`6e96f2f`

keep extending roast database

Authored by mfwolffe <wolffemf@dukes.jmu.edu> 10 months ago

SHA: 6e96f2fb6815242b1cc8c1d983441d0ae5f9e39a
Parents: 5b75027
Tree: 128d0fa

1 changed file

Status	File	+	-
M	`src/data/roastDatabase.js`	793	0

src/data/roastDatabase.jsmodified

        "Tennessee: Proof that you can have great music and terrible everything else.",
        "From Tennessee? Your state's shaped like a parallelogram because even geometry gave up.",
      ],
++    memphis: [
++      "Memphis? The city that peaked when Elvis died there.",
++      "From Memphis? How's it feel living in Tennessee's most dangerous tourist trap?",
++      "Memphis: Where Beale Street is the only street you won't get shot on.",
++      "Oh, Memphis? The city whose biggest attraction is a bass fishing pyramid.",
++      "Memphis: Where everyone claims they knew Elvis but nobody knows how to run a city.",
++      "From Memphis? Let me guess, you avoid downtown unless there's a Grizzlies game.",
++      "Memphis: The only city where BBQ can't mask the smell of decay.",
++      "Where 'culture' means choosing between Elvis tourism and crime statistics.",
++      "Memphis: Nashville's dangerous cousin with better food and worse everything else.",
++      "From Memphis? Your city killed Elvis and it's been downhill ever since.",
++    ],
      nashville: [
        "Nashville? Where every waiter is a 'singer-songwriter' with a SoundCloud no one follows.",
        "From Nashville? How's it feel living in country music's corporate headquarters?",
        "From India? You definitely have an uncle in New Jersey and opinions about Pakistan.",
        "India: Because someone had to make China's population look manageable.",
      ],
++    pune: [
++      "Pune? Where IT workers go when they can't afford Mumbai.",
++      "From Pune? How's being Mumbai's back office?",
++      "Pune: Where everyone's in IT but the infrastructure isn't.",
++      "Oh, Pune? The city that's just Mumbai's cheaper, boring cousin.",
++      "Pune: Where students come to study and never leave because they're stuck.",
++      "From Pune? Let me guess, you're in tech and traffic simultaneously.",
++      "Pune: The only city where 'Oxford' means a bookstore, not achievement.",
++      "Where 'culture' means whatever Mumbai didn't want.",
++      "Pune: Proof that being cheaper doesn't mean better.",
++      "From Pune? Your city's biggest achievement is being mentioned when Mumbai's too expensive.",
++    ],
++
++    ahmedabad: [
++      "Ahmedabad? Where Gandhi's ashram is the only peaceful place.",
++      "From Ahmedabad? How's that dry state treating your social life?",
++      "Ahmedabad: Where everyone's Gujarati first, Indian second, human third.",
++      "Oh, Ahmedabad? The city that's just Mumbai without fun.",
++      "Ahmedabad: Where business thrives but culture dies.",
++      "From Ahmedabad? Let me guess, you bootleg alcohol or judge those who do.",
++      "Ahmedabad: The only city where prohibition created more problems than it solved.",
++      "Where 'nightlife' is an oxymoron by law.",
++      "Ahmedabad: Proof that UNESCO status can't make you interesting.",
++      "From Ahmedabad? Your city's biggest achievement is making people appreciate alcohol.",
++    ],
++
++    jaipur: [
++      "Jaipur? Where everything's pink except the job prospects.",
++      "From Jaipur? How's living in Rajasthan's tourist trap?",
++      "Jaipur: Where everyone's selling gemstones or getting scammed by them.",
++      "Oh, Jaipur? The city that's just Delhi's colorful weekend trip.",
++      "Jaipur: Where the palaces are grand but the poverty is grander.",
++      "From Jaipur? Let me guess, you're in tourism or cursing tourists.",
++      "Jaipur: The only city where pink is mandatory but progress isn't.",
++      "Where 'culture' is performed hourly for tour buses.",
++      "Jaipur: Proof that royal history doesn't create royal living.",
++      "From Jaipur? Your city's biggest export is overpriced textiles and Instagram photos.",
++    ],
      mumbai: [
        "Mumbai? Where dreams come to die in traffic.",
        "From Mumbai? How's living in a city where slums have better views than apartments?",
        "From China? You definitely can't say what you really think about this.",
        "China: Because someone had to make 1984 look like a documentary.",
      ],
++
++    wuhan: [
++      "Wuhan? Where COVID started and jokes about it ended.",
++      "From Wuhan? How's being the world's most infamous wet market?",
++      "Wuhan: Where everyone pretends 2020 didn't happen.",
++      "Oh, Wuhan? The city that gave us lockdowns and lies.",
++      "Wuhan: Where the virus spread faster than the truth.",
++      "From Wuhan? Let me guess, you're tired of pandemic jokes.",
++      "Wuhan: The only city where 'going viral' isn't a good thing.",
++      "Where 'hot and dry noodles' are the only thing not controversial.",
++      "Wuhan: Proof that wet markets and cover-ups don't mix well.",
++      "From Wuhan? Your city's biggest achievement is making everyone learn the word 'coronavirus'.",
++    ],
++
++    xian: [
++      "Xi'an? Where terracotta warriors have more life than the economy.",
++      "From Xi'an? How's living in China's museum city?",
++      "Xi'an: Where everyone's selling tours to see clay soldiers.",
++      "Oh, Xi'an? The city that peaked during the Tang Dynasty.",
++      "Xi'an: Where the city wall is the most modern infrastructure.",
++      "From Xi'an? Let me guess, you work in tourism or wish tourists would leave.",
++      "Xi'an: The only city where dead emperors employ more than living ones.",
++      "Where 'development' means another hotel for tour groups.",
++      "Xi'an: Proof that historical significance doesn't pay modern bills.",
++      "From Xi'an? Your city's biggest export is photos of clay soldiers.",
++    ],
++
++    nanjing: [
++      "Nanjing? Where the history is darker than the air pollution.",
++      "From Nanjing? How's living in China's former capital that everyone forgot?",
++      "Nanjing: Where Japanese atrocities are remembered but current ones ignored.",
++      "Oh, Nanjing? The city that's just Shanghai's historical parking lot.",
++      "Nanjing: Where everyone's in education but nobody learns from history.",
++      "From Nanjing? Let me guess, you're explaining you used to be the capital.",
++      "Nanjing: The only city where being a former capital is the only achievement.",
++      "Where 'culture' means universities and unresolved trauma.",
++      "Nanjing: Proof that being historical doesn't mean being relevant.",
++      "From Nanjing? Your city's biggest achievement was 600 years ago.",
++    ],
      beijing: [
        "Beijing? Where the air is thicker than the Great Wall.",
        "From Beijing? How's living in a city where breathing is a luxury?",
        "From Luang Prabang? Your city's biggest achievement is being photogenic while poor.",
      ],
    },
++  // ALBANIA
++  albania: {
++    generic: [
++      "Albania? Where the bunkers outnumber the opportunities.",
++      "From Albania? How's being Europe's pyramid scheme capital?",
++      "Albania: Where everyone's either in construction or constructing a way out.",
++      "Oh, Albania? The country that's just Kosovo's poorer parent.",
++      "Albania: Where Mercedes density is inversely proportional to road quality.",
++      "From Albania? Let me guess, you're in Germany or building bunkers.",
++      "Albania: The only country where everyone drives a Mercedes but nobody has a job.",
++      "Where 'tourism' means Brits discovering you have beaches.",
++      "Albania: Proof that bunkers can't protect you from poverty.",
++      "From Albania? Your country's biggest export is construction workers and sworn virgins.",
++      "Albania: Where Skanderbeg is still the only hero 500 years later.",
++      "The country where everyone's an 'entrepreneur' selling the same things.",
++      "Albania: Where the mountains are high and the EU membership is distant.",
++      "From Albania? You definitely have a cousin in every European country.",
++      "Albania: Because someone had to make Kosovo look stable.",
++    ],
++    tirana: [
++      "Tirana? Where colorful buildings can't hide gray prospects.",
++      "From Tirana? How's living in Europe's most chaotic capital?",
++      "Tirana: Where everyone's mayor was an artist but the city's still ugly.",
++      "Oh, Tirana? The city that's just a parking lot with ambitions.",
++      "Tirana: Where bunkers became bars because what else would you do with them?",
++      "From Tirana? Let me guess, you're stuck in traffic caused by Mercedes with no license plates.",
++      "Tirana: The only capital where pyramid schemes were national policy.",
++      "Where 'urban planning' means painting buildings random colors.",
++      "Tirana: Proof that artistic mayors can't fix systemic problems.",
++      "From Tirana? Your city's biggest achievement is making Pristina look organized.",
++    ],
++  },
++
++  // BELARUS
++  belarus: {
++    generic: [
++      "Belarus? Europe's last dictatorship and first in denial.",
++      "From Belarus? How's that Soviet nostalgia working in 2025?",
++      "Belarus: Where the tractors are more advanced than the politics.",
++      "Oh, Belarus? The country that's just Russia's parking lot.",
++      "Belarus: Where protests are met with prison and prison with silence.",
++      "From Belarus? Let me guess, you're whispering this through a VPN.",
++      "Belarus: The only European country where the KGB kept its name.",
++      "Where 'election' means Lukashenko wins with 80% again.",
++      "Belarus: Proof that mustaches can rule for 30 years.",
++      "From Belarus? Your country's biggest export is IT workers fleeing to Poland.",
++      "Belarus: Where the opposition is in jail or exile, no exceptions.",
++      "The country where potatoes have more variety than political parties.",
++      "Belarus: Where everyone's learning Polish for 'tourism'.",
++      "From Belarus? You definitely have relatives who 'disappeared'.",
++      "Belarus: Because someone had to make Russia look democratic.",
++    ],
++    minsk: [
++      "Minsk? Where Soviet architecture meets Soviet mentality.",
++      "From Minsk? How's living in Europe's largest open-air prison?",
++      "Minsk: Where the streets are wide and the minds are narrow.",
++      "Oh, Minsk? The city that Stalin would still recognize.",
++      "Minsk: Where everyone's in IT until the KGB visits.",
++      "From Minsk? Let me guess, you're coding your way to Warsaw.",
++      "Minsk: The only capital where the metro was built for protests, not transport.",
++      "Where 'nightlife' ends when the militia arrives.",
++      "Minsk: Proof that you can rebuild a city but not its freedom.",
++      "From Minsk? Your city's biggest achievement is having faster internet than democracy.",
++    ],
++  },
++
++  // MOLDOVA
++  moldova: {
++    generic: [
++      "Moldova? Europe's poorest country and wine can't fix it.",
++      "From Moldova? How's being Romania's abandoned twin?",
++      "Moldova: Where everyone's granny makes wine but nobody makes money.",
++      "Oh, Moldova? The country that's just a buffer zone with vineyards.",
++      "Moldova: Where the population is shrinking faster than the economy.",
++      "From Moldova? Let me guess, you're in Italy or planning the trip.",
++      "Moldova: The only country where remittances are the GDP.",
++      "Where 'development' means another generation leaving.",
++      "Moldova: Proof that good wine can't cure post-Soviet syndrome.",
++      "From Moldova? Your country's biggest export is nurses to Italy and depression.",
++      "Moldova: Where Transnistria is more stable than the actual country.",
++      "The country where everyone has EU passports but not EU membership.",
++      "Moldova: Where corruption is the only functioning system.",
++      "From Moldova? You definitely have more family abroad than at home.",
++      "Moldova: Because someone had to be Europe's forgotten corner.",
++    ],
++    chisinau: [
++      "Chișinău? Where Soviet blocks block any hope of progress.",
++      "From Chișinău? How's living in Europe's most depressing capital?",
++      "Chișinău: Where the wine is good but the wages are insulting.",
++      "Oh, Chișinău? The city that's just Bucharest's poorest suburb.",
++      "Chișinău: Where everyone's learning Romanian to claim they're not Russian.",
++      "From Chișinău? Let me guess, your taxi driver has a PhD.",
++      "Chișinău: The only capital where the parks are nicer than the prospects.",
++      "Where 'culture' means whatever survived Sovietization.",
++      "Chișinău: Proof that being a capital doesn't mean having capital.",
++      "From Chișinău? Your city's biggest achievement is being between Romania and nowhere.",
++    ],
++  },
++
++  // NORTH MACEDONIA
++  northmacedonia: {
++    generic: [
++      "North Macedonia? Where adding 'North' didn't add opportunities.",
++      "From North Macedonia? How's that name change working for EU membership?",
++      "North Macedonia: Where Alexander the Great is claimed but greatness isn't.",
++      "Oh, North Macedonia? The country that's just Greece's naming dispute casualty.",
++      "North Macedonia: Where everyone's arguing about history instead of building a future.",
++      "From North Macedonia? Let me guess, you're tired of explaining you're not Greek.",
++      "North Macedonia: The only country where statues outnumber job opportunities.",
++      "Where 'identity' matters more than economy.",
++      "North Macedonia: Proof that changing names doesn't change problems.",
++      "From North Macedonia? Your country's biggest export is naming controversies and young people.",
++      "North Macedonia: Where the monuments are ancient but the country is 30.",
++      "The country where everyone's Macedonian until Greece complains.",
++      "North Macedonia: Where EU membership is always 'next year'.",
++      "From North Macedonia? You definitely have strong opinions about Alexander nobody asked for.",
++      "North Macedonia: Because someone had to make Albania look stable.",
++    ],
++    skopje: [
++      "Skopje? Where fake ancient statues meet real modern problems.",
++      "From Skopje? How's living in a city that looks like a history theme park?",
++      "Skopje: Where the earthquake did better urban planning than the government.",
++      "Oh, Skopje? The city that spent millions on statues instead of jobs.",
++      "Skopje: Where everyone's Alexander the Great except in employment.",
++      "From Skopje? Let me guess, you're embarrassed by those kitsch statues.",
++      "Skopje: The only capital where the bridge has more lights than ideas.",
++      "Where 'culture' means plaster statues of disputed history.",
++      "Skopje: Proof that you can't build identity with concrete.",
++      "From Skopje? Your city's biggest achievement is making Tirana look tasteful.",
++    ],
++  },
++
++  // KOSOVO
++  kosovo: {
++    generic: [
++      "Kosovo? The country that exists depending on who you ask.",
++      "From Kosovo? How's that limited recognition treating your passport?",
++      "Kosovo: Where independence is disputed but poverty isn't.",
++      "Oh, Kosovo? The country that's just Serbia's biggest trigger.",
++      "Kosovo: Where everyone's youngest in Europe because they can't leave.",
++      "From Kosovo? Let me guess, you're explaining your complicated status again.",
++      "Kosovo: The only country where your passport works in fewer places than you.",
++      "Where 'development' depends on recognizing you exist first.",
++      "Kosovo: Proof that independence doesn't guarantee prosperity.",
++      "From Kosovo? Your country's biggest export is asylum seekers and diplomatic headaches.",
++      "Kosovo: Where the flag has more stars than international recognition.",
++      "The country where everyone's Albanian but the Serbs disagree.",
++      "Kosovo: Where EU membership requires existing first.",
++      "From Kosovo? You definitely have visa stories nobody wants to hear.",
++      "Kosovo: Because someone had to make Palestine's recognition look good.",
++    ],
++    pristina: [
++      "Pristina? Where Mother Teresa is the only thing older than 20 years.",
++      "From Pristina? How's living in Europe's youngest, poorest capital?",
++      "Pristina: Where everyone's 25 because anyone older left already.",
++      "Oh, Pristina? The city that's just concrete and cafes.",
++      "Pristina: Where the nightlife is better than the daylife prospects.",
++      "From Pristina? Let me guess, you're in a cafe discussing visa applications.",
++      "Pristina: The only capital where newborn monuments celebrate existing.",
++      "Where 'history' started in 2008.",
++      "Pristina: Proof that being young doesn't mean being vibrant.",
++      "From Pristina? Your city's biggest achievement is having more cafes than jobs.",
++    ],
++  },
++  // SENEGAL
++  senegal: {
++    generic: [
++      "Senegal? Where French colonialism left but the French language stayed in charge.",
++      "From Senegal? How's being West Africa's 'stable' country with unstable electricity?",
++      "Senegal: Where everyone's a philosopher because thinking is free but food isn't.",
++      "Oh, Senegal? The country that's just Mauritania's more democratic neighbor.",
++      "Senegal: Where teranga hospitality can't host economic development.",
++      "From Senegal? Let me guess, you're in France or fishing.",
++      "Senegal: The only country where wrestling is bigger than the economy.",
++      "Where 'democracy' works but nothing else does.",
++      "Senegal: Proof that stability doesn't equal prosperity in Africa.",
++      "From Senegal? Your country's biggest export is musicians and migrants to Europe.",
++    ],
++    dakar: [
++      "Dakar? Where the Rally used to end and hope still hasn't started.",
++      "From Dakar? How's living on a peninsula of broken promises?",
++      "Dakar: Where everyone's hustling because formal employment is a myth.",
++      "Oh, Dakar? The city that's just Paris's poorest, hottest suburb.",
++      "Dakar: Where the ocean is beautiful but you can't eat views.",
++      "From Dakar? Let me guess, you're in informal economy or informally unemployed.",
++      "Dakar: The only capital where traffic is caused by no actual movement.",
++      "Where 'development' means another mall for the elite.",
++      "Dakar: Proof that being coastal doesn't guarantee catches.",
++      "From Dakar? Your city's biggest achievement is hosting a rally that left for safety reasons.",
++    ],
++  },
++
++  // RWANDA
++  rwanda: {
++    generic: [
++      "Rwanda? Where the genocide memorial is cleaner than the human rights record.",
++      "From Rwanda? How's that benevolent dictatorship treating free speech?",
++      "Rwanda: Where everyone's unified because dissent means disappearance.",
++      "Oh, Rwanda? The country that's just Africa's Singapore minus the wealth.",
++      "Rwanda: Where the streets are clean but the politics are dirty.",
++      "From Rwanda? Let me guess, you're praising Kagame or staying quiet.",
++      "Rwanda: The only country where genocide recovery means authoritarian efficiency.",
++      "Where 'vision 2020' became vision 2050 when 2020 arrived.",
++      "Rwanda: Proof that trauma doesn't heal with force.",
++      "From Rwanda? Your country's biggest export is guilt-based tourism and coffee.",
++    ],
++    kigali: [
++      "Kigali? Where the hills are green and the surveillance is greener.",
++      "From Kigali? How's living in Africa's cleanest police state?",
++      "Kigali: Where littering gets more punishment than corruption.",
++      "Oh, Kigali? The city that's just Wakanda if Wakanda was authoritarian.",
++      "Kigali: Where everyone's an entrepreneur because the government owns everything else.",
++      "From Kigali? Let me guess, you're in tech or tourism or staying quiet.",
++      "Kigali: The only capital where plastic bags are more illegal than dissent.",
++      "Where 'cleanliness' is godliness and Kagame is god.",
++      "Kigali: Proof that clean streets don't mean clean governance.",
++      "From Kigali? Your city's biggest achievement is making people forget it's a dictatorship.",
++    ],
++  },
++
++  // DEMOCRATIC REPUBLIC OF CONGO
++  drc: {
++    generic: [
++      "DRC? Where the minerals are rich but the people are poorer than dirt.",
++      "From DRC? How's having every resource except a functional government?",
++      "Congo: Where your phone's cobalt comes from child labor.",
++      "Oh, DRC? The country that's just a mine with a flag.",
++      "DRC: Where corruption is so endemic it's basically culture.",
++      "From DRC? Let me guess, you're fleeing or already fled.",
++      "DRC: The only country where rape is a weapon and resources are a curse.",
++      "Where 'development' means another Chinese mining contract.",
++      "DRC: Proof that resources guarantee nothing but conflict.",
++      "From DRC? Your country's biggest export is minerals and misery.",
++    ],
++    kinshasa: [
++      "Kinshasa? Where 15 million people pretend there's a government.",
++      "From Kinshasa? How's living in Africa's most chaotic megacity?",
++      "Kinshasa: Where the sapeurs dress better than the infrastructure.",
++      "Oh, Kinshasa? The city that's just Brazzaville's louder, larger twin.",
++      "Kinshasa: Where music is the only thing that functions properly.",
++      "From Kinshasa? Let me guess, you're in the informal economy like everyone else.",
++      "Kinshasa: The only capital where traffic police cause more problems than solve.",
++      "Where 'development' is a word only NGOs use.",
++      "Kinshasa: Proof that megacities can exist without planning.",
++      "From Kinshasa? Your city's biggest achievement is functioning without a government.",
++    ],
++  },
++  // SUDAN
++  sudan: {
++    generic: [
++      "Sudan? Where the government kills more people than the civil wars.",
++      "From Sudan? How's that split country working out for both halves?",
++      "Sudan: Where genocide is state policy but the state denies everything.",
++      "Oh, Sudan? The country that lost its oil and found more war.",
++      "Sudan: Where everyone's fleeing to Libya which says everything.",
++      "From Sudan? Let me guess, you're in Egypt or trying to get there.",
++      "Sudan: The only country where Darfur became a verb for ignorance.",
++      "Where 'peace agreement' means preparing for the next conflict.",
++      "Sudan: Proof that splitting countries doesn't split problems.",
++      "From Sudan? Your country's biggest export is refugees and regret.",
++    ],
++    khartoum: [
++      "Khartoum? Where the Niles meet but peace doesn't.",
++      "From Khartoum? How's living where coup attempts are weather events?",
++      "Khartoum: Where the desert is less harsh than the government.",
++      "Oh, Khartoum? The city that's just dust and dictatorship.",
++      "Khartoum: Where everyone's planning their escape route.",
++      "From Khartoum? Let me guess, you're keeping your head down and passport ready.",
++      "Khartoum: The only capital where the confluence is more stable than governance.",
++      "Where 'development' stopped with the British.",
++      "Khartoum: Proof that two rivers can't wash away oppression.",
++      "From Khartoum? Your city's biggest achievement is surviving another day.",
++    ],
++  },
++
++  // SOMALIA
++  somalia: {
++    generic: [
++      "Somalia? Where 'failed state' is an optimistic description.",
++      "From Somalia? How's that anarchy with a flag working out?",
++      "Somalia: Where pirates have better organization than the government.",
++      "Oh, Somalia? The country that's just a warning to others.",
++      "Somalia: Where everyone's clan matters more than the nation.",
++      "From Somalia? Let me guess, you're in Nairobi or Minneapolis.",
++      "Somalia: The only country where the diaspora outnumbers the population.",
++      "Where 'government' controls about three blocks.",
++      "Somalia: Proof that some things can't be fixed.",
++      "From Somalia? Your country's biggest export is refugees and piracy stories.",
++    ],
++    mogadishu: [
++      "Mogadishu? Where the beach is beautiful but you'll die trying to see it.",
++      "From Mogadishu? How's living in the world's longest-running battle royale?",
++      "Mogadishu: Where everyone's armed because the government isn't.",
++      "Oh, Mogadishu? The city that makes Kabul look stable.",
++      "Mogadishu: Where Turkish aid is the only thing that works.",
++      "From Mogadishu? Let me guess, you're not actually there anymore.",
++      "Mogadishu: The only capital where the airport is the safest place.",
++      "Where 'reconstruction' means clearing yesterday's rubble.",
++      "Mogadishu: Proof that some cities die but refuse burial.",
++      "From Mogadishu? Your city's biggest achievement is still having residents.",
++    ],
++  },
++
++  // CAMEROON
++  cameroon: {
++    generic: [
++      "Cameroon? Where speaking English or French can get you killed.",
++      "From Cameroon? How's that bilingual civil war treating you?",
++      "Cameroon: Where Paul Biya has been president since the Jurassic.",
++      "Oh, Cameroon? The country that's just Nigeria's quieter neighbor.",
++      "Cameroon: Where Indomitable Lions play football but the economy is very domitable.",
++      "From Cameroon? Let me guess, you're avoiding the Anglophone regions.",
++      "Cameroon: The only country where linguistic diversity means civil conflict.",
++      "Where 'unity' is a word on the flag only.",
++      "Cameroon: Proof that colonial borders create modern problems.",
++      "From Cameroon? Your country's biggest export is footballers and frustration.",
++    ],
++    yaounde: [
++      "Yaoundé? Where the hills are seven and the opportunities are zero.",
++      "From Yaoundé? How's living in a capital built on corruption?",
++      "Yaoundé: Where government workers pretend to work and get pretend pay.",
++      "Oh, Yaoundé? The city that's just Douala's boring administrative brother.",
++      "Yaoundé: Where everyone's waiting for Biya to die.",
++      "From Yaoundé? Let me guess, you're in government or wishing you weren't.",
++      "Yaoundé: The only capital where the presidential palace is the only maintained building.",
++      "Where 'development' means another minister's mansion.",
++      "Yaoundé: Proof that being central doesn't mean being important.",
++      "From Yaoundé? Your city's biggest achievement is hosting a government that doesn't govern.",
++    ],
++    douala: [
++      "Douala? Where the humidity is thicker than the corruption.",
++      "From Douala? How's living in Cameroon's economic capital with no economy?",
++      "Douala: Where the port works better than everything else combined.",
++      "Oh, Douala? The city that's just Lagos's less successful francophone cousin.",
++      "Douala: Where everyone's hustling because formal jobs are myths.",
++      "From Douala? Let me guess, you're in import/export or unemployment.",
++      "Douala: The only city where the rain floods everything except corruption.",
++      "Where 'business' means navigating bribes.",
++      "Douala: Proof that ports don't automatically create prosperity.",
++      "From Douala? Your city's biggest export is complaint letters to Yaoundé.",
++    ],
++  },
++
++  // ANGOLA
++  angola: {
++    generic: [
++      "Angola? Where oil wealth and poverty had a baby called corruption.",
++      "From Angola? How's being Portugal's abandoned child with oil?",
++      "Angola: Where the president's daughter was Africa's richest woman, suspiciously.",
++      "Oh, Angola? The country that's just a gas station run by kleptocrats.",
++      "Angola: Where landmines outnumber opportunities.",
++      "From Angola? Let me guess, you're not seeing any of that oil money.",
++      "Angola: The only country where Portuguese is spoken with tears.",
++      "Where 'reconstruction' enriches the same families.",
++      "Angola: Proof that oil is a curse disguised as blessing.",
++      "From Angola? Your country's biggest export is oil and Isabel dos Santos memes.",
++    ],
++    luanda: [
++      "Luanda? The most expensive city for expats, cheapest for human life.",
++      "From Luanda? How's paying Dubai prices for Lagos quality?",
++      "Luanda: Where a beer costs $20 but life is worth less.",
++      "Oh, Luanda? The city that's just an oil rig with slums attached.",
++      "Luanda: Where the waterfront is for the wealthy and everyone else drowns.",
++      "From Luanda? Let me guess, you're in oil or serving those in oil.",
++      "Luanda: The only capital where poverty has an ocean view.",
++      "Where 'development' means another tower for the elite.",
++      "Luanda: Proof that oil money doesn't trickle down.",
++      "From Luanda? Your city's biggest achievement is being expensive for no reason.",
++    ],
++  },
++
++  // MOZAMBIQUE
++  mozambique: {
++    generic: [
++      "Mozambique? Where the cyclones are more predictable than the government.",
++      "From Mozambique? How's that post-civil war recovery 30 years later?",
++      "Mozambique: Where the beaches are pristine because the economy keeps people away.",
++      "Oh, Mozambique? The country that's just South Africa's poorer neighbor.",
++      "Mozambique: Where gas discoveries mean more corruption, not development.",
++      "From Mozambique? Let me guess, you're affected by insurgency or poverty or both.",
++      "Mozambique: The only country where prawns are the most successful export.",
++      "Where 'development' means another loan from China.",
++      "Mozambique: Proof that coastlines don't guarantee prosperity.",
++      "From Mozambique? Your country's biggest export is workers to South African mines.",
++    ],
++    maputo: [
++      "Maputo? Where colonial architecture crumbles like the economy.",
++      "From Maputo? How's living in Africa's most forgotten capital?",
++      "Maputo: Where everyone speaks Portuguese but thinks in poverty.",
++      "Oh, Maputo? The city that's just Johannesburg's beach house.",
++      "Maputo: Where the port ships out hope with the aluminum.",
++      "From Maputo? Let me guess, you're planning your move to South Africa.",
++      "Maputo: The only capital where the train station is the nicest building.",
++      "Where 'nightlife' happens in South African-owned bars.",
++      "Maputo: Proof that being coastal doesn't create wealth.",
++      "From Maputo? Your city's biggest achievement is being close to South Africa.",
++    ],
++  },
++
++  // BOTSWANA
++  botswana: {
++    generic: [
++      "Botswana? Where diamonds are forever but water is scarce.",
++      "From Botswana? How's being Africa's success story nobody knows about?",
++      "Botswana: Where everyone's peaceful because they're too spread out to fight.",
++      "Oh, Botswana? The country that's just Namibia's richer sibling.",
++      "Botswana: Where the elephants outnumber job opportunities.",
++      "From Botswana? Let me guess, you work in diamonds or government.",
++      "Botswana: The only country where being landlocked and dry is a personality.",
++      "Where 'diversity' means different types of desert.",
++      "Botswana: Proof that diamonds don't solve everything.",
++      "From Botswana? Your country's biggest export is diamonds and boredom.",
++    ],
++    gaborone: [
++      "Gaborone? Where the capital is as exciting as its name.",
++      "From Gaborone? How's living in Africa's most planned boredom?",
++      "Gaborone: Where everyone knows everyone unfortunately.",
++      "Oh, Gaborone? The city that's just a large village with traffic lights.",
++      "Gaborone: Where the mall is the cultural center.",
++      "From Gaborone? Let me guess, you're at Riverwalk because where else?",
++      "Gaborone: The only capital where cows have right of way.",
++      "Where 'nightlife' means the mall stays open until 9.",
++      "Gaborone: Proof that stability can be stable-y boring.",
++      "From Gaborone? Your city's biggest achievement is not being interesting enough for problems.",
++    ],
++  },
++
++  // KYRGYZSTAN
++  kyrgyzstan: {
++    generic: [
++      "Kyrgyzstan? Where revolutions are more common than job opportunities.",
++      "From Kyrgyzstan? How's that democracy working with clan politics?",
++      "Kyrgyzstan: Where the mountains are high but the GDP is underground.",
++      "Oh, Kyrgyzstan? The country that's just Kazakhstan's poorer, prettier sibling.",
++      "Kyrgyzstan: Where everyone's a nomad because there's nowhere worth staying.",
++      "From Kyrgyzstan? Let me guess, you're in Russia sending money home.",
++      "Kyrgyzstan: The only country where bride kidnapping is still a thing.",
++      "Where 'stability' lasts until the next revolution.",
++      "Kyrgyzstan: Proof that mountains can't feed families.",
++      "From Kyrgyzstan? Your country's biggest export is migrant workers and political instability.",
++    ],
++    bishkek: [
++      "Bishkek? Where Soviet architecture meets Central Asian chaos.",
++      "From Bishkek? How's living in a capital that changes governments seasonally?",
++      "Bishkek: Where everyone's protesting something or planning to.",
++      "Oh, Bishkek? The city that's just Almaty's much poorer cousin.",
++      "Bishkek: Where the bazaar is more organized than the government.",
++      "From Bishkek? Let me guess, you're learning Russian to work in Moscow.",
++      "Bishkek: The only capital where revolution is a spectator sport.",
++      "Where 'development' means another Chinese loan project.",
++      "Bishkek: Proof that being a capital doesn't mean having control.",
++      "From Bishkek? Your city's biggest achievement is surviving another year without revolution.",
++    ],
++  },
++
++  // TAJIKISTAN
++  tajikistan: {
++    generic: [
++      "Tajikistan? Where the mountains are higher than the literacy rate.",
++      "From Tajikistan? How's that president-for-life treating development?",
++      "Tajikistan: Where remittances from Russia are the entire economy.",
++      "Oh, Tajikistan? The country that's just Afghanistan's slightly stabler neighbor.",
++      "Tajikistan: Where everyone's in Russia because there's nothing at home.",
++      "From Tajikistan? Let me guess, your family survives on Moscow money.",
++      "Tajikistan: The only country where the president's son is a mayor at 29.",
++      "Where 'economy' means whatever Russia sends back.",
++      "Tajikistan: Proof that mountains can't replace an economy.",
++      "From Tajikistan? Your country's biggest export is laborers and Islamic extremism fears.",
++    ],
++    dushanbe: [
++      "Dushanbe? Where Monday is the most interesting thing about it.",
++      "From Dushanbe? How's living in a capital with more statues than jobs?",
++      "Dushanbe: Where the president's palace is nicer than the entire economy.",
++      "Oh, Dushanbe? The city that's just a monument to one man's ego.",
++      "Dushanbe: Where everyone young is in Moscow.",
++      "From Dushanbe? Let me guess, you're watching giant flagpoles instead of development.",
++      "Dushanbe: The only capital where the world's tallest flagpole is an achievement.",
++      "Where 'culture' means whatever the president approves.",
++      "Dushanbe: Proof that flagpoles don't create jobs.",
++      "From Dushanbe? Your city's biggest achievement is being slightly better than the villages.",
++    ],
++  },
++
++  // TURKMENISTAN
++  turkmenistan: {
++    generic: [
++      "Turkmenistan? Where North Korea went for dictatorship lessons.",
++      "From Turkmenistan? How did you even get internet to read this?",
++      "Turkmenistan: Where the president is crazier than the desert heat.",
++      "Oh, Turkmenistan? The country that's just Central Asia's hermit kingdom.",
++      "Turkmenistan: Where gas wealth funds marble cities nobody lives in.",
++      "From Turkmenistan? Let me guess, you're not actually there.",
++      "Turkmenistan: The only country where renaming months after your mother is normal.",
++      "Where 'development' means another golden statue of the president.",
++      "Turkmenistan: Proof that gas money can't buy sanity.",
++      "From Turkmenistan? Your country's biggest export is natural gas and unnatural leadership.",
++    ],
++    ashgabat: [
++      "Ashgabat? Where white marble can't hide the totalitarian darkness.",
++      "From Ashgabat? How's living in the world's emptiest marble city?",
++      "Ashgabat: Where buildings are white and the government is black-hearted.",
++      "Oh, Ashgabat? The city that's just Pyongyang with more marble.",
++      "Ashgabat: Where everyone's acting normal while everything's insane.",
++      "From Ashgabat? Let me guess, you're praising the president or in prison.",
++      "Ashgabat: The only capital where gold statues rotate to face the sun.",
++      "Where 'city planning' means whatever fever dream the president had.",
++      "Ashgabat: Proof that marble cities can be prisons.",
++      "From Ashgabat? Your city's biggest achievement is being in the Guinness Book for most marble.",
++    ],
++  },
++  // SAINT LUCIA
++  saintlucia: {
++    generic: [
++      "Saint Lucia? Where the Pitons are the only things standing tall.",
++      "From Saint Lucia? How's watching cruise ships dump tourists on your poverty?",
++      "Saint Lucia: Where everyone's in tourism or wishing hurricanes would end it.",
++      "Oh, Saint Lucia? The island that's just Martinique's less French twin.",
++      "Saint Lucia: Where bananas failed so now it's all about tourist dollars.",
++      "From Saint Lucia? Let me guess, you work in hotels or have family abroad.",
++      "Saint Lucia: The only country where twin peaks are the entire identity.",
++      "Where 'development' means another resort foreign-owned.",
++      "Saint Lucia: Proof that beauty can't feed a nation.",
++      "From Saint Lucia? Your island's biggest export is nurses to the UK and pictures to Instagram.",
++    ],
++    castries: [
++      "Castries? Where cruise ships matter more than citizens.",
++      "From Castries? How's living in a capital that exists for duty-free shopping?",
++      "Castries: Where the market is more organized than the government.",
++      "Oh, Castries? The city that's just a port with ambitions.",
++      "Castries: Where fires did better urban planning than politicians.",
++      "From Castries? Let me guess, you avoid downtown on cruise ship days.",
++      "Castries: The only capital where tourists outnumber locals daily.",
++      "Where 'development' means another jewelry store.",
++      "Castries: Proof that ports don't automatically create prosperity.",
++      "From Castries? Your city's biggest achievement is surviving between hurricanes.",
++    ],
++  },
++
++  // ANTIGUA AND BARBUDA
++  antiguaandbarbuda: {
++    generic: [
++      "Antigua and Barbuda? Where 365 beaches can't provide 365 jobs.",
++      "From Antigua? How's being everyone's hurricane season backup vacation?",
++      "Antigua: Where Stanford's pyramid scheme was the biggest employer.",
++      "Oh, Antigua? The island that's just a cricket ground with beaches.",
++      "Antigua: Where everyone's family has someone cleaning hotels abroad.",
++      "From Antigua? Let me guess, you're in tourism or government corruption.",
++      "Antigua: The only country where citizenship is for sale like everything else.",
++      "Where 'development' means another hotel owned by foreigners.",
++      "Antigua: Proof that beaches alone don't build economies.",
++      "From Antigua? Your country's biggest export is passports to criminals.",
++    ],
++    stjohns: [
++      "St. John's? Where colonial architecture is crumbling like the economy.",
++      "From St. John's? How's living in a capital smaller than most towns?",
++      "St. John's: Where the cathedral is the tallest building and highest ambition.",
++      "Oh, St. John's? The city that's just a cruise ship toilet.",
++      "St. John's: Where everyone knows everyone's business unfortunately.",
++      "From St. John's? Let me guess, you're related to half the government.",
++      "St. John's: The only capital where parliament fits in a living room.",
++      "Where 'rush hour' is five cars at the same roundabout.",
++      "St. John's: Proof that being a capital doesn't require size or significance.",
++      "From St. John's? Your city's biggest achievement is having a traffic light.",
++    ],
++  },
++
++  // GRENADA
++  grenada: {
++    generic: [
++      "Grenada? Where the US invasion is still the most exciting thing that happened.",
++      "From Grenada? How's being the spice island with no flavor?",
++      "Grenada: Where nutmeg is more valuable than the government.",
++      "Oh, Grenada? The island that's just Trinidad's forgotten cousin.",
++      "Grenada: Where everyone's explaining they're not Granada, Spain.",
++      "From Grenada? Let me guess, medical school or tourism, the only options.",
++      "Grenada: The only country where a medical school is the biggest employer.",
++      "Where 'revolution' failed so spectacularly the US had to intervene.",
++      "Grenada: Proof that being invaded by America doesn't guarantee development.",
++      "From Grenada? Your island's biggest export is failed medical students and nutmeg.",
++    ],
++    stgeorges: [
++      "St. George's? Where the harbor is prettier than the prospects.",
++      "From St. George's? How's living in a capital built on a volcanic crater?",
++      "St. George's: Where cruise ships dock but development doesn't.",
++      "Oh, St. George's? The city that's just a medical school with a port.",
++      "St. George's: Where everyone's selling spices nobody buys.",
++      "From St. George's? Let me guess, you're avoiding cruise ship days.",
++      "St. George's: The only capital where the fort has a better view than future.",
++      "Where 'planning' ended with the colonial era.",
++      "St. George's: Proof that picturesque doesn't mean prosperous.",
++      "From St. George's? Your city's biggest achievement is looking good in postcards.",
++    ],
++  },
++  // BHUTAN
++  bhutan: {
++    generic: [
++      "Bhutan? Where happiness is mandatory but jobs are optional.",
++      "From Bhutan? How's that Gross National Happiness compensating for gross lack of opportunity?",
++      "Bhutan: Where everyone's Buddhist but the economy needs more than prayers.",
++      "Oh, Bhutan? The country that's just Tibet's franchise under different management.",
++      "Bhutan: Where tourism is limited because too many people would ruin the illusion.",
++      "From Bhutan? Let me guess, you're in government or hydropower or leaving.",
++      "Bhutan: The only country measuring happiness while youth flee to Australia.",
++      "Where 'carbon negative' is positive but employment is negative.",
++      "Bhutan: Proof that mountains and monarchy don't make modernity.",
++      "From Bhutan? Your country's biggest export is hydropower and Instagram enlightenment.",
++    ],
++    thimphu: [
++      "Thimphu? Where traffic lights were too modern so they use hand signals.",
++      "From Thimphu? How's living in the world's only capital without traffic lights?",
++      "Thimphu: Where everyone's happy by decree but unemployed by reality.",
++      "Oh, Thimphu? The capital that's just a large village with a dzong.",
++      "Thimphu: Where the dress code is stricter than the job market.",
++      "From Thimphu? Let me guess, you work for the government or wish you could leave.",
++      "Thimphu: The only capital where archery is rush hour entertainment.",
++      "Where 'modern' means having internet sometimes.",
++      "Thimphu: Proof that being quaint doesn't pay bills.",
++      "From Thimphu? Your city's biggest achievement is convincing tourists happiness is mandatory.",
++    ],
++  },
++
++  // MALDIVES
++  maldives: {
++    generic: [
++      "Maldives? Where the sea level rise is racing the democracy decline.",
++      "From Maldives? How's living in paradise if paradise is sinking?",
++      "Maldives: Where tourists stay in water villas while locals drown in debt.",
++      "Oh, Maldives? The country that's just a resort chain with a flag.",
++      "Maldives: Where everyone's Muslim but the resorts serve alcohol to pay bills.",
++      "From Maldives? Let me guess, you're in tourism or fishing or both.",
++      "Maldives: The only country planning to relocate when it goes underwater.",
++      "Where 'development' means another Chinese debt trap resort.",
++      "Maldives: Proof that paradise has an expiration date.",
++      "From Maldives? Your country's biggest export is honeymoon photos and climate refugees.",
++    ],
++    male: [
++      "Malé? Where 200,000 people squeeze onto 2 square miles of mistakes.",
++      "From Malé? How's living in the world's most densely packed sinking ship?",
++      "Malé: Where everyone's on top of each other literally and economically.",
++      "Oh, Malé? The capital that's just concrete on a coral reef.",
++      "Malé: Where the garbage island is bigger than some inhabited islands.",
++      "From Malé? Let me guess, you dream of space and dry land.",
++      "Malé: The only capital where expansion means reclaiming sea that's reclaiming you.",
++      "Where 'city planning' is a joke told underwater.",
++      "Malé: Proof that density doesn't create prosperity.",
++      "From Malé? Your city's biggest achievement is not sinking yet.",
++    ],
++  },
++
++  // BRUNEI
++  brunei: {
++    generic: [
++      "Brunei? Where the Sultan owns everything including your future.",
++      "From Brunei? How's that Sharia law working with your oil dependency?",
++      "Brunei: Where everyone's rich on paper but boring in practice.",
++      "Oh, Brunei? The country that's just the Sultan's personal gas station.",
++      "Brunei: Where alcohol is illegal but hypocrisy flows freely.",
++      "From Brunei? Let me guess, you work for the government (aka the Sultan).",
++      "Brunei: The only country where stone gay people but rely on foreign talent.",
++      "Where 'diversity' means different ways to serve the royal family.",
++      "Brunei: Proof that oil wealth can't buy a real economy.",
++      "From Brunei? Your country's biggest export is oil and LGBT refugees.",
++    ],
++    bandar_seri_begawan: [
++      "Bandar Seri Begawan? Where the mosque is golden but the opportunities aren't.",
++      "From BSB? How's living in a capital that sleeps at 6 PM?",
++      "BSB: Where the Sultan's palace has more rooms than the city has entertainment.",
++      "Oh, BSB? The city that's just a mosque, a mall, and monarchy.",
++      "BSB: Where everyone's either related to royalty or serving them.",
++      "From BSB? Let me guess, you drive to Malaysia for actual fun.",
++      "BSB: The only capital where the water village is more interesting than downtown.",
++      "Where 'nightlife' is literally non-existent.",
++      "BSB: Proof that golden domes don't create golden opportunities.",
++      "From BSB? Your city's biggest achievement is making Kuala Lumpur look exciting.",
++    ],
++  },
++
++  // EAST TIMOR / TIMOR-LESTE
++  easttimor: {
++    generic: [
++      "East Timor? Where independence came with poverty as a package deal.",
++      "From Timor-Leste? How's being Southeast Asia's youngest, poorest nation?",
++      "East Timor: Where the oil fund is depleting faster than hope.",
++      "Oh, East Timor? The country that's just Indonesia's abused ex.",
++      "East Timor: Where everyone speaks four languages but can't speak prosperity.",
++      "From East Timor? Let me guess, you're in government or an NGO.",
++      "East Timor: The only country where the UN left and took the economy.",
++      "Where 'development' depends on how long the oil lasts.",
++      "East Timor: Proof that independence doesn't automatically mean success.",
++      "From East Timor? Your country's biggest export is coffee and unfulfilled potential.",
++    ],
++    dili: [
++      "Dili? Where the beach is nice but the infrastructure is frightening.",
++      "From Dili? How's living in a capital that feels like a construction site?",
++      "Dili: Where UN money left and nothing replaced it.",
++      "Oh, Dili? The city that's just NGO headquarters and poor planning.",
++      "Dili: Where everyone's young because the old remember worse times.",
++      "From Dili? Let me guess, you work for an international organization.",
++      "Dili: The only capital where the Jesus statue has a better view than future.",
++      "Where 'development' means another ministry building nobody needs.",
++      "Dili: Proof that being a capital requires more than independence.",
++      "From Dili? Your city's biggest achievement is not being occupied anymore.",
++    ],
++  },
  };