`bc50e4b`

continue expanding roast database

Authored by mfwolffe <wolffemf@dukes.jmu.edu> 10 months ago

SHA: bc50e4b09d3ec9227f62e6c49d07fb62462596b4
Parents: cc14e81
Tree: 588bae0

1 changed file

Status	File	+	-
M	`src/data/roastDatabase.js`	90	0

src/data/roastDatabase.jsmodified

      ],
    },
 +  // NORTH DAKOTA
 +  northdakota: {
 +    generic: [
 +      "North Dakota? Where the oil boom went bust and took the last reason to be there.",
 +      "From North Dakota? How's living in America's Siberia?",
 +      "North Dakota: Where the population is so low, everyone's their own cousin.",
 +      "Oh, North Dakota? The state that makes South Dakota look tropical.",
 +      "North Dakota: Where -40° is both the temperature and the number of reasons to stay.",
 +      "From North Dakota? Let me guess, you work in oil or agriculture, the only two options.",
 +      "North Dakota: The only state where nuclear missiles outnumber people worth targeting.",
 +      "Where 'culture' is driving 3 hours to the nearest Olive Garden.",
 +      "North Dakota: Proof that just because land exists doesn't mean people should live there.",
 +      "From North Dakota? Your state's biggest export is people moving to Minnesota.",
 +      "North Dakota: Where the wind chill could kill you 8 months a year.",
 +      "The state that exists because maps looked weird with just one Dakota.",
 +      "North Dakota: America's storage unit for nuclear weapons and sadness.",
 +      "From North Dakota? You definitely have more guns than neighbors.",
 +      "North Dakota: Because someone had to make Alaska feel populated.",
 +    ],
 +    fargo: [
 +      "Fargo? The city famous for a movie that wasn't even filmed there.",
 +      "From Fargo? How's it feel being the capital of frozen nothingness?",
 +      "Fargo: Where the wood chipper scene is the most exciting thing associated with your city.",
 +      "Oh, Fargo? The city that's just Minneapolis's frozen, forgotten storage unit.",
 +      "Fargo: Where everyone talks like the movie but wishes they had that much excitement.",
 +      "From Fargo? Let me guess, you're quirky in that 'there's nothing else to do here' way.",
 +      "Fargo: The only city where negative temperatures last longer than relationships.",
 +      "Where 'nightlife' means drinking until you forget you live in Fargo.",
 +      "Fargo: Proof that colleges will put campuses literally anywhere.",
 +      "From Fargo? Your city's claim to fame is a Coen Brothers movie that mocked you.",
 +    ],
 +    bismarck: [
 +      "Bismarck? The capital that everyone forgets is the capital.",
 +      "From Bismarck? How's being North Dakota's attempt at having a government?",
 +      "Bismarck: Where state employees freeze to death slowly.",
 +      "Oh, Bismarck? The city that's just Fargo's boring government cousin.",
 +      "Bismarck: Where everyone's either in government or oil, equally soul-crushing.",
 +      "From Bismarck? Let me guess, you're counting days until retirement or death.",
 +      "Bismarck: The only capital where the river is more interesting than the city.",
 +      "Where 'culture' means the casino and chain restaurants.",
 +      "Bismarck: Proof that being a capital means nothing in North Dakota.",
 +      "From Bismarck? Your city's biggest achievement is not being as depressing as Minot.",
 +    ],
 +  },
++
 +  // SOUTH DAKOTA
 +  southdakota: {
 +    generic: [
 +      "South Dakota? Where Mount Rushmore is the only reason people know you exist.",
 +      "From South Dakota? How's living in North Dakota's slightly less depressing twin?",
 +      "South Dakota: Where the faces in the mountain have more personality than the residents.",
 +      "Oh, South Dakota? The state that tricked people into visiting with some carved rocks.",
 +      "South Dakota: Where Sturgis is the most culture you'll see all year.",
 +      "From South Dakota? Let me guess, you work in tourism three months a year and survive the other nine.",
 +      "South Dakota: The only state where bikers are considered cultural ambassadors.",
 +      "Where 'diversity' means people from different parts of nowhere.",
 +      "South Dakota: Proof that monuments can't make a state interesting.",
 +      "From South Dakota? Your state's biggest export is disappointment after seeing Mount Rushmore.",
 +      "South Dakota: Where the Badlands perfectly describe the whole state.",
 +      "The state that exists so motorcyclists have somewhere to congregate annually.",
 +      "South Dakota: America's drive-through museum.",
 +      "From South Dakota? You definitely have strong opinions about North Dakota like anyone cares.",
 +      "South Dakota: Because North Dakota needed to feel better about something.",
 +    ],
 +    sioux_falls: [
 +      "Sioux Falls? The city named after falling water in a state that's falling apart.",
 +      "From Sioux Falls? How's being the biggest city in America's emptiest state?",
 +      "Sioux Falls: Where the waterfalls are small and the ambitions are smaller.",
 +      "Oh, Sioux Falls? The city that's just a truck stop with delusions of grandeur.",
 +      "Sioux Falls: Where everyone's either in credit cards or agriculture, equally soul-crushing.",
 +      "From Sioux Falls? Let me guess, you're excited about that new chain restaurant opening.",
 +      "Sioux Falls: The only city where 'rush hour' is three cars at the same intersection.",
 +      "Where 'culture' means having both a mall AND a Walmart.",
 +      "Sioux Falls: Proof that waterfalls can't make a city interesting.",
 +      "From Sioux Falls? Your city's biggest achievement is being mentioned in credit card fine print.",
 +    ],
 +    rapid_city: [
 +      "Rapid City? Where tourists stop before seeing something actually interesting.",
 +      "From Rapid City? How's being Mount Rushmore's hotel district?",
 +      "Rapid City: Where everyone's in tourism or biker bars.",
 +      "Oh, Rapid City? The city that exists solely because tourists need somewhere to sleep.",
 +      "Rapid City: Where Sturgis brings culture once a year in leather form.",
 +      "From Rapid City? Let me guess, you work at a hotel or a gift shop.",
 +      "Rapid City: The only city where presidents' faces carved in rock overshadow everything.",
 +      "Where 'local culture' means whatever tourists want to buy.",
 +      "Rapid City: Proof that proximity to monuments doesn't make you monumental.",
 +      "From Rapid City? Your city is what happens when a rest stop gets ambitious.",
 +    ],
 +  },
++
    // CALIFORNIA (Expanded)
    california: {
      generic: [