`7aca13f`

keep extending roast database

Authored by mfwolffe <wolffemf@dukes.jmu.edu> 10 months ago

SHA: 7aca13ffca08a47550aa127f3876970b065c18e8
Parents: 6e96f2f
Tree: 8fabc27

1 changed file

Status	File	+	-
M	`src/data/roastDatabase.js`	363	0

src/data/roastDatabase.jsmodified

        "Perth: Proof that money can't overcome geography.",
        "From Perth? Your city's biggest achievement is having beaches, like every other Australian city.",
      ],
++    adelaide: [
++      "Adelaide? Where serial killers outnumber opportunities.",
++      "From Adelaide? How's living in Australia's murder capital per capita?",
++      "Adelaide: Where everyone's related and the gene pool needs chlorine.",
++      "Oh, Adelaide? The city that's just Melbourne's creepy uncle.",
++      "Adelaide: Where churches outnumber reasons to live.",
++      "From Adelaide? Let me guess, you're explaining Snowtown was ages ago.",
++      "Adelaide: The only city where 'Festival State' can't hide the bodies.",
++      "Where 'culture' means wine and weird murders.",
++      "Adelaide: Proof that being planned doesn't mean being normal.",
++      "From Adelaide? Your city's biggest export is wine and true crime podcasts.",
++    ],
++    hobart: [
++      "Hobart? Where MONA is the only thing preventing complete irrelevance.",
++      "From Hobart? How's living at the bottom of the bottom of the world?",
++      "Hobart: Where everyone's related because who else would move there?",
++      "Oh, Hobart? The city that's just a cold country town with a weird museum.",
++      "Hobart: Where the tourists come for MONA and leave immediately after.",
++      "From Hobart? Let me guess, you work at MONA or wish you did.",
++      "Hobart: The only capital where inbreeding jokes write themselves.",
++      "Where 'culture' means whatever David Walsh funds.",
++      "Hobart: Proof that one museum can't save a city.",
++      "From Hobart? Your city's biggest achievement is dark MOFO, literally and figuratively.",
++    ],
++    darwin: [
++      "Darwin? Where the crocodiles are smarter than the residents.",
++      "From Darwin? How's living in Australia's sweatiest mistake?",
++      "Darwin: Where everyone's either military, drunk, or both.",
++      "Oh, Darwin? The city that's just a tropical trailer park.",
++      "Darwin: Where cyclones do urban planning better than the government.",
++      "From Darwin? Let me guess, you're explaining it's not that hot (it is).",
++      "Darwin: The only city where being rebuilt means being re-destroyed.",
++      "Where 'culture' means drinking and fighting, sometimes together.",
++      "Darwin: Proof that humans will live anywhere stupid.",
++      "From Darwin? Your city's biggest achievement is being closer to Asia than Australia.",
++    ],
    },
    // NEW ZEALAND
        "From Dili? Your city's biggest achievement is not being occupied anymore.",
      ],
    },
++
++  // UNITED KINGDOM
++  uk: {
++    generic: [
++      "UK? Where the empire died but the superiority complex survived.",
++      "From the UK? How's that special relationship with relevance working out?",
++      "United Kingdom: Where everyone's depressed but too polite to mention it.",
++      "Oh, UK? The country that's just America's elderly parent with bad teeth.",
++      "UK: Where the weather is gray, the food is beige, and the future is Brexit.",
++      "From the UK? Let me guess, you're complaining about the weather or immigrants.",
++      "UK: The only kingdom where the sun never sets because God doesn't trust them in the dark.",
++      "Where 'culture' means getting blackout drunk and calling it banter.",
++      "UK: Proof that losing an empire doesn't mean finding humility.",
++      "From the UK? Your country's biggest export is tax dodgers and colonial nostalgia.",
++    ],
++    london: [
++      "London? Where you pay £2000 a month to live in someone's converted closet.",
++      "From London? How's that £8 pint treating your overdraft?",
++      "London: Where everyone's important but nobody's happy.",
++      "Oh, London? The city that's just New York's older, more expensive cousin with worse weather.",
++      "London: Where the tubes are delayed, the rent is criminal, and everyone's miserable.",
++      "From London? Let me guess, you're in finance or 'creative industries' (unemployed).",
++      "London: The only city where zones determine your entire personality.",
++      "Where 'affordable' means only 60% of your income on rent.",
++      "London: Proof that fog can't hide the class system.",
++      "From London? Your city's biggest achievement is convincing people it's still relevant post-Brexit.",
++    ],
++    manchester: [
++      "Manchester? Where it rains more than Seattle but with less coffee culture.",
++      "From Manchester? How's pretending you're better than London?",
++      "Manchester: Where everyone's either a United or City fan, and both are insufferable.",
++      "Oh, Manchester? The city that peaked during the Industrial Revolution.",
++      "Manchester: Where the music scene died with the Hacienda.",
++      "From Manchester? Let me guess, you mention Oasis within 5 minutes of meeting anyone.",
++      "Manchester: The only city where 'Madchester' is still considered recent.",
++      "Where 'culture' means whatever London rejected.",
++      "Manchester: Proof that worker bees can't survive on nostalgia.",
++      "From Manchester? Your city's biggest achievement is not being Liverpool.",
++    ],
++    birmingham: [
++      "Birmingham? Where the accent is incomprehensible and the city planning is worse.",
++      "From Birmingham? How's being everyone's least favorite UK city?",
++      "Birmingham: Where concrete is considered architecture.",
++      "Oh, Birmingham? The city that's just London's ugly industrial cousin.",
++      "Birmingham: Where the canals outnumber the reasons to visit.",
++      "From Birmingham? Let me guess, you tell people you're from 'near London'.",
++      "Birmingham: The only city where the Bullring is the cultural peak.",
++      "Where 'diversity' can't mask the depression.",
++      "Birmingham: Proof that being second doesn't mean being significant.",
++      "From Birmingham? Your city's biggest achievement is having more canals than Venice but none of the charm.",
++    ],
++    glasgow: [
++      "Glasgow? Where the life expectancy is shorter than the temper.",
++      "From Glasgow? How's that deep-fried Mars bar treating your arteries?",
++      "Glasgow: Where everyone's either drunk, angry, or both.",
++      "Oh, Glasgow? The city that makes Edinburgh look warm and fuzzy.",
++      "Glasgow: Where 'Glasgow kiss' is a headbutt and 'Glasgow smile' is worse.",
++      "From Glasgow? Let me guess, you're explaining your accent for the hundredth time.",
++      "Glasgow: The only city where heroin chic was a documentary.",
++      "Where 'culture' means violence with a side of Irn-Bru.",
++      "Glasgow: Proof that shipbuilding can sink along with the ships.",
++      "From Glasgow? Your city's biggest export is comedians joking about how grim it is.",
++    ],
++    edinburgh: [
++      "Edinburgh? Where the castle is medieval and so are the attitudes.",
++      "From Edinburgh? How's that superiority complex over Glasgow working out?",
++      "Edinburgh: Where everyone's either a tourist or wishes the tourists would leave.",
++      "Oh, Edinburgh? The city that's just London for people who hate warmth.",
++      "Edinburgh: Where the festival quadruples the population and the pretension.",
++      "From Edinburgh? Let me guess, you're in finance or avoiding the Fringe.",
++      "Edinburgh: The only city where gray stone matches the gray weather perfectly.",
++      "Where 'culture' happens one month a year then hibernates.",
++      "Edinburgh: Proof that having a castle doesn't make you interesting.",
++      "From Edinburgh? Your city's biggest achievement is tricking tourists it's worth the prices.",
++    ],
++    liverpool: [
++      "Liverpool? Where the Beatles left and took everything good with them.",
++      "From Liverpool? How's living on past musical glory?",
++      "Liverpool: Where everyone claims to be a comedian but nobody's laughing.",
++      "Oh, Liverpool? The city that's just Manchester's louder, less successful sibling.",
++      "Liverpool: Where scouse is a stew and an excuse for unintelligible speech.",
++      "From Liverpool? Let me guess, you've already mentioned the Beatles three times.",
++      "Liverpool: The only city where European Capital of Culture couldn't fix the culture.",
++      "Where 'heritage' means the docks that don't employ anyone anymore.",
++      "Liverpool: Proof that one band can't sustain a city forever.",
++      "From Liverpool? Your city's biggest export is self-pity and football disappointment.",
++    ],
++    belfast: [
++      "Belfast? Where the Troubles ended but the trouble didn't.",
++      "From Belfast? How's that peace wall working for community relations?",
++      "Belfast: Where everyone's friendly until you mention religion or politics.",
++      "Oh, Belfast? The city that's just Dublin's angry Protestant cousin.",
++      "Belfast: Where the Titanic was built, and the city's been sinking since.",
++      "From Belfast? Let me guess, you're explaining you're not like that anymore.",
++      "Belfast: The only city where murals are either art or threats.",
++      "Where 'progress' means slightly fewer explosions.",
++      "Belfast: Proof that peace agreements don't erase paint.",
++      "From Belfast? Your city's biggest achievement is building a ship that famously sank.",
++    ],
++    cardiff: [
++      "Cardiff? Where the Welsh pride themselves on not being English while copying everything English.",
++      "From Cardiff? How's being the capital of sheep and consonants?",
++      "Cardiff: Where the rugby is religion and the language is dying.",
++      "Oh, Cardiff? The city that's just Bristol's less successful Welsh cousin.",
++      "Cardiff: Where everyone's a doctor thanks to that TV show nobody watches anymore.",
++      "From Cardiff? Let me guess, you're explaining how to pronounce Llanfairpwllgwyngyll.",
++      "Cardiff: The only capital where the stadium is more important than parliament.",
++      "Where 'culture' means singing and losing to England.",
++      "Cardiff: Proof that having your own language doesn't mean anyone speaks it.",
++      "From Cardiff? Your city's biggest achievement is convincing people Wales needs a capital.",
++    ],
++  },
++
++  // CANADA (cities)
++  canada: {
++    // ... existing generic roasts ...
++    toronto: [
++      "Toronto? Where everyone pretends they're New York but they're really just Buffalo with healthcare.",
++      "From Toronto? How's that world-class city complex with no world-class personality?",
++      "Toronto: Where the CN Tower is the only thing with a point.",
++      "Oh, Toronto? The city that's just Chicago's polite, boring cousin.",
++      "Toronto: Where diversity means different types of suburban sprawl.",
++      "From Toronto? Let me guess, you think the Leafs will win this year (they won't).",
++      "Toronto: The only city where 'centre of the universe' is said unironically.",
++      "Where 'culture' means whatever America did five years ago.",
++      "Toronto: Proof that being big doesn't mean being interesting.",
++      "From Toronto? Your city's biggest achievement is not being Montreal.",
++    ],
++    vancouver: [
++      "Vancouver? Where the mountains are beautiful and the rent is criminal.",
++      "From Vancouver? How's that rain and fentanyl crisis combo?",
++      "Vancouver: Where everyone's outdoorsy on Instagram but depressed in reality.",
++      "Oh, Vancouver? The city that's just Seattle's more expensive, less relevant sibling.",
++      "Vancouver: Where foreign real estate money priced out actual Canadians.",
++      "From Vancouver? Let me guess, you live with 6 roommates or 60 minutes away.",
++      "Vancouver: The only city where yoga pants are formal wear year-round.",
++      "Where 'no fun city' isn't a joke, it's a lifestyle.",
++      "Vancouver: Proof that natural beauty can't overcome urban misery.",
++      "From Vancouver? Your city's biggest export is complaints about housing prices.",
++    ],
++    montreal: [
++      "Montreal? Where everyone's French but pretends to be Parisian.",
++      "From Montreal? How's that language police treating your freedom?",
++      "Montreal: Where the roads have more holes than Swiss cheese and more corruption than Quebec City.",
++      "Oh, Montreal? The city that's just Paris's broke North American cousin.",
++      "Montreal: Where students come for culture and leave because of winter.",
++      "From Montreal? Let me guess, you're explaining you're not really Canadian.",
++      "Montreal: The only city where construction is a season that lasts all year.",
++      "Where 'joie de vivre' means ignoring the infrastructure collapse.",
++      "Montreal: Proof that European pretensions don't fix North American problems.",
++      "From Montreal? Your city's biggest achievement is convincing people poutine is cuisine.",
++    ],
++    calgary: [
++      "Calgary? Where cowboys cosplay in office towers.",
++      "From Calgary? How's that oil dependence working in 2025?",
++      "Calgary: Where everyone's either in oil or pretending oil's coming back.",
++      "Oh, Calgary? The city that's just Houston's colder, less successful cousin.",
++      "Calgary: Where the Stampede is ten days of pretending you're not boring.",
++      "From Calgary? Let me guess, you drive a truck you don't need for work you don't have.",
++      "Calgary: The only city where freezing to death is preferable to the economy.",
++      "Where 'culture' means whatever doesn't require oil prices to recover.",
++      "Calgary: Proof that boom and bust mostly means bust.",
++      "From Calgary? Your city's biggest achievement is being slightly less cold than Edmonton.",
++    ],
++    ottawa: [
++      "Ottawa? Where fun goes to file paperwork and die.",
++      "From Ottawa? How's being the capital nobody remembers is the capital?",
++      "Ottawa: Where everyone's a bureaucrat or serving bureaucrats.",
++      "Oh, Ottawa? The city that's just Washington DC without the power or purpose.",
++      "Ottawa: Where bilingual means boring in two languages.",
++      "From Ottawa? Let me guess, you work for the government and hate it.",
++      "Ottawa: The only capital where the tulips have more personality than residents.",
++      "Where 'excitement' is a new government policy nobody will read.",
++      "Ottawa: Proof that being a capital doesn't require a pulse.",
++      "From Ottawa? Your city's biggest achievement is not being Toronto or Montreal.",
++    ],
++    edmonton: [
++      "Edmonton? Calgary's uglier, colder sibling that nobody talks about.",
++      "From Edmonton? How's being Canada's most forgettable major city?",
++      "Edmonton: Where the mall is bigger than the city's ambitions.",
++      "Oh, Edmonton? The city that's just Fort McMurray's bedroom community.",
++      "Edmonton: Where winter lasts 8 months and depression lasts 12.",
++      "From Edmonton? Let me guess, you're explaining it's actually bigger than Calgary.",
++      "Edmonton: The only city where -40 is both the temperature and the mood.",
++      "Where 'culture' means the mall and whatever Calgary rejected.",
++      "Edmonton: Proof that surviving doesn't mean thriving.",
++      "From Edmonton? Your city's biggest achievement is that big mall nobody cares about.",
++    ],
++  },
++  // MEXICO
++  mexico: {
++    generic: [
++      "Mexico? Where the cartels have better organization than the government.",
++      "From Mexico? How's that war on drugs going? Oh right, the drugs won.",
++      "Mexico: Where everyone's cousin is either in the US or sending money from the US.",
++      "Oh, Mexico? The country that's just America's factory with margaritas.",
++      "Mexico: Where corruption isn't a bug, it's a feature.",
++      "From Mexico? Let me guess, you're explaining you're not all narcos (just mostly).",
++      "Mexico: The only country where beheadings make page 6 news.",
++      "Where 'la mordida' is more reliable than the justice system.",
++      "Mexico: Proof that natural resources and location guarantee nothing.",
++      "From Mexico? Your country's biggest export is people fleeing to anywhere else.",
++    ],
++    mexico_city: [
++      "Mexico City? Where the air is chewy and the traffic doesn't move.",
++      "From CDMX? How's living on a drained lake that's slowly swallowing you?",
++      "Mexico City: Where 25 million people pretend the Big One isn't coming.",
++      "Oh, Mexico City? The city that's just LA with more kidnappings and worse air.",
++      "Mexico City: Where everyone's stuck in traffic planning their escape to Querétaro.",
++      "From CDMX? Let me guess, you're in Polanco pretending the rest doesn't exist.",
++      "Mexico City: The only capital where sinking is literal and metaphorical.",
++      "Where 'culture' can't mask the fact you're breathing poison.",
++      "Mexico City: Proof that megacities can be mega-disasters.",
++      "From Mexico City? Your city's biggest achievement is functioning despite everything.",
++    ],
++    guadalajara: [
++      "Guadalajara? Mexico City's boring cousin that thinks it's cultured.",
++      "From Guadalajara? How's being Mexico's Silicon Valley with cartel money?",
++      "Guadalajara: Where everyone pretends they're not just another narco-state capital.",
++      "Oh, Guadalajara? The city that's just CDMX without the excitement or jobs.",
++      "Guadalajara: Where mariachi was born and hope went to die.",
++      "From Guadalajara? Let me guess, you're in tech or tequila or both.",
++      "Guadalajara: The only city where tradition means cartels run everything traditionally.",
++      "Where 'innovation' means new ways to launder money.",
++      "Guadalajara: Proof that being second city means second-rate.",
++      "From Guadalajara? Your city's biggest export is tequila and IT workers to the US.",
++    ],
++    monterrey: [
++      "Monterrey? Where the mountains are beautiful and the inequality is ugly.",
++      "From Monterrey? How's being Mexico's industrial armpit?",
++      "Monterrey: Where everyone's either rich in San Pedro or struggling everywhere else.",
++      "Oh, Monterrey? The city that's just Houston's Mexican franchise.",
++      "Monterrey: Where the narcos and industrialists have a timeshare agreement.",
++      "From Monterrey? Let me guess, you work for a multinational or wish you did.",
++      "Monterrey: The only city where the smog competes with the violence for attention.",
++      "Where 'progress' means another maquiladora paying poverty wages.",
++      "Monterrey: Proof that industry doesn't mean development.",
++      "From Monterrey? Your city's biggest achievement is being closer to Texas than to Mexico City.",
++    ],
++    tijuana: [
++      "Tijuana? Where America goes to make bad decisions.",
++      "From TJ? How's being San Diego's toilet?",
++      "Tijuana: Where donkey shows and dental work have equal marketing budgets.",
++      "Oh, Tijuana? The city that's just a border town with delusions.",
++      "Tijuana: Where everyone's either serving Americans or smuggling to them.",
++      "From Tijuana? Let me guess, you're explaining it's actually cultured now (it's not).",
++      "Tijuana: The only city where the border wall is the main attraction.",
++      "Where 'tourism' means Americans getting what's illegal at home.",
++      "Tijuana: Proof that borders create more problems than they solve.",
++      "From TJ? Your city's biggest export is regrettable spring break stories.",
++    ],
++    cancun: [
++      "Cancún? Where Mexican culture goes to die on a beach.",
++      "From Cancún? How's living in Mexico's Disney World?",
++      "Cancún: Where everyone's in tourism because what else is there?",
++      "Oh, Cancún? The city that's just Miami for people who can't afford Miami.",
++      "Cancún: Where spring breakers treat your home like a toilet.",
++      "From Cancún? Let me guess, you avoid the hotel zone like the plague.",
++      "Cancún: The only city built entirely to extract money from drunk Americans.",
++      "Where 'authentic' costs extra and isn't.",
++      "Cancún: Proof that beaches can't build real economies.",
++      "From Cancún? Your city's biggest achievement is convincing Americans it's Mexico.",
++    ],
++  },
++  // SPAIN
++  spain: {
++    generic: [
++      "Spain? Where the unemployment rate is higher than the sangria consumption.",
++      "From Spain? How's that siesta working while the economy's in a coma?",
++      "Spain: Where everyone's 35 and living with their parents.",
++      "Oh, Spain? The country that's just Europe's retirement home with beaches.",
++      "Spain: Where corruption is so normal it's basically tradition.",
++      "From Spain? Let me guess, you're in tourism or Germany.",
++      "Spain: The only country where 'mañana' is economic policy.",
++      "Where 'culture' means bullfighting and ignoring Catalonia.",
++      "Spain: Proof that sun doesn't guarantee prosperity.",
++      "From Spain? Your country's biggest export is young people seeking jobs.",
++    ],
++    madrid: [
++      "Madrid? Where everyone pretends to work but really just drinks vermouth.",
++      "From Madrid? How's that capital city complex with Barcelona?",
++      "Madrid: Where the nightlife starts when other cities sleep.",
++      "Oh, Madrid? The city that's just Barcelona without beaches or personality.",
++      "Madrid: Where everyone's a Real Madrid fan or wrong.",
++      "From Madrid? Let me guess, you're explaining why it's better than Barcelona.",
++      "Madrid: The only capital where lunch is at 3 and dinner at 11.",
++      "Where 'productivity' is a foreign concept like punctuality.",
++      "Madrid: Proof that being central doesn't make you essential.",
++      "From Madrid? Your city's biggest achievement is convincing people it matters.",
++    ],
++    barcelona: [
++      "Barcelona? Where pickpockets have unionized and tourists are the industry.",
++      "From Barcelona? How's that independence movement working out?",
++      "Barcelona: Where everyone's either robbing tourists or being robbed by rent.",
++      "Oh, Barcelona? The city that's just Madrid with beaches and attitude.",
++      "Barcelona: Where Gaudí's buildings are unfinished like Catalonia's independence.",
++      "From Barcelona? Let me guess, you're complaining about tourists in English.",
++      "Barcelona: The only city where locals hate visitors but need their money.",
++      "Where 'culture' is performed hourly for cruise ships.",
++      "Barcelona: Proof that beaches can't solve political problems.",
++      "From Barcelona? Your city's biggest export is pickpocketed wallets and separatist dreams.",
++    ],
++    valencia: [
++      "Valencia? Barcelona's cheaper, less interesting sister.",
++      "From Valencia? How's being Spain's third wheel?",
++      "Valencia: Where the paella is good but the job market is burnt.",
++      "Oh, Valencia? The city that's just trying not to be Alicante.",
++      "Valencia: Where everyone pretends the City of Arts and Sciences changed everything.",
++      "From Valencia? Let me guess, you're explaining it's actually better than Barcelona.",
++      "Valencia: The only city where oranges are more productive than people.",
++      "Where 'innovation' means copying Barcelona five years later.",
++      "Valencia: Proof that being coastal doesn't guarantee relevance.",
++      "From Valencia? Your city's biggest achievement is being cheaper than Madrid.",
++    ],
++    seville: [
++      "Seville? Where it's 45°C and people still pretend it's romantic.",
++      "From Seville? How's living in Europe's frying pan?",
++      "Seville: Where flamenco is performed for tourists who think it's authentic.",
++      "Oh, Seville? The city that's just heat stroke with architecture.",
++      "Seville: Where everyone's in tourism because the heat killed other industries.",
++      "From Seville? Let me guess, you hide indoors from June to September.",
++      "Seville: The only city where hell would be cooler.",
++      "Where 'culture' means charging tourists to see anything.",
++      "Seville: Proof that historic doesn't mean liveable.",
++      "From Seville? Your city's biggest export is sweat and disappointment.",
++    ],
++  },
  };