`d379013`

new jersey roasts

Authored by mfwolffe <wolffemf@dukes.jmu.edu> 10 months ago

SHA: d37901387c9a3df69d4f98993f0477caffd5fef5
Parents: 4c64031
Tree: 9156305

1 changed file

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M	`src/data/roastDatabase.js`	611	2

src/data/roastDatabase.jsmodified

        "Massachusetts: Where the weather sucks, the roads suck more, but at least you're not Connecticut.",
        "The only state where Dropkick Murphys is considered classical music.",
      ],
++    worcester: [
++      "Worcester? Boston's ugly friend nobody wants to visit.",
++      "From Worcester? How's living in Mass's most mispronounced disappointment?",
++      "Worcester: Where even the colleges can't wait to leave for Boston.",
++      "Oh, Worcester? The city that's just a rest stop between real places.",
++      "Worcester: Where everyone's either in healthcare or need healthcare for depression.",
++      "From Worcester? Let me guess, you tell people you're 'near Boston'.",
++      "Worcester: The only city where 'Wormtown' is an improvement on reality.",
++      "Where 'culture' went to die in a triple-decker.",
++      "Worcester: Proof that being centrally located doesn't make you central.",
++      "From Worcester? Your city's biggest achievement is having colleges that students flee on weekends.",
++    ],
++    cambridge: [
++      "Cambridge? Where Harvard and MIT students pretend they're changing the world from a bubble.",
++      "From Cambridge? How's that intellectual superiority complex working out?",
++      "Cambridge: Where everyone's smarter than you and won't shut up about it.",
++      "Oh, Cambridge? The city that's just Boston's know-it-all little sibling.",
++      "Cambridge: Where rent is $4000/month because you might see a Nobel laureate at Starbucks.",
++      "From Cambridge? Let me guess, you're in tech, academia, or lying about living there.",
++      "Cambridge: The only city where everyone's writing a thesis nobody will read.",
++      "Where 'townies' are extinct because they can't afford to exist.",
++      "Cambridge: Proof that intelligence doesn't equal wisdom or affordability.",
++      "From Cambridge? Your city's biggest achievement is making Boston look unpretentious.",
++    ],
++    lowell: [
++      "Lowell? Where the mills closed but the depression stayed open.",
++      "From Lowell? How's living in Massachusetts' heroin capital?",
++      "Lowell: Where everyone's Cambodian or on opioids, sometimes both.",
++      "Oh, Lowell? The city that's just Lawrence's slightly less awful twin.",
++      "Lowell: Where Jack Kerouac left and never looked back for good reason.",
++      "From Lowell? Let me guess, you're in healthcare or need rehab.",
++      "Lowell: The only city where the canals are prettier than the prospects.",
++      "Where 'culture' means whatever immigrant community hasn't been priced out yet.",
++      "Lowell: Proof that historical significance doesn't guarantee a future.",
++      "From Lowell? Your city's biggest export is UMass Lowell students who never return.",
++    ],
      boston: [
        "Boston? The city that peaked in 1776 and won't shut up about it.",
        "Ah yes, Boston, where 'parallel parking' means abandoning your car at a 45-degree angle with the hazards on.",
        "From Hartford? Your city's biggest achievement is making actuarial science look exciting by comparison.",
      ],
    },
--
++  newjersey: {
++    generic: [
++      "New Jersey? The state that exists solely as a buffer between New York and civilization.",
++      "From New Jersey? How's being America's armpit treating you?",
++      "New Jersey: Where everyone's either from North Jersey or South Jersey and they hate each other.",
++      "Oh, New Jersey? The state that's just a turnpike with exits.",
++      "New Jersey: Where the state flower should be a traffic cone.",
++      "From New Jersey? Let me guess, you're explaining which exit you're from.",
++      "New Jersey: The only state where 'What exit?' is a standard greeting.",
++      "Where 'culture' means arguing about Taylor Ham vs Pork Roll.",
++      "New Jersey: Proof that toxic waste can achieve statehood.",
++      "From New Jersey? Your state's biggest export is people fleeing to Pennsylvania.",
++      "New Jersey: Where everyone acts tough but can't pump their own gas.",
++      "The state where the shore is trashy and the people are trashier.",
++      "New Jersey: Where every stereotype is understated.",
++      "From New Jersey? You definitely have a gold chain and an attitude problem.",
++      "New Jersey: Because New York needed somewhere to dump its garbage.",
++    ],
++    newark: [
++      "Newark? Where planes land but nobody wants to stay.",
++      "From Newark? How's living in New York's toilet?",
++      "Newark: Where the airport is the nicest part, and it's terrible.",
++      "Oh, Newark? The city that makes Camden look like it has potential.",
++      "Newark: Where everyone's either flying somewhere better or stuck forever.",
++      "From Newark? Let me guess, you tell people you're from 'near NYC'.",
++      "Newark: The only city where carjacking is considered public transportation.",
++      "Where 'renaissance' has been coming for 40 years.",
++      "Newark: Proof that having an airport doesn't make you a destination.",
++      "From Newark? Your city's biggest achievement is being slightly better than it was in the 80s.",
++    ],
++    jersey_city: [
++      "Jersey City? Manhattan's overflow parking for people who can't afford Manhattan.",
++      "From Jersey City? How's pretending you live in New York?",
++      "Jersey City: Where everyone commutes to NYC and complains about NYC prices while paying NYC prices.",
++      "Oh, Jersey City? The city that's just Brooklyn for people who gave up.",
++      "Jersey City: Where the PATH train is more reliable than your life choices.",
++      "From Jersey City? Let me guess, you can 'see Manhattan from your apartment'.",
++      "Jersey City: The only city where gentrification is considered an improvement.",
++      "Where 'culture' means whatever New York didn't want.",
++      "Jersey City: Proof that proximity to greatness doesn't transfer.",
++      "From Jersey City? Your city's biggest achievement is not being Newark.",
++    ],
++    trenton: [
++      "Trenton? Where 'Trenton Makes, The World Takes' but Trenton can't take it anymore.",
++      "From Trenton? How's being the capital nobody remembers is the capital?",
++      "Trenton: Where the government is as broken as the infrastructure.",
++      "Oh, Trenton? The city that makes Camden look ambitious.",
++      "Trenton: Where everyone's either a state employee or unemployed.",
++      "From Trenton? Let me guess, you work for the state and hate it.",
++      "Trenton: The only capital where the best thing is the train to Philly.",
++      "Where 'urban renewal' means painting over graffiti.",
++      "Trenton: Proof that being a capital doesn't mean being important.",
++      "From Trenton? Your city's biggest achievement is that bridge sign everyone photographs ironically.",
++    ],
++    atlantic_city: [
++      "Atlantic City? Where Vegas dreams went to die on the boardwalk.",
++      "From AC? How's living in America's saddest casino?",
++      "Atlantic City: Where the ocean is the only thing that isn't rigged.",
++      "Oh, Atlantic City? The city that's just poverty with poker chips.",
++      "Atlantic City: Where Trump's casinos failed, setting the bar for the whole city.",
++      "From AC? Let me guess, you're in gambling or enabling gamblers.",
++      "Atlantic City: The only city where the boardwalk is more stable than the economy.",
++      "Where 'development' means another casino closing.",
++      "Atlantic City: Proof that gambling on a city doesn't pay off.",
++      "From AC? Your city's biggest achievement is making people appreciate Vegas.",
++    ],
++    camden: [
++      "Camden? Where Philadelphia sends its worst nightmares.",
++      "From Camden? How's living in America's most dangerous city per capita?",
++      "Camden: Where the aquarium fish have better living conditions than residents.",
++      "Oh, Camden? The city that makes Detroit look like a success story.",
++      "Camden: Where everyone's either escaping or escaped already.",
++      "From Camden? Let me guess, you're explaining you live in the 'safe part'.",
++      "Camden: The only city where urban blight is the architectural style.",
++      "Where 'renewal' has been coming since the 1960s.",
++      "Camden: Proof that being across from Philadelphia doesn't mean Philly helps.",
++      "From Camden? Your city's biggest export is cautionary tales and crime statistics.",
++    ],
++    paterson: [
++      "Paterson? New Jersey's waterfall of wasted potential.",
++      "From Paterson? How's living in the Silk City with no silk or jobs?",
++      "Paterson: Where the Great Falls are the only thing falling faster than property values.",
++      "Oh, Paterson? The city that's just Newark's even more depressing cousin.",
++      "Paterson: Where everyone's Arabic or Albanian and equally unemployed.",
++      "From Paterson? Let me guess, you're in a check cashing place right now.",
++      "Paterson: The only city where the industrial revolution ended in defeat.",
++      "Where 'culture' means whatever immigrants brought to replace what left.",
++      "Paterson: Proof that historic waterfalls can't power modern economies.",
++      "From Paterson? Your city's biggest achievement is being mentioned in that Jim Jarmusch film nobody saw.",
++    ],
++    hoboken: [
++      "Hoboken? Where NYC bros go to pretend they're still in Manhattan.",
++      "From Hoboken? How's that Murray Hill 2.0 treating your liver?",
++      "Hoboken: Where everyone's 25, drunk, and works in finance.",
++      "Oh, Hoboken? The city that's just a frat party with a PATH station.",
++      "Hoboken: Where the bars per capita is higher than the IQ.",
++      "From Hoboken? Let me guess, you pregame for NYC but pass out in Hoboken.",
++      "Hoboken: The only city where 'SantaCon' is considered cultural heritage.",
++      "Where 'nightlife' means puking on Washington Street.",
++      "Hoboken: Proof that Frank Sinatra left for a reason.",
++      "From Hoboken? Your city's biggest achievement is being the birthplace of someone who couldn't leave fast enough.",
++    ],
++  },
    // NEW HAMPSHIRE
    newhampshire: {
      generic: [
        "From Texas? Your truck's lift kit costs more than most people's entire cars.",
        "Texas: Where 'y'all' is singular, 'all y'all' is plural, and education is optional.",
      ],
++
++    amarillo: [
++      "Amarillo? Where the wind blows harder than the job prospects.",
++      "From Amarillo? How's living in Texas's forgotten armpit?",
++      "Amarillo: Where cattle have more culture than people.",
++      "Oh, Amarillo? The city that's just a truck stop with delusions.",
++      "Amarillo: Where everyone's passing through because staying would be insane.",
++      "From Amarillo? Let me guess, you work in beef or wish you lived anywhere else.",
++      "Amarillo: The only city where the Cadillac Ranch is the cultural peak.",
++      "Where 'entertainment' means watching tumbleweeds race.",
++      "Amarillo: Proof that not everything's bigger in Texas, especially opportunities.",
++      "From Amarillo? Your city's biggest achievement is being mentioned in that song nobody remembers.",
++    ],
++    lubbock: [
++      "Lubbock? Where dust storms have more personality than residents.",
++      "From Lubbock? How's living in a city that makes Amarillo look cosmopolitan?",
++      "Lubbock: Where Texas Tech is the only reason anyone knows it exists.",
++      "Oh, Lubbock? The city that's just a cotton field with a university.",
++      "Lubbock: Where everyone's either at Tech or supporting someone at Tech.",
++      "From Lubbock? Let me guess, you have strong opinions about tortillas being thrown.",
++      "Lubbock: The only city where Buddy Holly leaving was the smartest move.",
++      "Where 'culture' means whatever the wind hasn't blown away.",
++      "Lubbock: Proof that universities can't fix everything.",
++      "From Lubbock? Your city's biggest export is dust and Red Raiders who never come back.",
++    ],
++    corpus_christi: [
++      "Corpus Christi? Where the beach is brown and so is the water.",
++      "From Corpus? How's living in Texas's most disappointing coastal city?",
++      "Corpus Christi: Where spring breakers go when they can't afford actual beaches.",
++      "Oh, Corpus? The city that's just refineries with a dirty beach attached.",
++      "Corpus Christi: Where the body of Christ needs a tetanus shot.",
++      "From Corpus? Let me guess, you're in oil or selling shrimp to tourists.",
++      "Corpus Christi: The only beach town where the petroleum smell is part of the charm.",
++      "Where 'beach culture' means avoiding the tar balls.",
++      "Corpus Christi: Proof that having a coast doesn't make you coastal.",
++      "From Corpus? Your city's biggest achievement is being closer to Mexico than to relevance.",
++    ],
++    plano: [
++      "Plano? Where Dallas suburbs go to breed more suburbs.",
++      "From Plano? How's that corporate chain restaurant capital of America treating you?",
++      "Plano: Where diversity means different types of strip malls.",
++      "Oh, Plano? The city that's just Dallas's beige overflow.",
++      "Plano: Where everyone's in middle management and dying inside.",
++      "From Plano? Let me guess, you drive a sensible SUV to your sensible job.",
++      "Plano: The only city where excitement is a new Target opening.",
++      "Where 'culture' is whatever corporation relocated here this year.",
++      "Plano: Proof that money can't buy personality.",
++      "From Plano? Your city's biggest achievement is having good schools for kids who'll leave ASAP.",
++    ],
      austin: [
        "Austin? The city trying so hard to be weird it became basic.",
        "From Austin? How's the live music you never go to and the BBQ you wait 3 hours in line for?",
        "From California? You definitely have opinions about which freeway is slightly less terrible.",
        "California: The only state that's literally and figuratively on fire.",
      ],
++    long_beach: [
++      "Long Beach? LA's dirty little port secret.",
++      "From Long Beach? How's living in Los Angeles's industrial armpit?",
++      "Long Beach: Where the Queen Mary is slowly sinking, just like the city.",
++      "Oh, Long Beach? The city that's just LA's shipping container storage.",
++      "Long Beach: Where everyone pretends the port pollution isn't killing them.",
++      "From Long Beach? Let me guess, you tell people you're from 'LA area'.",
++      "Long Beach: The only beach city where you don't want to touch the water.",
++      "Where 'culture' means whatever washed up from the port.",
++      "Long Beach: Proof that being coastal doesn't mean being nice.",
++      "From Long Beach? Your city's biggest achievement is having 'beach' in the name ironically.",
++    ],
++    anaheim: [
++      "Anaheim? Disneyland's parking lot with delusions of cityhood.",
++      "From Anaheim? How's living in Mickey Mouse's servant quarters?",
++      "Anaheim: Where the happiest place on Earth is surrounded by sadness.",
++      "Oh, Anaheim? The city that exists solely to house Disney's workforce.",
++      "Anaheim: Where everyone's either serving tourists or avoiding them.",
++      "From Anaheim? Let me guess, you worked at Disney and now hate children.",
++      "Anaheim: The only city where the mouse has more power than the mayor.",
++      "Where 'culture' is whatever Disney allows outside the gates.",
++      "Anaheim: Proof that theme parks can't theme a city.",
++      "From Anaheim? Your city's biggest achievement is hosting expensive child disappointment.",
++    ],
++    riverside: [
++      "Riverside? Where people move when even San Bernardino is too expensive.",
++      "From Riverside? How's that 3-hour commute to LA treating you?",
++      "Riverside: Where the smog settles because even it can't afford to live closer.",
++      "Oh, Riverside? The city that's just LA's storage unit for poor people.",
++      "Riverside: Where everyone drives to LA for work and dies a little each day.",
++      "From Riverside? Let me guess, you're 'only an hour from everything' in traffic.",
++      "Riverside: The only city where meth labs improve property values.",
++      "Where 'culture' means whatever gang tags haven't been painted over.",
++      "Riverside: Proof that affordable housing comes with hidden costs.",
++      "From Riverside? Your city's biggest achievement is being mentioned in a Breaking Bad episode.",
++    ],
++    bakersfield: [
++      "Bakersfield? Where dreams go to die in the heat.",
++      "From Bakersfield? How's living in California's taint?",
++      "Bakersfield: Where the meth is plentiful and the hope is not.",
++      "Oh, Bakersfield? The city that makes Fresno look like Paris.",
++      "Bakersfield: Where everyone's either in oil, agriculture, or opioids.",
++      "From Bakersfield? Let me guess, you're planning your escape to literally anywhere.",
++      "Bakersfield: The only city where 115° is both the temperature and the crime rate.",
++      "Where 'culture' means different types of country music.",
++      "Bakersfield: Proof that being in California doesn't make you Californian.",
++      "From Bakersfield? Your city's biggest export is depression and almonds.",
++    ],
++    santa_barbara: [
++      "Santa Barbara? Where rich people go to pretend they're cultured.",
++      "From Santa Barbara? How's living in California's most pretentious beach town?",
++      "Santa Barbara: Where the university students can't afford to live near the university.",
++      "Oh, Santa Barbara? The city that's just Montecito's less wealthy neighbor.",
++      "Santa Barbara: Where everyone's in wine or whining about housing costs.",
++      "From Santa Barbara? Let me guess, you serve rich people or are one.",
++      "Santa Barbara: The only city where 'middle class' means millionaire.",
++      "Where 'culture' is whatever doesn't threaten property values.",
++      "Santa Barbara: Proof that perfect weather can't overcome imperfect people.",
++      "From Santa Barbara? Your city's biggest achievement is keeping poor people out successfully.",
++    ],
      los_angeles: [
        "LA? The city where everyone's an actor/model/influencer but actually works at Starbucks.",
        "Los Angeles: Where sitting in traffic for 3 hours is called 'the commute' and everyone pretends it's normal.",
        "From New York? You definitely judge every city by how late the bars stay open.",
        "New York: The only state where 'upstate' means anything north of the Bronx.",
      ],
++    yonkers: [
++      "Yonkers? New York City's storage closet for people who can't afford the city.",
++      "From Yonkers? How's pretending you live in NYC when you're barely in New York?",
++      "Yonkers: Where everyone's either commuting to Manhattan or wishing they were.",
++      "Oh, Yonkers? The city that's just the Bronx's less interesting overflow.",
++      "Yonkers: Where the rent is still too high for what you get.",
++      "From Yonkers? Let me guess, you tell people you're from 'just outside the city'.",
++      "Yonkers: The only city where being next to the Bronx is the highlight.",
++      "Where 'culture' means whatever filtered up from New York City.",
++      "Yonkers: Proof that proximity to greatness doesn't make you great.",
++      "From Yonkers? Your city's biggest achievement is the raceway, and horses left decades ago.",
++    ],
++    long_island: [
++      "Long Island? Where NYC's worst stereotypes go to breed.",
++      "From Long Island? How's that accent and attitude treating you?",
++      "Long Island: Where everyone's Italian, Irish, or insufferable.",
++      "Oh, Long Island? The place that's just New Jersey with more expensive beaches.",
++      "Long Island: Where the further east you go, the more racist it gets.",
++      "From Long Island? Let me guess, you're from the 'good part' and everyone else isn't.",
++      "Long Island: The only place where town names sound like STDs.",
++      "Where 'culture' means which mall you hang out at.",
++      "Long Island: Proof that money can't buy class, just Billy Joel tickets.",
++      "From Long Island? Your island's biggest achievement is convincing people it's not just suburban hell.",
++    ],
++    white_plains: [
++      "White Plains? Where Westchester goes to feel urban.",
++      "From White Plains? How's living in NYC's most boring suburb?",
++      "White Plains: Where corporate parks have more life than downtown.",
++      "Oh, White Plains? The city that's just a mall with train stations.",
++      "White Plains: Where everyone commutes to NYC but pretends they don't need to.",
++      "From White Plains? Let me guess, you shop at The Westchester and call it culture.",
++      "White Plains: The only city where 'diversity' means different hedge fund managers.",
++      "Where 'nightlife' ends when the mall closes.",
++      "White Plains: Proof that being rich doesn't mean being interesting.",
++      "From White Plains? Your city's biggest achievement is being on the Metro North line.",
++    ],
++
      nyc: [
        "NYC? Let me guess, you've mentioned you're from New York within 5 minutes of every conversation you've ever had.",
        "From NYC? Cool, how's that superiority complex and vitamin D deficiency working out?",
        "From Ohio? You definitely tell people you're 'from near Cleveland/Cincinnati/Columbus'.",
        "Ohio: Because someone had to make Indiana look interesting.",
      ],
++    akron: [
++      "Akron? The rubber city that bounced into irrelevance.",
++      "From Akron? How's living in Cleveland's even more depressing little brother?",
++      "Akron: Where LeBron leaving was the city's biggest achievement.",
++      "Oh, Akron? The city that smells like tires and broken dreams.",
++      "Akron: Where everyone's either making tires or tired of making nothing.",
++      "From Akron? Let me guess, you mention LeBron within 30 seconds of meeting anyone.",
++      "Akron: The only city where rubber factories left but the smell didn't.",
++      "Where 'culture' means whatever Cleveland didn't want.",
++      "Akron: Proof that making tires doesn't mean going anywhere.",
++      "From Akron? Your city's biggest export is NBA players who succeed elsewhere.",
++    ],
++    toledo: [
++      "Toledo? Ohio's mistake on the lake that Detroit didn't want.",
++      "From Toledo? How's living in a city both Ohio and Michigan rejected?",
++      "Toledo: Where the mud hens are the most exciting thing.",
++      "Oh, Toledo? The city that's just Detroit's toilet.",
++      "Toledo: Where everyone's in glass or seeing their future shatter.",
++      "From Toledo? Let me guess, you're explaining it's not as bad as people think (it is).",
++      "Toledo: The only city where the zoo is more functional than the government.",
++      "Where 'culture' means whatever museum hasn't closed yet.",
++      "Toledo: Proof that being on a Great Lake doesn't make you great.",
++      "From Toledo? Your city's biggest achievement is Tony Packo's, and that's just hot dogs.",
++    ],
++    dayton: [
++      "Dayton? Where aviation was invented so people could leave faster.",
++      "From Dayton? How's living in Ohio's opioid testing ground?",
++      "Dayton: Where the Wright brothers' first flight was out of there.",
++      "Oh, Dayton? The city that peaked in 1903.",
++      "Dayton: Where everyone's either on drugs or selling them at Wright-Patt.",
++      "From Dayton? Let me guess, you work for the Air Force or wish you did.",
++      "Dayton: The only city where urban prairie is the dominant architecture.",
++      "Where 'culture' means the Air Force museum and abandoned buildings.",
++      "Dayton: Proof that inventing flight doesn't mean your city will soar.",
++      "From Dayton? Your city's biggest export is people flying away.",
++    ],
      columbus: [
        "Columbus? The capital city that everyone forgets is the capital.",
        "From Columbus? How's living in Ohio's attempt at having a real city?",
      ],
    },
++  georgia: {
++    generic: [
++      "Georgia? Where everyone claims Atlanta but lives 2 hours away in traffic.",
++      "From Georgia? How's that Southern hospitality hiding Northern segregation?",
++      "Georgia: Where peaches are the state fruit but Coca-Cola diabetes is the state disease.",
++      "Oh, Georgia? The state that's just Florida's waiting room with worse beaches.",
++      "Georgia: Where everyone's either filming something or fleeing to the suburbs.",
++      "From Georgia? Let me guess, you're 'from Atlanta' but actually from Alpharetta.",
++      "Georgia: The only state where 'ITP vs OTP' is a personality trait.",
++      "Where 'culture' means trap music and traffic jams.",
++      "Georgia: Proof that having a busy airport doesn't make you important.",
++      "From Georgia? Your state's biggest export is reality TV drama and suburban sprawl.",
++      "Georgia: Where the heat is oppressive and the politics are regressive.",
++      "The state where everyone's a rapper, realtor, or racist uncle.",
++      "Georgia: Where Sherman should have burned more thoroughly.",
++      "From Georgia? You definitely have opinions about sweet tea and none about education.",
++      "Georgia: Because someone had to make Alabama feel sophisticated.",
++    ],
++    atlanta: [
++      "Atlanta? Where everyone's a rapper, entrepreneur, or lying about both.",
++      "From Atlanta? How's that 'Black Mecca' working with all that gentrification?",
++      "Atlanta: Where the traffic moves slower than the syrup at Waffle House.",
++      "Oh, Atlanta? The city that's just LA with humidity and worse drivers.",
++      "Atlanta: Where everyone's 'from Atlanta' but nobody's actually FROM Atlanta.",
++      "From Atlanta? Let me guess, you're stuck on 285 right now.",
++      "Atlanta: The only city where 'The Perimeter' is a psychological barrier.",
++      "Where 'culture' means strip clubs with wings and trap music.",
++      "Atlanta: The city too busy to hate but not too busy to gentrify.",
++      "From Atlanta? Your city's biggest achievement is convincing Hollywood that Georgia is cheap labor.",
++      "Atlanta: Where the BeltLine pushed out everyone who made the city interesting.",
++      "The city where everyone's in real estate because they can't afford real estate.",
++      "Atlanta: Where MARTA stands for 'Moving Africans Rapidly Through Atlanta' and white people pretend they don't know.",
++      "From Atlanta? You definitely have a Peachtree street story nobody wants to hear.",
++      "Atlanta: The only city where the airport is more functional than the government.",
++    ],
++    savannah: [
++      "Savannah? Where the ghosts have more life than the economy.",
++      "From Savannah? How's living in Georgia's haunted tourist trap?",
++      "Savannah: Where every building is 'historic' and every drink is overpriced.",
++      "Oh, Savannah? The city that's just Charleston's drunk, less successful cousin.",
++      "Savannah: Where SCAD students pretend poverty is aesthetic.",
++      "From Savannah? Let me guess, you give ghost tours or drink on River Street.",
++      "Savannah: The only city where cemetery tours outnumber job opportunities.",
++      "Where 'culture' means day drinking with tourists in squares.",
++      "Savannah: Proof that Spanish moss can't hide economic decay.",
++      "From Savannah? Your city's biggest export is ghost stories and art students' debt.",
++    ],
++    augusta: [
++      "Augusta? The city that only matters one week a year during the Masters.",
++      "From Augusta? How's living in Georgia's most forgettable city 51 weeks a year?",
++      "Augusta: Where the golf course is nicer than the entire rest of the city.",
++      "Oh, Augusta? The city that's just a really expensive golf tournament's parking lot.",
++      "Augusta: Where everyone either works at the medical college or wishes they did.",
++      "From Augusta? Let me guess, you've never actually been to the Masters.",
++      "Augusta: The only city where James Brown is still the most exciting thing.",
++      "Where 'culture' happens one week in April then hibernates.",
++      "Augusta: Proof that hosting a golf tournament doesn't make you relevant.",
++      "From Augusta? Your city's biggest achievement is being slightly better than Columbus.",
++    ],
++    columbus: [
++      "Columbus? Georgia's military town that Fort Benning forgot to improve.",
++      "From Columbus? How's being Georgia's third city that nobody remembers exists?",
++      "Columbus: Where soldiers train to leave as fast as possible.",
++      "Oh, Columbus? The city that's just Alabama with a Georgia zip code.",
++      "Columbus: Where the Chattahoochee is the most interesting resident.",
++      "From Columbus? Let me guess, you're military or serving the military.",
++      "Columbus: The only city where 'growth' means another pawn shop opened.",
++      "Where 'culture' means whatever the Army allows.",
++      "Columbus: Proof that military bases don't improve their surroundings.",
++      "From Columbus? Your city's biggest achievement is not being in Alabama, barely.",
++    ],
++    macon: [
++      "Macon? Where the music died and took the economy with it.",
++      "From Macon? How's living in Georgia's heart disease?",
++      "Macon: Where everyone claims music history but lives in poverty.",
++      "Oh, Macon? The city that's just a rest stop between Atlanta and nowhere.",
++      "Macon: Where the cherry blossoms can't cover the urban blight.",
++      "From Macon? Let me guess, you mention the Allman Brothers within 5 minutes of meeting anyone.",
++      "Macon: The only city where abandoned buildings outnumber occupied ones.",
++      "Where 'culture' means remembering when musicians lived there.",
++      "Macon: Proof that music heritage doesn't pay current bills.",
++      "From Macon? Your city's biggest export is nostalgia and people fleeing to Atlanta.",
++    ],
++  },
++
    // ARIZONA
    arizona: {
      generic: [
        "From Arizona? You definitely have strong opinions about the border and weak opinions about education.",
        "Arizona: Because someone had to make New Mexico look progressive.",
      ],
++    mesa: [
++      "Mesa? Phoenix's Mormon overflow tank.",
++      "From Mesa? How's living in Arizona's blandest suburb?",
++      "Mesa: Where the retirees are Mormon and the Mormons are retired.",
++      "Oh, Mesa? The city that's just Phoenix without the personality.",
++      "Mesa: Where everyone's either LDS or wishing the LDS would share their AC.",
++      "From Mesa? Let me guess, you have a temple recommend and a meth problem.",
++      "Mesa: The only city where sobriety is enforced but not enjoyed.",
++      "Where 'culture' means whatever the church approves.",
++      "Mesa: Proof that being big doesn't mean being interesting.",
++      "From Mesa? Your city's biggest achievement is having more churches than opportunities.",
++    ],
++    chandler: [
++      "Chandler? Where tech bros go to pretend they're still in Silicon Valley.",
++      "From Chandler? How's that Intel factory and strip mall lifestyle?",
++      "Chandler: Where everyone's in tech but nobody can tech their way out of suburbia.",
++      "Oh, Chandler? The city that's just Scottsdale for people with actual jobs.",
++      "Chandler: Where the only culture is corporate culture.",
++      "From Chandler? Let me guess, you're in tech and dead inside.",
++      "Chandler: The only city where innovation means a new chain restaurant.",
++      "Where 'diversity' means engineers from different countries.",
++      "Chandler: Proof that tech jobs can't fix suburban hell.",
++      "From Chandler? Your city's biggest achievement is convincing tech companies the desert makes sense.",
++    ],
++    glendale: [
++      "Glendale? Phoenix's sports arena parking lot.",
++      "From Glendale? How's living in Arizona's strip mall capital?",
++      "Glendale: Where the Cardinals play and culture goes to die.",
++      "Oh, Glendale? The city that exists because Phoenix ran out of room for stadiums.",
++      "Glendale: Where everyone's either selling cars or can't afford them.",
++      "From Glendale? Let me guess, you're stuck in traffic on the 101.",
++      "Glendale: The only city where 'entertainment district' means chain restaurants.",
++      "Where 'culture' happens eight times a year during football season.",
++      "Glendale: Proof that hosting Super Bowls doesn't make you super.",
++      "From Glendale? Your city's biggest achievement is being where Phoenix puts things it doesn't want.",
++    ],
      phoenix: [
        "Phoenix? A monument to man's arrogance in city form.",
        "From Phoenix? How's living in Satan's vacation home?",
        "Naples: Proof that money can't buy a personality.",
        "From Naples? Your city's biggest event is when someone under 65 visits.",
      ],
++    st_petersburg: [
++      "St. Pete? Tampa's artsy sister who thinks murals fix poverty.",
++      "From St. Pete? How's gentrification with a beach view treating you?",
++      "St. Petersburg: Where retirees and hipsters fight over the same overpriced real estate.",
++      "Oh, St. Pete? The city that's just Tampa with more pretension and worse parking.",
++      "St. Petersburg: Where everyone's either 75 or 25, no in between.",
++      "From St. Pete? Let me guess, you live in a 'transformed neighborhood' that locals can't afford anymore.",
++      "St. Pete: The only city where the Dali Museum is less surreal than housing prices.",
++      "Where 'culture' means whatever mural they painted over homeless camps.",
++      "St. Petersburg: Proof that being artsy doesn't mean being affordable.",
++      "From St. Pete? Your city's biggest achievement is convincing people it's better than Tampa.",
++    ],
++    daytona_beach: [
++      "Daytona Beach? Where spring break goes to get arrested.",
++      "From Daytona? How's living in Florida's skid mark?",
++      "Daytona Beach: Where NASCAR and meth have a beautiful marriage.",
++      "Oh, Daytona? The beach that's just a highway with sand.",
++      "Daytona Beach: Where you can drive on the beach because walking is for quitters.",
++      "From Daytona? Let me guess, you work Bike Week and hate your life the rest of the year.",
++      "Daytona: The only beach where tetanus shots are part of the experience.",
++      "Where 'culture' means biker gangs and belly shots.",
++      "Daytona Beach: Proof that not all beaches are paradise.",
++      "From Daytona? Your city's biggest export is DUIs and hepatitis.",
++    ],
++    pensacola: [
++      "Pensacola? Alabama's beach town that Florida got stuck with.",
++      "From Pensacola? How's living in the Redneck Riviera's capital?",
++      "Pensacola: Where the military keeps it barely civilized.",
++      "Oh, Pensacola? The city that's just LA (Lower Alabama) with sand.",
++      "Pensacola: Where everyone's either Navy or serving drinks to Navy.",
++      "From Pensacola? Let me guess, you're the only one in your family without a Confederate flag.",
++      "Pensacola: The only Florida city where sweet tea matters more than mojitos.",
++      "Where 'culture' means Civil War reenactments on the beach.",
++      "Pensacola: Proof that being in Florida doesn't make you Floridian.",
++      "From Pensacola? Your city's biggest achievement is having beaches despite being basically Alabama.",
++    ],
++    gainesville: [
++      "Gainesville? Where UF students pretend they're changing the world from a swamp.",
++      "From Gainesville? How's that college town surrounded by absolutely nothing?",
++      "Gainesville: Where everyone's a Gator or wishes they could leave.",
++      "Oh, Gainesville? The city that exists solely because someone put a university in a swamp.",
++      "Gainesville: Where game day is the only day that matters.",
++      "From Gainesville? Let me guess, you bleed orange and blue and work at Publix.",
++      "Gainesville: The only city where Tom Petty leaving made perfect sense.",
++      "Where 'culture' means whatever happens on University Avenue.",
++      "Gainesville: Proof that good universities can exist in terrible locations.",
++      "From Gainesville? Your city's biggest export is graduated students who never return.",
++    ],
    },
    // COLORADO (Expanded)
        "From Colorado? Your entire identity is elevation and THC percentage.",
        "Colorado: Where the mountains are beautiful and the people are insufferable.",
      ],
++    aurora: [
++      "Aurora? Denver's most diverse and most ignored suburb.",
++      "From Aurora? How's living in Colorado's forgotten city?",
++      "Aurora: Where Denver's immigrants and crime statistics live.",
++      "Oh, Aurora? The city that's just Denver's storage unit for poor people.",
++      "Aurora: Where everyone's working three jobs to live in Denver's shadow.",
++      "From Aurora? Let me guess, you tell people you're from Denver.",
++      "Aurora: The only city where diversity means everyone's equally struggling.",
++      "Where 'culture' is what immigrants brought because Aurora didn't have any.",
++      "Aurora: Proof that being next to Denver doesn't make you Denver.",
++      "From Aurora? Your city's biggest achievement is that theater shooting, unfortunately.",
++    ],
++    littleton: [
++      "Littleton? Where Columbine's shadow is longer than the mountains.",
++      "From Littleton? How's living in Colorado's most infamous suburb?",
++      "Littleton: Where everyone pretends it's just another Denver suburb.",
++      "Oh, Littleton? The city that's been 'healing' since 1999.",
++      "Littleton: Where the demographics are whiter than the snow.",
++      "From Littleton? Let me guess, you're tired of that one association.",
++      "Littleton: The only city where high school infamy overshadows everything.",
++      "Where 'moving forward' has been the motto for 25 years.",
++      "Littleton: Proof that tragedies define places forever.",
++      "From Littleton? Your city's biggest challenge is being known for its worst day.",
++    ],
++    pueblo: [
++      "Pueblo? Colorado's armpit with a steel mill cologne.",
++      "From Pueblo? How's living in Colorado's most forgotten city?",
++      "Pueblo: Where the cost of living is low because there's no reason to live there.",
++      "Oh, Pueblo? The city that makes Colorado Springs look progressive.",
++      "Pueblo: Where everyone's either retired military or wishing they were retired.",
++      "From Pueblo? Let me guess, you're explaining it's only two hours from Denver.",
++      "Pueblo: The only city where green chile is the only green thing thriving.",
++      "Where 'culture' means the state fair and sadness.",
++      "Pueblo: Proof that being in Colorado doesn't guarantee mountains or money.",
++      "From Pueblo? Your city's biggest achievement is cheaper housing nobody wants.",
++    ],
      denver: [
        "Denver? The city where everyone's a transplant but hates other transplants.",
        "From Denver? How's that 'mile high' personality working out at sea level?",
        "From Nevada? You definitely know someone who lost their house at a blackjack table.",
        "Nevada: Because someone had to make Utah look reasonable.",
      ],
++    summerlin: [
++      "Summerlin? Las Vegas's attempt at pretending it's not Las Vegas.",
++      "From Summerlin? How's living in Vegas's planned community delusion?",
++      "Summerlin: Where Vegas residents go to pretend they live in Orange County.",
++      "Oh, Summerlin? The suburb that's just desert with HOA fees.",
++      "Summerlin: Where everyone's retired or retired from thinking.",
++      "From Summerlin? Let me guess, you shop at Downtown Summerlin and call it culture.",
++      "Summerlin: The only place where beige is both the landscape and lifestyle.",
++      "Where 'community' means gates to keep out the rest of Vegas.",
++      "Summerlin: Proof that master planning can't plan personality.",
++      "From Summerlin? Your neighborhood's biggest achievement is not being the Strip.",
++    ],
++    north_las_vegas: [
++      "North Las Vegas? Where Vegas hides its poverty.",
++      "From North Vegas? How's living in Sin City's sin storage?",
++      "North Las Vegas: Where the casinos wouldn't dare build.",
++      "Oh, North Vegas? The city that's just Vegas's bad neighborhood with its own mayor.",
++      "North Las Vegas: Where everyone's struggling but the struggle isn't glamorous.",
++      "From North Vegas? Let me guess, you tell people you're from 'Vegas area'.",
++      "North Las Vegas: The only part of Vegas where what happens there, nobody cares.",
++      "Where 'entertainment' means not getting robbed.",
++      "North Las Vegas: Proof that not all of Vegas glitters.",
++      "From North Vegas? Your city's biggest achievement is having lower rent and lower everything else.",
++    ],
      las_vegas: [
        "Las Vegas? Where dignity goes to die in neon lights.",
        "From Vegas? How's living in Satan's snow globe?",
        "From Illinois? You definitely have opinions about which suburb is 'basically Chicago'.",
        "Illinois: Because someone had to make Indiana look good.",
      ],
++    joliet: [
++      "Joliet? Where Chicago's prison overflow goes to live.",
++      "From Joliet? How's living in Illinois's most famous correctional facility?",
++      "Joliet: Where everyone's either been to prison or works at one.",
++      "Oh, Joliet? The city that's just Chicago's detention center.",
++      "Joliet: Where the Blues Brothers reference is the only cultural highlight.",
++      "From Joliet? Let me guess, you're in corrections or need corrections.",
++      "Joliet: The only city where 'Penn State' means penitentiary.",
++      "Where 'culture' is whatever happens between lockdowns.",
++      "Joliet: Proof that some cities are just minimum security.",
++      "From Joliet? Your city's biggest achievement is being mentioned in a movie 40 years ago.",
++    ],
++    naperville: [
++      "Naperville? Where Chicago's blandest go to multiply.",
++      "From Naperville? How's that suburban perfection hiding suburban depression?",
++      "Naperville: Where diversity means different shades of beige.",
++      "Oh, Naperville? The city that's just a giant HOA with delusions.",
++      "Naperville: Where everyone's kids are 'gifted' and everyone's miserable.",
++      "From Naperville? Let me guess, you drive a minivan to your soul-crushing job.",
++      "Naperville: The only city where excitement is banned by city ordinance.",
++      "Where 'culture' means the Ribfest once a year.",
++      "Naperville: Proof that safe doesn't mean interesting.",
++      "From Naperville? Your city's biggest achievement is consistently ranking as 'safest' because nothing happens.",
++    ],
++    evanston: [
++      "Evanston? Chicago's liberal guilt concentrated into one suburb.",
++      "From Evanston? How's that Northwestern degree working in your barista job?",
++      "Evanston: Where everyone's progressive until it affects property values.",
++      "Oh, Evanston? The city that's just Chicago's overpriced liberal arts college.",
++      "Evanston: Where diversity is celebrated from behind locked doors.",
++      "From Evanston? Let me guess, you have opinions about everything and solutions for nothing.",
++      "Evanston: The only suburb where white guilt has its own zip code.",
++      "Where 'culture' means whatever Northwestern students bring before leaving.",
++      "Evanston: Proof that education doesn't prevent NIMBYism.",
++      "From Evanston? Your city's biggest achievement is being woke while being broke.",
++    ],
      aurora: [
        "Aurora? Chicago's suburb that Wayne's World mocked into existence.",
        "From Aurora? How's being excellent to each other in mediocrity?",
        "From Michigan? Your state is just Canada's ashtray.",
        "Michigan: Where hope goes to rust.",
      ],
++    kalamazoo: [
++      "Kalamazoo? The city with a silly name and serious depression.",
++      "From Kalamazoo? How's living in Michigan's pharmaceutical experiment?",
++      "Kalamazoo: Where everyone's either making pills or taking them.",
++      "Oh, Kalamazoo? The city that sounds like a children's song but feels like a funeral.",
++      "Kalamazoo: Where Western Michigan University is Eastern Nowhere.",
++      "From Kalamazoo? Let me guess, you work for Pfizer or a bar serving Pfizer workers.",
++      "Kalamazoo: The only city where the Promise scholarship can't promise you'll stay.",
++      "Where 'culture' means whatever the college kids bring for four years.",
++      "Kalamazoo: Proof that funny names don't make funny cities.",
++      "From Kalamazoo? Your city's biggest achievement is that scholarship funded by guilt.",
++    ],
++    sterling_heights: [
++      "Sterling Heights? Detroit's suburb where dreams go to get a mortgage.",
++      "From Sterling Heights? How's that strip mall capital of Michigan?",
++      "Sterling Heights: Where diversity means different types of chain restaurants.",
++      "Oh, Sterling Heights? The city that's just Warren's even more boring twin.",
++      "Sterling Heights: Where everyone's Chaldean or confused about what that means.",
++      "From Sterling Heights? Let me guess, you're in automotive supply or retail hell.",
++      "Sterling Heights: The only city where 'Big Beaver' is a real exit and the most exciting thing.",
++      "Where 'culture' is whatever's on sale at Somerset Mall.",
++      "Sterling Heights: Proof that suburbs can sprawl without purpose.",
++      "From Sterling Heights? Your city's biggest achievement is being slightly nicer than Warren.",
++    ],
      detroit: [
        "Detroit? The city that makes Mad Max look like a documentary.",
        "From Detroit? How's it feel living in America's biggest abandoned building?",