tofu smells better than the political situation.",
++      "Where 'nightlife' means night markets and KTV until dawn.",
++      "Taipei: Proof that having democracy doesn't mean having allies.",
++      "From Taipei? Your city's biggest achievement is making Hong Kong jealous of your freedom.",
++    ],
++    kaohsiung: [
++      "Kaohsiung? Taiwan's second city that wishes it was first.",
++      "From Kaohsiung? How's living in Taipei's sweaty industrial cousin?",
++      "Kaohsiung: Where the harbor is busy but the city isn't.",
++      "Oh, Kaohsiung? The city that's just a port with apartments.",
++      "Kaohsiung: Where everyone's either in shipping or shipped out to Taipei.",
++      "From Kaohsiung? Let me guess, you tell people you're from 'southern Taiwan'.",
++      "Kaohsiung: The only city where the love river is neither lovely nor a river.",
++      "Where 'culture' means whatever Taipei didn't want.",
++      "Kaohsiung: Proof that being the largest port doesn't make you important.",
++      "From Kaohsiung? Your city's biggest achievement is having slightly cheaper rent than Taipei.",
++    ],
++    taichung: [
++      "Taichung? The city that exists because Taiwan needed something between Taipei and Kaohsiung.",
++      "From Taichung? How's living in Taiwan's forgotten middle child?",
++      "Taichung: Where the bubble tea is good but that's about it.",
++      "Oh, Taichung? The city that's just a rest stop with delusions.",
++      "Taichung: Where everyone's either passing through or stuck.",
++      "From Taichung? Let me guess, you're explaining why it's better than people think.",
++      "Taichung: The only city where 'central' location doesn't mean centrally important.",
++      "Where 'attractions' means that colorful village Instagram ruined.",
++      "Taichung: Proof that being in the middle doesn't make you matter.",
++      "From Taichung? Your city's biggest achievement is being equidistant from better places.",
++    ],
++  },
++
++  // IRAN
++  iran: {
++    generic: [
++      "Iran? Where the history is ancient but the government is medieval.",
++      "From Iran? How's that theocracy treating your VPN collection?",
++      "Iran: Where everyone's Persian until the Arabs hear you say that.",
++      "Oh, Iran? The country that went from Persian Empire to Islamic Republic of Instagram VPNs.",
++      "Iran: Where the women are educated but can't show their hair.",
++      "From Iran? Let me guess, you're explaining you're not Arab for the millionth time.",
++      "Iran: The only country where yogurt drinks are more stable than the currency.",
++      "Where 'sanctions' is just another word for Tuesday.",
++      "Iran: Proof that oil wealth can't buy freedom.",
++      "From Iran? Your country's biggest export is pistachios and brain drain to California.",
++      "Iran: Where everyone has a PhD but drives a taxi.",
++      "The country where 'Death to America' is policy but everyone wants a green card.",
++      "Iran: Where the youth are more modern than the mollahs allow.",
++      "From Iran? You definitely have relatives in Los Angeles and opinions about the Shah.",
++      "Iran: Because Persia sounded too free.",
++    ],
++    tehran: [
++      "Tehran? Where the smog is thicker than the women's mandatory hijabs.",
++      "From Tehran? How's living in a capital where fun is illegal but traffic isn't?",
++      "Tehran: Where everyone's rich in the north and realistic in the south.",
++      "Oh, Tehran? The city that's just Los Angeles if LA was run by clerics.",
++      "Tehran: Where the mountains are beautiful but you can't see them through pollution.",
++      "From Tehran? Let me guess, you party in private and pretend in public.",
++      "Tehran: The only capital where traffic jams last longer than marriages.",
++      "Where 'culture' happens behind closed doors.",
++      "Tehran: Proof that you can't run a modern city with ancient rules.",
++      "From Tehran? Your city's biggest achievement is having Instagram despite it being banned.",
++    ],
++    isfahan: [
++      "Isfahan? Half the world, but your government wants none of it.",
++      "From Isfahan? How's living in Iran's museum city?",
++      "Isfahan: Where the architecture is stunning but the economy is stunted.",
++      "Oh, Isfahan? The city that peaked 400 years ago.",
++      "Isfahan: Where tourists come for culture and leave with carpets.",
++      "From Isfahan? Let me guess, you're in tourism or handicrafts or both.",
++      "Isfahan: The only city where the bridges are dry because they needed the water.",
++      "Where 'preservation' means keeping buildings, not freedoms.",
++      "Isfahan: Proof that beauty can't overcome bureaucracy.",
++      "From Isfahan? Your city's biggest export is overpriced carpets and UNESCO photos.",
++    ],
++    shiraz: [
++      "Shiraz? Where the poetry is beautiful but you can't drink the wine.",
++      "From Shiraz? How's living in the city of love where dating is complicated?",
++      "Shiraz: Where Hafez wrote about wine in a country that banned it.",
++      "Oh, Shiraz? The city of poets in a country that jails writers.",
++      "Shiraz: Where everyone quotes poetry but can't speak freely.",
++      "From Shiraz? Let me guess, you're cultured but careful about showing it.",
++      "Shiraz: The only city named after wine where alcohol is illegal.",
++      "Where 'romance' means reading poetry because everything else is haram.",
++      "Shiraz: Proof that having history doesn't mean having freedom.",
++      "From Shiraz? Your city's biggest achievement is making people google 'Persepolis'.",
++    ],
++  },
++  // IRAQ
++  iraq: {
++    generic: [
++      "Iraq? Where ancient Babylon meets modern chaos.",
++      "From Iraq? How's that 'liberation' working out two decades later?",
++      "Iraq: Where oil is plentiful but electricity isn't.",
++      "Oh, Iraq? The country that went from cradle of civilization to grave of stability.",
++      "Iraq: Where everyone's tired of being a geopolitical pawn.",
++      "From Iraq? Let me guess, you're explaining which sect you're not.",
++      "Iraq: The only country where ISIS was an improvement on the traffic.",
++      "Where 'reconstruction' has been under construction since 2003.",
++      "Iraq: Proof that regime change doesn't mean positive change.",
++      "From Iraq? Your country's biggest export is oil and refugees.",
++      "Iraq: Where the Tigris and Euphrates meet but the government doesn't.",
++      "The country where 'security' means different things in different neighborhoods.",
++      "Iraq: Where everyone has a generator because the government doesn't generate power.",
++      "From Iraq? You definitely have relatives in Michigan and memories of better times.",
++      "Iraq: Because someone had to test America's foreign policy.",
++    ],
++    baghdad: [
++      "Baghdad? Where the Green Zone is the only green thing left.",
++      "From Baghdad? How's living in a capital divided by blast walls?",
++      "Baghdad: Where One Thousand and One Nights became one thousand and one explosions.",
++      "Oh, Baghdad? The city that went from House of Wisdom to house of cards.",
++      "Baghdad: Where everyone's a survivor because what's the alternative?",
++      "From Baghdad? Let me guess, you measure distance in checkpoints.",
++      "Baghdad: The only capital where traffic jams save lives from car bombs.",
++      "Where 'nightlife' ended in 2003.",
++      "Baghdad: Proof that history can't protect you from geopolitics.",
++      "From Baghdad? Your city's biggest achievement is still functioning, somehow.",
++    ],
++    basra: [
++      "Basra? Where the oil is rich but the people aren't.",
++      "From Basra? How's living in Iraq's sweaty, neglected south?",
++      "Basra: Where the temperature and tempers run equally hot.",
++      "Oh, Basra? The city that's Venice if Venice was burning.",
++      "Basra: Where everyone works in oil but can't afford fuel.",
++      "From Basra? Let me guess, you're protesting about water or electricity.",
++      "Basra: The only city where the port works better than the government.",
++      "Where 'development' means another oil contract for foreign companies.",
++      "Basra: Proof that sitting on oil doesn't mean sitting pretty.",
++      "From Basra? Your city's biggest export is oil and anger about where oil money goes.",
++    ],
++    erbil: [
++      "Erbil? Where Kurdistan dreams of independence but settles for autonomy.",
++      "From Erbil? How's being the capital of a country that doesn't exist?",
++      "Erbil: Where everyone's Kurdish first and Iraqi when convenient.",
++      "Oh, Erbil? The city that's just Baghdad's more stable, less recognized cousin.",
++      "Erbil: Where the citadel is ancient but the independence movement isn't.",
++      "From Erbil? Let me guess, you're explaining Kurdish isn't Arabic.",
++      "Erbil: The only city where the flag depends on who's asking.",
++      "Where 'progress' is relative to how bad Baghdad is doing.",
++      "Erbil: Proof that being better doesn't mean being independent.",
++      "From Erbil? Your city's biggest achievement is making Iraq look dysfunctional by comparison.",
++    ],
++  },
++  // KAZAKHSTAN
++  kazakhstan: {
++    generic: [
++      "Kazakhstan? Where Borat is still the most famous thing about you.",
++      "From Kazakhstan? How's being Russia's parking lot with oil?",
++      "Kazakhstan: Where the steppe is empty and so are the promises.",
++      "Oh, Kazakhstan? The country that's just Russia's khaki-colored annex.",
++      "Kazakhstan: Where everyone's either in oil or wondering why they're there.",
++      "From Kazakhstan? Let me guess, you're tired of Borat jokes but have no better material.",
++      "Kazakhstan: The only country where the capital moved because the president was bored.",
++      "Where 'diversity' means Russians and Kazakhs tolerating each other.",
++      "Kazakhstan: Proof that being huge doesn't mean being important.",
++      "From Kazakhstan? Your country's biggest export is oil and potassium jokes.",
++      "Kazakhstan: Where the horses have more culture than the cities.",
++      "The country where corruption is so normal it's basically tradition.",
++      "Kazakhstan: Where everyone's name ends in -ov but they swear they're not Russian.",
++      "From Kazakhstan? You definitely have strong opinions about Nazarbayev.",
++      "Kazakhstan: Because someone had to make Mongolia look densely populated.",
++    ],
++    almaty: [
++      "Almaty? The real capital that got demoted for being too interesting.",
++      "From Almaty? How's living in Kazakhstan's only city with a pulse?",
++      "Almaty: Where the mountains are beautiful but the air isn't.",
++      "Oh, Almaty? The city that's just Moscow's central Asian franchise.",
++      "Almaty: Where everyone's either a student or corrupt, sometimes both.",
++      "From Almaty? Let me guess, you miss being the capital.",
++      "Almaty: The only city where apples are famous because nothing else is.",
++      "Where 'culture' means whatever survived Sovietization.",
++      "Almaty: Proof that being the biggest doesn't mean being the capital.",
++      "From Almaty? Your city's biggest achievement is having mountains nearby.",
++    ],
++    nur_sultan: [
++      "Nur-Sultan? The capital that changes names more than a spy.",
++      "From Nur-Sultan? How's living in a city designed by a dictator's fever dream?",
++      "Nur-Sultan: Where the architecture is futuristic but the politics are ancient.",
++      "Oh, Nur-Sultan? The city that's just Astana with a personality cult.",
++      "Nur-Sultan: Where it's -40° and the buildings look like they're melting.",
++      "From Nur-Sultan? Let me guess, you work for the government or wonder why you're there.",
++      "Nur-Sultan: The only capital built to prove a point nobody understands.",
++      "Where 'urban planning' means whatever Nazarbayev dreamed up.",
++      "Nur-Sultan: Proof that you can build a capital but not a soul.",
++      "From Nur-Sultan? Your city's biggest achievement is confusing map makers with name changes.",
++    ],
++  },
++
++  // UZBEKISTAN
++  uzbekistan: {
++    generic: [
++      "Uzbekistan? Where the Silk Road ended and progress stopped.",
++      "From Uzbekistan? How's that post-Soviet hangover treating you?",
++      "Uzbekistan: Where cotton is king and workers are serfs.",
++      "Oh, Uzbekistan? The country that's just Borat's less famous neighbor.",
++      "Uzbekistan: Where everyone's name ends in -ov but the government begins with corruption.",
++      "From Uzbekistan? Let me guess, you're in cotton or trying to leave.",
++      "Uzbekistan: The only country where the architecture is better than the government.",
++      "Where 'reform' means the dictator's son is slightly less terrible.",
++      "Uzbekistan: Proof that being on the Silk Road doesn't mean you're going anywhere.",
++      "From Uzbekistan? Your country's biggest export is cotton picked by forced labor.",
++      "Uzbekistan: Where the desert is less dry than the economy.",
++      "The country where tourism means showing off buildings from when you mattered.",
++      "Uzbekistan: Where everyone's Muslim but the vodka flows freely.",
++      "From Uzbekistan? You definitely have relatives in Russia sending money back.",
++      "Uzbekistan: Because someone had to make Turkmenistan look progressive.",
++    ],
++    tashkent: [
++      "Tashkent? Where Soviet concrete meets Central Asian chaos.",
++      "From Tashkent? How's living in the city rebuilt by an earthquake and ruined by planning?",
++      "Tashkent: Where the metro is beautiful because above ground isn't.",
++      "Oh, Tashkent? The city that's just Moscow's forgotten Central Asian office.",
++      "Tashkent: Where everyone's either a bureaucrat or bribing one.",
++      "From Tashkent? Let me guess, you're proud of that metro you can't photograph.",
++      "Tashkent: The only capital where the bazaar is more organized than the government.",
++      "Where 'modern' means Soviet-era apartment blocks.",
++      "Tashkent: Proof that being the biggest city doesn't mean being interesting.",
++      "From Tashkent? Your city's biggest achievement is surviving that 1966 earthquake.",
++    ],
++    samarkand: [
++      "Samarkand? Where the past is glorious and the present is tourist traps.",
++      "From Samarkand? How's living in a UNESCO site that peaked 600 years ago?",
++      "Samarkand: Where Tamerlane's legacy is taller than current ambitions.",
++      "Oh, Samarkand? The city that's just an outdoor museum with residents.",
++      "Samarkand: Where everyone's either restoring history or selling it.",
++      "From Samarkand? Let me guess, you work in tourism or wish tourists would leave.",
++      "Samarkand: The only city where the dead have better architecture than the living.",
++      "Where 'development' means adding gift shops to historical sites.",
++      "Samarkand: Proof that past glory doesn't pay present bills.",
++      "From Samarkand? Your city's biggest achievement happened before Columbus was born.",
++    ],
++  },
++  // ROMANIA
++  romania: {
++    generic: [
++      "Romania? Where Dracula is the most positive representation you have.",
++      "From Romania? How's being Europe's parking lot for cheap labor?",
++      "Romania: Where everyone's a hacker, scammer, or driving a cab in Paris.",
++      "Oh, Romania? The country that's just Moldova's slightly more successful sibling.",
++      "Romania: Where the Internet is fast because reality is too depressing to face.",
++      "From Romania? Let me guess, you're in IT or Germany.",
++      "Romania: The only EU country where horse carts share highways with BMWs.",
++      "Where 'corruption' is so common it's basically culture.",
++      "Romania: Proof that EU membership doesn't cure Post-Communist syndrome.",
++      "From Romania? Your country's biggest export is IT workers and abandoned children.",
++      "Romania: Where everyone claims to be descended from Romans but acts like barbarians.",
++      "The country where stealing is a career path and politics is organized crime.",
++      "Romania: Where the mountains are beautiful but the government is ugly.",
++      "From Romania? You definitely have a relative building houses in Spain.",
++      "Romania: Because someone had to make Bulgaria look good.",
++    ],
++    bucharest: [
++      "Bucharest? The Paris of the East, if Paris was hit by communism and never recovered.",
++      "From Bucharest? How's living in Europe's most chaotic capital?",
++      "Bucharest: Where Ceaușescu's palace is bigger than the city's prospects.",
++      "Oh, Bucharest? The city that's just concrete and corruption.",
++      "Bucharest: Where everyone drives like they're escaping something.",
++      "From Bucharest? Let me guess, you work in IT and dream of Berlin.",
++      "Bucharest: The only capital where stray dogs had more rights than pedestrians.",
++      "Where 'nightlife' means escaping reality in overpriced clubs.",
++      "Bucharest: Proof that you can destroy a city's soul with concrete.",
++      "From Bucharest? Your city's biggest achievement is having faster internet than dignity.",
++    ],
++    cluj_napoca: [
++      "Cluj? Where Transylvania's tech scene meets medieval pretensions.",
++      "From Cluj? How's that 'Silicon Valley of Romania' delusion working?",
++      "Cluj: Where students stay because nowhere else in Romania is hiring.",
++      "Oh, Cluj? The city that thinks it's better than Bucharest (it's not).",
++      "Cluj: Where rent prices think they're in Western Europe.",
++      "From Cluj? Let me guess, you're in tech or studying to be in tech.",
++      "Cluj: The only city where Hungarian is spoken more than job opportunities.",
++      "Where 'multicultural' means Romanians and Hungarians barely tolerating each other.",
++      "Cluj: Proof that having universities doesn't create jobs.",
++      "From Cluj? Your city's biggest achievement is convincing companies Romania has a Silicon Valley.",
++    ],
++  },
++
++  // BULGARIA
++  bulgaria: {
++    generic: [
++      "Bulgaria? Where the yogurt has more culture than the people.",
++      "From Bulgaria? How's being Europe's poorest member treating you?",
++      "Bulgaria: Where everyone's a hacker or wishing they could hack their way out.",
++      "Oh, Bulgaria? The country that's just Romania's even poorer cousin.",
++      "Bulgaria: Where the roses are beautiful but everything else is thorny.",
++      "From Bulgaria? Let me guess, you're in Germany or planning the move.",
++      "Bulgaria: The only EU country where the mafia has a political party.",
++      "Where 'development' means another mall in Sofia.",
++      "Bulgaria: Proof that inventing yogurt doesn't sustain an economy.",
++      "From Bulgaria? Your country's biggest export is nurses and nostalgic communists.",
++      "Bulgaria: Where the beaches are nice but the wages are offensive.",
++      "The country where everyone's Orthodox but prays for a German salary.",
++      "Bulgaria: Where the history is rich but the people aren't.",
++      "From Bulgaria? You definitely have a friend who married for an EU passport.",
++      "Bulgaria: Because someone had to be last in the EU rankings.",
++    ],
++    sofia: [
++      "Sofia? Where the mountains are close but prosperity is distant.",
++      "From Sofia? How's living in the Balkans' most underachieving capital?",
++      "Sofia: Where everyone's either in IT or leaving for IT abroad.",
++      "Oh, Sofia? The city that's just a giant parking problem with a cathedral.",
++      "Sofia: Where the yellow bricks lead to nowhere.",
++      "From Sofia? Let me guess, you complain about corruption while paying bribes.",
++      "Sofia: The only capital where Roman ruins are parking lots.",
++      "Where 'culture' means whatever survived communism and construction.",
++      "Sofia: Proof that being a capital doesn't mean having capital.",
++      "From Sofia? Your city's biggest achievement is having a mountain nearby to escape to.",
++    ],
++    plovdiv: [
++      "Plovdiv? Europe's oldest city that peaked 2000 years ago.",
++      "From Plovdiv? How's living in Sofia's more historic, less relevant sibling?",
++      "Plovdiv: Where the Roman theater is in better shape than the economy.",
++      "Oh, Plovdiv? The city that was Capital of Culture and nobody noticed.",
++      "Plovdiv: Where everyone's an artist because real jobs don't exist.",
++      "From Plovdiv? Let me guess, you tell tourists it's better than Sofia.",
++      "Plovdiv: The only city where ancient history is the only industry.",
++      "Where 'revival' architecture means copying what worked 200 years ago.",
++      "Plovdiv: Proof that being old doesn't mean being important.",
++      "From Plovdiv? Your city's biggest achievement was hosting events nobody attended.",
++    ],
++  },
++  // CROATIA
++  croatia: {
++    generic: [
++      "Croatia? Where the coastline is gorgeous but the economy is seasick.",
++      "From Croatia? How's that EU membership working with those EU prices and Balkan wages?",
++      "Croatia: Where everyone's a tour guide three months a year and unemployed the other nine.",
++      "Oh, Croatia? The country that's just Italy's cheaper vacation knockoff.",
++      "Croatia: Where Game of Thrones filmed because it already looked post-apocalyptic.",
++      "From Croatia? Let me guess, you're renting your apartment to tourists and living with parents.",
++      "Croatia: The only country where the islands have more jobs than the mainland.",
++      "Where 'independence' meant swapping Yugoslav dysfunction for EU bureaucracy.",
++      "Croatia: Proof that beautiful beaches can't feed families.",
++      "From Croatia? Your country's biggest export is young people to Ireland and Germany.",
++      "Croatia: Where everyone claims Tesla but can't keep the lights on.",
++      "The country where nationalism is stronger than the economy.",
++      "Croatia: Where the war ended but the mentality didn't.",
++      "From Croatia? You definitely have strong opinions about Serbia and weak job prospects.",
++      "Croatia: Because someone had to make Bosnia look functional.",
++    ],
++    zagreb: [
++      "Zagreb? Where the Christmas market is more famous than actual achievements.",
++      "From Zagreb? How's living in a capital that tourists skip for the coast?",
++      "Zagreb: Where everyone's bitter about not being on the seaside.",
++      "Oh, Zagreb? The city that's just Vienna's poorest, smallest cousin.",
++      "Zagreb: Where the earthquake did urban planning better than the government.",
++      "From Zagreb? Let me guess, you work in tourism but never see tourists.",
++      "Zagreb: The only capital where the main square is the only square that matters.",
++      "Where 'culture' means copying whatever Austria did 50 years ago.",
++      "Zagreb: Proof that being a capital doesn't mean being visited.",
++      "From Zagreb? Your city's biggest achievement is that Christmas market everyone forgets by January.",
++    ],
++    split: [
++      "Split? Where Diocletian's Palace is in better shape than the local economy.",
++      "From Split? How's living in a tourist theme park?",
++      "Split: Where locals can't afford to live because of Airbnb.",
++      "Oh, Split? The city that's just an ancient palace turned into apartment rentals.",
++      "Split: Where everyone's either serving tourists or resenting them.",
++      "From Split? Let me guess, you avoid the old town from June to September.",
++      "Split: The only city where Roman ruins have better infrastructure than modern buildings.",
++      "Where 'culture' is performed hourly for cruise ship passengers.",
++      "Split: Proof that history doesn't pay contemporary bills.",
++      "From Split? Your city's biggest achievement is convincing people Diocletian's basement is worth visiting.",
++    ],
++    dubrovnik: [
++      "Dubrovnik? King's Landing for people who think Croatia is a Game of Thrones set.",
++      "From Dubrovnik? How's living in Europe's most expensive medieval theme park?",
++      "Dubrovnik: Where locals are extras in their own city.",
++      "Oh, Dubrovnik? The city that sold its soul to HBO and cruise ships.",
++      "Dubrovnik: Where the walls protected against Venetians but not against tourists.",
++      "From Dubrovnik? Let me guess, you can't afford to live within the walls.",
++      "Dubrovnik: The only city where fictional TV history is more profitable than real history.",
++      "Where 'authentic' costs extra and locals can't afford it.",
++      "Dubrovnik: Proof that being beautiful is a curse if you're poor.",
++      "From Dubrovnik? Your city's biggest achievement is being destroyed by tourism while claiming to preserve heritage.",
++    ],
++  },
++
++  // SERBIA
++  serbia: {
++    generic: [
++      "Serbia? Where the 90s never ended and neither did the grievances.",
++      "From Serbia? How's that eternal victim complex working for EU membership?",
++      "Serbia: Where everyone's still fighting wars that ended decades ago.",
++      "Oh, Serbia? The country that's just Russia's mini-me in the Balkans.",
++      "Serbia: Where nationalism is the only growth industry.",
++      "From Serbia? Let me guess, Kosovo is Serbia and you'll tell everyone.",
++      "Serbia: The only country where losing wars is part of the national identity.",
++      "Where 'progress' means accepting you're not getting Kosovo back.",
++      "Serbia: Proof that being stubborn doesn't mean being right.",
++      "From Serbia? Your country's biggest export is war criminals and basketball players.",
++      "Serbia: Where the past is more alive than the economy.",
++      "The country where everyone's Orthodox but acts like pagans.",
++      "Serbia: Where the EU keeps you at arm's length for good reasons.",
++      "From Serbia? You definitely have strong opinions about 1389 like it was yesterday.",
++      "Serbia: Because someone had to make the Balkans complicated.",
++    ],
++    belgrade: [
++      "Belgrade? Where the nightlife is better than the daylife.",
++      "From Belgrade? How's living at the crossroads of nothing and nowhere?",
++      "Belgrade: Where every building tells a story of who bombed it.",
++      "Oh, Belgrade? The city that's been destroyed 40 times and it shows.",
++      "Belgrade: Where everyone parties because tomorrow might be another war.",
++      "From Belgrade? Let me guess, you're in IT or a club at 4 AM.",
++      "Belgrade: The only capital where floating clubs are more stable than the government.",
++      "Where 'culture' means staying up until 6 AM.",
++      "Belgrade: Proof that good nightlife can't fix daytime problems.",
++      "From Belgrade? Your city's biggest achievement is surviving another decade.",
++    ],
++    novi_sad: [
++      "Novi Sad? Belgrade's boring younger sibling with a fortress.",
++      "From Novi Sad? How's being Serbia's 'cultural capital' with no culture?",
++      "Novi Sad: Where EXIT festival is the only entrance to relevance.",
++      "Oh, Novi Sad? The city that's just Petrovaradin fortress and wishful thinking.",
++      "Novi Sad: Where everyone's more civilized but equally unemployed.",
++      "From Novi Sad? Let me guess, you're proud you're not Belgrade.",
++      "Novi Sad: The only city where being bombed was the most exciting thing that happened.",
++      "Where 'diversity' means Serbs and Hungarians ignoring each other.",
++      "Novi Sad: Proof that being cultured doesn't pay bills.",
++      "From Novi Sad? Your city's biggest achievement is that music festival everyone forgets exists.",
++    ],
++  },
++
++  // LITHUANIA
++  lithuania: {
++    generic: [
++      "Lithuania? Where the suicide rate competes with the emigration rate.",
++      "From Lithuania? How's being the Baltic state everyone forgets exists?",
++      "Lithuania: Where everyone's grandfather was a partisan and everyone's cousin is in London.",
++      "Oh, Lithuania? The country that's just Poland's depressed little brother.",
++      "Lithuania: Where basketball is religion because God abandoned everything else.",
++      "From Lithuania? Let me guess, you're IT or planning to leave for Norway.",
++      "Lithuania: The only country where depression is a national characteristic.",
++      "Where 'culture' means drinking until you forget you're Lithuanian.",
++      "Lithuania: Proof that independence doesn't guarantee happiness.",
++      "From Lithuania? Your country's biggest export is sadness and construction workers.",
++      "Lithuania: Where the history is tragic and the present isn't much better.",
++      "The country where everyone's Catholic but acts like nihilists.",
++      "Lithuania: Where the winters are long and the hope is short.",
++      "From Lithuania? You definitely have more relatives abroad than at home.",
++      "Lithuania: Because someone had to make Estonia look cheerful.",
++    ],
++    vilnius: [
++      "Vilnius? Where the old town is pretty but the people are prettier when drunk.",
++      "From Vilnius? How's living in the Baltics' most suicidal capital?",
++      "Vilnius: Where everyone's an artist because real jobs don't exist.",
++      "Oh, Vilnius? The city that's just Riga's less interesting Catholic cousin.",
++      "Vilnius: Where the churches outnumber the reasons to live.",
++      "From Vilnius? Let me guess, you work in a call center or a bar.",
++      "Vilnius: The only capital where UNESCO status can't cure depression.",
++      "Where 'nightlife' means drinking away Soviet memories.",
++      "Vilnius: Proof that being pretty doesn't make you happy.",
++      "From Vilnius? Your city's biggest achievement is being cheap for British stag parties.",
++    ],
++    kaunas: [
++      "Kaunas? Lithuania's second city that wishes it was first.",
++      "From Kaunas? How's being the temporary capital nobody remembers?",
++      "Kaunas: Where the interwar architecture is the only interesting thing.",
++      "Oh, Kaunas? The city that's just Vilnius without the tourists.",
++      "Kaunas: Where everyone's bitter about not being the capital anymore.",
++      "From Kaunas? Let me guess, you're a student or unemployed.",
++      "Kaunas: The only city where being European Capital of Culture was the peak.",
++      "Where 'culture' means whatever Vilnius didn't want.",
++      "Kaunas: Proof that being historical doesn't mean being relevant.",
++      "From Kaunas? Your city's biggest achievement was being capital for 20 years.",
++    ],
++  },
  };