@@ -3,7 +3,1608 @@ export const roastDatabase = { |
| 3 | 3 | // MASSACHUSETTS |
| 4 | 4 | massachusetts: { |
| 5 | 5 | generic: [ |
| 6 | | - "Oh, Massachusetts? Where everyone thinks they're wicked smaht but can't pronounce the letter R to save their lives.", |
| 6 | + "Oh, Bangladesh? The country that makes India's poverty look manageable.", |
| 7 | + "Bangladesh: Where climate change and corruption race to destroy the country first.", |
| 8 | + "From Bangladesh? Let me guess, you're in Dhaka or wishing you weren't.", |
| 9 | + "Bangladesh: The only country where being underwater is both literal and economic.", |
| 10 | + "Where 'development' means another garment factory collapse.", |
| 11 | + "Bangladesh: Proof that independence doesn't guarantee prosperity.", |
| 12 | + "From Bangladesh? Your country's biggest export is cheap clothes and broken dreams." |
| 13 | + ], |
| 14 | + dhaka: [ |
| 15 | + "Dhaka? Where traffic doesn't move and neither does progress.", |
| 16 | + "From Dhaka? How's living in the world's most densely packed disappointment?", |
| 17 | + "Dhaka: Where rickshaws move faster than the government.", |
| 18 | + "Oh, Dhaka? The city that makes Mumbai look spacious.", |
| 19 | + "Dhaka: Where everyone's stuck in traffic thinking about leaving.", |
| 20 | + "From Dhaka? Let me guess, your commute is longer than your sleep.", |
| 21 | + "Dhaka: The only capital where flooding is urban planning.", |
| 22 | + "Where 'infrastructure' is a word nobody can spell.", |
| 23 | + "Dhaka: Proof that density doesn't create efficiency.", |
| 24 | + "From Dhaka? Your city's biggest achievement is making other Asian capitals look organized." |
| 25 | + ] |
| 26 | + }, |
| 27 | + |
| 28 | + // SRI LANKA |
| 29 | + srilanka: { |
| 30 | + generic: [ |
| 31 | + "Sri Lanka? Where the paradise got repossessed by China.", |
| 32 | + "From Sri Lanka? How's that economic collapse treating your rupee?", |
| 33 | + "Sri Lanka: Where politicians bankrupted paradise.", |
| 34 | + "Oh, Sri Lanka? The country that sold its ports to pay for vanity projects.", |
| 35 | + "Sri Lanka: Where everyone's fleeing to the Middle East for work.", |
| 36 | + "From Sri Lanka? Let me guess, you're rationing fuel and hope.", |
| 37 | + "Sri Lanka: The only country that managed to fail with perfect geography.", |
| 38 | + "Where 'development' meant debt traps disguised as infrastructure.", |
| 39 | + "Sri Lanka: Proof that beauty can't overcome corruption.", |
| 40 | + "From Sri Lanka? Your country's biggest export is people seeking economic refuge." |
| 41 | + ], |
| 42 | + colombo: [ |
| 43 | + "Colombo? Where the port is Chinese and the people are broke.", |
| 44 | + "From Colombo? How's being the capital of a bankrupt paradise?", |
| 45 | + "Colombo: Where every development project is a debt to China.", |
| 46 | + "Oh, Colombo? The city that sold its soul for a lotus tower.", |
| 47 | + "Colombo: Where everyone's planning their escape to Dubai.", |
| 48 | + "From Colombo? Let me guess, you're in a fuel queue right now.", |
| 49 | + "Colombo: The only capital where power cuts are more reliable than power.", |
| 50 | + "Where 'progress' means another Chinese loan.", |
| 51 | + "Colombo: Proof that coastal beauty can't pay debts.", |
| 52 | + "From Colombo? Your city's biggest achievement is making the IMF feel needed." |
| 53 | + ] |
| 54 | + }, |
| 55 | + |
| 56 | + // NEPAL |
| 57 | + nepal: { |
| 58 | + generic: [ |
| 59 | + "Nepal? Where the mountains are high and the GDP is subterranean.", |
| 60 | + "From Nepal? How's being India's forgotten backyard?", |
| 61 | + "Nepal: Where everyone's either a guide or guided by poverty.", |
| 62 | + "Oh, Nepal? The country that's just Everest's base camp.", |
| 63 | + "Nepal: Where political instability is more consistent than electricity.", |
| 64 | + "From Nepal? Let me guess, you're in tourism or wishing tourists would come back.", |
| 65 | + "Nepal: The only country where the gods live higher than the GDP.", |
| 66 | + "Where 'development' means another hydropower project that won't work.", |
| 67 | + "Nepal: Proof that beautiful mountains can't feed people.", |
| 68 | + "From Nepal? Your country's biggest export is Gurkhas and good intentions." |
| 69 | + ], |
| 70 | + kathmandu: [ |
| 71 | + "Kathmandu? Where the temples are ancient and so is the infrastructure.", |
| 72 | + "From Kathmandu? How's living in a valley that's literally and figuratively stuck?", |
| 73 | + "Kathmandu: Where pollution competes with altitude for breathlessness.", |
| 74 | + "Oh, Kathmandu? The city that's just a dusty museum with traffic.", |
| 75 | + "Kathmandu: Where everyone's spiritual but nobody can afford enlightenment.", |
| 76 | + "From Kathmandu? Let me guess, you wear a mask for dust, not disease.", |
| 77 | + "Kathmandu: The only capital where earthquakes do urban planning.", |
| 78 | + "Where 'development' means rebuilding what fell down last time.", |
| 79 | + "Kathmandu: Proof that being spiritual doesn't pay bills.", |
| 80 | + "From Kathmandu? Your city's biggest achievement is surviving between disasters." |
| 81 | + ] |
| 82 | + }, |
| 83 | + |
| 84 | + // MOROCCO |
| 85 | + morocco: { |
| 86 | + generic: [ |
| 87 | + "Morocco? Where the king has a palace in every city while people live in slums.", |
| 88 | + "From Morocco? How's that monarchy treating your freedom of speech?", |
| 89 | + "Morocco: Where hash is the biggest export after phosphates.", |
| 90 | + "Oh, Morocco? The country pretending to be European while in Africa.", |
| 91 | + "Morocco: Where French is spoken better than human rights.", |
| 92 | + "From Morocco? Let me guess, you're in tourism or unemployed.", |
| 93 | + "Morocco: The only African country with an identity crisis.", |
| 94 | + "Where 'culture' gets sold to tourists in the medina.", |
| 95 | + "Morocco: Proof that being close to Europe doesn't make you European.", |
| 96 | + "From Morocco? Your country's biggest export is hash and brain drain to France." |
| 97 | + ], |
| 98 | + casablanca: [ |
| 99 | + "Casablanca? Where the movie is more interesting than the city.", |
| 100 | + "From Casablanca? How's living in Morocco's concrete disappointment?", |
| 101 | + "Casablanca: Where romance died with urban planning.", |
| 102 | + "Oh, Casablanca? The city that's just Marseille's uglier cousin.", |
| 103 | + "Casablanca: Where everyone works in phosphates or poverty.", |
| 104 | + "From Casablanca? Let me guess, you dream of the Casablanca from the movie.", |
| 105 | + "Casablanca: The only city where the name is the best part.", |
| 106 | + "Where 'culture' went to die in traffic.", |
| 107 | + "Casablanca: Proof that famous names don't make famous cities.", |
| 108 | + "From Casablanca? Your city's biggest achievement is disappointing tourists expecting romance." |
| 109 | + ], |
| 110 | + marrakech: [ |
| 111 | + "Marrakech? Where Instagram influencers go to exploit culture.", |
| 112 | + "From Marrakech? How's watching your city become a European playground?", |
| 113 | + "Marrakech: Where every riad is owned by foreigners pricing out locals.", |
| 114 | + "Oh, Marrakech? The city that sold its soul for tourist dollars.", |
| 115 | + "Marrakech: Where authenticity is performed hourly for tips.", |
| 116 | + "From Marrakech? Let me guess, you work in tourism and hate tourists.", |
| 117 | + "Marrakech: The only city where snake charmers have MBAs.", |
| 118 | + "Where 'culture' is whatever tourists will pay to see.", |
| 119 | + "Marrakech: Proof that tourism kills what it claims to preserve.", |
| 120 | + "From Marrakech? Your city's biggest export is 'authentic' experiences for people who Instagram them." |
| 121 | + ] |
| 122 | + }, |
| 123 | + |
| 124 | + // KENYA |
| 125 | + kenya: { |
| 126 | + generic: [ |
| 127 | + "Kenya? Where politicians are richer than the country they're looting.", |
| 128 | + "From Kenya? How's that corruption treating your shillings?", |
| 129 | + "Kenya: Where everyone's an entrepreneur because employment is mythical.", |
| 130 | + "Oh, Kenya? The country that's just a safari with a flag.", |
| 131 | + "Kenya: Where M-Pesa works better than the government.", |
| 132 | + "From Kenya? Let me guess, you're in tech or trying to leave.", |
| 133 | + "Kenya: The only country where mobile money is more stable than banks.", |
| 134 | + "Where 'development' means another mall for the middle class.", |
| 135 | + "Kenya: Proof that innovation can't overcome corruption.", |
| 136 | + "From Kenya? Your country's biggest export is marathon runners and broken promises." |
| 137 | + ], |
| 138 | + nairobi: [ |
| 139 | + "Nairobi? Where Silicon Savannah meets African reality.", |
| 140 | + "From Nairobi? How's living in traffic with delusions of being Africa's tech hub?", |
| 141 | + "Nairobi: Where everyone's a CEO of an app that doesn't work.", |
| 142 | + "Oh, Nairobi? The city that's just traffic jams with aspirations.", |
| 143 | + "Nairobi: Where the matatus are more organized than the government.", |
| 144 | + "From Nairobi? Let me guess, you're stuck in traffic on Thika Road.", |
| 145 | + "Nairobi: The only capital where 'Nairobbery' is the nickname.", |
| 146 | + "Where 'innovation' means another money transfer app.", |
| 147 | + "Nairobi: Proof that calling yourself Silicon Savannah doesn't make it true.", |
| 148 | + "From Nairobi? Your city's biggest achievement is M-Pesa, and that was 15 years ago." |
| 149 | + ] |
| 150 | + }, |
| 151 | + |
| 152 | + // ETHIOPIA |
| 153 | + ethiopia: { |
| 154 | + generic: [ |
| 155 | + "Ethiopia? Where the calendar is 7 years behind and development is 70.", |
| 156 | + "From Ethiopia? How's that ethnic conflict seasoned with famine?", |
| 157 | + "Ethiopia: Where everyone's proud of never being colonized while being underdeveloped.", |
| 158 | + "Oh, Ethiopia? The country that's just aid organizations and ancient churches.", |
| 159 | + "Ethiopia: Where the coffee is great but you can't afford to drink it.", |
| 160 | + "From Ethiopia? Let me guess, you're fleeing conflict or economic collapse.", |
| 161 | + "Ethiopia: The only country where pride in history can't feed the present.", |
| 162 | + "Where 'growth' means building a dam while people starve.", |
| 163 | + "Ethiopia: Proof that avoiding colonization doesn't guarantee success.", |
| 164 | + "From Ethiopia? Your country's biggest export is coffee and refugees." |
| 165 | + ], |
| 166 | + addis_ababa: [ |
| 167 | + "Addis? Where the AU headquarters is the nicest building by far.", |
| 168 | + "From Addis? How's living in Africa's diplomatic capital with no diplomacy?", |
| 169 | + "Addis Ababa: Where altitude is higher than the standard of living.", |
| 170 | + "Oh, Addis? The city that's just NGO headquarters and poverty.", |
| 171 | + "Addis Ababa: Where everyone's in development but nothing develops.", |
| 172 | + "From Addis? Let me guess, you work for an NGO or wish you did.", |
| 173 | + "Addis: The only capital where donkeys share roads with diplomats.", |
| 174 | + "Where 'progress' means another Chinese-built project.", |
| 175 | + "Addis Ababa: Proof that hosting the AU doesn't make you important.", |
| 176 | + "From Addis? Your city's biggest achievement is being high enough to avoid some disasters." |
| 177 | + ] |
| 178 | + }, |
| 179 | + |
| 180 | + // GHANA |
| 181 | + ghana: { |
| 182 | + generic: [ |
| 183 | + "Ghana? Where the year of return became the year of reality check.", |
| 184 | + "From Ghana? How's that beacon of African democracy with rolling blackouts?", |
| 185 | + "Ghana: Where everyone's an entrepreneur selling the same things.", |
| 186 | + "Oh, Ghana? The country coasting on being stable by African standards.", |
| 187 | + "Ghana: Where diasporans come to be disappointed by reality.", |
| 188 | + "From Ghana? Let me guess, you're in Accra or wishing you were abroad.", |
| 189 | + "Ghana: The only country where 'dumsor' is both a word and a lifestyle.", |
| 190 | + "Where 'development' means another mall in Accra.", |
| 191 | + "Ghana: Proof that stability doesn't equal prosperity.", |
| 192 | + "From Ghana? Your country's biggest export is false hope to African Americans." |
| 193 | + ], |
| 194 | + accra: [ |
| 195 | + "Accra? Where traffic is slower than government progress.", |
| 196 | + "From Accra? How's living in West Africa's most overrated capital?", |
| 197 | + "Accra: Where everyone's hustling but nobody's moving.", |
| 198 | + "Oh, Accra? The city that's just heat, traffic, and disappointed returnees.", |
| 199 | + "Accra: Where the beaches are dirty and the prices are clean out of reach.", |
| 200 | + "From Accra? Let me guess, you're stuck in traffic thinking about leaving.", |
| 201 | + "Accra: The only capital where 'go slow' means traffic and life.", |
| 202 | + "Where 'culture' is performed for diasporans seeking identity.", |
| 203 | + "Accra: Proof that being peaceful doesn't mean being prosperous.", |
| 204 | + "From Accra? Your city's biggest achievement is convincing African Americans it's paradise." |
| 205 | + ] |
| 206 | + }, |
| 207 | + |
| 208 | + // ZIMBABWE |
| 209 | + zimbabwe: { |
| 210 | + generic: [ |
| 211 | + "Zimbabwe? Where trillion dollar bills couldn't buy bread.", |
| 212 | + "From Zimbabwe? How's using USD because your currency is a meme?", |
| 213 | + "Zimbabwe: Where everyone's a billionaire but still broke.", |
| 214 | + "Oh, Zimbabwe? The country that went from breadbasket to basket case.", |
| 215 | + "Zimbabwe: Where the land reform reformed nothing but property rights.", |
| 216 | + "From Zimbabwe? Let me guess, you're in South Africa or trying to get there.", |
| 217 | + "Zimbabwe: The only country where inflation broke mathematics.", |
| 218 | + "Where 'sovereignty' means starving independently.", |
| 219 | + "Zimbabwe: Proof that you can ruin a good thing spectacularly.", |
| 220 | + "From Zimbabwe? Your country's biggest export is economic refugees and cautionary tales." |
| 221 | + ], |
| 222 | + harare: [ |
| 223 | + "Harare? Where the sunshine is constant but electricity isn't.", |
| 224 | + "From Harare? How's living in a capital that peaked in 1980?", |
| 225 | + "Harare: Where everyone has a degree but no jobs exist.", |
| 226 | + "Oh, Harare? The city that's just Borrowdale and poverty.", |
| 227 | + "Harare: Where fuel queues are longer than job queues.", |
| 228 | + "From Harare? Let me guess, you're trading forex on the black market.", |
| 229 | + "Harare: The only capital where nostalgia is the main industry.", |
| 230 | + "Where 'development' means remembering when things worked.", |
| 231 | + "Harare: Proof that capitals can go backwards.", |
| 232 | + "From Harare? Your city's biggest achievement is making Bulawayo look good." |
| 233 | + ] |
| 234 | + }, |
| 235 | + |
| 236 | + // TANZANIA |
| 237 | + tanzania: { |
| 238 | + generic: [ |
| 239 | + "Tanzania? Where Kilimanjaro is the highest point literally and figuratively.", |
| 240 | + "From Tanzania? How's that development at pole pole speed?", |
| 241 | + "Tanzania: Where everyone's in safari tourism or subsistence farming.", |
| 242 | + "Oh, Tanzania? The country that's just a stopover to Zanzibar.", |
| 243 | + "Tanzania: Where Swahili time means nothing happens on time.", |
| 244 | + "From Tanzania? Let me guess, you work in tourism or NGOs.", |
| 245 | + "Tanzania: The only country where socialism failed so quietly nobody noticed.", |
| 246 | + "Where 'progress' moves at the speed of a government office.", |
| 247 | + "Tanzania: Proof that natural beauty doesn't build economies.", |
| 248 | + "From Tanzania? Your country's biggest export is safari photos and brain drain." |
| 249 | + ], |
| 250 | + dar_es_salaam: [ |
| 251 | + "Dar? Where the heat is more oppressive than the government.", |
| 252 | + "From Dar? How's living in a capital that Dodoma replaced but forgot?", |
| 253 | + "Dar es Salaam: Where everyone's sweating through traffic to nowhere.", |
| 254 | + "Oh, Dar? The city that's just humidity and disappointed expectations.", |
| 255 | + "Dar es Salaam: Where the port works better than everything else.", |
| 256 | + "From Dar? Let me guess, you're in traffic wishing you were in Zanzibar.", |
| 257 | + "Dar: The only city where 'salaam' is ironic given the chaos.", |
| 258 | + "Where 'development' means another half-finished project.", |
| 259 | + "Dar es Salaam: Proof that coastal cities can still be boring.", |
| 260 | + "From Dar? Your city's biggest achievement is not being the capital anymore." |
| 261 | + ] |
| 262 | + }, |
| 263 | + |
| 264 | + // UGANDA |
| 265 | + uganda: { |
| 266 | + generic: [ |
| 267 | + "Uganda? Where the pearl of Africa needs serious polishing.", |
| 268 | + "From Uganda? How's that president-for-life situation working out?", |
| 269 | + "Uganda: Where everyone's young because the government is ancient.", |
| 270 | + "Oh, Uganda? The country that's just Kampala and problems.", |
| 271 | + "Uganda: Where homophobia is government policy and development isn't.", |
| 272 | + "From Uganda? Let me guess, you're under 30 and underemployed.", |
| 273 | + "Uganda: The only country where the president has been in power longer than most citizens have been alive.", |
| 274 | + "Where 'democracy' is a word in the constitution nobody reads.", |
| 275 | + "Uganda: Proof that natural resources can't overcome bad leadership.", |
| 276 | + "From Uganda? Your country's biggest export is frustrated youth and Nile perch." |
| 277 | + ], |
| 278 | + kampala: [ |
| 279 | + "Kampala? Built on seven hills and fourteen types of chaos.", |
| 280 | + "From Kampala? How's living in Africa's most congested disappointment?", |
| 281 | + "Kampala: Where boda bodas are more organized than the government.", |
| 282 | + "Oh, Kampala? The city that's just traffic jams and NGO Land Cruisers.", |
| 283 | + "Kampala: Where everyone's hustling because formal employment is a myth.", |
| 284 | + "From Kampala? Let me guess, you're stuck in jam on Entebbe Road.", |
| 285 | + "Kampala: The only capital where potholes have potholes.", |
| 286 | + "Where 'planning' is a foreign concept and traffic lights are suggestions.", |
| 287 | + "Kampala: Proof that being on hills doesn't give you the high ground.", |
| 288 | + "From Kampala? Your city's biggest achievement is making Nairobi traffic look manageable." |
| 289 | + ] |
| 290 | + }, |
| 291 | + |
| 292 | + // ZAMBIA |
| 293 | + zambia: { |
| 294 | + generic: [ |
| 295 | + "Zambia? Where the copper left but the poverty stayed.", |
| 296 | + "From Zambia? How's that commodity curse treating you?", |
| 297 | + "Zambia: Where everyone's peaceful because they're too tired to fight.", |
| 298 | + "Oh, Zambia? The country that's just a transit route to somewhere better.", |
| 299 | + "Zambia: Where load shedding is more reliable than electricity.", |
| 300 | + "From Zambia? Let me guess, you're in mining or wishing mining still paid.", |
| 301 | + "Zambia: The only country where Victoria Falls can't wash away the problems.", |
| 302 | + "Where 'development' means another Chinese loan.", |
| 303 | + "Zambia: Proof that being peaceful doesn't pay bills.", |
| 304 | + "From Zambia? Your country's biggest export is copper and educated people to other countries." |
| 305 | + ], |
| 306 | + lusaka: [ |
| 307 | + "Lusaka? Where the malls are nicer than the infrastructure.", |
| 308 | + "From Lusaka? How's living in a capital that feels like a large village?", |
| 309 | + "Lusaka: Where everyone's in a Land Cruiser because the roads eat small cars.", |
| 310 | + "Oh, Lusaka? The city that's just sprawl without the urban.", |
| 311 | + "Lusaka: Where load shedding schedules are more reliable than government.", |
| 312 | + "From Lusaka? Let me guess, you're at a mall because where else is there?", |
| 313 | + "Lusaka: The only capital where 'central business district' is an oxymoron.", |
| 314 | + "Where 'planning' means building wherever there's space.", |
| 315 | + "Lusaka: Proof that capitals don't need character.", |
| 316 | + "From Lusaka? Your city's biggest achievement is having South African shops." |
| 317 | + ] |
| 318 | + }, |
| 319 | + |
| 320 | + // ANTARCTICA |
| 321 | + antarctica: { |
| 322 | + generic: [ |
| 323 | + "Antarctica? Where the penguins have more personality than the researchers.", |
| 324 | + "From Antarctica? How's that ice-olation treating your social skills?", |
| 325 | + "Antarctica: Where global warming is job security.", |
| 326 | + "Oh, Antarctica? The continent that's literally cooler than you.", |
| 327 | + "Antarctica: Where everyone's either a scientist or a penguin, and the penguins are more interesting.", |
| 328 | + "From Antarctica? Let me guess, you're fleeing from society or studying ice.", |
| 329 | + "Antarctica: The only continent where the population drops when it gets cold.", |
| 330 | + "Where 'neighbor' means someone 500 miles away at another research station.", |
| 331 | + "Antarctica: Proof that humans will live anywhere to avoid other humans.", |
| 332 | + "From Antarctica? Your continent's biggest export is climate change data everyone ignores." |
| 333 | + ] |
| 334 | + }, |
| 335 | + |
| 336 | + // GREENLAND |
| 337 | + greenland: { |
| 338 | + generic: [ |
| 339 | + "Greenland? The biggest lie in geographic naming history.", |
| 340 | + "From Greenland? How's living in Iceland's less interesting, larger cousin?", |
| 341 | + "Greenland: Where there's more ice than green and more depression than ice.", |
| 342 | + "Oh, Greenland? The island that's just Denmark's forgotten freezer.", |
| 343 | + "Greenland: Where the population is smaller than a medium-sized town.", |
| 344 | + "From Greenland? Let me guess, you're related to everyone else there.", |
| 345 | + "Greenland: The only place where melting is economic development.", |
| 346 | + "Where 'infrastructure' means hoping the ice road doesn't melt this year.", |
| 347 | + "Greenland: Proof that size doesn't matter when you're frozen.", |
| 348 | + "From Greenland? Your island's biggest achievement is tricking Trump into wanting to buy it." |
| 349 | + ] |
| 350 | + }, |
| 351 | + |
| 352 | + // MALTA |
| 353 | + malta: { |
| 354 | + generic: [ |
| 355 | + "Malta? Where the blockchain scams have more substance than the island.", |
| 356 | + "From Malta? How's living on Europe's money laundering pebble?", |
| 357 | + "Malta: Where everyone's in online gambling or facilitating tax evasion.", |
| 358 | + "Oh, Malta? The island that's just Sicily's kidney stone.", |
| 359 | + "Malta: Where EU passports are for sale and journalism is dangerous.", |
| 360 | + "From Malta? Let me guess, you work in 'gaming' which means online casinos.", |
| 361 | + "Malta: The only country where car bombs are investigative journalism.", |
| 362 | + "Where 'culture' means charging tourists to see old stones.", |
| 363 | + "Malta: Proof that being small doesn't mean being insignificant to criminals.", |
| 364 | + "From Malta? Your country's biggest export is shady financial services and dead journalists." |
| 365 | + ] |
| 366 | + }, |
| 367 | + |
| 368 | + // CYPRUS |
| 369 | + cyprus: { |
| 370 | + generic: [ |
| 371 | + "Cyprus? The island that's been divided longer than your parents' marriage.", |
| 372 | + "From Cyprus? How's that permanent temporary solution working out?", |
| 373 | + "Cyprus: Where the beaches are beautiful and the politics are ugly.", |
| 374 | + "Oh, Cyprus? The island that's just Greece and Turkey's custody battle.", |
| 375 | + "Cyprus: Where everyone's a lawyer or in money laundering, often both.", |
| 376 | + "From Cyprus? Let me guess, you're explaining which side you're from.", |
| 377 | + "Cyprus: The only EU country that's literally broken.", |
| 378 | + "Where 'reunification' has been coming soon for 50 years.", |
| 379 | + "Cyprus: Proof that islands can have identity crises too.", |
| 380 | + "From Cyprus? Your island's biggest achievement is making division profitable." |
| 381 | + ] |
| 382 | + }, |
| 383 | + |
| 384 | + // ICELAND |
| 385 | + iceland: { |
| 386 | + generic: [ |
| 387 | + "Iceland? Where the volcanoes have more warmth than the people.", |
| 388 | + "From Iceland? How's that seasonal depression in permanent winter?", |
| 389 | + "Iceland: Where everyone's related and the dating apps check for it.", |
| 390 | + "Oh, Iceland? The country that's just expensive emptiness with geysers.", |
| 391 | + "Iceland: Where the population fits in a stadium and the prices don't fit any budget.", |
| 392 | + "From Iceland? Let me guess, you're in tourism or fishing, the only two options.", |
| 393 | + "Iceland: The only country where Northern Lights can't brighten the mood.", |
| 394 | + "Where 'culture' means fermented shark and disappointment.", |
| 395 | + "Iceland: Proof that natural beauty can't warm up cold personalities.", |
| 396 | + "From Iceland? Your country's biggest export is Björk and bankruptcy." |
| 397 | + ], |
| 398 | + reykjavik: [ |
| 399 | + "Reykjavik? Where the nightlife is legendary because there's nothing else to do.", |
| 400 | + "From Reykjavik? How's living in the world's most northern disappointment?", |
| 401 | + "Reykjavik: Where everyone knows everyone, unfortunately.", |
| 402 | + "Oh, Reykjavik? The capital that's just colorful houses hiding gray lives.", |
| 403 | + "Reykjavik: Where the bars are full because home is depressing.", |
| 404 | + "From Reykjavik? Let me guess, you're drunk to forget you live there.", |
| 405 | + "Reykjavik: The only capital where summer is a day in July.", |
| 406 | + "Where 'culture' means drinking until the sun comes up at 3 AM.", |
| 407 | + "Reykjavik: Proof that being quirky doesn't mean being interesting.", |
| 408 | + "From Reykjavik? Your city's biggest achievement is convincing tourists it's worth visiting." |
| 409 | + ] |
| 410 | + }, |
| 411 | + |
| 412 | + // LUXEMBOURG |
| 413 | + luxembourg: { |
| 414 | + generic: [ |
| 415 | + "Luxembourg? Where the banks are bigger than the country.", |
| 416 | + "From Luxembourg? How's living in Europe's money laundering drive-through?", |
| 417 | + "Luxembourg: Where everyone's in finance or serving those in finance.", |
| 418 | + "Oh, Luxembourg? The country that's just Belgium's rich tax haven.", |
| 419 | + "Luxembourg: Where the GDP per capita is high because the capita is low.", |
| 420 | + "From Luxembourg? Let me guess, you're in banking or pretending you're not.", |
| 421 | + "Luxembourg: The only country where crossing it is faster than parking.", |
| 422 | + "Where 'culture' means whatever three banks can sponsor.", |
| 423 | + "Luxembourg: Proof that small countries can have big accounts.", |
| 424 | + "From Luxembourg? Your country's biggest achievement is making tax avoidance look respectable." |
| 425 | + ] |
| 426 | + }, |
| 427 | + |
| 428 | + // MONACO |
| 429 | + monaco: { |
| 430 | + generic: [ |
| 431 | + "Monaco? Where the cars cost more than most countries' GDP.", |
| 432 | + "From Monaco? How's living in a tax haven the size of a parking lot?", |
| 433 | + "Monaco: Where everyone's either a millionaire or serving millionaires.", |
| 434 | + "Oh, Monaco? The country that's just a casino with a flag.", |
| 435 | + "Monaco: Where the yachts are bigger than the country.", |
| 436 | + "From Monaco? Let me guess, you're in debt maintaining appearances.", |
| 437 | + "Monaco: The only country where the royal family has more members than citizens.", |
| 438 | + "Where 'culture' means the Grand Prix and gambling.", |
| 439 | + "Monaco: Proof that money can buy you a country but not class.", |
| 440 | + "From Monaco? Your country's biggest export is Instagram posts and tax avoidance." |
| 441 | + ] |
| 442 | + }, |
| 443 | + |
| 444 | + // LIECHTENSTEIN |
| 445 | + liechtenstein: { |
| 446 | + generic: [ |
| 447 | + "Liechtenstein? The country that sounds made up because it basically is.", |
| 448 | + "From Liechtenstein? How's living in Switzerland's garage?", |
| 449 | + "Liechtenstein: Where there are more companies registered than people.", |
| 450 | + "Oh, Liechtenstein? The country that's just a tax loophole with a prince.", |
| 451 | + "Liechtenstein: Where everyone works in finance or dentures, seriously.", |
| 452 | + "From Liechtenstein? Let me guess, you're explaining where it is for the thousandth time.", |
| 453 | + "Liechtenstein: The only country you can accidentally walk through.", |
| 454 | + "Where 'culture' is whatever Switzerland didn't want.", |
| 455 | + "Liechtenstein: Proof that you can be a country with fewer people than a concert.", |
| 456 | + "From Liechtenstein? Your country's biggest achievement is existing despite no one knowing where." |
| 457 | + ] |
| 458 | + }, |
| 459 | + |
| 460 | + // ANDORRA |
| 461 | + andorra: { |
| 462 | + generic: [ |
| 463 | + "Andorra? Where duty-free shopping is the entire economy.", |
| 464 | + "From Andorra? How's living in Europe's strip mall?", |
| 465 | + "Andorra: Where everyone's dodging taxes or selling to those who are.", |
| 466 | + "Oh, Andorra? The country that's just a road between France and Spain.", |
| 467 | + "Andorra: Where the mountains are high and the taxes are low.", |
| 468 | + "From Andorra? Let me guess, you're in 'import/export' which means tax evasion.", |
| 469 | + "Andorra: The only country where cigarette smuggling is economic policy.", |
| 470 | + "Where 'culture' means whatever tourists buy duty-free.", |
| 471 | + "Andorra: Proof that being between two countries doesn't make you one.", |
| 472 | + "From Andorra? Your country's biggest achievement is making people google 'Is Andorra a real country?'" |
| 473 | + ] |
| 474 | + }, |
| 475 | + |
| 476 | + // SAN MARINO |
| 477 | + sanmarino: { |
| 478 | + generic: [ |
| 479 | + "San Marino? Italy's tumor that declared independence.", |
| 480 | + "From San Marino? How's living in a country smaller than most cities?", |
| 481 | + "San Marino: Where the entire country is a tourist trap on a hill.", |
| 482 | + "Oh, San Marino? The country that exists because Italy forgot about it.", |
| 483 | + "San Marino: Where everyone sells stamps and pretends it's an economy.", |
| 484 | + "From San Marino? Let me guess, your president is your neighbor.", |
| 485 | + "San Marino: The only country where the gift shop is the GDP.", |
| 486 | + "Where 'culture' is just being not quite Italian.", |
| 487 | + "San Marino: Proof that anyone can be a country if Italy's too lazy to annex you.", |
| 488 | + "From San Marino? Your country's biggest achievement is having more tourists than citizens." |
| 489 | + ] |
| 490 | + }, |
| 491 | + |
| 492 | + // VATICAN CITY |
| 493 | + vatican: { |
| 494 | + generic: [ |
| 495 | + "Vatican City? Where celibacy is mandatory but scandal is traditional.", |
| 496 | + "From the Vatican? How's that moral authority working with all those lawsuits?", |
| 497 | + "Vatican: Where the gold could solve poverty but won't.", |
| 498 | + "Oh, Vatican? The country that's just a church with a bank account.", |
| 499 | + "Vatican: Where everyone's holy until the audit starts.", |
| 500 | + "From the Vatican? Let me guess, you're covering up something.", |
| 501 | + "Vatican: The only country where the population is 100% male and wonders why that's a problem.", |
| 502 | + "Where 'culture' means art stolen from civilizations you converted.", |
| 503 | + "Vatican: Proof that God needs good lawyers.", |
| 504 | + "From the Vatican? Your country's biggest export is guilt and tax-exempt donations." |
| 505 | + ] |
| 506 | + }, |
| 507 | + |
| 508 | + // MONGOLIA |
| 509 | + mongolia: { |
| 510 | + generic: [ |
| 511 | + "Mongolia? Where there's more nothing than anywhere else.", |
| 512 | + "From Mongolia? How's living between Russia and China working out for your independence?", |
| 513 | + "Mongolia: Where the horses outnumber humans and have better living conditions.", |
| 514 | + "Oh, Mongolia? The country that peaked with Genghis Khan.", |
| 515 | + "Mongolia: Where everyone's nomadic because there's nowhere worth staying.", |
| 516 | + "From Mongolia? Let me guess, you're in mining or herding, the only options.", |
| 517 | + "Mongolia: The only country where the capital has half the population.", |
| 518 | + "Where 'culture' means throat singing and fermented mare's milk.", |
| 519 | + "Mongolia: Proof that having the most land per person doesn't mean prosperity.", |
| 520 | + "From Mongolia? Your country's biggest export is cashmere and people fleeing to anywhere else." |
| 521 | + ], |
| 522 | + ulaanbaatar: [ |
| 523 | + "Ulaanbaatar? The coldest capital with the hottest pollution.", |
| 524 | + "From UB? How's living in the world's most polluted freezer?", |
| 525 | + "Ulaanbaatar: Where half of Mongolia crowds into the worst place.", |
| 526 | + "Oh, Ulaanbaatar? The city that's just Soviet buildings and smog.", |
| 527 | + "Ulaanbaatar: Where everyone burns coal to survive and dies from burning coal.", |
| 528 | + "From UB? Let me guess, you can't see across the street in winter.", |
| 529 | + "Ulaanbaatar: The only capital where -40° is both the temperature and air quality.", |
| 530 | + "Where 'development' means more gers connected to more pollution.", |
| 531 | + "Ulaanbaatar: Proof that capitals don't need to be livable.", |
| 532 | + "From UB? Your city's biggest achievement is making Beijing's air look clean." |
| 533 | + ] |
| 534 | + }, |
| 535 | + |
| 536 | + // NORTH KOREA |
| 537 | + northkorea: { |
| 538 | + generic: [ |
| 539 | + "North Korea? Where the Supreme Leader is the only one eating supremely.", |
| 540 | + "From North Korea? How did you even get internet to read this?", |
| 541 | + "North Korea: Where the 1950s called and want their everything back.", |
| 542 | + "Oh, North Korea? The country that's just a prison with a flag.", |
| 543 | + "North Korea: Where the only growth industry is nuclear threats.", |
| 544 | + "From North Korea? Let me guess, you're not actually from North Korea.", |
| 545 | + "North Korea: The only country where darkness is visible from space.", |
| 546 | + "Where 'culture' is whatever the Kim family approves.", |
| 547 | + "North Korea: Proof that isolation doesn't preserve anything worth preserving.", |
| 548 | + "From North Korea? Your country's biggest export is threats and refugees." |
| 549 | + ], |
| 550 | + pyongyang: [ |
| 551 | + "Pyongyang? Where the buildings are empty but the propaganda is full.", |
| 552 | + "From Pyongyang? How's living in the world's largest theater production?", |
| 553 | + "Pyongyang: Where everyone's an actor and the city's a stage.", |
| 554 | + "Oh, Pyongyang? The capital that's just Potemkin villages with nukes.", |
| 555 | + "Pyongyang: Where the metro is deeper than the thoughts allowed.", |
| 556 | + "From Pyongyang? You're definitely not reading this there.", |
| 557 | + "Pyongyang: The only capital where traffic jams are impossible because there are no cars.", |
| 558 | + "Where 'architecture' means whatever makes the leader look good.", |
| 559 | + "Pyongyang: Proof that you can build a capital without capitalism or success.", |
| 560 | + "From Pyongyang? Your city's biggest achievement is the mass games where humans become pixels." |
| 561 | + ] |
| 562 | + }, |
| 563 | + |
| 564 | + // VENEZUELA |
| 565 | + venezuela: { |
| 566 | + generic: [ |
| 567 | + "Venezuela? Where millionaires can't afford bread.", |
| 568 | + "From Venezuela? How's that socialism of the 21st century working out?", |
| 569 | + "Venezuela: Where oil wealth became everyone's poverty.", |
| 570 | + "Oh, Venezuela? The country that speedran from rich to ruined.", |
| 571 | + "Venezuela: Where everyone's a millionaire but millions mean nothing.", |
| 572 | + "From Venezuela? Let me guess, you're in Miami or trying to get there.", |
| 573 | + "Venezuela: The only country where inflation broke calculators.", |
| 574 | + "Where 'currency' is more useful as toilet paper.", |
| 575 | + "Venezuela: Proof that oil can't fix stupid governance.", |
| 576 | + "From Venezuela? Your country's biggest export is refugees and cautionary tales." |
| 577 | + ], |
| 578 | + caracas: [ |
| 579 | + "Caracas? Where the murder rate competes with the inflation rate.", |
| 580 | + "From Caracas? How's living in the world's most dangerous capital?", |
| 581 | + "Caracas: Where everyone's either robbing or being robbed.", |
| 582 | + "Oh, Caracas? The city where leaving your house is extreme sports.", |
| 583 | + "Caracas: Where the barrios have better views than your life expectancy.", |
| 584 | + "From Caracas? Let me guess, you know someone who's been kidnapped.", |
| 585 | + "Caracas: The only capital where the morgue is busier than the hospitals.", |
| 586 | + "Where 'security' means how many locks on your door.", |
| 587 | + "Caracas: Proof that oil money can't buy safety.", |
| 588 | + "From Caracas? Your city's biggest achievement is making other dangerous cities look safe." |
| 589 | + ] |
| 590 | + }, |
| 591 | + |
| 592 | + // COLOMBIA |
| 593 | + colombia: { |
| 594 | + generic: [ |
| 595 | + "Colombia? Where the cocaine jokes write themselves.", |
| 596 | + "From Colombia? How's that reputation from the 80s treating you?", |
| 597 | + "Colombia: Where everyone's tired of Pablo Escobar references but here we are.", |
| 598 | + "Oh, Colombia? The country that's beauty and violence in equal measure.", |
| 599 | + "Colombia: Where the coffee's good but the reputation's bitter.", |
| 600 | + "From Colombia? Let me guess, you're explaining you're not all drug dealers.", |
| 601 | + "Colombia: The only country where tourism slogans fight narco stereotypes.", |
| 602 | + "Where 'progress' means fewer kidnappings than last year.", |
| 603 | + "Colombia: Proof that Netflix shows don't help country reputation.", |
| 604 | + "From Colombia? Your country's biggest export is coffee and trying to change the subject from cocaine." |
| 605 | + ], |
| 606 | + bogota: [ |
| 607 | + "Bogotá? Where the altitude is high and so is the crime.", |
| 608 | + "From Bogotá? How's living in a capital built on a swamp and run like one?", |
| 609 | + "Bogotá: Where traffic is so bad, kidnappings decreased because nobody can move.", |
| 610 | + "Oh, Bogotá? The city that's just Mexico City's colder, less fun cousin.", |
| 611 | + "Bogotá: Where everyone's educated but underemployed.", |
| 612 | + "From Bogotá? Let me guess, you're stuck in traffic complaining about TransMilenio.", |
| 613 | + "Bogotá: The only capital where rain is more reliable than public transport.", |
| 614 | + "Where 'culture' happens in malls because the streets aren't safe.", |
| 615 | + "Bogotá: Proof that altitude doesn't equal attitude.", |
| 616 | + "From Bogotá? Your city's biggest achievement is making Medellín look good." |
| 617 | + ], |
| 618 | + medellin: [ |
| 619 | + "Medellín? Pablo's hometown trying to rebrand with cable cars.", |
| 620 | + "From Medellín? How's that eternal spring in the city of eternal sin?", |
| 621 | + "Medellín: Where innovation means finding new ways to avoid cartel history.", |
| 622 | + "Oh, Medellín? The city where gringos go to pretend they're not sex tourists.", |
| 623 | + "Medellín: Where everyone's in tech or tourism, fleeing the past.", |
| 624 | + "From Medellín? Let me guess, you're tired of Narcos references.", |
| 625 | + "Medellín: The only city where cable cars are public transport and history.", |
| 626 | + "Where 'transformation' means hipsters replaced hitmen.", |
| 627 | + "Medellín: Proof that cities can change but stereotypes don't.", |
| 628 | + "From Medellín? Your city's biggest achievement is convincing people it's safe now." |
| 629 | + ] |
| 630 | + }, |
| 631 | + |
| 632 | + // PERU |
| 633 | + peru: { |
| 634 | + generic: [ |
| 635 | + "Peru? Where Machu Picchu is the high point literally and figuratively.", |
| 636 | + "From Peru? How's that political instability seasoned with corruption?", |
| 637 | + "Peru: Where everyone's proud of the Incas who wouldn't recognize the place.", |
| 638 | + "Oh, Peru? The country that's just a Machu Picchu delivery system.", |
| 639 | + "Peru: Where the food's great but the government's indigestible.", |
| 640 | + "From Peru? Let me guess, you work in tourism or mining.", |
| 641 | + "Peru: The only country where presidents last less than the food poisoning.", |
| 642 | + "Where 'culture' means charging tourists to see what conquistadors missed.", |
| 643 | + "Peru: Proof that great history doesn't guarantee a great present.", |
| 644 | + "From Peru? Your country's biggest export is quinoa and political chaos." |
| 645 | + ], |
| 646 | + lima: [ |
| 647 | + "Lima? Where the fog is thicker than the traffic.", |
| 648 | + "From Lima? How's living in a desert that forgot it's a desert?", |
| 649 | + "Lima: Where it never rains but everything's always damp and depressing.", |
| 650 | + "Oh, Lima? The city built on sand with a shaky foundation.", |
| 651 | + "Lima: Where the cliffs are beautiful and the inequality is ugly.", |
| 652 | + "From Lima? Let me guess, you're in Miraflores pretending the rest doesn't exist.", |
| 653 | + "Lima: The only capital where the beach is there but nobody swims.", |
| 654 | + "Where 'development' means another mall in San Isidro.", |
| 655 | + "Lima: Proof that coastal doesn't mean pleasant.", |
| 656 | + "From Lima? Your city's biggest achievement is making Cusco look organized." |
| 657 | + ] |
| 658 | + }, |
| 659 | + |
| 660 | + // ECUADOR |
| 661 | + ecuador: { |
| 662 | + generic: [ |
| 663 | + "Ecuador? Where the middle of the world is the middle of nowhere.", |
| 664 | + "From Ecuador? How's using the dollar because your own currency failed?", |
| 665 | + "Ecuador: Where everyone's plan B is moving to Spain.", |
| 666 | + "Oh, Ecuador? The country that's just the Galapagos Islands' mainland disappointment.", |
| 667 | + "Ecuador: Where being on the equator doesn't make you central to anything.", |
| 668 | + "From Ecuador? Let me guess, you're in Quito, Guayaquil, or gone.", |
| 669 | + "Ecuador: The only country where the roses are beautiful and everything else is thorny.", |
| 670 | + "Where 'stability' is measured in months between protests.", |
| 671 | + "Ecuador: Proof that perfect geography doesn't guarantee success.", |
| 672 | + "From Ecuador? Your country's biggest export is flowers and people seeking better lives." |
| 673 | + ], |
| 674 | + quito: [ |
| 675 | + "Quito? Where the altitude is higher than the employment rate.", |
| 676 | + "From Quito? How's living in a city stretched thinner than the oxygen?", |
| 677 | + "Quito: Where colonial beauty meets modern dysfunction.", |
| 678 | + "Oh, Quito? The capital that's literally and figuratively hard to breathe in.", |
| 679 | + "Quito: Where everyone's protesting something but nothing changes.", |
| 680 | + "From Quito? Let me guess, you're out of breath and out of patience.", |
| 681 | + "Quito: The only capital where the view is better than the reality.", |
| 682 | + "Where 'planning' means building wherever the mountain allows.", |
| 683 | + "Quito: Proof that being a UNESCO site doesn't pay bills.", |
| 684 | + "From Quito? Your city's biggest achievement is making Guayaquil look stable." |
| 685 | + ], |
| 686 | + guayaquil: [ |
| 687 | + "Guayaquil? Where the heat is oppressive and so is the crime.", |
| 688 | + "From Guayaquil? How's living in Ecuador's sweaty armpit?", |
| 689 | + "Guayaquil: Where everyone's either in shipping or shipping out.", |
| 690 | + "Oh, Guayaquil? The city that's just a port with delusions.", |
| 691 | + "Guayaquil: Where the humidity is 100% and so is the chance of being robbed.", |
| 692 | + "From Guayaquil? Let me guess, you're planning your escape to Quito or abroad.", |
| 693 | + "Guayaquil: The only city where iguanas have more rights than pedestrians.", |
| 694 | + "Where 'culture' went to die in the heat.", |
| 695 | + "Guayaquil: Proof that being the biggest doesn't mean being the best.", |
| 696 | + "From Guayaquil? Your city's biggest achievement is making Quito look exciting." |
| 697 | + ] |
| 698 | + }, |
| 699 | + |
| 700 | + // BOLIVIA |
| 701 | + bolivia: { |
| 702 | + generic: [ |
| 703 | + "Bolivia? Where the altitude is high but the GDP is underground.", |
| 704 | + "From Bolivia? How's being landlocked and luck-blocked?", |
| 705 | + "Bolivia: Where everyone's protesting because what else is there to do?", |
| 706 | + "Oh, Bolivia? The country that lost its coastline and never got over it.", |
| 707 | + "Bolivia: Where the president changes more often than the weather.", |
| 708 | + "From Bolivia? Let me guess, you're in La Paz or trying to breathe elsewhere.", |
| 709 | + "Bolivia: The only country where oxygen bars make economic sense.", |
| 710 | + "Where 'development' is as rare as sea-level air.", |
| 711 | + "Bolivia: Proof that having resources doesn't mean having results.", |
| 712 | + "From Bolivia? Your country's biggest export is lithium and unfulfilled potential." |
| 713 | + ], |
| 714 | + la_paz: [ |
| 715 | + "La Paz? Where the government is as dysfunctional as the oxygen levels.", |
| 716 | + "From La Paz? How's living in a city where breathing is an achievement?", |
| 717 | + "La Paz: Where cable cars are the only things that work properly.", |
| 718 | + "Oh, La Paz? The capital so high it forgot how to develop.", |
| 719 | + "La Paz: Where protests are more common than oxygen molecules.", |
| 720 | + "From La Paz? Let me guess, you're dizzy from altitude or politics.", |
| 721 | + "La Paz: The only capital where walking upstairs is an extreme sport.", |
| 722 | + "Where 'heights' refers to altitude, not achievements.", |
| 723 | + "La Paz: Proof that being unique doesn't mean being functional.", |
| 724 | + "From La Paz? Your city's biggest achievement is making people appreciate sea level." |
| 725 | + ] |
| 726 | + }, |
| 727 | + |
| 728 | + // PARAGUAY |
| 729 | + paraguay: { |
| 730 | + generic: [ |
| 731 | + "Paraguay? South America's forgotten middle child.", |
| 732 | + "From Paraguay? How's being the continent's most irrelevant country?", |
| 733 | + "Paraguay: Where corruption is the only efficient system.", |
| 734 | + "Oh, Paraguay? The country that exists because Brazil and Argentina forgot to finish fighting over it.", |
| 735 | + "Paraguay: Where everyone's smuggling something or someone.", |
| 736 | + "From Paraguay? Let me guess, you're explaining where Paraguay is.", |
| 737 | + "Paraguay: The only country where being landlocked is the least of the problems.", |
| 738 | + "Where 'economy' means whatever falls off trucks from Brazil.", |
| 739 | + "Paraguay: Proof that surviving wars doesn't mean thriving in peace.", |
| 740 | + "From Paraguay? Your country's biggest export is electricity and anonymity." |
| 741 | + ], |
| 742 | + asuncion: [ |
| 743 | + "Asunción? The capital that everyone assumes is somewhere else.", |
| 744 | + "From Asunción? How's living in South America's most forgettable capital?", |
| 745 | + "Asunción: Where the heat is stifling and so is the progress.", |
| 746 | + "Oh, Asunción? The city that makes Montevideo look thrilling.", |
| 747 | + "Asunción: Where everyone's in contraband or government, same thing.", |
| 748 | + "From Asunción? Let me guess, you're sweating and smuggling.", |
| 749 | + "Asunción: The only capital where the river is more famous than the city.", |
| 750 | + "Where 'development' means a new shopping mall for contraband goods.", |
| 751 | + "Asunción: Proof that being a capital doesn't require being memorable.", |
| 752 | + "From Asunción? Your city's biggest achievement is existing despite irrelevance." |
| 753 | + ] |
| 754 | + }, |
| 755 | + |
| 756 | + // URUGUAY |
| 757 | + uruguay: { |
| 758 | + generic: [ |
| 759 | + "Uruguay? Argentina's boring appendix that thinks it's Switzerland.", |
| 760 | + "From Uruguay? How's pretending to be European while being in South America?", |
| 761 | + "Uruguay: Where everyone's old because the young people left.", |
| 762 | + "Oh, Uruguay? The country that's just Buenos Aires' retirement home.", |
| 763 | + "Uruguay: Where progressive politics can't mask the provincial mindset.", |
| 764 | + "From Uruguay? Let me guess, you're proud of being boring and stable.", |
| 765 | + "Uruguay: The only country where excitement is illegal after 10 PM.", |
| 766 | + "Where 'culture' means mate and complaining about Argentina.", |
| 767 | + "Uruguay: Proof that being peaceful doesn't mean being interesting.", |
| 768 | + "From Uruguay? Your country's biggest export is football players who succeed elsewhere." |
| 769 | + ], |
| 770 | + montevideo: [ |
| 771 | + "Montevideo? Buenos Aires' depressed little brother.", |
| 772 | + "From Montevideo? How's living in a capital that feels like a suburb?", |
| 773 | + "Montevideo: Where the architecture is frozen in time and so is everything else.", |
| 774 | + "Oh, Montevideo? The city that's just sadness by the sea.", |
| 775 | + "Montevideo: Where everyone's nostalgic for a past that wasn't that great.", |
| 776 | + "From Montevideo? Let me guess, you're drinking mate and discussing leaving.", |
| 777 | + "Montevideo: The only capital where the cemetery is the liveliest place.", |
| 778 | + "Where 'nightlife' means walking on the rambla alone.", |
| 779 | + "Montevideo: Proof that coastal location doesn't guarantee vibrancy.", |
| 780 | + "From Montevideo? Your city's biggest achievement is being calmer than Buenos Aires." |
| 781 | + ] |
| 782 | + }, |
| 783 | + |
| 784 | + // CHILE |
| 785 | + chile: { |
| 786 | + generic: [ |
| 787 | + "Chile? Where the country is thinner than the social safety net.", |
| 788 | + "From Chile? How's that neoliberal paradise working for the 99%?", |
| 789 | + "Chile: Where the earthquakes are less shocking than the inequality.", |
| 790 | + "Oh, Chile? The country that's just a mining operation with a flag.", |
| 791 | + "Chile: Where everyone's protesting because the Chicago Boys experiment failed.", |
| 792 | + "From Chile? Let me guess, you're in Santiago or skiing away from problems.", |
| 793 | + "Chile: The only country shaped like a natural disaster.", |
| 794 | + "Where 'success' means being Latin America's most unequal success story.", |
| 795 | + "Chile: Proof that GDP growth doesn't mean quality of life.", |
| 796 | + "From Chile? Your country's biggest export is copper and discontent." |
| 797 | + ], |
| 798 | + santiago: [ |
| 799 | + "Santiago? Where the smog is thicker than the social mobility.", |
| 800 | + "From Santiago? How's living in a bowl of pollution and inequality?", |
| 801 | + "Santiago: Where the Andes are beautiful but you can't see them through smog.", |
| 802 | + "Oh, Santiago? The city that's just LA with Spanish and worse air.", |
| 803 | + "Santiago: Where everyone's protesting in Plaza Italia or fleeing to Providencia.", |
| 804 | + "From Santiago? Let me guess, you're in a mall because the streets are chaos.", |
| 805 | + "Santiago: The only capital where the metro burns during protests.", |
| 806 | + "Where 'development' means another tower in Las Condes.", |
| 807 | + "Santiago: Proof that mountains can't contain urban sprawl or discontent.", |
| 808 | + "From Santiago? Your city's biggest achievement is making other Latin capitals look equal." |
| 809 | + ] |
| 810 | + }, |
| 811 | + |
| 812 | + // CUBA |
| 813 | + cuba: { |
| 814 | + generic: [ |
| 815 | + "Cuba? Where the cars are vintage and so is the government.", |
| 816 | + "From Cuba? How's that revolution working out 60 years later?", |
| 817 | + "Cuba: Where everyone's a doctor but nobody has medicine.", |
| 818 | + "Oh, Cuba? The country that's a museum with beaches.", |
| 819 | + "Cuba: Where the cigars are good but you can't afford them.", |
| 820 | + "From Cuba? Let me guess, you're in Miami or dreaming of it.", |
| 821 | + "Cuba: The only country where time stopped in 1959.", |
| 822 | + "Where 'equality' means everyone's equally poor except the party.", |
| 823 | + "Cuba: Proof that free healthcare doesn't help if there's no food.", |
| 824 | + "From Cuba? Your country's biggest export is refugees and nostalgia." |
| 825 | + ], |
| 826 | + havana: [ |
| 827 | + "Havana? Where the buildings are falling faster than the regime.", |
| 828 | + "From Havana? How's living in a crumbling museum?", |
| 829 | + "Havana: Where every building is historic because nothing new gets built.", |
| 830 | + "Oh, Havana? The city that's just Instagram backgrounds for tourists.", |
| 831 | + "Havana: Where the music is lively because it drowns out the despair.", |
| 832 | + "From Havana? Let me guess, you're hustling tourists or hustling to leave.", |
| 833 | + "Havana: The only capital where decay is called 'authentic charm'.", |
| 834 | + "Where 'restoration' means whatever tourists will pay to see.", |
| 835 | + "Havana: Proof that being photogenic doesn't mean being livable.", |
| 836 | + "From Havana? Your city's biggest achievement is looking good while falling apart." |
| 837 | + ] |
| 838 | + }, |
| 839 | + |
| 840 | + // JAMAICA |
| 841 | + jamaica: { |
| 842 | + generic: [ |
| 843 | + "Jamaica? Where the weed is better than the economy.", |
| 844 | + "From Jamaica? How's that 'no problem' attitude with all those problems?", |
| 845 | + "Jamaica: Where everyone's relaxed because there's no opportunity to stress about.", |
| 846 | + "Oh, Jamaica? The country that's just a resort with a flag.", |
| 847 | + "Jamaica: Where the music is legendary but the development isn't.", |
| 848 | + "From Jamaica? Let me guess, you're in tourism or trying to leave.", |
| 849 | + "Jamaica: The only country where the exchange rate is higher than the employment rate.", |
| 850 | + "Where 'culture' gets packaged and sold to cruise ships.", |
| 851 | + "Jamaica: Proof that having Bob Marley doesn't solve economic problems.", |
| 852 | + "From Jamaica? Your country's biggest export is reggae and brain drain." |
| 853 | + ], |
| 854 | + kingston: [ |
| 855 | + "Kingston? Where the music is good but the violence is worse.", |
| 856 | + "From Kingston? How's living in the Caribbean's most dangerous capital?", |
| 857 | + "Kingston: Where uptown and downtown might as well be different countries.", |
| 858 | + "Oh, Kingston? The city that tourists avoid for good reason.", |
| 859 | + "Kingston: Where everyone's either making music or making problems.", |
| 860 | + "From Kingston? Let me guess, you know which areas to avoid (most of them).", |
| 861 | + "Kingston: The only capital where the embassy district is the safest part.", |
| 862 | + "Where 'culture' happens behind security gates.", |
| 863 | + "Kingston: Proof that being a cultural capital doesn't mean being safe.", |
| 864 | + "From Kingston? Your city's biggest achievement is producing music that makes people forget about the murder rate." |
| 865 | + ] |
| 866 | + }, |
| 867 | + |
| 868 | + // HAITI |
| 869 | + haiti: { |
| 870 | + generic: [ |
| 871 | + "Haiti? Where the earthquake was the second-worst disaster after the government.", |
| 872 | + "From Haiti? How's being the Western Hemisphere's cautionary tale?", |
| 873 | + "Haiti: Where NGOs have more power than the government.", |
| 874 | + "Oh, Haiti? The country that's been 'rebuilding' since 1804.", |
| 875 | + "Haiti: Where everyone's resilient because what's the alternative?", |
| 876 | + "From Haiti? Let me guess, you're in the diaspora or trying to join it.", |
| 877 | + "Haiti: The only country where cholera was an improvement from the UN.", |
| 878 | + "Where 'aid' means keeping people dependent, not developing.", |
| 879 | + "Haiti: Proof that independence doesn't guarantee prosperity.", |
| 880 | + "From Haiti? Your country's biggest export is tragedy and talented people fleeing it." |
| 881 | + ], |
| 882 | + port_au_prince: [ |
| 883 | + "Port-au-Prince? Where the prince left and took all hope with him.", |
| 884 | + "From Port-au-Prince? How's living in rubble that calls itself a capital?", |
| 885 | + "Port-au-Prince: Where the earthquake cleanup is still waiting to start.", |
| 886 | + "Oh, Port-au-Prince? The city that makes other disaster zones look planned.", |
| 887 | + "Port-au-Prince: Where the UN had more infrastructure than the government.", |
| 888 | + "From Port-au-Prince? Let me guess, you're behind several sets of walls.", |
| 889 | + "Port-au-Prince: The only capital where tent cities are permanent architecture.", |
| 890 | + "Where 'development' means another NGO headquarters.", |
| 891 | + "Port-au-Prince: Proof that capitals can exist without functioning.", |
| 892 | + "From Port-au-Prince? Your city's biggest achievement is still standing, barely." |
| 893 | + ] |
| 894 | + }, |
| 895 | + |
| 896 | + // DOMINICAN REPUBLIC |
| 897 | + dominicanrepublic: { |
| 898 | + generic: [ |
| 899 | + "Dominican Republic? Where the resorts are nice and everything else isn't.", |
| 900 | + "From DR? How's living in Haiti's slightly more successful sibling?", |
| 901 | + "Dominican Republic: Where tourism thrives and locals survive.", |
| 902 | + "Oh, DR? The country that's just Puerto Rico without the US passport.", |
| 903 | + "Dominican Republic: Where everyone's in baseball or tourism.", |
| 904 | + "From DR? Let me guess, you work in a resort or wish you didn't.", |
| 905 | + "Dominican Republic: The only country where the all-inclusive doesn't include locals.", |
| 906 | + "Where 'development' means another resort on stolen beach land.", |
| 907 | + "Dominican Republic: Proof that tourism doesn't trickle down.", |
| 908 | + "From DR? Your country's biggest export is baseball players and broken dreams." |
| 909 | + ], |
| 910 | + santo_domingo: [ |
| 911 | + "Santo Domingo? The oldest city acting like it matters.", |
| 912 | + "From Santo Domingo? How's living in history that doesn't pay bills?", |
| 913 | + "Santo Domingo: Where Columbus started ruining everything.", |
| 914 | + "Oh, Santo Domingo? The capital that tourists skip to hit the beaches.", |
| 915 | + "Santo Domingo: Where colonial history meets modern dysfunction.", |
| 916 | + "From Santo Domingo? Let me guess, you work in government or tourism.", |
| 917 | + "Santo Domingo: The only capital where the past is more developed than the present.", |
| 918 | + "Where 'culture' means charging tourists to see old buildings.", |
| 919 | + "Santo Domingo: Proof that being first doesn't mean being best.", |
| 920 | + "From Santo Domingo? Your city's biggest achievement happened 500 years ago." |
| 921 | + ] |
| 922 | + }, |
| 923 | + |
| 924 | + // COSTA RICA |
| 925 | + costarica: { |
| 926 | + generic: [ |
| 927 | + "Costa Rica? Where 'Pura Vida' means 'purely expensive for locals'.", |
| 928 | + "From Costa Rica? How's being Central America's retirement home for gringos?", |
| 929 | + "Costa Rica: Where the sloths move faster than the bureaucracy.", |
| 930 | + "Oh, Costa Rica? The country that sold its soul to ecotourism.", |
| 931 | + "Costa Rica: Where everyone's in tourism or getting priced out by it.", |
| 932 | + "From Costa Rica? Let me guess, you can't afford to live where you grew up.", |
| 933 | + "Costa Rica: The only country where Americans go to ruin another healthcare system.", |
| 934 | + "Where 'paradise' means paradise for foreigners with dollars.", |
| 935 | + "Costa Rica: Proof that eco-friendly doesn't mean local-friendly.", |
| 936 | + "From Costa Rica? Your country's biggest export is residency permits to retirees." |
| 937 | + ], |
| 938 | + san_jose: [ |
| 939 | + "San José? Where the traffic is worse than the crime, barely.", |
| 940 | + "From San José? How's living in Central America's most boring capital?", |
| 941 | + "San José: Where everyone passes through but nobody wants to stay.", |
| 942 | + "Oh, San José? The city that exists just to have a capital.", |
| 943 | + "San José: Where the best thing is the airport to leave.", |
| 944 | + "From San José? Let me guess, you avoid downtown after dark.", |
| 945 | + "San José: The only capital where the suburbs are safer and more interesting.", |
| 946 | + "Where 'culture' fled to the coasts with the tourists.", |
| 947 | + "San José: Proof that being a capital doesn't require character.", |
| 948 | + "From San José? Your city's biggest achievement is having an international airport." |
| 949 | + ] |
| 950 | + }, |
| 951 | + |
| 952 | + // PANAMA |
| 953 | + panama: { |
| 954 | + generic: [ |
| 955 | + "Panama? Where the canal is straighter than the government.", |
| 956 | + "From Panama? How's being the world's money laundering department?", |
| 957 | + "Panama: Where the papers leaked but the problems didn't.", |
| 958 | + "Oh, Panama? The country that's just a canal with a banking sector.", |
| 959 | + "Panama: Where everyone's in finance or facilitating someone who is.", |
| 960 | + "From Panama? Let me guess, you work in 'import/export' *wink wink*.", |
| 961 | + "Panama: The only country where shell companies outnumber actual companies.", |
| 962 | + "Where 'discretion' is the national motto.", |
| 963 | + "Panama: Proof that strategic location beats actual development.", |
| 964 | + "From Panama? Your country's biggest export is financial secrecy and scandals." |
| 965 | + ], |
| 966 | + panama_city: [ |
| 967 | + "Panama City? Where the skyline is money laundering made manifest.", |
| 968 | + "From Panama City? How's living in the Dubai of Central America?", |
| 969 | + "Panama City: Where every building is a shell company with windows.", |
| 970 | + "Oh, Panama City? The city built on secrets and tax evasion.", |
| 971 | + "Panama City: Where the rich hide money and the poor just hide.", |
| 972 | + "From Panama City? Let me guess, you work in 'financial services'.", |
| 973 | + "Panama City: The only capital where the buildings are taller than the morals.", |
| 974 | + "Where 'banking' means asking no questions.", |
| 975 | + "Panama City: Proof that dirty money builds clean buildings.", |
| 976 | + "From Panama City? Your city's biggest achievement is making Swiss banking look transparent." |
| 977 | + ] |
| 978 | + }, |
| 979 | + |
| 980 | + // HONDURAS |
| 981 | + honduras: { |
| 982 | + generic: [ |
| 983 | + "Honduras? Where the murder rate competes with the poverty rate.", |
| 984 | + "From Honduras? How's being the country everyone migrates through to escape?", |
| 985 | + "Honduras: Where MS-13 provides more services than the government.", |
| 986 | + "Oh, Honduras? The country that's just a cautionary tale with borders.", |
| 987 | + "Honduras: Where everyone's planning their route to the US border.", |
| 988 | + "From Honduras? Let me guess, you're in a caravan or planning to join one.", |
| 989 | + "Honduras: The only country where coup d'état is a seasonal event.", |
| 990 | + "Where 'governance' is a theoretical concept.", |
| 991 | + "Honduras: Proof that beautiful beaches can't hide ugly realities.", |
| 992 | + "From Honduras? Your country's biggest export is asylum seekers and coffee." |
| 993 | + ], |
| 994 | + tegucigalpa: [ |
| 995 | + "Tegucigalpa? Even the name sounds like giving up.", |
| 996 | + "From Tegucigalpa? How's living in a capital nobody can pronounce or locate?", |
| 997 | + "Tegucigalpa: Where the hills are steep and the crime rate's steeper.", |
| 998 | + "Oh, Tegucigalpa? The city that makes San Pedro Sula look safe.", |
| 999 | + "Tegucigalpa: Where everyone's either in government or running from it.", |
| 1000 | + "From Tegucigalpa? Let me guess, you know which neighborhoods to avoid (all of them).", |
| 1001 | + "Tegucigalpa: The only capital where the embassy district is a fortress.", |
| 1002 | + "Where 'development' means another mall for the rich to hide in.", |
| 1003 | + "Tegucigalpa: Proof that being a capital doesn't mean being functional.", |
| 1004 | + "From Tegucigalpa? Your city's biggest achievement is not being San Pedro Sula." |
| 1005 | + ] |
| 1006 | + }, |
| 1007 | + |
| 1008 | + // GUATEMALA |
| 1009 | + guatemala: { |
| 1010 | + generic: [ |
| 1011 | + "Guatemala? Where the volcanoes are less explosive than the politics.", |
| 1012 | + "From Guatemala? How's that eternal spring with eternal corruption?", |
| 1013 | + "Guatemala: Where Mayan ruins are in better shape than current infrastructure.", |
| 1014 | + "Oh, Guatemala? The country that's just Mexico's poorer, smaller sibling.", |
| 1015 | + "Guatemala: Where everyone's indigenous until it's time for political representation.", |
| 1016 | + "From Guatemala? Let me guess, you're in the capital or coffee farming.", |
| 1017 | + "Guatemala: The only country where child labor is in the coffee you're drinking.", |
| 1018 | + "Where 'development' means another mall in Zone 10.", |
| 1019 | + "Guatemala: Proof that natural beauty can't overcome human ugliness.", |
| 1020 | + "From Guatemala? Your country's biggest export is coffee picked by children." |
| 1021 | + ], |
| 1022 | + guatemala_city: [ |
| 1023 | + "Guatemala City? Where zones are numbered because names require creativity.", |
| 1024 | + "From Guatemala City? How's living in Central America's most dangerous capital?", |
| 1025 | + "Guatemala City: Where Zone 10 is nice and everywhere else is dice.", |
| 1026 | + "Oh, Guatemala City? The city that sprawls like the inequality.", |
| 1027 | + "Guatemala City: Where everyone's in a gated community or wishing they were.", |
| 1028 | + "From Guatemala City? Let me guess, you don't leave your zone after dark.", |
| 1029 | + "Guatemala City: The only capital where addresses are based on survival odds.", |
| 1030 | + "Where 'public transport' means chicken buses and prayers.", |
| 1031 | + "Guatemala City: Proof that capitals can be dangerous and boring simultaneously.", |
| 1032 | + "From Guatemala City? Your city's biggest achievement is making other Central American capitals look safe." |
| 1033 | + ] |
| 1034 | + }, |
| 1035 | + |
| 1036 | + // EL SALVADOR |
| 1037 | + elsalvador: { |
| 1038 | + generic: [ |
| 1039 | + "El Salvador? Where Bitcoin is legal tender but hope is counterfeit.", |
| 1040 | + "From El Salvador? How's that cryptocurrency experiment in a country without electricity?", |
| 1041 | + "El Salvador: Where the gangs had more organization than the government.", |
| 1042 | + "Oh, El Salvador? The country that's just a murder statistic with borders.", |
| 1043 | + "El Salvador: Where everyone's family is split between home and LA.", |
| 1044 | + "From El Salvador? Let me guess, your cousins send remittances from the US.", |
| 1045 | + "El Salvador: The only country where pupusas are thicker than opportunities.", |
| 1046 | + "Where 'progress' means the murder rate dropped to only horrifying.", |
| 1047 | + "El Salvador: Proof that being small doesn't mean your problems are.", |
| 1048 | + "From El Salvador? Your country's biggest export is gang members and refugees." |
| 1049 | + ], |
| 1050 | + san_salvador: [ |
| 1051 | + "San Salvador? Where the savior forgot to save anything.", |
| 1052 | + "From San Salvador? How's living in a capital named ironically?", |
| 1053 | + "San Salvador: Where earthquakes do urban planning better than the government.", |
| 1054 | + "Oh, San Salvador? The city surrounded by volcanoes and gang territories.", |
| 1055 | + "San Salvador: Where everyone's either in a mall or mourning someone.", |
| 1056 | + "From San Salvador? Let me guess, you measure distance in traffic and danger levels.", |
| 1057 | + "San Salvador: The only capital where Bitcoin ATMs outnumber regular ATMs.", |
| 1058 | + "Where 'development' means another fortified shopping center.", |
| 1059 | + "San Salvador: Proof that holy names don't guarantee holy outcomes.", |
| 1060 | + "From San Salvador? Your city's biggest achievement is surviving another day." |
| 1061 | + ] |
| 1062 | + }, |
| 1063 | + |
| 1064 | + // NICARAGUA |
| 1065 | + nicaragua: { |
| 1066 | + generic: [ |
| 1067 | + "Nicaragua? Where the Sandinistas became what they fought against.", |
| 1068 | + "From Nicaragua? How's that revolutionary dream turned nightmare?", |
| 1069 | + "Nicaragua: Where Ortega's third term lasted longer than your patience.", |
| 1070 | + "Oh, Nicaragua? The country that's just a dictator's playground with volcanoes.", |
| 1071 | + "Nicaragua: Where protests are met with bullets and promises with silence.", |
| 1072 | + "From Nicaragua? Let me guess, you're whispering this or already in Costa Rica.", |
| 1073 | + "Nicaragua: The only country where the canal is imaginary but the repression is real.", |
| 1074 | + "Where 'democracy' is a word they stopped pretending to care about.", |
| 1075 | + "Nicaragua: Proof that revolutionaries make the worst leaders.", |
| 1076 | + "From Nicaragua? Your country's biggest export is refugees and broken dreams." |
| 1077 | + ], |
| 1078 | + managua: [ |
| 1079 | + "Managua? The capital that an earthquake improved.", |
| 1080 | + "From Managua? How's living in a city that never recovered from 1972?", |
| 1081 | + "Managua: Where the lake is polluted and the politics are dirtier.", |
| 1082 | + "Oh, Managua? The city that forgot what city planning means.", |
| 1083 | + "Managua: Where directions are given by where things used to be.", |
| 1084 | + "From Managua? Let me guess, you navigate by defunct landmarks.", |
| 1085 | + "Managua: The only capital where the center is empty because it's safer that way.", |
| 1086 | + "Where 'architecture' means whatever survived the earthquake.", |
| 1087 | + "Managua: Proof that some cities shouldn't be rebuilt.", |
| 1088 | + "From Managua? Your city's biggest achievement is making Tegucigalpa look organized." |
| 1089 | + ] |
| 1090 | + }, |
| 1091 | + |
| 1092 | + // BELIZE |
| 1093 | + belize: { |
| 1094 | + generic: [ |
| 1095 | + "Belize? Where the reef is dying faster than the economy.", |
| 1096 | + "From Belize? How's being Central America's forgotten English speaker?", |
| 1097 | + "Belize: Where everyone's in tourism or trying to launder money.", |
| 1098 | + "Oh, Belize? The country that's just Guatemala's beachfront property.", |
| 1099 | + "Belize: Where the best thing is barrier reef and it's bleaching.", |
| 1100 | + "From Belize? Let me guess, you work with tourists or wish they'd leave.", |
| 1101 | + "Belize: The only country where being a tax haven is plan A through Z.", |
| 1102 | + "Where 'development' means another resort owned by foreigners.", |
| 1103 | + "Belize: Proof that speaking English doesn't make you prosperous.", |
| 1104 | + "From Belize? Your country's biggest export is citizenship to criminals." |
| 1105 | + ], |
| 1106 | + belize_city: [ |
| 1107 | + "Belize City? Where the hurricane cleanup from 1961 isn't finished.", |
| 1108 | + "From Belize City? How's living in a city that probably shouldn't exist?", |
| 1109 | + "Belize City: Where the crime rate competes with the humidity.", |
| 1110 | + "Oh, Belize City? The city built below sea level with below-average planning.", |
| 1111 | + "Belize City: Where everyone's trying to get to the islands or inland.", |
| 1112 | + "From Belize City? Let me guess, you're explaining it's not the capital anymore.", |
| 1113 | + "Belize City: The only city where being former capital was a promotion.", |
| 1114 | + "Where 'infrastructure' is a suggestion ignored since independence.", |
| 1115 | + "Belize City: Proof that coastal doesn't mean pleasant.", |
| 1116 | + "From Belize City? Your city's biggest achievement is no longer being the capital." |
| 1117 | + ] |
| 1118 | + }, |
| 1119 | + |
| 1120 | + // GUYANA |
| 1121 | + guyana: { |
| 1122 | + generic: [ |
| 1123 | + "Guyana? Where the oil discovery will definitely not lead to corruption, right?", |
| 1124 | + "From Guyana? How's being South America's English-speaking oddity?", |
| 1125 | + "Guyana: Where everyone's Indo-Guyanese or Afro-Guyanese but never just Guyanese.", |
| 1126 | + "Oh, Guyana? The country that's just Jonestown's most famous location.", |
| 1127 | + "Guyana: Where the jungle is thick and the racial tension thicker.", |
| 1128 | + "From Guyana? Let me guess, you're in Georgetown or the diaspora.", |
| 1129 | + "Guyana: The only country where the suicide rate competes with the emigration rate.", |
| 1130 | + "Where 'development' means waiting for oil money to trickle down.", |
| 1131 | + "Guyana: Proof that oil discoveries don't instantly fix countries.", |
| 1132 | + "From Guyana? Your country's biggest export is people fleeing to Brooklyn." |
| 1133 | + ], |
| 1134 | + georgetown: [ |
| 1135 | + "Georgetown? Where the seawall holds back more than just water.", |
| 1136 | + "From Georgetown? How's living below sea level with above-average crime?", |
| 1137 | + "Georgetown: Where colonial architecture rots in the tropical humidity.", |
| 1138 | + "Oh, Georgetown? The city that floods when someone spits.", |
| 1139 | + "Georgetown: Where everyone's planning their move to New York.", |
| 1140 | + "From Georgetown? Let me guess, you're related to half of Richmond Hill, Queens.", |
| 1141 | + "Georgetown: The only capital where the canals smell worse than the politics.", |
| 1142 | + "Where 'infrastructure' means Dutch systems from when they cared.", |
| 1143 | + "Georgetown: Proof that being a capital doesn't mean being functional.", |
| 1144 | + "From Georgetown? Your city's biggest achievement is producing New Yorkers." |
| 1145 | + ] |
| 1146 | + }, |
| 1147 | + |
| 1148 | + // SURINAME |
| 1149 | + suriname: { |
| 1150 | + generic: [ |
| 1151 | + "Suriname? Where Dutch is spoken but the Dutch don't visit.", |
| 1152 | + "From Suriname? How's being South America's forgotten Dutch experiment?", |
| 1153 | + "Suriname: Where the diversity is beautiful but the economy is ugly.", |
| 1154 | + "Oh, Suriname? The country that's just French Guiana's less successful neighbor.", |
| 1155 | + "Suriname: Where everyone speaks five languages but can't talk their way to prosperity.", |
| 1156 | + "From Suriname? Let me guess, you're in Paramaribo or Amsterdam.", |
| 1157 | + "Suriname: The only country where the rainforest is worth more than the government.", |
| 1158 | + "Where 'development' means another Chinese loan for nothing useful.", |
| 1159 | + "Suriname: Proof that independence doesn't guarantee success.", |
| 1160 | + "From Suriname? Your country's biggest export is people to the Netherlands." |
| 1161 | + ], |
| 1162 | + paramaribo: [ |
| 1163 | + "Paramaribo? Where the wooden buildings last longer than political stability.", |
| 1164 | + "From Paramaribo? How's living in a UNESCO site that's falling apart?", |
| 1165 | + "Paramaribo: Where Dutch colonial architecture meets tropical decay.", |
| 1166 | + "Oh, Paramaribo? The capital that feels like a village with pretensions.", |
| 1167 | + "Paramaribo: Where everyone's connected because there's only 500,000 people.", |
| 1168 | + "From Paramaribo? Let me guess, your family reunion is the whole country.", |
| 1169 | + "Paramaribo: The only capital where traffic jams involve 10 cars.", |
| 1170 | + "Where 'nightlife' means the one club everyone goes to.", |
| 1171 | + "Paramaribo: Proof that being unique doesn't mean being successful.", |
| 1172 | + "From Paramaribo? Your city's biggest achievement is being a UNESCO site nobody visits." |
| 1173 | + ] |
| 1174 | + }, |
| 1175 | + |
| 1176 | + // FRENCH GUIANA |
| 1177 | + frenchguiana: { |
| 1178 | + generic: [ |
| 1179 | + "French Guiana? Where France launches rockets and dumps prisoners.", |
| 1180 | + "From French Guiana? How's being Europe's space port and forgotten colony?", |
| 1181 | + "French Guiana: Where the European Space Agency matters more than locals.", |
| 1182 | + "Oh, French Guiana? The place that's just France's tropical storage unit.", |
| 1183 | + "French Guiana: Where you use euros in the jungle.", |
| 1184 | + "From French Guiana? Let me guess, you work at the space center or wish you did.", |
| 1185 | + "French Guiana: The only place where French bureaucracy meets Amazon inefficiency.", |
| 1186 | + "Where 'development' means another rocket launch pad.", |
| 1187 | + "French Guiana: Proof that being part of France doesn't mean being French.", |
| 1188 | + "From French Guiana? Your territory's biggest export is satellites and sadness." |
| 1189 | + ], |
| 1190 | + cayenne: [ |
| 1191 | + "Cayenne? Spicier name than the actual city.", |
| 1192 | + "From Cayenne? How's living in France's most tropical disappointment?", |
| 1193 | + "Cayenne: Where French prices meet South American wages.", |
| 1194 | + "Oh, Cayenne? The capital of nowhere important.", |
| 1195 | + "Cayenne: Where the pepper has more fame than the place.", |
| 1196 | + "From Cayenne? Let me guess, you're counting days until you can move to mainland France.", |
| 1197 | + "Cayenne: The only capital where Devil's Island was the most interesting part.", |
| 1198 | + "Where 'culture' is whatever France forgot to take back.", |
| 1199 | + "Cayenne: Proof that French colonialism is alive and well.", |
| 1200 | + "From Cayenne? Your city's biggest achievement is being where paprika isn't from." |
| 1201 | + ] |
| 1202 | + }, |
| 1203 | + |
| 1204 | + // BARBADOS |
| 1205 | + barbados: { |
| 1206 | + generic: [ |
| 1207 | + "Barbados? Where Rihanna is the entire economy.", |
| 1208 | + "From Barbados? How's living on Britain's favorite Caribbean playground?", |
| 1209 | + "Barbados: Where everyone's either serving tourists or pretending to be British.", |
| 1210 | + "Oh, Barbados? The island that thinks it's too good for the rest of the Caribbean.", |
| 1211 | + "Barbados: Where the beaches are white but the colonial mindset is whiter.", |
| 1212 | + "From Barbados? Let me guess, you work in tourism or offshore banking.", |
| 1213 | + "Barbados: The only country where independence meant keeping the Queen.", |
| 1214 | + "Where 'culture' is cricket and whatever tourists expect.", |
| 1215 | + "Barbados: Proof that perfect beaches don't guarantee perfect society.", |
| 1216 | + "From Barbados? Your island's biggest export is Rihanna and colonial nostalgia." |
| 1217 | + ], |
| 1218 | + bridgetown: [ |
| 1219 | + "Bridgetown? Where the cruise ships matter more than citizens.", |
| 1220 | + "From Bridgetown? How's living in a UNESCO site overrun by tourists?", |
| 1221 | + "Bridgetown: Where history is preserved for visitors, not residents.", |
| 1222 | + "Oh, Bridgetown? The capital that exists to sell duty-free rum.", |
| 1223 | + "Bridgetown: Where locals avoid downtown because of cruise ship days.", |
| 1224 | + "From Bridgetown? Let me guess, you work in tourism but hate tourists.", |
| 1225 | + "Bridgetown: The only capital where the port is more important than parliament.", |
| 1226 | + "Where 'development' means another jewelry store for cruise passengers.", |
| 1227 | + "Bridgetown: Proof that UNESCO status doesn't pay local bills.", |
| 1228 | + "From Bridgetown? Your city's biggest achievement is being in Rihanna's passport." |
| 1229 | + ] |
| 1230 | + }, |
| 1231 | + |
| 1232 | + // TRINIDAD AND TOBAGO |
| 1233 | + trinidadandtobago: { |
| 1234 | + generic: [ |
| 1235 | + "Trinidad and Tobago? Where the oil money disappeared faster than Carnival costumes.", |
| 1236 | + "From T&T? How's that two-island nation with one-dimensional economy?", |
| 1237 | + "Trinidad and Tobago: Where everyone parties at Carnival then struggles all year.", |
| 1238 | + "Oh, T&T? The country that spent oil money like it was infinite.", |
| 1239 | + "Trinidad and Tobago: Where crime is higher than the soca volume.", |
| 1240 | + "From Trinidad? Let me guess, you're in energy or entertainment.", |
| 1241 | + "T&T: The only country where Carnival is the national retirement plan.", |
| 1242 | + "Where 'diversity' means arguing about Indian vs African food.", |
| 1243 | + "Trinidad and Tobago: Proof that oil wealth doesn't last forever.", |
| 1244 | + "From T&T? Your country's biggest export is Carnival costumes and brain drain." |
| 1245 | + ], |
| 1246 | + port_of_spain: [ |
| 1247 | + "Port of Spain? Where the party never stops because reality is too harsh.", |
| 1248 | + "From Port of Spain? How's living in a capital that peaks during Carnival?", |
| 1249 | + "Port of Spain: Where everyone's planning for Carnival or recovering from it.", |
| 1250 | + "Oh, Port of Spain? The city that's vibrant two days a year.", |
| 1251 | + "Port of Spain: Where the savannah is nice but surrounded by crime.", |
| 1252 | + "From Port of Spain? Let me guess, you know which areas to avoid after dark.", |
| 1253 | + "Port of Spain: The only capital where fetes matter more than employment.", |
| 1254 | + "Where 'culture' means steelpan and ignoring problems.", |
| 1255 | + "Port of Spain: Proof that good vibes can't fix bad governance.", |
| 1256 | + "From Port of Spain? Your city's biggest achievement is Carnival, annually." |
| 1257 | + ] |
| 1258 | + }, |
| 1259 | + |
| 1260 | + // BAHAMAS |
| 1261 | + bahamas: { |
| 1262 | + generic: [ |
| 1263 | + "Bahamas? Where the paradise is for tourists, not residents.", |
| 1264 | + "From the Bahamas? How's living in America's expensive beach house?", |
| 1265 | + "Bahamas: Where everyone's in tourism or wishing hurricane season ends it.", |
| 1266 | + "Oh, Bahamas? The country that's just Florida's offshore casino.", |
| 1267 | + "Bahamas: Where Atlantis Resort employs more people than the government.", |
| 1268 | + "From the Bahamas? Let me guess, you serve tourists or avoid them.", |
| 1269 | + "Bahamas: The only country where the fish are smarter than the politicians.", |
| 1270 | + "Where 'development' means another resort foreign-owned resort.", |
| 1271 | + "Bahamas: Proof that 700 islands can't create one functional government.", |
| 1272 | + "From the Bahamas? Your country's biggest export is empty beaches and full casinos." |
| 1273 | + ], |
| 1274 | + nassau: [ |
| 1275 | + "Nassau? Where cruise ships dump tourists like toxic waste.", |
| 1276 | + "From Nassau? How's living in a pirate haven turned tourist trap?", |
| 1277 | + "Nassau: Where Bay Street sells Chinese knockoffs to American tourists.", |
| 1278 | + "Oh, Nassau? The capital that exists for duty-free shopping.", |
| 1279 | + "Nassau: Where locals can't afford Paradise Island.", |
| 1280 | + "From Nassau? Let me guess, you work on Paradise Island but live in poverty.", |
| 1281 | + "Nassau: The only capital where straw markets outnumber supermarkets.", |
| 1282 | + "Where 'authentic' means whatever cruise passengers will buy.", |
| 1283 | + "Nassau: Proof that proximity to Florida isn't always good.", |
| 1284 | + "From Nassau? Your city's biggest achievement is convincing tourists it's authentic." |
| 1285 | + ] |
| 1286 | + }, |
| 1287 | + |
| 1288 | + // FIJI |
| 1289 | + fiji: { |
| 1290 | + generic: [ |
| 1291 | + "Fiji? Where the coups are more frequent than the flights.", |
| 1292 | + "From Fiji? How's that military democracy working out?", |
| 1293 | + "Fiji: Where everyone smiles for tourists then fights about ethnicity.", |
| 1294 | + "Oh, Fiji? The country that's just expensive water's homeland.", |
| 1295 | + "Fiji: Where indigenous rights depend on who's couping whom.", |
| 1296 | + "From Fiji? Let me guess, you're in tourism or the military.", |
| 1297 | + "Fiji: The only country where 'Bula' means hello and goodbye to democracy.", |
| 1298 | + "Where 'stability' is measured in months between coups.", |
| 1299 | + "Fiji: Proof that island paradise doesn't mean political paradise.", |
| 1300 | + "From Fiji? Your country's biggest export is water and instability." |
| 1301 | + ], |
| 1302 | + suva: [ |
| 1303 | + "Suva? Where it rains more than Seattle but with coup seasons.", |
| 1304 | + "From Suva? How's living in the Pacific's wettest, most coup-prone capital?", |
| 1305 | + "Suva: Where colonial buildings mold in the rain and politics.", |
| 1306 | + "Oh, Suva? The capital that makes you miss the resort islands.", |
| 1307 | + "Suva: Where everyone's either in government or plotting against it.", |
| 1308 | + "From Suva? Let me guess, you're explaining it's the capital, not Nadi.", |
| 1309 | + "Suva: The only capital where rain is more predictable than government.", |
| 1310 | + "Where 'nightlife' ends when the rain starts at 6 PM.", |
| 1311 | + "Suva: Proof that being a capital doesn't mean being visited.", |
| 1312 | + "From Suva? Your city's biggest achievement is not being overthrown this month." |
| 1313 | + ] |
| 1314 | + }, |
| 1315 | + |
| 1316 | + // PAPUA NEW GUINEA |
| 1317 | + papuanewguinea: { |
| 1318 | + generic: [ |
| 1319 | + "Papua New Guinea? Where there's 800 languages but no common sense.", |
| 1320 | + "From PNG? How's living in anthropology's last frontier?", |
| 1321 | + "Papua New Guinea: Where tribal warfare meets modern corruption.", |
| 1322 | + "Oh, PNG? The country that's just Australia's troubled basement.", |
| 1323 | + "Papua New Guinea: Where cannibalism ended recently but the government still eats people.", |
| 1324 | + "From PNG? Let me guess, you're in Port Moresby or fleeing it.", |
| 1325 | + "PNG: The only country where diversity means 800 ways to say 'help'.", |
| 1326 | + "Where 'development' is a word only heard in aid meetings.", |
| 1327 | + "Papua New Guinea: Proof that resources don't create prosperity.", |
| 1328 | + "From PNG? Your country's biggest export is raw materials and refined problems." |
| 1329 | + ], |
| 1330 | + port_moresby: [ |
| 1331 | + "Port Moresby? Where the crime rate is higher than the humidity.", |
| 1332 | + "From Port Moresby? How's living in the world's least livable capital?", |
| 1333 | + "Port Moresby: Where expats live in compounds and locals live in fear.", |
| 1334 | + "Oh, Port Moresby? The city that makes Lagos look safe.", |
| 1335 | + "Port Moresby: Where everyone's either a victim or about to be.", |
| 1336 | + "From Port Moresby? Let me guess, you travel in convoys for safety.", |
| 1337 | + "Port Moresby: The only capital where the airport is the safest place.", |
| 1338 | + "Where 'security' means armed guards for grocery shopping.", |
| 1339 | + "Port Moresby: Proof that being a capital doesn't mean being civilized.", |
| 1340 | + "From Port Moresby? Your city's biggest achievement is making other dangerous cities look appealing." |
| 1341 | + ] |
| 1342 | + }, |
| 1343 | + |
| 1344 | + // SOLOMON ISLANDS |
| 1345 | + solomonislands: { |
| 1346 | + generic: [ |
| 1347 | + "Solomon Islands? Where China and Taiwan play tug-of-war with aid money.", |
| 1348 | + "From the Solomons? How's being the Pacific's diplomatic prostitute?", |
| 1349 | + "Solomon Islands: Where logging companies have more power than the government.", |
| 1350 | + "Oh, Solomon Islands? The country that switches recognition for cash.", |
| 1351 | + "Solomon Islands: Where the forests disappear faster than the aid money.", |
| 1352 | + "From the Solomons? Let me guess, you're watching Chinese influence grow.", |
| 1353 | + "Solomon Islands: The only country where riots follow diplomatic switches.", |
| 1354 | + "Where 'development' means selling everything to the highest bidder.", |
| 1355 | + "Solomon Islands: Proof that island nations are geopolitical pawns.", |
| 1356 | + "From the Solomons? Your country's biggest export is logs and sovereignty." |
| 1357 | + ], |
| 1358 | + honiara: [ |
| 1359 | + "Honiara? Where the Chinatown burns every few years.", |
| 1360 | + "From Honiara? How's living in the Pacific's most riot-prone capital?", |
| 1361 | + "Honiara: Where ethnic tensions simmer hotter than the weather.", |
| 1362 | + "Oh, Honiara? The capital built on WWII debris and modern dysfunction.", |
| 1363 | + "Honiara: Where everyone knows when the next riot is coming.", |
| 1364 | + "From Honiara? Let me guess, you avoid certain areas and times.", |
| 1365 | + "Honiara: The only capital where the Chinese embassy needs constant guards.", |
| 1366 | + "Where 'stability' means months without burning buildings.", |
| 1367 | + "Honiara: Proof that small capitals can have big problems.", |
| 1368 | + "From Honiara? Your city's biggest achievement is rebuilding after each riot." |
| 1369 | + ] |
| 1370 | + }, |
| 1371 | + |
| 1372 | + // VANUATU |
| 1373 | + vanuatu: { |
| 1374 | + generic: [ |
| 1375 | + "Vanuatu? Where citizenship is for sale and earthquakes are free.", |
| 1376 | + "From Vanuatu? How's living on the Ring of Fire's shakiest democracy?", |
| 1377 | + "Vanuatu: Where everyone's either selling passports or waiting for volcanoes.", |
| 1378 | + "Oh, Vanuatu? The country that's just a tax haven with tsunamis.", |
| 1379 | + "Vanuatu: Where the earth shakes more than the corrupt government.", |
| 1380 | + "From Vanuatu? Let me guess, you're in passport sales or disaster prep.", |
| 1381 | + "Vanuatu: The only country where citizenship costs less than safety.", |
| 1382 | + "Where 'planning' means hoping the volcano doesn't erupt.", |
| 1383 | + "Vanuatu: Proof that paradise comes with natural disasters.", |
| 1384 | + "From Vanuatu? Your country's biggest export is passports and earthquake footage." |
| 1385 | + ], |
| 1386 | + port_vila: [ |
| 1387 | + "Port Vila? Where expats buy passports and locals can't buy bread.", |
| 1388 | + "From Port Vila? How's living in the Pacific's passport printing shop?", |
| 1389 | + "Port Vila: Where every other business is citizenship consulting.", |
| 1390 | + "Oh, Port Vila? The capital that exists to sell what shouldn't be sold.", |
| 1391 | + "Port Vila: Where the harbor is full of tax-dodging yachts.", |
| 1392 | + "From Port Vila? Let me guess, you work in 'investment immigration'.", |
| 1393 | + "Port Vila: The only capital where earthquakes do urban planning.", |
| 1394 | + "Where 'development' means another citizenship scheme.", |
| 1395 | + "Port Vila: Proof that selling passports doesn't build nations.", |
| 1396 | + "From Port Vila? Your city's biggest achievement is surviving between disasters." |
| 1397 | + ] |
| 1398 | + }, |
| 1399 | + |
| 1400 | + // SAMOA |
| 1401 | + samoa: { |
| 1402 | + generic: [ |
| 1403 | + "Samoa? Where the time zone change confused even the locals.", |
| 1404 | + "From Samoa? How's living in yesterday or tomorrow, depending on the year?", |
| 1405 | + "Samoa: Where everyone's related and the chief knows it.", |
| 1406 | + "Oh, Samoa? The country that's just American Samoa's less American sibling.", |
| 1407 | + "Samoa: Where fa'a Samoa means tradition trumps everything, including progress.", |
| 1408 | + "From Samoa? Let me guess, you're sending money back from New Zealand.", |
| 1409 | + "Samoa: The only country where changing which side to drive on is recent news.", |
| 1410 | + "Where 'development' respects tradition, meaning it doesn't happen.", |
| 1411 | + "Samoa: Proof that independence doesn't mean economic independence.", |
| 1412 | + "From Samoa? Your country's biggest export is rugby players and remittances." |
| 1413 | + ], |
| 1414 | + apia: [ |
| 1415 | + "Apia? Where Robert Louis Stevenson is still the most famous resident.", |
| 1416 | + "From Apia? How's living in a capital that feels like a large village?", |
| 1417 | + "Apia: Where the tsunami rebuilding is still happening.", |
| 1418 | + "Oh, Apia? The capital that floods when someone waters their garden.", |
| 1419 | + "Apia: Where everyone knows everyone's business, unfortunately.", |
| 1420 | + "From Apia? Let me guess, you're related to half the city.", |
| 1421 | + "Apia: The only capital where traditional meetings last longer than parliament.", |
| 1422 | + "Where 'rush hour' is five cars at the same intersection.", |
| 1423 | + "Apia: Proof that being a capital doesn't require traffic lights.", |
| 1424 | + "From Apia? Your city's biggest achievement is confusing tourists about the time zone." |
| 1425 | + ] |
| 1426 | + }, |
| 1427 | + |
| 1428 | + // TONGA |
| 1429 | + tonga: { |
| 1430 | + generic: [ |
| 1431 | + "Tonga? Where the king is fatter than the GDP.", |
| 1432 | + "From Tonga? How's living under the Pacific's last monarchy?", |
| 1433 | + "Tonga: Where everyone's noble or related to someone who claims to be.", |
| 1434 | + "Oh, Tonga? The kingdom that's just a royal family with islands.", |
| 1435 | + "Tonga: Where tradition means the royals stay rich and everyone else doesn't.", |
| 1436 | + "From Tonga? Let me guess, you're in New Zealand or sending money home.", |
| 1437 | + "Tonga: The only country where the monarchy has more weight than democracy, literally.", |
| 1438 | + "Where 'reform' means the king allows slightly more criticism.", |
| 1439 | + "Tonga: Proof that being a kingdom doesn't make you magical.", |
| 1440 | + "From Tonga? Your country's biggest export is rugby players to real countries." |
| 1441 | + ], |
| 1442 | + nukualofa: [ |
| 1443 | + "Nuku'alofa? Where the apostrophe is the most exciting part.", |
| 1444 | + "From Nuku'alofa? How's living in a capital that sounds like a sneeze?", |
| 1445 | + "Nuku'alofa: Where the palace is the only building worth noting.", |
| 1446 | + "Oh, Nuku'alofa? The capital that tsunamis use for practice.", |
| 1447 | + "Nuku'alofa: Where everyone's watching the royals waste money.", |
| 1448 | + "From Nuku'alofa? Let me guess, you're planning your move to Auckland.", |
| 1449 | + "Nuku'alofa: The only capital where pigs have right of way.", |
| 1450 | + "Where 'infrastructure' is a word only foreign aid workers use.", |
| 1451 | + "Nuku'alofa: Proof that having a palace doesn't make you important.", |
| 1452 | + "From Nuku'alofa? Your city's biggest achievement is being hard to pronounce." |
| 1453 | + ] |
| 1454 | + }, |
| 1455 | + |
| 1456 | + // MICRONESIA |
| 1457 | + micronesia: { |
| 1458 | + generic: [ |
| 1459 | + "Micronesia? Where the US aid is bigger than the economy.", |
| 1460 | + "From Micronesia? How's being America's forgotten Pacific welfare state?", |
| 1461 | + "Micronesia: Where everyone's either fishing or waiting for US checks.", |
| 1462 | + "Oh, Micronesia? The country that's just American military bases with flags.", |
| 1463 | + "Micronesia: Where independence means dependence on American money.", |
| 1464 | + "From Micronesia? Let me guess, you're using that US passport privilege.", |
| 1465 | + "Micronesia: The only country where Compact money is the compact everything.", |
| 1466 | + "Where 'development' means whatever the US military needs.", |
| 1467 | + "Micronesia: Proof that strategic location beats actual development.", |
| 1468 | + "From Micronesia? Your country's biggest export is strategic military position." |
| 1469 | + ] |
| 1470 | + }, |
| 1471 | + |
| 1472 | + // PALAU |
| 1473 | + palau: { |
| 1474 | + generic: [ |
| 1475 | + "Palau? Where tourists underwater outnumber locals above it.", |
| 1476 | + "From Palau? How's living in a diving destination with no economy?", |
| 1477 | + "Palau: Where jellyfish lakes matter more than human development.", |
| 1478 | + "Oh, Palau? The country that's just an expensive scuba trip.", |
| 1479 | + "Palau: Where Chinese tourists were banned and the economy noticed.", |
| 1480 | + "From Palau? Let me guess, you work in diving or government.", |
| 1481 | + "Palau: The only country where fish have more rights than workers.", |
| 1482 | + "Where 'conservation' means keeping locals poor for tourist photos.", |
| 1483 | + "Palau: Proof that environmental protection doesn't pay bills.", |
| 1484 | + "From Palau? Your country's biggest export is underwater photos and debt." |
| 1485 | + ] |
| 1486 | + }, |
| 1487 | + |
| 1488 | + // MARSHALL ISLANDS |
| 1489 | + marshallislands: { |
| 1490 | + generic: [ |
| 1491 | + "Marshall Islands? Where nuclear testing left more impact than independence.", |
| 1492 | + "From the Marshalls? How's that radiation working out for you?", |
| 1493 | + "Marshall Islands: Where the US tested bombs and now tests climate change.", |
| 1494 | + "Oh, Marshall Islands? The country that's sinking from what America did to it.", |
| 1495 | + "Marshall Islands: Where the compact money barely covers the cancer treatments.", |
| 1496 | + "From the Marshalls? Let me guess, you're worried about sea level and radiation level.", |
| 1497 | + "Marshall Islands: The only country where the past glows and the future drowns.", |
| 1498 | + "Where 'reparations' means not enough for what was done.", |
| 1499 | + "Marshall Islands: Proof that strategic location means being expendable.", |
| 1500 | + "From the Marshalls? Your country's biggest export is lawsuits and radiation data." |
| 1501 | + ] |
| 1502 | + }, |
| 1503 | + |
| 1504 | + // KIRIBATI |
| 1505 | + kiribati: { |
| 1506 | + generic: [ |
| 1507 | + "Kiribati? The country that's drowning while the world watches.", |
| 1508 | + "From Kiribati? How's planning your country's funeral?", |
| 1509 | + "Kiribati: Where climate change isn't debate, it's the tide schedule.", |
| 1510 | + "Oh, Kiribati? The country buying land in Fiji for when yours disappears.", |
| 1511 | + "Kiribati: Where every high tide is an existential crisis.", |
| 1512 | + "From Kiribati? Let me guess, you're learning to swim or already left.", |
| 1513 | + "Kiribati: The only country where elevation is measured in inches.", |
| 1514 | + "Where 'future planning' means which country to flee to.", |
| 1515 | + "Kiribati: Proof that island paradise can become ocean floor.", |
| 1516 | + "From Kiribati? Your country's biggest export is climate change warnings nobody heeds." |
| 1517 | + ] |
| 1518 | + }, |
| 1519 | + |
| 1520 | + // TUVALU |
| 1521 | + tuvalu: { |
| 1522 | + generic: [ |
| 1523 | + "Tuvalu? Where the internet domain is worth more than the country.", |
| 1524 | + "From Tuvalu? How's living on islands that won't exist in 50 years?", |
| 1525 | + "Tuvalu: Where .tv revenue is the only thing keeping you afloat, literally.", |
| 1526 | + "Oh, Tuvalu? The country that's selling its digital space because the physical is drowning.", |
| 1527 | + "Tuvalu: Where everyone's planning their evacuation to New Zealand.", |
| 1528 | + "From Tuvalu? Let me guess, you're grateful for that internet domain money.", |
| 1529 | + "Tuvalu: The only country where Google Earth needs frequent updates as it shrinks.", |
| 1530 | + "Where 'national planning' means negotiating refugee status in advance.", |
| 1531 | + "Tuvalu: Proof that countries can disappear in the digital age.", |
| 1532 | + "From Tuvalu? Your country's biggest export is domain names and desperation." |
| 1533 | + ] |
| 1534 | + }, |
| 1535 | + |
| 1536 | + // NAURU |
| 1537 | + nauru: { |
| 1538 | + generic: [ |
| 1539 | + "Nauru? Where the bird shit money ran out and so did hope.", |
| 1540 | + "From Nauru? How's living on a strip-mined rock in the ocean?", |
| 1541 | + "Nauru: Where phosphate wealth became poverty faster than you can say 'mining'.", |
| 1542 | + "Oh, Nauru? The country that ate itself and sold the scraps.", |
| 1543 | + "Nauru: Where Australian detention centers are the main employer.", |
| 1544 | + "From Nauru? Let me guess, you work for the camps or wish they'd leave.", |
| 1545 | + "Nauru: The only country where the before photos looked better.", |
| 1546 | + "Where 'economy' means whatever Australia pays for refugee storage.", |
| 1547 | + "Nauru: Proof that resource wealth guarantees nothing.", |
| 1548 | + "From Nauru? Your country's biggest export is human rights violations and regret." |
| 1549 | + ] |
| 1550 | + }, |
| 1551 | + |
| 1552 | + // COOK ISLANDS |
| 1553 | + cookislands: { |
| 1554 | + generic: [ |
| 1555 | + "Cook Islands? New Zealand's tax haven with beaches.", |
| 1556 | + "From the Cooks? How's being a country that's not quite a country?", |
| 1557 | + "Cook Islands: Where everyone's either in tourism or financial services, both shady.", |
| 1558 | + "Oh, Cook Islands? The territory that's independent when convenient.", |
| 1559 | + "Cook Islands: Where the population is mostly in New Zealand anyway.", |
| 1560 | + "From the Cooks? Let me guess, you're selling something to tourists or hiding something for criminals.", |
| 1561 | + "Cook Islands: The only place where having New Zealand's protection means enabling tax dodging.", |
| 1562 | + "Where 'culture' is performed for cruise ships twice a week.", |
| 1563 | + "Cook Islands: Proof that paradise can be a front for financial crimes.", |
| 1564 | + "From the Cooks? Your country's biggest export is tax avoidance schemes and black pearls." |
| 1565 | + ] |
| 1566 | + }, |
| 1567 | + |
| 1568 | + // NIUE |
| 1569 | + niue: { |
| 1570 | + generic: [ |
| 1571 | + "Niue? The country with more internet domains than people.", |
| 1572 | + "From Niue? How's living on a rock with Wi-Fi?", |
| 1573 | + "Niue: Where the population fits in a large restaurant.", |
| 1574 | + "Oh, Niue? The country that's one hurricane away from evacuation.", |
| 1575 | + "Niue: Where everyone's related and living in New Zealand.", |
| 1576 | + "From Niue? Let me guess, you're one of the 1,500 people or you're lying.", |
| 1577 | + "Niue: The only country where the phone book is a pamphlet.", |
| 1578 | + "Where 'infrastructure' means the one road around the island.", |
| 1579 | + "Niue: Proof that you can be a country with fewer people than a concert.", |
| 1580 | + "From Niue? Your country's biggest achievement is having more domains than citizens." |
| 1581 | + ] |
| 1582 | + }, |
| 1583 | + |
| 1584 | + // Generic/Default roasts for any unmatched location |
| 1585 | + default: [ |
| 1586 | + "Your location is so irrelevant, even Google Maps just shrugs.", |
| 1587 | + "From there? I'd roast your hometown but it would require me to care about it first.", |
| 1588 | + "Your area is so forgettable, even this roast generator had nothing prepared.", |
| 1589 | + "I'd make fun of where you're from, but I don't want to punch down that far.", |
| 1590 | + "Your location is like a generic brand cereal - technically exists but nobody's first choice.", |
| 1591 | + "Oh, you're from there? That's nice. Anyway...", |
| 1592 | + "Your hometown is the geographic equivalent of elevator music.", |
| 1593 | + "From there? Even your GPS tries to avoid it.", |
| 1594 | + "Your location is so bland, mayonnaise thinks it needs more flavor.", |
| 1595 | + "I'd google your hometown but I don't want that in my search history.", |
| 1596 | + "Your area's so unremarkable, even this burn feels like too much attention.", |
| 1597 | + "From there? The place so boring, even the Wikipedia page is just one sentence.", |
| 1598 | + "Your hometown's like a rest stop - people only go there when they have to.", |
| 1599 | + "The most interesting thing about your location is that you left.", |
| 1600 | + "Your area's claim to fame is people confusing it with somewhere better.", |
| 1601 | + "From there? That explains the personality.", |
| 1602 | + "Your location is what happens when God runs out of ideas.", |
| 1603 | + "I've heard of nowhere, and your town is 20 minutes past that.", |
| 1604 | + "Your hometown's so irrelevant, even COVID skipped it.", |
| 1605 | + "From there? The place where ambition goes to die and mediocrity thrives." |
| 1606 | + ] |
| 1607 | +}; Massachusetts? Where everyone thinks they're wicked smaht but can't pronounce the letter R to save their lives.", |
| 7 | 1608 | "Let me guess, you think Dunkin' is a personality trait and you've told someone about the Sox within the last hour.", |
| 8 | 1609 | "Massachusetts: Where people pay $3,000/month to live in a closet and call it 'character'.", |
| 9 | 1610 | "From Mass? Your entire personality is Irish heritage you can't prove and opinions about Tom Brady.", |
@@ -38,6 +1639,105 @@ export const roastDatabase = { |
| 38 | 1639 | ] |
| 39 | 1640 | }, |
| 40 | 1641 | |
| 1642 | + // RHODE ISLAND |
| 1643 | + rhodeisland: { |
| 1644 | + generic: [ |
| 1645 | + "Rhode Island? The state so small, GPS just says 'you'll miss it if you blink'.", |
| 1646 | + "From Rhode Island? How's it feel living in Massachusetts' parking lot?", |
| 1647 | + "Rhode Island: Where everyone knows everyone because there's only 12 of you.", |
| 1648 | + "Oh, Rhode Island? The state that's basically just Providence and some beaches for Mass residents.", |
| 1649 | + "Rhode Island: Where 'far away' means 20 minutes and that's crossing the entire state.", |
| 1650 | + "From Rhode Island? Let me guess, you have 'island' in the name but aren't actually an island.", |
| 1651 | + "Rhode Island: The only state where coffee milk is a thing and corruption is a tradition.", |
| 1652 | + "Where everyone's either Italian, Portuguese, or pretending to be.", |
| 1653 | + "Rhode Island: Proof that good things don't come in small packages.", |
| 1654 | + "From Rhode Island? Your state is so small, your weather forecast is just 'same as Boston'.", |
| 1655 | + "Rhode Island: Where the mob history is more interesting than the present.", |
| 1656 | + "The state that exists solely so Massachusetts has somewhere to dump their garbage.", |
| 1657 | + "Rhode Island: Where everyone's related but nobody admits it.", |
| 1658 | + "From Rhode Island? Your biggest flex is having the longest name for the smallest state.", |
| 1659 | + "Rhode Island: Connecticut's even smaller, even more forgotten sibling." |
| 1660 | + ], |
| 1661 | + providence: [ |
| 1662 | + "Providence? The city that's just Boston's rebound after Worcester didn't work out.", |
| 1663 | + "From Providence? How's being the capital of America's smallest, most corrupt state?", |
| 1664 | + "Providence: Where the mob used to run things better than the current government.", |
| 1665 | + "Oh, Providence? The city where Brown University is the only thing preventing total irrelevance.", |
| 1666 | + "Providence: Where everyone's either a student or wondering why they stayed after graduation.", |
| 1667 | + "From Providence? Let me guess, you tell people you're 'basically from Boston'.", |
| 1668 | + "Providence: The only city where WaterFire is considered a major cultural event.", |
| 1669 | + "Where 'nightlife' means Federal Hill restaurants that close at 9 PM.", |
| 1670 | + "Providence: Boston's practice squad that never made it to the big leagues.", |
| 1671 | + "From Providence? Your city's biggest achievement is being mentioned in Family Guy occasionally." |
| 1672 | + ] |
| 1673 | + }, |
| 1674 | + |
| 1675 | + // CONNECTICUT |
| 1676 | + connecticut: { |
| 1677 | + generic: [ |
| 1678 | + "Connecticut? The state that exists solely as a highway between Boston and New York.", |
| 1679 | + "From Connecticut? How's it feel being New York's most expensive suburb?", |
| 1680 | + "Connecticut: Where the hedge funds are tall and the personalities are hedge-funded.", |
| 1681 | + "Oh, Connecticut? The state where even the trees are pretentious.", |
| 1682 | + "Connecticut: Where everyone's dad works in finance and their mom sells real estate.", |
| 1683 | + "From Connecticut? Let me guess, you went to prep school and still wear the blazer.", |
| 1684 | + "Connecticut: The only state where traffic jams are caused by leaf peepers and luxury cars.", |
| 1685 | + "Where 'middle class' means your yacht only has one deck.", |
| 1686 | + "Connecticut: Proof that money can't buy relevance.", |
| 1687 | + "From Connecticut? Your state's biggest export is trust fund kids who 'work' in Manhattan.", |
| 1688 | + "Connecticut: Where property taxes are higher than the average American's salary.", |
| 1689 | + "The state where every town thinks it's the 'real' Connecticut.", |
| 1690 | + "Connecticut: New York's storage unit for rich people who hate fun.", |
| 1691 | + "From Connecticut? You definitely have a lacrosse stick gathering dust somewhere.", |
| 1692 | + "Connecticut: Where the only culture is arguing about whether you're New England or Tri-State." |
| 1693 | + ], |
| 1694 | + hartford: [ |
| 1695 | + "Hartford? The insurance capital where dreams go to get denied coverage.", |
| 1696 | + "From Hartford? How's it feel being Connecticut's most irrelevant capital city?", |
| 1697 | + "Hartford: Where the most exciting thing is calculating premiums.", |
| 1698 | + "Oh, Hartford? The city that makes Providence look like Paris.", |
| 1699 | + "Hartford: Where everyone either sells insurance or wishes they were dead.", |
| 1700 | + "From Hartford? Let me guess, your city's motto is 'At least we're not Bridgeport'.", |
| 1701 | + "Hartford: The only capital city that most people can't identify on a map.", |
| 1702 | + "Where 'urban renewal' has been 'coming soon' since 1965.", |
| 1703 | + "Hartford: Springfield's slightly classier, equally depressing twin.", |
| 1704 | + "From Hartford? Your city's biggest achievement is making actuarial science look exciting by comparison." |
| 1705 | + ] |
| 1706 | + }, |
| 1707 | + |
| 1708 | + // NEW HAMPSHIRE |
| 1709 | + newhampshire: { |
| 1710 | + generic: [ |
| 1711 | + "New Hampshire? Where 'Live Free or Die' means no taxes but also no funding for anything.", |
| 1712 | + "From New Hampshire? How's that libertarian paradise with crumbling infrastructure?", |
| 1713 | + "New Hampshire: Vermont's angrier, less successful twin who owns too many guns.", |
| 1714 | + "Oh, New Hampshire? The state that's just Massachusetts' backyard for cheap liquor and fireworks.", |
| 1715 | + "New Hampshire: Where everyone's a 'granite stater' but nobody knows what that means.", |
| 1716 | + "From New Hampshire? Let me guess, you're either from Mass originally or selling something to someone from Mass.", |
| 1717 | + "New Hampshire: The only state where political relevance lasts exactly one primary season.", |
| 1718 | + "Where 'diversity' means both kinds of white people.", |
| 1719 | + "New Hampshire: Proof that no taxes means no services worth having.", |
| 1720 | + "From New Hampshire? Your state motto should be 'Live Free and Die Bitter'.", |
| 1721 | + "New Hampshire: Where the leaves change colors but the politics stay the same shade of angry.", |
| 1722 | + "The state where everyone's a rugged individualist who depends on Massachusetts for jobs.", |
| 1723 | + "New Hampshire: Maine's less interesting neighbor that people drive through quickly.", |
| 1724 | + "From New Hampshire? You definitely have strong opinions about Massachusetts drivers.", |
| 1725 | + "New Hampshire: Where the mountains are beautiful and the people are suspicious of everything." |
| 1726 | + ], |
| 1727 | + manchester: [ |
| 1728 | + "Manchester? New Hampshire's attempt at having a real city, and it shows.", |
| 1729 | + "From Manchester? How's it feel being the biggest city in a state nobody thinks about?", |
| 1730 | + "Manchester: Where the mills closed decades ago but the depression stayed.", |
| 1731 | + "Oh, Manchester? The city that's just Lowell, Massachusetts with worse food.", |
| 1732 | + "Manchester: Where everyone works in Mass but pretends NH is better.", |
| 1733 | + "From Manchester? Let me guess, your downtown revitalization has been 'almost done' for 20 years.", |
| 1734 | + "Manchester: The only city where the airport is the most exciting thing.", |
| 1735 | + "Where 'culture' means a minor league baseball team and chain restaurants.", |
| 1736 | + "Manchester: Boston's forgotten storage closet.", |
| 1737 | + "From Manchester? Your city's claim to fame is being mentioned in The West Wing once." |
| 1738 | + ] |
| 1739 | + }, |
| 1740 | + |
| 41 | 1741 | // MAINE |
| 42 | 1742 | maine: { |
| 43 | 1743 | generic: [ |
@@ -47,54 +1747,666 @@ export const roastDatabase = { |
| 47 | 1747 | "Oh, Maine? The state where winter lasts 11 months and the other month is mud season.", |
| 48 | 1748 | "Maine: Where 'tourist season' means overcharging for seafood and flannel.", |
| 49 | 1749 | "From Maine? Let me guess, you pronounce 'car' like 'cah' but ironically.", |
| 50 | | - "Maine: The only state where wearing Bean boots to a wedding is considered formal.", |
| 1750 | + "Maine: The only state where Bean boots to a wedding is considered formal.", |
| 51 | 1751 | "Where 'culture' means arguing about which lobster shack is authentic.", |
| 52 | 1752 | "Maine: New Hampshire's more expensive, less relevant sibling.", |
| 53 | 1753 | "From Maine? Your state's biggest achievement is Stephen King novels that nobody finishes." |
| 54 | 1754 | ], |
| 55 | | - portland: [ |
| 56 | | - "Portland, Maine? The city trying so hard to be Portland, Oregon but with worse weather.", |
| 57 | | - "From Portland, Maine? How's that craft brewery scene working with a population of 12?", |
| 58 | | - "Portland: Where every restaurant is 'farm to table' because there's literally nothing else.", |
| 59 | | - "Oh, Portland? The city where hipsters go to feel rustic.", |
| 60 | | - "Portland: Where everyone's a foodie but the food is just expensive lobster rolls.", |
| 61 | | - "From Portland? You definitely have strong opinions about which donut shop is better.", |
| 62 | | - "Portland: The only city where gentrification means adding a Starbucks.", |
| 63 | | - "Where 'artisanal' means overpriced and 'local' means your cousin made it.", |
| 64 | | - "Portland: Seattle's less successful, more pretentious cousin.", |
| 65 | | - "From Portland, Maine? Your city peaked when it was featured in a food magazine once." |
| 1755 | + portland: [ |
| 1756 | + "Portland, Maine? The city trying so hard to be Portland, Oregon but with worse weather.", |
| 1757 | + "From Portland, Maine? How's that craft brewery scene working with a population of 12?", |
| 1758 | + "Portland: Where every restaurant is 'farm to table' because there's literally nothing else.", |
| 1759 | + "Oh, Portland? The city where hipsters go to feel rustic.", |
| 1760 | + "Portland: Where everyone's a foodie but the food is just expensive lobster rolls.", |
| 1761 | + "From Portland? You definitely have strong opinions about which donut shop is better.", |
| 1762 | + "Portland: The only city where gentrification means adding a Starbucks.", |
| 1763 | + "Where 'artisanal' means overpriced and 'local' means your cousin made it.", |
| 1764 | + "Portland: Seattle's less successful, more pretentious cousin.", |
| 1765 | + "From Portland, Maine? Your city peaked when it was featured in a food magazine once." |
| 1766 | + ] |
| 1767 | + }, |
| 1768 | + |
| 1769 | + // VERMONT |
| 1770 | + vermont: { |
| 1771 | + generic: [ |
| 1772 | + "Vermont? Where everyone's a socialist with a trust fund.", |
| 1773 | + "From Vermont? How's that maple syrup economy working out?", |
| 1774 | + "Vermont: Where the cows outnumber the people and have better healthcare.", |
| 1775 | + "Oh, Vermont? The state that's just New Hampshire with more guilt about being white.", |
| 1776 | + "Vermont: Where Bernie Sanders is your most normal resident.", |
| 1777 | + "From Vermont? Let me guess, you make your own kombucha and judge people who don't.", |
| 1778 | + "Vermont: The only state where being carbon neutral is a personality trait.", |
| 1779 | + "Where everyone drives a Subaru to their organic farm job.", |
| 1780 | + "Vermont: Proof that you can be liberal and boring at the same time.", |
| 1781 | + "From Vermont? Your state's biggest export is sanctimonious college students." |
| 1782 | + ], |
| 1783 | + burlington: [ |
| 1784 | + "Burlington? The city where every college kid thinks they discovered socialism.", |
| 1785 | + "From Burlington? How's that progressive paradise with no diversity working out?", |
| 1786 | + "Burlington: Where everyone's woke but the city still sleeps at 9 PM.", |
| 1787 | + "Oh, Burlington? The city that's just a college town with delusions of importance.", |
| 1788 | + "Burlington: Where craft beer costs more than your rent in other states.", |
| 1789 | + "From Burlington? You definitely have a coexist sticker and zero self-awareness.", |
| 1790 | + "Burlington: The only city where being sustainable means you can't afford not to be.", |
| 1791 | + "Where 'culture' means farmer's markets and pretentious coffee shops.", |
| 1792 | + "Burlington: Portland's less cool, more pretentious cousin who went to liberal arts school.", |
| 1793 | + "From Burlington? Your city's idea of diversity is having both IPA and stout on tap." |
| 1794 | + ] |
| 1795 | + }, |
| 1796 | + |
| 1797 | + // MARYLAND |
| 1798 | + maryland: { |
| 1799 | + generic: [ |
| 1800 | + "Maryland? Where everyone argues about whether they're Southern or Northern and they're neither.", |
| 1801 | + "From Maryland? How's that identity crisis shaped like a gerrymandered disaster?", |
| 1802 | + "Maryland: Where Old Bay is a religion and crabs are the only culture.", |
| 1803 | + "Oh, Maryland? The state that's just DC's parking lot with a flag.", |
| 1804 | + "Maryland: Where everyone's either a government contractor or wishes they were.", |
| 1805 | + "From Maryland? Let me guess, you put Old Bay on everything including your personality.", |
| 1806 | + "Maryland: The only state where the flag looks like a NASCAR jacket and acts like one too.", |
| 1807 | + "Where 'diversity' means different types of suburban sprawl.", |
| 1808 | + "Maryland: Proof that being near power doesn't make you powerful.", |
| 1809 | + "From Maryland? Your state's biggest achievement is hosting DC's overflow.", |
| 1810 | + "Maryland: Where the drivers are worse than Jersey but with less self-awareness.", |
| 1811 | + "The state that exists to make Virginia feel better about itself.", |
| 1812 | + "Maryland: Where everyone claims Baltimore or DC but lives in Columbia.", |
| 1813 | + "From Maryland? You definitely have opinions about crab cakes and all of them are wrong.", |
| 1814 | + "Maryland: The DMV's least memorable letter." |
| 1815 | + ], |
| 1816 | + baltimore: [ |
| 1817 | + "Baltimore? The city where The Wire was a documentary, not a drama.", |
| 1818 | + "From Baltimore? How's that 'Charm City' nickname working out with the murder rate?", |
| 1819 | + "Baltimore: Where the Inner Harbor is nice and literally everywhere else is terrifying.", |
| 1820 | + "Oh, Baltimore? The city that makes Detroit look like a success story.", |
| 1821 | + "Baltimore: Where everyone's either dealing drugs or crab cakes.", |
| 1822 | + "From Baltimore? Let me guess, you tell people you're from 'near DC'.", |
| 1823 | + "Baltimore: The only city where abandoned row houses outnumber occupied ones.", |
| 1824 | + "Where 'hon' is a greeting and hope is a foreign concept.", |
| 1825 | + "Baltimore: Philadelphia's even more violent, less relevant cousin.", |
| 1826 | + "From Baltimore? Your city's biggest export is depression and HBO drama material.", |
| 1827 | + "Baltimore: Where the Ravens are the only thing that hasn't abandoned the city.", |
| 1828 | + "The city where gentrification can't even get a foothold.", |
| 1829 | + "Baltimore: Proof that having a port doesn't make you important anymore.", |
| 1830 | + "From Baltimore? You definitely know which neighborhoods to avoid, which is most of them.", |
| 1831 | + "Baltimore: Where 'urban decay' isn't a phase, it's a permanent state." |
| 1832 | + ], |
| 1833 | + annapolis: [ |
| 1834 | + "Annapolis? The city that thinks having a Naval Academy makes it relevant.", |
| 1835 | + "From Annapolis? How's that preppy sailor town treating your ego?", |
| 1836 | + "Annapolis: Where everyone's either military, selling boats, or lost.", |
| 1837 | + "Oh, Annapolis? Maryland's attempt at having a classy city, and failing.", |
| 1838 | + "Annapolis: Where the state capital is less important than the mall nearby.", |
| 1839 | + "From Annapolis? Let me guess, you own boat shoes but get seasick.", |
| 1840 | + "Annapolis: The only capital where tourists outnumber government workers.", |
| 1841 | + "Where 'historic' means overpriced and 'charming' means tiny.", |
| 1842 | + "Annapolis: DC's nautical-themed retirement home.", |
| 1843 | + "From Annapolis? Your city's biggest achievement is being Maryland's prettiest irrelevant town." |
| 1844 | + ] |
| 1845 | + }, |
| 1846 | + |
| 1847 | + // WASHINGTON DC |
| 1848 | + dc: { |
| 1849 | + generic: [ |
| 1850 | + "DC? Where everyone's either running the country or ruining it.", |
| 1851 | + "From DC? How's that swamp treating you, literally and figuratively?", |
| 1852 | + "Washington DC: Where the monuments are permanent but the ethics are negotiable.", |
| 1853 | + "Oh, DC? The city where everyone's a consultant which means unemployed with a LinkedIn.", |
| 1854 | + "DC: Where everyone name-drops their security clearance level at brunch.", |
| 1855 | + "From DC? Let me guess, you work for a three-letter agency or a think tank nobody's heard of.", |
| 1856 | + "DC: The only city where happy hour starts at 3 PM because government workers gave up by lunch.", |
| 1857 | + "Where 'networking' is a survival skill and authenticity is a liability.", |
| 1858 | + "DC: Proof that power corrupts and also makes you boring at parties.", |
| 1859 | + "From DC? Your personality is your job title and your job is explaining acronyms.", |
| 1860 | + "DC: Where everyone's 'changing the world' from their cubicle.", |
| 1861 | + "The city where ambition goes to become bureaucracy.", |
| 1862 | + "DC: Where the metro catches fire more often than political careers.", |
| 1863 | + "From DC? You definitely have opinions about which quadrant is 'real DC'.", |
| 1864 | + "DC: New York's less fun cousin who went to Georgetown and never left." |
| 1865 | + ] |
| 1866 | + }, |
| 1867 | + |
| 1868 | + // DELAWARE |
| 1869 | + delaware: { |
| 1870 | + generic: [ |
| 1871 | + "Delaware? The state that exists solely for tax evasion and credit card companies.", |
| 1872 | + "From Delaware? How's it feel being America's corporate filing cabinet?", |
| 1873 | + "Delaware: Where the beaches are nice but the rest is basically a highway rest stop.", |
| 1874 | + "Oh, Delaware? The state everyone forgets exists until they need to incorporate an LLC.", |
| 1875 | + "Delaware: Where 'no sales tax' is the entire personality.", |
| 1876 | + "From Delaware? Let me guess, you tell people you're from 'near Philly' or 'by the beach'.", |
| 1877 | + "Delaware: The only state where being first means being forgettable.", |
| 1878 | + "Where the population is 50% chickens, 49% corporate lawyers, 1% actual humans.", |
| 1879 | + "Delaware: Proof that being small and convenient doesn't make you interesting.", |
| 1880 | + "From Delaware? Your state is just Maryland's boring appendix.", |
| 1881 | + "Delaware: Where the most exciting thing is driving through to somewhere else.", |
| 1882 | + "The state that's basically three counties pretending to matter.", |
| 1883 | + "Delaware: Where everyone works for a bank that's technically headquartered in their garage.", |
| 1884 | + "From Delaware? Your state motto should be 'Delaware: You've probably driven through us'.", |
| 1885 | + "Delaware: The geographic equivalent of terms and conditions - technically important but nobody cares." |
| 1886 | + ], |
| 1887 | + wilmington: [ |
| 1888 | + "Wilmington? The city that's just Philadelphia's chemical spill.", |
| 1889 | + "From Wilmington? How's being the murder capital of Delaware's three cities?", |
| 1890 | + "Wilmington: Where every corporation is headquartered but no one actually works.", |
| 1891 | + "Oh, Wilmington? The city that makes Trenton look vibrant.", |
| 1892 | + "Wilmington: Where the credit card companies have more life than the downtown.", |
| 1893 | + "From Wilmington? Let me guess, you commute to Philly or wish you could.", |
| 1894 | + "Wilmington: The only city where 'revitalization' has been happening since 1982.", |
| 1895 | + "Where the train station is the nicest building because everyone's trying to leave.", |
| 1896 | + "Wilmington: Baltimore's even smaller, even more forgotten cousin.", |
| 1897 | + "From Wilmington? Your city's biggest achievement is being mentioned when people list Biden's career." |
| 1898 | + ] |
| 1899 | + }, |
| 1900 | + |
| 1901 | + // WEST VIRGINIA |
| 1902 | + westvirginia: { |
| 1903 | + generic: [ |
| 1904 | + "West Virginia? Where the mountains are high and the education standards are subterranean.", |
| 1905 | + "From West Virginia? How's that coal industry working out in 2025?", |
| 1906 | + "West Virginia: Where everyone's related twice and the gene pool needs chlorine.", |
| 1907 | + "Oh, West Virginia? The state that makes Kentucky look cosmopolitan.", |
| 1908 | + "West Virginia: Where 'Mountain Mama' is both a song lyric and a dating option.", |
| 1909 | + "From West Virginia? Let me guess, you're either on opioids or selling them.", |
| 1910 | + "West Virginia: The only state where the stereotypes are actually understated.", |
| 1911 | + "Where 'culture' means which NASCAR driver you root for.", |
| 1912 | + "West Virginia: Proof that seceding from Virginia was a mistake.", |
| 1913 | + "From West Virginia? Your state's biggest export is talented people fleeing to anywhere else.", |
| 1914 | + "West Virginia: Where the coal jobs left but the black lung stayed.", |
| 1915 | + "The state where hope goes to die in a mine shaft.", |
| 1916 | + "West Virginia: America's sacrificial lamb to the coal industry.", |
| 1917 | + "From West Virginia? You definitely have a cousin who's also your neighbor.", |
| 1918 | + "West Virginia: Because someone had to be last in everything." |
| 1919 | + ], |
| 1920 | + charleston: [ |
| 1921 | + "Charleston? Not the good one in South Carolina, the forgotten one in West Virginia.", |
| 1922 | + "From Charleston, WV? How's being the capital of America's saddest state?", |
| 1923 | + "Charleston: Where the gold dome on the capitol is the only thing that isn't tarnished.", |
| 1924 | + "Oh, Charleston? The city that proves being a capital doesn't mean being relevant.", |
| 1925 | + "Charleston: Where everyone either works for the state or wishes the state worked.", |
| 1926 | + "From Charleston? Let me guess, you tell people you're from 'the other Charleston'.", |
| 1927 | + "Charleston: The only capital city that makes Harrisburg look exciting.", |
| 1928 | + "Where 'nightlife' means the Walmart is open until 11.", |
| 1929 | + "Charleston: Huntington's slightly more important, equally depressing sibling.", |
| 1930 | + "From Charleston? Your city's biggest achievement is not being Huntington." |
| 1931 | + ] |
| 1932 | + }, |
| 1933 | + |
| 1934 | + // VIRGINIA |
| 1935 | + virginia: { |
| 1936 | + generic: [ |
| 1937 | + "Virginia? Where everyone's either old money pretending to have class or new money pretending to have taste.", |
| 1938 | + "From Virginia? How's that 'Mother of Presidents' thing working out with your current politics?", |
| 1939 | + "Virginia: Where Northern Virginia pretends it's not the South and everywhere else pretends NoVA isn't Virginia.", |
| 1940 | + "Oh, Virginia? The state that's for lovers but filled with divorced government contractors.", |
| 1941 | + "Virginia: Where history happened and then stopped happening around 1865.", |
| 1942 | + "From Virginia? Let me guess, you have strong opinions about what 'real Virginia' is.", |
| 1943 | + "Virginia: The only state where Civil War reenactments outnumber actual achievements.", |
| 1944 | + "Where everyone's either military, government, or explaining why they're neither.", |
| 1945 | + "Virginia: Proof that being first in colonization doesn't mean first in anything else.", |
| 1946 | + "From Virginia? Your state's biggest export is traffic on I-95.", |
| 1947 | + "Virginia: Where the mountains are beautiful and the attitudes are ugly.", |
| 1948 | + "The state that can't decide if it's Southern, Mid-Atlantic, or just confused.", |
| 1949 | + "Virginia: Where everyone in NoVA works in DC and everyone else resents NoVA.", |
| 1950 | + "From Virginia? You definitely have a Confederate ancestor you don't talk about.", |
| 1951 | + "Virginia: Maryland's more pretentious, less interesting neighbor." |
| 1952 | + ], |
| 1953 | + richmond: [ |
| 1954 | + "Richmond? The city that was the Confederate capital and never got over it.", |
| 1955 | + "From Richmond? How's that 'New South' rebranding working with all those monuments?", |
| 1956 | + "Richmond: Where VCU students pretend it's Portland and everyone else pretends it's 1860.", |
| 1957 | + "Oh, Richmond? The city where gentrification and Confederate flags have an uncomfortable dance.", |
| 1958 | + "Richmond: Where everyone's either a hipster or a historian, sometimes both.", |
| 1959 | + "From Richmond? Let me guess, you live in a 'transitioning neighborhood' that's been transitioning for decades.", |
| 1960 | + "Richmond: The only city where craft breweries outnumber job opportunities.", |
| 1961 | + "Where 'culture' means arguing about which statue to take down next.", |
| 1962 | + "Richmond: DC's racist uncle who got into craft beer.", |
| 1963 | + "From Richmond? Your city's biggest achievement is making Norfolk look progressive." |
| 1964 | + ], |
| 1965 | + norfolk: [ |
| 1966 | + "Norfolk? The city that's just a naval base with delusions of being more.", |
| 1967 | + "From Norfolk? How's living in Virginia's sweaty armpit?", |
| 1968 | + "Norfolk: Where everyone's either in the Navy or servicing someone in the Navy.", |
| 1969 | + "Oh, Norfolk? The city where sailors go to make bad decisions.", |
| 1970 | + "Norfolk: Where the shipyard is more interesting than the entire downtown.", |
| 1971 | + "From Norfolk? Let me guess, you tell people you're from 'Virginia Beach area'.", |
| 1972 | + "Norfolk: The only city where 'culture' means ships and strip clubs.", |
| 1973 | + "Where every bar is a military dive and every apartment is overpriced.", |
| 1974 | + "Norfolk: Virginia Beach's ugly, practical sibling.", |
| 1975 | + "From Norfolk? Your city's biggest achievement is not being Portsmouth." |
| 1976 | + ] |
| 1977 | + }, |
| 1978 | + |
| 1979 | + // ARKANSAS |
| 1980 | + arkansas: { |
| 1981 | + generic: [ |
| 1982 | + "Arkansas? Where literacy is optional but cousin marriage is traditional.", |
| 1983 | + "From Arkansas? How's living in America's storage unit for poverty and meth?", |
| 1984 | + "Arkansas: Where Walmart is both the biggest employer and the fanciest store.", |
| 1985 | + "Oh, Arkansas? The state that makes Mississippi say 'at least we're not Arkansas'.", |
| 1986 | + "Arkansas: Where 'culture' means which megachurch you attend.", |
| 1987 | + "From Arkansas? Let me guess, you pronounce it 'Arkansaw' and get mad when others don't.", |
| 1988 | + "Arkansas: The only state where a high school diploma is considered showing off.", |
| 1989 | + "Where everyone's either selling meth or selling to people on meth.", |
| 1990 | + "Arkansas: Proof that natural beauty can't overcome human ugliness.", |
| 1991 | + "From Arkansas? Your state's biggest export is people with sense fleeing to Texas.", |
| 1992 | + "Arkansas: Where the Clintons are from and even they couldn't leave fast enough.", |
| 1993 | + "The state where 'progressive' means having all your teeth.", |
| 1994 | + "Arkansas: America's reminder that we can always sink lower.", |
| 1995 | + "From Arkansas? You definitely have a relative who married their relative.", |
| 1996 | + "Arkansas: Because someone had to make Alabama look educated." |
| 1997 | + ], |
| 1998 | + little_rock: [ |
| 1999 | + "Little Rock? Big name, little impact, rock-bottom expectations.", |
| 2000 | + "From Little Rock? How's being the capital of America's forgotten state?", |
| 2001 | + "Little Rock: Where the civil rights history is more progressive than the present.", |
| 2002 | + "Oh, Little Rock? The city that peaked during integration and it's been downhill since.", |
| 2003 | + "Little Rock: Where everyone's either a state employee or unemployed.", |
| 2004 | + "From Little Rock? Let me guess, you tell people you're from 'near Memphis'.", |
| 2005 | + "Little Rock: The only capital that makes Jackson, Mississippi look thriving.", |
| 2006 | + "Where 'downtown revitalization' means one new chain restaurant every five years.", |
| 2007 | + "Little Rock: Proof that being a capital doesn't mean being capital-worthy.", |
| 2008 | + "From Little Rock? Your city's biggest achievement was being in history textbooks once." |
| 2009 | + ] |
| 2010 | + }, |
| 2011 | + |
| 2012 | + // MISSISSIPPI |
| 2013 | + mississippi: { |
| 2014 | + generic: [ |
| 2015 | + "Mississippi? Proudly holding last place in everything since forever.", |
| 2016 | + "From Mississippi? How's it feel living in America's third-world state?", |
| 2017 | + "Mississippi: Where the past isn't past, it's the only thing they have.", |
| 2018 | + "Oh, Mississippi? The state that makes other Southern states feel better about themselves.", |
| 2019 | + "Mississippi: Where 'heritage' means celebrating losing a war 160 years ago.", |
| 2020 | + "From Mississippi? Let me guess, you're either racist or poor, probably both.", |
| 2021 | + "Mississippi: The only state where the mosquitoes have more culture than the people.", |
| 2022 | + "Where education is seen as suspicious and books are considered dangerous.", |
| 2023 | + "Mississippi: Proof that time can stand still while the world moves on.", |
| 2024 | + "From Mississippi? Your state's biggest export is depression and diabetes.", |
| 2025 | + "Mississippi: Where the blues were born because living there is depressing.", |
| 2026 | + "The state that's basically a cautionary tale about what happens without progress.", |
| 2027 | + "Mississippi: America's reminder that reconstruction failed.", |
| 2028 | + "From Mississippi? You definitely can't spell your state without autocorrect.", |
| 2029 | + "Mississippi: Because someone had to be worst at everything." |
| 2030 | + ], |
| 2031 | + jackson: [ |
| 2032 | + "Jackson? The city where the water's brown and the future's darker.", |
| 2033 | + "From Jackson? How's that water crisis from... *checks notes* ...forever ago?", |
| 2034 | + "Jackson: Where being the capital means you get to fail on a bigger stage.", |
| 2035 | + "Oh, Jackson? The city that makes Flint's water look refreshing.", |
| 2036 | + "Jackson: Where everyone who could leave already did.", |
| 2037 | + "From Jackson? Let me guess, you boil water like it's 1850.", |
| 2038 | + "Jackson: The only capital where 'infrastructure' is a foreign word.", |
| 2039 | + "Where potholes are so big they have their own zip codes.", |
| 2040 | + "Jackson: Proof that being a capital city means nothing in Mississippi.", |
| 2041 | + "From Jackson? Your city's biggest achievement is making other Mississippi cities look functional." |
| 2042 | + ] |
| 2043 | + }, |
| 2044 | + |
| 2045 | + // MISSOURI |
| 2046 | + missouri: { |
| 2047 | + generic: [ |
| 2048 | + "Missouri? The 'Show Me State' but there's nothing worth showing.", |
| 2049 | + "From Missouri? How's that methamphetamine corridor treating you?", |
| 2050 | + "Missouri: Where everyone's miserable and the 'e' is silent.", |
| 2051 | + "Oh, Missouri? The state that can't decide if it's Midwest or South so it fails at both.", |
| 2052 | + "Missouri: Where the best thing is being able to leave for somewhere else.", |
| 2053 | + "From Missouri? Let me guess, you're either from St. Louis, Kansas City, or meth country.", |
| 2054 | + "Missouri: The only state where 'culture' means which type of BBQ sauce you prefer.", |
| 2055 | + "Where everyone's conservative except in the cities where they're just depressed.", |
| 2056 | + "Missouri: Proof that being in the middle of America doesn't make you important.", |
| 2057 | + "From Missouri? Your state's biggest achievement is being slightly better than Arkansas.", |
| 2058 | + "Missouri: Where the Arch is the only thing looking up.", |
| 2059 | + "The state where compromise means everyone's equally unhappy.", |
| 2060 | + "Missouri: America's DMZ between civilization and whatever Kansas is.", |
| 2061 | + "From Missouri? You definitely tell people you're from 'the Kansas City side' or 'the St. Louis side'.", |
| 2062 | + "Missouri: Because Iowa needed someone to look down on." |
| 2063 | + ], |
| 2064 | + st_louis: [ |
| 2065 | + "St. Louis? The city where the Arch is the only thing that hasn't been shot at.", |
| 2066 | + "From St. Louis? How's that 'murder capital' title treating your property values?", |
| 2067 | + "St. Louis: Where everyone asks 'what high school did you go to?' because adult achievements are rare.", |
| 2068 | + "Oh, St. Louis? The city that's just Chicago's methed-out little brother.", |
| 2069 | + "St. Louis: Where the baseball team is good but everything else is terrible.", |
| 2070 | + "From St. Louis? Let me guess, you live in the county and avoid the city.", |
| 2071 | + "St. Louis: The only city where toasted ravioli can't mask the taste of failure.", |
| 2072 | + "Where 'revitalization' means gentrifying one block while the rest crumbles.", |
| 2073 | + "St. Louis: Detroit's competition for America's most depressing downtown.", |
| 2074 | + "From St. Louis? Your city's biggest export is people fleeing to Chicago.", |
| 2075 | + "St. Louis: Where the Blues play because everyone's depressed.", |
| 2076 | + "The city that peaked when it hosted the World's Fair in 1904.", |
| 2077 | + "St. Louis: Proof that having an iconic monument doesn't make you iconic.", |
| 2078 | + "From St. Louis? You definitely have a concealed carry permit and use it.", |
| 2079 | + "St. Louis: Where 'city pride' means pretending the county isn't safer." |
| 2080 | + ], |
| 2081 | + kansas_city: [ |
| 2082 | + "Kansas City? The city so boring it needs two states to claim it.", |
| 2083 | + "From KC? How's it feel being the best city in two of America's worst states?", |
| 2084 | + "Kansas City: Where the BBQ is good but the city planning is a war crime.", |
| 2085 | + "Oh, Kansas City? The city that's just Dallas's unsuccessful, less attractive cousin.", |
| 2086 | + "Kansas City: Where everyone's either making meth or jazz, sometimes both.", |
| 2087 | + "From Kansas City? Let me guess, you spend half your time explaining which state you're in.", |
| 2088 | + "Kansas City: The only city where 'culture' means comparing burnt ends.", |
| 2089 | + "Where the fountains work better than the city government.", |
| 2090 | + "Kansas City: Proof that you can't build a personality on BBQ alone.", |
| 2091 | + "From KC? Your city's biggest achievement is being mentioned in that one song.", |
| 2092 | + "Kansas City: Where Google Fiber gave up because even they couldn't save it.", |
| 2093 | + "The city that thinks having jazz history makes up for having no future.", |
| 2094 | + "Kansas City: St. Louis's equally depressing twin on the other side of the state.", |
| 2095 | + "From Kansas City? You definitely argue about BBQ like it's a religion.", |
| 2096 | + "Kansas City: Because someone had to make Omaha look exciting." |
| 2097 | + ] |
| 2098 | + }, |
| 2099 | + |
| 2100 | + // KANSAS |
| 2101 | + kansas: { |
| 2102 | + generic: [ |
| 2103 | + "Kansas? Where the world is flat and so is the conversation.", |
| 2104 | + "From Kansas? How's living in America's most skippable state?", |
| 2105 | + "Kansas: Where Dorothy had the right idea clicking her heels to leave.", |
| 2106 | + "Oh, Kansas? The state where evolution is still up for debate.", |
| 2107 | + "Kansas: Where the wheat fields have more personality than the people.", |
| 2108 | + "From Kansas? Let me guess, you're passionate about... actually, what are you passionate about?", |
| 2109 | + "Kansas: The only state where tornadoes are the most interesting residents.", |
| 2110 | + "Where 'culture' means which church you attend and which football team you follow.", |
| 2111 | + "Kansas: Proof that you can be the geographic center of America and still be irrelevant.", |
| 2112 | + "From Kansas? Your state's biggest export is boredom and young people escaping.", |
| 2113 | + "Kansas: Where the sunflowers are tall and the expectations are underground.", |
| 2114 | + "The state that makes Nebraska look like a thrill ride.", |
| 2115 | + "Kansas: America's waiting room between places that matter.", |
| 2116 | + "From Kansas? You definitely have more guns than books.", |
| 2117 | + "Kansas: Because God needed somewhere to put all the nothing." |
| 2118 | + ], |
| 2119 | + wichita: [ |
| 2120 | + "Wichita? The biggest city in Kansas, which is like being the tallest building in a cornfield.", |
| 2121 | + "From Wichita? How's it feel being the capital of nowhere?", |
| 2122 | + "Wichita: Where the aircraft industry left and took all hope with it.", |
| 2123 | + "Oh, Wichita? The city that makes Topeka look cosmopolitan.", |
| 2124 | + "Wichita: Where everyone's either unemployed or building planes for people who can leave.", |
| 2125 | + "From Wichita? Let me guess, you tell people you're from 'near Oklahoma City'.", |
| 2126 | + "Wichita: The only city where a new Applebee's makes the front page.", |
| 2127 | + "Where 'nightlife' means the Walmart stays open past 10.", |
| 2128 | + "Wichita: Proof that size doesn't equal significance.", |
| 2129 | + "From Wichita? Your city's biggest achievement is being mentioned in that White Stripes song." |
| 2130 | + ] |
| 2131 | + }, |
| 2132 | + |
| 2133 | + // OKLAHOMA |
| 2134 | + oklahoma: { |
| 2135 | + generic: [ |
| 2136 | + "Oklahoma? Where the wind comes sweeping down the plain because there's nothing to stop it.", |
| 2137 | + "From Oklahoma? How's living in Texas's dusty attic?", |
| 2138 | + "Oklahoma: Where fracking and football are the only industries.", |
| 2139 | + "Oh, Oklahoma? The state shaped like a pan because it's always cooking in hell's kitchen.", |
| 2140 | + "Oklahoma: Where everyone's Native American when it's convenient.", |
| 2141 | + "From Oklahoma? Let me guess, you're either in oil or wishing you were.", |
| 2142 | + "Oklahoma: The only state where tornadoes are considered urban renewal.", |
| 2143 | + "Where 'culture' means deciding between Texas and Kansas influences, and choosing neither well.", |
| 2144 | + "Oklahoma: Proof that stealing Native land doesn't mean you know what to do with it.", |
| 2145 | + "From Oklahoma? Your state's biggest export is weather warnings and broken dreams.", |
| 2146 | + "Oklahoma: Where the education system makes Kansas look progressive.", |
| 2147 | + "The state that exists to make Texas feel better about itself.", |
| 2148 | + "Oklahoma: America's trailer park with oil wells.", |
| 2149 | + "From Oklahoma? You definitely have a storm shelter and diabetes.", |
| 2150 | + "Oklahoma: Because someone had to be worse than Arkansas." |
| 2151 | + ], |
| 2152 | + oklahoma_city: [ |
| 2153 | + "Oklahoma City? The city that's just Dallas with depression and worse weather.", |
| 2154 | + "From OKC? How's that sprawl working out with no actual city in the middle?", |
| 2155 | + "Oklahoma City: Where the thunder is the NBA team and the economy.", |
| 2156 | + "Oh, OKC? The city that stole Seattle's team because they had nothing else.", |
| 2157 | + "Oklahoma City: Where everyone drives trucks they can't afford to impress people who don't care.", |
| 2158 | + "From OKC? Let me guess, you work in energy or selling things to people in energy.", |
| 2159 | + "Oklahoma City: The only city where a bombing memorial is the main tourist attraction.", |
| 2160 | + "Where 'culture' means chain restaurants and churches the size of airports.", |
| 2161 | + "Oklahoma City: Proof that oil money can't buy taste or planning.", |
| 2162 | + "From OKC? Your city's biggest achievement is being slightly less boring than Tulsa." |
| 2163 | + ], |
| 2164 | + tulsa: [ |
| 2165 | + "Tulsa? The city that burned down Black Wall Street and never recovered morally.", |
| 2166 | + "From Tulsa? How's living in Oklahoma's second best, which is like being the second wettest desert?", |
| 2167 | + "Tulsa: Where Art Deco architecture can't hide the racist history.", |
| 2168 | + "Oh, Tulsa? The city that's just OKC's even more forgettable sibling.", |
| 2169 | + "Tulsa: Where everyone pretends the oil industry is coming back.", |
| 2170 | + "From Tulsa? Let me guess, you tell people about that one time Tesla considered you.", |
| 2171 | + "Tulsa: The only city where 'revitalization' means painting murals on abandoned buildings.", |
| 2172 | + "Where the race massacre museum is more lively than downtown.", |
| 2173 | + "Tulsa: Proof that you can't build a future while hiding from your past.", |
| 2174 | + "From Tulsa? Your city's claim to fame is a massacre and mediocrity." |
| 2175 | + ] |
| 2176 | + }, |
| 2177 | + |
| 2178 | + // NEBRASKA |
| 2179 | + nebraska: { |
| 2180 | + generic: [ |
| 2181 | + "Nebraska? Where corn has more culture than the people.", |
| 2182 | + "From Nebraska? How's living in America's drive-through state between places that matter?", |
| 2183 | + "Nebraska: Where the 'Good Life' slogan is more aspiration than reality.", |
| 2184 | + "Oh, Nebraska? The state that makes Kansas look exciting.", |
| 2185 | + "Nebraska: Where everyone's nice because there's nothing else to do but be polite.", |
| 2186 | + "From Nebraska? Let me guess, you're passionate about Huskers football and literally nothing else.", |
| 2187 | + "Nebraska: The only state where the population density includes cattle.", |
| 2188 | + "Where 'diversity' means different types of corn.", |
| 2189 | + "Nebraska: Proof that not every rectangle on the map needs to be a state.", |
| 2190 | + "From Nebraska? Your state's biggest export is college football players who leave immediately.", |
| 2191 | + "Nebraska: Where Warren Buffett lives to avoid interesting people.", |
| 2192 | + "The state that exists so I-80 has somewhere to go through.", |
| 2193 | + "Nebraska: America's sensory deprivation chamber.", |
| 2194 | + "From Nebraska? You definitely think Runza is cuisine.", |
| 2195 | + "Nebraska: Because Iowa needed to feel superior to someone." |
| 2196 | + ], |
| 2197 | + omaha: [ |
| 2198 | + "Omaha? The city that Warren Buffett made famous by never leaving it.", |
| 2199 | + "From Omaha? How's it feel being the biggest small town in America?", |
| 2200 | + "Omaha: Where the steaks are good but the city is well-done to death.", |
| 2201 | + "Oh, Omaha? The city that's just Des Moines with slightly more cows.", |
| 2202 | + "Omaha: Where everyone works in insurance or wishes they lived somewhere with options.", |
| 2203 | + "From Omaha? Let me guess, you tell people you're from 'near Kansas City'.", |
| 2204 | + "Omaha: The only city where the zoo is genuinely the most exciting thing.", |
| 2205 | + "Where 'nightlife' means Applebee's stays open until 11.", |
| 2206 | + "Omaha: Proof that being the biggest city in Nebraska means nothing.", |
| 2207 | + "From Omaha? Your city's biggest achievement is hosting the College World Series nobody watches." |
| 2208 | + ] |
| 2209 | + }, |
| 2210 | + |
| 2211 | + // NORTH DAKOTA |
| 2212 | + northdakota: { |
| 2213 | + generic: [ |
| 2214 | + "North Dakota? Where the oil boom went bust and took the last reason to be there.", |
| 2215 | + "From North Dakota? How's living in America's Siberia?", |
| 2216 | + "North Dakota: Where the population is so low, everyone's their own cousin.", |
| 2217 | + "Oh, North Dakota? The state that makes South Dakota look tropical.", |
| 2218 | + "North Dakota: Where -40° is both the temperature and the number of reasons to stay.", |
| 2219 | + "From North Dakota? Let me guess, you work in oil or agriculture, the only two options.", |
| 2220 | + "North Dakota: The only state where nuclear missiles outnumber people worth targeting.", |
| 2221 | + "Where 'culture' is driving 3 hours to the nearest Olive Garden.", |
| 2222 | + "North Dakota: Proof that just because land exists doesn't mean people should live there.", |
| 2223 | + "From North Dakota? Your state's biggest export is people moving to Minnesota.", |
| 2224 | + "North Dakota: Where the wind chill could kill you 8 months a year.", |
| 2225 | + "The state that exists because maps looked weird with just one Dakota.", |
| 2226 | + "North Dakota: America's storage unit for nuclear weapons and sadness.", |
| 2227 | + "From North Dakota? You definitely have more guns than neighbors.", |
| 2228 | + "North Dakota: Because someone had to make Alaska feel populated." |
| 2229 | + ], |
| 2230 | + fargo: [ |
| 2231 | + "Fargo? The city famous for a movie that wasn't even filmed there.", |
| 2232 | + "From Fargo? How's it feel being the capital of frozen nothingness?", |
| 2233 | + "Fargo: Where the wood chipper scene is the most exciting thing associated with your city.", |
| 2234 | + "Oh, Fargo? The city that's just Minneapolis's frozen, forgotten storage unit.", |
| 2235 | + "Fargo: Where everyone talks like the movie but wishes they had that much excitement.", |
| 2236 | + "From Fargo? Let me guess, you're quirky in that 'there's nothing else to do here' way.", |
| 2237 | + "Fargo: The only city where negative temperatures last longer than relationships.", |
| 2238 | + "Where 'nightlife' means drinking until you forget you live in Fargo.", |
| 2239 | + "Fargo: Proof that colleges will put campuses literally anywhere.", |
| 2240 | + "From Fargo? Your city's claim to fame is a Coen Brothers movie that mocked you." |
| 2241 | + ] |
| 2242 | + }, |
| 2243 | + |
| 2244 | + // SOUTH DAKOTA |
| 2245 | + southdakota: { |
| 2246 | + generic: [ |
| 2247 | + "South Dakota? Where Mount Rushmore is the only reason people know you exist.", |
| 2248 | + "From South Dakota? How's living in North Dakota's slightly less depressing twin?", |
| 2249 | + "South Dakota: Where the faces in the mountain have more personality than the residents.", |
| 2250 | + "Oh, South Dakota? The state that tricked people into visiting with some carved rocks.", |
| 2251 | + "South Dakota: Where Sturgis is the most culture you'll see all year.", |
| 2252 | + "From South Dakota? Let me guess, you work in tourism three months a year and survive the other nine.", |
| 2253 | + "South Dakota: The only state where bikers are considered cultural ambassadors.", |
| 2254 | + "Where 'diversity' means people from different parts of nowhere.", |
| 2255 | + "South Dakota: Proof that monuments can't make a state interesting.", |
| 2256 | + "From South Dakota? Your state's biggest export is disappointment after seeing Mount Rushmore.", |
| 2257 | + "South Dakota: Where the Badlands perfectly describe the whole state.", |
| 2258 | + "The state that exists so motorcyclists have somewhere to congregate annually.", |
| 2259 | + "South Dakota: America's drive-through museum.", |
| 2260 | + "From South Dakota? You definitely have strong opinions about North Dakota like anyone cares.", |
| 2261 | + "South Dakota: Because North Dakota needed to feel better about something." |
| 2262 | + ], |
| 2263 | + sioux_falls: [ |
| 2264 | + "Sioux Falls? The city named after falling water in a state that's falling apart.", |
| 2265 | + "From Sioux Falls? How's being the biggest city in America's emptiest state?", |
| 2266 | + "Sioux Falls: Where the waterfalls are small and the ambitions are smaller.", |
| 2267 | + "Oh, Sioux Falls? The city that's just a truck stop with delusions of grandeur.", |
| 2268 | + "Sioux Falls: Where everyone's either in credit cards or agriculture, equally soul-crushing.", |
| 2269 | + "From Sioux Falls? Let me guess, you're excited about that new chain restaurant opening.", |
| 2270 | + "Sioux Falls: The only city where 'rush hour' is three cars at the same intersection.", |
| 2271 | + "Where 'culture' means having both a mall AND a Walmart.", |
| 2272 | + "Sioux Falls: Proof that waterfalls can't make a city interesting.", |
| 2273 | + "From Sioux Falls? Your city's biggest achievement is being mentioned in credit card fine print." |
| 2274 | + ] |
| 2275 | + }, |
| 2276 | + |
| 2277 | + // WYOMING |
| 2278 | + wyoming: { |
| 2279 | + generic: [ |
| 2280 | + "Wyoming? Where there are more cows than people and the cows have better social lives.", |
| 2281 | + "From Wyoming? How's living in a state that's just a square on the map?", |
| 2282 | + "Wyoming: Where the population is so low, everyone's on a first-name basis.", |
| 2283 | + "Oh, Wyoming? The state that's just Colorado's empty parking lot.", |
| 2284 | + "Wyoming: Where Yellowstone is beautiful and everything else is yesterday's news.", |
| 2285 | + "From Wyoming? Let me guess, you're either a rancher or pretending to be one.", |
| 2286 | + "Wyoming: The only state where traffic jams are caused by cattle drives.", |
| 2287 | + "Where 'culture' means choosing between rodeo and... more rodeo.", |
| 2288 | + "Wyoming: Proof that not every rectangle needs to be a state.", |
| 2289 | + "From Wyoming? Your state's biggest export is wind and people looking for anywhere else.", |
| 2290 | + "Wyoming: Where the wildlife outnumbers humans and prefers it that way.", |
| 2291 | + "The state that Dick Cheney is from, which explains everything.", |
| 2292 | + "Wyoming: America's screensaver.", |
| 2293 | + "From Wyoming? You definitely have more guns than neighbors, which isn't hard.", |
| 2294 | + "Wyoming: Because someone had to make Montana look densely populated." |
| 2295 | + ], |
| 2296 | + cheyenne: [ |
| 2297 | + "Cheyenne? The capital city that's smaller than most towns.", |
| 2298 | + "From Cheyenne? How's it feel being the biggest city in America's emptiest state?", |
| 2299 | + "Cheyenne: Where Frontier Days is the only day anything happens.", |
| 2300 | + "Oh, Cheyenne? The city that's just Denver's forgotten hat rack.", |
| 2301 | + "Cheyenne: Where everyone's either government or wondering why there's a government here.", |
| 2302 | + "From Cheyenne? Let me guess, you're excited about that new stoplight they installed.", |
| 2303 | + "Cheyenne: The only capital city where tumbleweeds have voting rights.", |
| 2304 | + "Where 'urban planning' is an oxymoron.", |
| 2305 | + "Cheyenne: Proof that being a capital doesn't require actual people.", |
| 2306 | + "From Cheyenne? Your city's biggest achievement is being between two places people actually go." |
| 2307 | + ] |
| 2308 | + }, |
| 2309 | + |
| 2310 | + // ALASKA |
| 2311 | + alaska: { |
| 2312 | + generic: [ |
| 2313 | + "Alaska? Where the checks from oil are the only warm thing.", |
| 2314 | + "From Alaska? How's that seasonal depression lasting 10 months a year?", |
| 2315 | + "Alaska: Where everyone's running from something in the lower 48.", |
| 2316 | + "Oh, Alaska? The state that's basically Russia's yard sale America forgot to return.", |
| 2317 | + "Alaska: Where alcoholism isn't a problem, it's a survival strategy.", |
| 2318 | + "From Alaska? Let me guess, you're either in oil, fishing, or hiding from the law.", |
| 2319 | + "Alaska: The only state where mosquitoes should be classified as aircraft.", |
| 2320 | + "Where 'neighbor' means someone 50 miles away you've never met.", |
| 2321 | + "Alaska: Proof that bigger isn't better, just colder and more isolated.", |
| 2322 | + "From Alaska? Your state's biggest export is reality TV shows about people who hate civilization.", |
| 2323 | + "Alaska: Where the darkness lasts so long, vampires think it's too much.", |
| 2324 | + "The state where everyone has a pilot's license because roads are optional.", |
| 2325 | + "Alaska: America's drunk uncle who lives in a cabin.", |
| 2326 | + "From Alaska? You definitely have a story about a bear that nobody believes.", |
| 2327 | + "Alaska: Because someone looked at Siberia and thought 'we should buy that'." |
| 2328 | + ], |
| 2329 | + anchorage: [ |
| 2330 | + "Anchorage? The city where half of Alaska's population huddles for warmth.", |
| 2331 | + "From Anchorage? How's being the only thing resembling civilization in a frozen wasteland?", |
| 2332 | + "Anchorage: Where the moose have right of way because they're the majority.", |
| 2333 | + "Oh, Anchorage? The city that's just Seattle if Seattle gave up on life.", |
| 2334 | + "Anchorage: Where everyone's either military, oil workers, or making meth in the darkness.", |
| 2335 | + "From Anchorage? Let me guess, you tell people from the lower 48 that it's 'not that cold'.", |
| 2336 | + "Anchorage: The only city where 'traffic' means waiting for a moose to move.", |
| 2337 | + "Where 'nightlife' happens at 2 PM in December.", |
| 2338 | + "Anchorage: Proof that humans will live literally anywhere.", |
| 2339 | + "From Anchorage? Your city's biggest achievement is having running water year-round." |
| 2340 | + ] |
| 2341 | + }, |
| 2342 | + |
| 2343 | + // HAWAII |
| 2344 | + hawaii: { |
| 2345 | + generic: [ |
| 2346 | + "Hawaii? Where paradise is ruined by the people who can afford to live there.", |
| 2347 | + "From Hawaii? How's that colonization working out for the locals?", |
| 2348 | + "Hawaii: Where haoles pay $20 for a pineapple that costs $2 everywhere else.", |
| 2349 | + "Oh, Hawaii? The state that's basically America's expensive zoo exhibit.", |
| 2350 | + "Hawaii: Where locals can't afford to live but tourists can't afford to leave.", |
| 2351 | + "From Hawaii? Let me guess, you're either military, trust fund, or barely surviving.", |
| 2352 | + "Hawaii: The only state where spam is cuisine and rent is criminal.", |
| 2353 | + "Where 'aloha spirit' means smiling while you serve mai tais to people who destroyed your culture.", |
| 2354 | + "Hawaii: Proof that paradise can be gentrified.", |
| 2355 | + "From Hawaii? Your state's biggest export is homeless locals moving to the mainland.", |
| 2356 | + "Hawaii: Where the beaches are beautiful and the inequality is ugly.", |
| 2357 | + "The state that's slowly sinking, economically and literally.", |
| 2358 | + "Hawaii: America's colonial guilt in island form.", |
| 2359 | + "From Hawaii? You definitely work three jobs or have rich parents.", |
| 2360 | + "Hawaii: Because manifest destiny needed a vacation home." |
| 2361 | + ], |
| 2362 | + honolulu: [ |
| 2363 | + "Honolulu? Where paradise meets parking nightmare.", |
| 2364 | + "From Honolulu? How's living in America's most expensive traffic jam?", |
| 2365 | + "Honolulu: Where the beaches are free but everything else costs your firstborn.", |
| 2366 | + "Oh, Honolulu? The city that's just LA with more humidity and higher prices.", |
| 2367 | + "Honolulu: Where everyone's either military, tourist industry, or Japanese.", |
| 2368 | + "From Honolulu? Let me guess, you spend half your income on gas and rice.", |
| 2369 | + "Honolulu: The only city where homeless camps have ocean views.", |
| 2370 | + "Where 'rush hour' lasts all day because there's only one highway.", |
| 2371 | + "Honolulu: Proof that island living isn't always paradise.", |
| 2372 | + "From Honolulu? Your city's biggest achievement is convincing tourists it's still Hawaiian." |
| 66 | 2373 | ] |
| 67 | 2374 | }, |
| 68 | 2375 | |
| 69 | | - // VERMONT |
| 70 | | - vermont: { |
| 2376 | + // PUERTO RICO |
| 2377 | + puertorico: { |
| 71 | 2378 | generic: [ |
| 72 | | - "Vermont? Where everyone's a socialist with a trust fund.", |
| 73 | | - "From Vermont? How's that maple syrup economy working out?", |
| 74 | | - "Vermont: Where the cows outnumber the people and have better healthcare.", |
| 75 | | - "Oh, Vermont? The state that's just New Hampshire with more guilt about being white.", |
| 76 | | - "Vermont: Where Bernie Sanders is your most normal resident.", |
| 77 | | - "From Vermont? Let me guess, you make your own kombucha and judge people who don't.", |
| 78 | | - "Vermont: The only state where being carbon neutral is a personality trait.", |
| 79 | | - "Where everyone drives a Subaru to their organic farm job.", |
| 80 | | - "Vermont: Proof that you can be liberal and boring at the same time.", |
| 81 | | - "From Vermont? Your state's biggest export is sanctimonious college students." |
| 2379 | + "Puerto Rico? America's colony that we pretend isn't a colony.", |
| 2380 | + "From Puerto Rico? How's that taxation without representation working out?", |
| 2381 | + "Puerto Rico: Where the debt is higher than the palm trees.", |
| 2382 | + "Oh, Puerto Rico? The territory that's basically America's forgotten responsibility.", |
| 2383 | + "Puerto Rico: Where hurricanes get more federal attention than the people.", |
| 2384 | + "From Puerto Rico? Let me guess, you're tired of explaining that you're American citizens.", |
| 2385 | + "Puerto Rico: The only place where power outages last longer than political promises.", |
| 2386 | + "Where 'statehood' is a debate that's older than most residents.", |
| 2387 | + "Puerto Rico: Proof that America loves islands but not island people.", |
| 2388 | + "From Puerto Rico? Your island's biggest export is talented people fleeing to Florida.", |
| 2389 | + "Puerto Rico: Where the beaches are beautiful and the infrastructure is optional.", |
| 2390 | + "The territory that's too American for independence, too Latino for statehood.", |
| 2391 | + "Puerto Rico: America's tropical storage unit for pharmaceutical companies.", |
| 2392 | + "From Puerto Rico? You definitely have relatives in New York who send money back.", |
| 2393 | + "Puerto Rico: Because colonialism needed a modern rebrand." |
| 82 | 2394 | ], |
| 83 | | - burlington: [ |
| 84 | | - "Burlington? The city where every college kid thinks they discovered socialism.", |
| 85 | | - "From Burlington? How's that progressive paradise with no diversity working out?", |
| 86 | | - "Burlington: Where everyone's woke but the city still sleeps at 9 PM.", |
| 87 | | - "Oh, Burlington? The city that's just a college town with delusions of importance.", |
| 88 | | - "Burlington: Where craft beer costs more than your rent in other states.", |
| 89 | | - "From Burlington? You definitely have a coexist sticker and zero self-awareness.", |
| 90 | | - "Burlington: The only city where being sustainable means you can't afford not to be.", |
| 91 | | - "Where 'culture' means farmer's markets and pretentious coffee shops.", |
| 92 | | - "Burlington: Portland's less cool, more pretentious cousin who went to liberal arts school.", |
| 93 | | - "From Burlington? Your city's idea of diversity is having both IPA and stout on tap." |
| 2395 | + san_juan: [ |
| 2396 | + "San Juan? Where cruise ships matter more than residents.", |
| 2397 | + "From San Juan? How's living in the Caribbean's most American city?", |
| 2398 | + "San Juan: Where Old San Juan is for tourists and new San Juan is falling apart.", |
| 2399 | + "Oh, San Juan? The city that's just Miami's poorer, more humid cousin.", |
| 2400 | + "San Juan: Where everyone's either in tourism or wishing they weren't.", |
| 2401 | + "From San Juan? Let me guess, you work in hospitality and hate every minute.", |
| 2402 | + "San Juan: The only capital where the fort is in better shape than the schools.", |
| 2403 | + "Where 'infrastructure' means whatever didn't break in the last hurricane.", |
| 2404 | + "San Juan: Proof that being a capital doesn't mean having capital.", |
| 2405 | + "From San Juan? Your city's biggest achievement is staying photogenic while falling apart." |
| 94 | 2406 | ] |
| 95 | 2407 | }, |
| 96 | 2408 | |
| 97 | | - // TEXAS |
| 2409 | + // TEXAS (Expanded) |
| 98 | 2410 | texas: { |
| 99 | 2411 | generic: [ |
| 100 | 2412 | "Texas? Everything's bigger there, especially the egos and the power grid failures.", |
@@ -190,10 +2502,34 @@ export const roastDatabase = { |
| 190 | 2502 | "San Antonio: Austin without the music, Houston without the jobs, Dallas without the money.", |
| 191 | 2503 | "From San Antonio? You definitely have diabetes and a Spurs jersey from 2005.", |
| 192 | 2504 | "San Antonio: Where the heat makes you lazy and the food makes you fat." |
| 2505 | + ], |
| 2506 | + fort_worth: [ |
| 2507 | + "Fort Worth? Dallas's cowboy-cosplaying little brother with an inferiority complex.", |
| 2508 | + "From Fort Worth? How's pretending you're not just another Dallas suburb?", |
| 2509 | + "Fort Worth: Where everyone acts country but works in an office park.", |
| 2510 | + "Oh, Fort Worth? The city that's desperately clinging to cowboy culture in the age of Amazon.", |
| 2511 | + "Fort Worth: Where the stockyards smell better than the politics.", |
| 2512 | + "From Fort Worth? Let me guess, you own cowboy boots you wear once a year to the stock show.", |
| 2513 | + "Fort Worth: The only city where 'culture' means a museum district nobody visits.", |
| 2514 | + "Where everyone drives a truck to their cubicle job.", |
| 2515 | + "Fort Worth: Dallas's less successful sibling who peaked in high school.", |
| 2516 | + "From Fort Worth? Your city's entire identity is 'we're not Dallas' and cows." |
| 2517 | + ], |
| 2518 | + el_paso: [ |
| 2519 | + "El Paso? The city so far from Texas, it's basically New Mexico with a identity crisis.", |
| 2520 | + "From El Paso? How's being closer to California than to Dallas?", |
| 2521 | + "El Paso: Where it's easier to go to Juarez than Austin.", |
| 2522 | + "Oh, El Paso? The city Texas forgets exists until immigration debates start.", |
| 2523 | + "El Paso: Where everyone's bilingual because monolingual people couldn't survive.", |
| 2524 | + "From El Paso? Let me guess, you spend more time explaining you're still in Texas than anything else.", |
| 2525 | + "El Paso: The only Texas city where green chile is more popular than BBQ.", |
| 2526 | + "Where 'mountain time' means you're literally and figuratively behind the rest of Texas.", |
| 2527 | + "El Paso: Proof that Texas is too big to have a coherent identity.", |
| 2528 | + "From El Paso? Your city is what happens when Texas and Mexico have a baby and abandon it." |
| 193 | 2529 | ] |
| 194 | 2530 | }, |
| 195 | 2531 | |
| 196 | | - // CALIFORNIA |
| 2532 | + // CALIFORNIA (Expanded) |
| 197 | 2533 | california: { |
| 198 | 2534 | generic: [ |
| 199 | 2535 | "California? How's that $8 gas and $15 avocado toast treating you?", |
@@ -289,10 +2625,46 @@ export const roastDatabase = { |
| 289 | 2625 | "Oakland: The city where your rent money goes to a landlord in China.", |
| 290 | 2626 | "From Oakland? You probably moved there 2 years ago and now gatekeep who's a 'real' Oakland resident.", |
| 291 | 2627 | "Oakland: Where the lake smells like sewage but people still jog around it pretending it's nice." |
| 2628 | + ], |
| 2629 | + sacramento: [ |
| 2630 | + "Sacramento? The capital nobody remembers is the capital.", |
| 2631 | + "From Sacramento? How's it feel being the most forgettable major city in California?", |
| 2632 | + "Sacramento: Where government workers go to slowly die.", |
| 2633 | + "Oh, Sacramento? The city that's just a rest stop between the Bay and Tahoe.", |
| 2634 | + "Sacramento: Where the biggest achievement is being mentioned as 'near San Francisco'.", |
| 2635 | + "From Sacramento? Let me guess, you work for the state and hate it.", |
| 2636 | + "Sacramento: The only capital city that makes Albany look exciting.", |
| 2637 | + "Where 'culture' means the annual state fair and chain restaurants.", |
| 2638 | + "Sacramento: Proof that being a capital doesn't make you capital-worthy.", |
| 2639 | + "From Sacramento? Your city is what happens when bureaucracy becomes a place." |
| 2640 | + ], |
| 2641 | + fresno: [ |
| 2642 | + "Fresno? The armpit of California's Central Valley.", |
| 2643 | + "From Fresno? How's that meth capital of agriculture working out?", |
| 2644 | + "Fresno: Where the air quality is worse than LA but without any of the benefits.", |
| 2645 | + "Oh, Fresno? The city that makes Bakersfield look sophisticated.", |
| 2646 | + "Fresno: Where everyone's either in agriculture or agriculture-adjacent crime.", |
| 2647 | + "From Fresno? Let me guess, you tell people you're from 'Central California' to avoid the shame.", |
| 2648 | + "Fresno: The only city where 100°F is considered mild weather.", |
| 2649 | + "Where 'entertainment' means driving 3 hours to somewhere interesting.", |
| 2650 | + "Fresno: Proof that not all of California is paradise.", |
| 2651 | + "From Fresno? Your city's biggest export is people trying to leave Fresno." |
| 2652 | + ], |
| 2653 | + san_jose: [ |
| 2654 | + "San Jose? Silicon Valley's boring bedroom community.", |
| 2655 | + "From San Jose? How's living in tech's most expensive suburb?", |
| 2656 | + "San Jose: Where everyone works in tech but can't afford to live where they work.", |
| 2657 | + "Oh, San Jose? The city with all of SF's prices but none of the culture.", |
| 2658 | + "San Jose: Where the only personality trait is your stock options.", |
| 2659 | + "From San Jose? Let me guess, you commute 2 hours to avoid SF rent.", |
| 2660 | + "San Jose: The largest city nobody visits on purpose.", |
| 2661 | + "Where 'nightlife' means coding until 2 AM.", |
| 2662 | + "San Jose: Proof that tech money can't buy a soul.", |
| 2663 | + "From San Jose? Your city's motto should be 'At least we're not Fresno'." |
| 292 | 2664 | ] |
| 293 | 2665 | }, |
| 294 | 2666 | |
| 295 | | - // NEW YORK |
| 2667 | + // NEW YORK (Expanded) |
| 296 | 2668 | newyork: { |
| 297 | 2669 | generic: [ |
| 298 | 2670 | "New York? The city that never sleeps because the sirens won't let you.", |
@@ -372,6 +2744,30 @@ export const roastDatabase = { |
| 372 | 2744 | "From Queens? You definitely have a 45-minute commute to a job that pays like you live in Ohio.", |
| 373 | 2745 | "Queens: Manhattan's storage unit for immigrants and airports." |
| 374 | 2746 | ], |
| 2747 | + bronx: [ |
| 2748 | + "The Bronx? The borough that gave us hip-hop and the Yankees, and hasn't done much since.", |
| 2749 | + "From the Bronx? How's it feel being NYC's most misunderstood borough?", |
| 2750 | + "The Bronx: Where everyone's either Puerto Rican, Dominican, or gentrifying.", |
| 2751 | + "Oh, the Bronx? The borough that's still trading on its reputation from the 80s.", |
| 2752 | + "The Bronx: Where the zoo is nice but the streets are still wild.", |
| 2753 | + "From the Bronx? Let me guess, you're either from Riverdale or you're 'keeping it real'.", |
| 2754 | + "The Bronx: The only borough where being from there is still considered tough.", |
| 2755 | + "Where 'culture' means the Yankees and whatever J.Lo is doing.", |
| 2756 | + "The Bronx: Manhattan's angrier, more authentic sibling.", |
| 2757 | + "From the Bronx? You definitely have stories that end with 'but that's the Bronx for you'." |
| 2758 | + ], |
| 2759 | + staten_island: [ |
| 2760 | + "Staten Island? New York's forgotten borough that everyone wishes would float away.", |
| 2761 | + "From Staten Island? How's it feel being New Jersey without the reputation?", |
| 2762 | + "Staten Island: Where the ferry is free because nobody would pay to go there.", |
| 2763 | + "Oh, Staten Island? The borough that's basically Long Island's even more racist cousin.", |
| 2764 | + "Staten Island: Where everyone's a cop, married to a cop, or related to a cop.", |
| 2765 | + "From Staten Island? Let me guess, you have strong opinions about the other boroughs you never visit.", |
| 2766 | + "Staten Island: The only borough that voted for Trump and wonders why nobody likes them.", |
| 2767 | + "Where 'culture' means Italian-American stereotypes and strip malls.", |
| 2768 | + "Staten Island: Proof that being part of NYC doesn't make you NYC.", |
| 2769 | + "From Staten Island? Your borough is where New Yorkers go to feel like they're in Ohio." |
| 2770 | + ], |
| 375 | 2771 | buffalo: [ |
| 376 | 2772 | "Buffalo? The city that makes Detroit look optimistic.", |
| 377 | 2773 | "From Buffalo? How's that lake effect depression treating you?", |
@@ -388,10 +2784,46 @@ export const roastDatabase = { |
| 388 | 2784 | "Buffalo: Where everyone's an alcoholic but they call it 'handling winter'.", |
| 389 | 2785 | "From Buffalo? Your city's main export is depressed college graduates.", |
| 390 | 2786 | "Buffalo: Proof that God has abandoned New York State." |
| 2787 | + ], |
| 2788 | + rochester: [ |
| 2789 | + "Rochester? Kodak's corpse that refuses to be buried.", |
| 2790 | + "From Rochester? How's living in a city that's developing in reverse?", |
| 2791 | + "Rochester: Where the film industry died and took everything with it.", |
| 2792 | + "Oh, Rochester? The city that's just Buffalo's slightly less depressing sibling.", |
| 2793 | + "Rochester: Where everyone's grandparents had good jobs but you're screwed.", |
| 2794 | + "From Rochester? Let me guess, you have a garbage plate addiction and seasonal depression.", |
| 2795 | + "Rochester: The only city where 'culture' means remembering when things were better.", |
| 2796 | + "Where the universities are good but graduates flee immediately.", |
| 2797 | + "Rochester: Proof that company towns die when the company does.", |
| 2798 | + "From Rochester? Your city's biggest achievement is being mentioned in The Office once." |
| 2799 | + ], |
| 2800 | + syracuse: [ |
| 2801 | + "Syracuse? Where it snows so much even the snow gets depressed.", |
| 2802 | + "From Syracuse? How's that 200 inches of snow and no job market?", |
| 2803 | + "Syracuse: Where Syracuse University is the only reason anyone knows it exists.", |
| 2804 | + "Oh, Syracuse? The city that's just a rest stop between real places.", |
| 2805 | + "Syracuse: Where everyone's either in college or wishing they left after college.", |
| 2806 | + "From Syracuse? Let me guess, you own more winter gear than summer clothes.", |
| 2807 | + "Syracuse: The only city where basketball season is the only season that matters.", |
| 2808 | + "Where 'economic development' means another call center opened.", |
| 2809 | + "Syracuse: Buffalo's even more forgotten sibling.", |
| 2810 | + "From Syracuse? Your city's claim to fame is having the worst weather in America." |
| 2811 | + ], |
| 2812 | + albany: [ |
| 2813 | + "Albany? The capital that everyone forgets is the capital.", |
| 2814 | + "From Albany? How's it feel being NYC's boring government subsidiary?", |
| 2815 | + "Albany: Where political corruption is the only thriving industry.", |
| 2816 | + "Oh, Albany? The city that exists solely because they needed to put the capital somewhere.", |
| 2817 | + "Albany: Where everyone's either a politician, a lobbyist, or depressed.", |
| 2818 | + "From Albany? Let me guess, you work for the state and dream of escape.", |
| 2819 | + "Albany: The only capital that makes Sacramento look exciting.", |
| 2820 | + "Where 'culture' means whatever filters up from NYC.", |
| 2821 | + "Albany: Proof that being a capital doesn't make you important.", |
| 2822 | + "From Albany? Your city's biggest achievement is being between NYC and Montreal." |
| 391 | 2823 | ] |
| 392 | 2824 | }, |
| 393 | 2825 | |
| 394 | | - // FLORIDA |
| 2826 | + // FLORIDA (Expanded) |
| 395 | 2827 | florida: { |
| 396 | 2828 | generic: [ |
| 397 | 2829 | "Florida? The state where every news story starts with 'Florida Man' and ends with 'what were they thinking?'", |
@@ -487,10 +2919,46 @@ export const roastDatabase = { |
| 487 | 2919 | "Jacksonville: Where dreams go to get a DUI.", |
| 488 | 2920 | "From Jacksonville? Your city is what happens when a truck stop becomes self-aware.", |
| 489 | 2921 | "Jacksonville: Proof that not all of Florida can be fun." |
| 2922 | + ], |
| 2923 | + tallahassee: [ |
| 2924 | + "Tallahassee? The capital nobody remembers is in Florida.", |
| 2925 | + "From Tallahassee? How's being Florida's forgotten government storage unit?", |
| 2926 | + "Tallahassee: Where everyone's either a student, a politician, or regretting their choices.", |
| 2927 | + "Oh, Tallahassee? The city that's basically just FSU with some government buildings.", |
| 2928 | + "Tallahassee: Where being the capital means nothing when Miami exists.", |
| 2929 | + "From Tallahassee? Let me guess, you're either in college or never left after college.", |
| 2930 | + "Tallahassee: The only capital that feels like a small town with big town traffic.", |
| 2931 | + "Where 'culture' means football season and that's it.", |
| 2932 | + "Tallahassee: Proof that being a capital doesn't make you relevant.", |
| 2933 | + "From Tallahassee? Your city's biggest achievement is not being Jacksonville." |
| 2934 | + ], |
| 2935 | + fort_lauderdale: [ |
| 2936 | + "Fort Lauderdale? Miami's boring older sibling who goes to bed at 10 PM.", |
| 2937 | + "From Fort Lauderdale? How's being Miami's overflow parking?", |
| 2938 | + "Fort Lauderdale: Where spring breakers go when they can't afford Miami.", |
| 2939 | + "Oh, Fort Lauderdale? The city that's just Miami without the culture or excitement.", |
| 2940 | + "Fort Lauderdale: Where everyone's a boat broker or married to one.", |
| 2941 | + "From Fort Lauderdale? Let me guess, you tell people you're from 'basically Miami'.", |
| 2942 | + "Fort Lauderdale: The only city where the beach is nice but the people are beige.", |
| 2943 | + "Where 'nightlife' means wine bars that close at 11.", |
| 2944 | + "Fort Lauderdale: Miami's retirement community.", |
| 2945 | + "From Fort Lauderdale? Your city's biggest flex is having an airport people use to go to Miami." |
| 2946 | + ], |
| 2947 | + naples: [ |
| 2948 | + "Naples? Where rich people go to die slowly in the sun.", |
| 2949 | + "From Naples? How's living in Florida's most boring retirement community?", |
| 2950 | + "Naples: Where the average age is deceased.", |
| 2951 | + "Oh, Naples? The city that's just a golf course with a beach attached.", |
| 2952 | + "Naples: Where excitement is a new early bird special at the country club.", |
| 2953 | + "From Naples? Let me guess, you're either retired or serving the retired.", |
| 2954 | + "Naples: The only city where 8 PM is considered late night.", |
| 2955 | + "Where 'culture' means which country club has the best buffet.", |
| 2956 | + "Naples: Proof that money can't buy a personality.", |
| 2957 | + "From Naples? Your city's biggest event is when someone under 65 visits." |
| 490 | 2958 | ] |
| 491 | 2959 | }, |
| 492 | 2960 | |
| 493 | | - // COLORADO |
| 2961 | + // COLORADO (Expanded) |
| 494 | 2962 | colorado: { |
| 495 | 2963 | generic: [ |
| 496 | 2964 | "Colorado? Where everyone's a 'native' who moved there 3 years ago.", |
@@ -559,10 +3027,34 @@ export const roastDatabase = { |
| 559 | 3027 | "Colorado Springs: Where everyone's wife sells essential oils.", |
| 560 | 3028 | "From Colorado Springs? Your city is just a giant strip mall with a nice view.", |
| 561 | 3029 | "Colorado Springs: Because someone had to make Denver look progressive." |
| 3030 | + ], |
| 3031 | + fort_collins: [ |
| 3032 | + "Fort Collins? Boulder's less pretentious cousin who still tries too hard.", |
| 3033 | + "From Fort Collins? How's that college town that forgot it's just a college town?", |
| 3034 | + "Fort Collins: Where everyone brews beer and pretends it's a personality.", |
| 3035 | + "Oh, Fort Collins? The city that's just CSU and breweries pretending to be culture.", |
| 3036 | + "Fort Collins: Where everyone's outdoorsy but it's too far from actual mountains.", |
| 3037 | + "From Fort Collins? Let me guess, you work at a brewery or New Belgium.", |
| 3038 | + "Fort Collins: The only city where having 50 breweries counts as diversity.", |
| 3039 | + "Where 'culture' means drunk college kids and craft beer snobs.", |
| 3040 | + "Fort Collins: Denver's boring younger sibling who went to state school.", |
| 3041 | + "From Fort Collins? Your city's biggest achievement is being mentioned as 'near Denver'." |
| 3042 | + ], |
| 3043 | + aspen: [ |
| 3044 | + "Aspen? Where the 1% go to pretend they're outdoorsy.", |
| 3045 | + "From Aspen? How's being a servant in America's most expensive snow globe?", |
| 3046 | + "Aspen: Where a beer costs more than minimum wage workers make in an hour.", |
| 3047 | + "Oh, Aspen? The city that's just a ski resort with a god complex.", |
| 3048 | + "Aspen: Where everyone's either a billionaire or serving billionaires.", |
| 3049 | + "From Aspen? Let me guess, you have three jobs and live in a closet.", |
| 3050 | + "Aspen: The only city where the help has to commute from another time zone.", |
| 3051 | + "Where 'local' means you've been priced out for only 5 years.", |
| 3052 | + "Aspen: Proof that money can buy mountains but not class.", |
| 3053 | + "From Aspen? Your city's biggest export is Instagram posts from people who don't live there." |
| 562 | 3054 | ] |
| 563 | 3055 | }, |
| 564 | 3056 | |
| 565 | | - // PACIFIC NORTHWEST |
| 3057 | + // PACIFIC NORTHWEST (Expanded) |
| 566 | 3058 | washington: { |
| 567 | 3059 | generic: [ |
| 568 | 3060 | "Washington? Where the coffee is strong and the passive aggression is stronger.", |
@@ -614,6 +3106,30 @@ export const roastDatabase = { |
| 614 | 3106 | "Spokane: Where the most culture you'll find is in the yogurt aisle.", |
| 615 | 3107 | "From Spokane? You definitely have a lifted truck and a criminal record.", |
| 616 | 3108 | "Spokane: Because Eastern Washington needed a capital of sadness." |
| 3109 | + ], |
| 3110 | + tacoma: [ |
| 3111 | + "Tacoma? Seattle's smelly little brother with an inferiority complex.", |
| 3112 | + "From Tacoma? How's that 'Seattle's more affordable option' working out with the aroma?", |
| 3113 | + "Tacoma: Where the paper mills ensure you never forget where you are.", |
| 3114 | + "Oh, Tacoma? The city that's been 'up and coming' since the 90s.", |
| 3115 | + "Tacoma: Where everyone pretends it's not just a military town with a museum.", |
| 3116 | + "From Tacoma? Let me guess, you tell people you're from 'South Seattle'.", |
| 3117 | + "Tacoma: The only city where the smell of success is literally sulfur.", |
| 3118 | + "Where 'culture' means that glass museum everyone visits once.", |
| 3119 | + "Tacoma: Proof that being near Seattle doesn't make you Seattle.", |
| 3120 | + "From Tacoma? Your city's biggest achievement is being mentioned in a Neko Case song." |
| 3121 | + ], |
| 3122 | + vancouver_wa: [ |
| 3123 | + "Vancouver? No, not the good one in Canada, the one in Washington nobody asked for.", |
| 3124 | + "From Vancouver, WA? How's being Portland's tax-dodging suburb?", |
| 3125 | + "Vancouver: Where Washingtonians go to shop tax-free and Oregonians go for gas.", |
| 3126 | + "Oh, Vancouver, WA? The city whose entire identity is 'not that Vancouver'.", |
| 3127 | + "Vancouver: Where everyone works in Portland but doesn't want to pay Oregon taxes.", |
| 3128 | + "From Vancouver? Let me guess, you spend half your time explaining which Vancouver.", |
| 3129 | + "Vancouver, WA: The only city that makes Tacoma look like it has an identity.", |
| 3130 | + "Where 'culture' means driving to Portland.", |
| 3131 | + "Vancouver: Proof that tax benefits can't create a personality.", |
| 3132 | + "From Vancouver, WA? Your city exists solely to confuse people and avoid taxes." |
| 617 | 3133 | ] |
| 618 | 3134 | }, |
| 619 | 3135 | |
@@ -663,10 +3179,46 @@ export const roastDatabase = { |
| 663 | 3179 | "Where 'culture' means outdoor concerts you can smell from three miles away.", |
| 664 | 3180 | "Eugene: Salem's more stoned, less functional sibling.", |
| 665 | 3181 | "From Eugene? Your city's biggest achievement is making Portland look corporate." |
| 3182 | + ], |
| 3183 | + salem: [ |
| 3184 | + "Salem? Oregon's capital that everyone forgets is the capital.", |
| 3185 | + "From Salem? How's being Portland's boring government cousin?", |
| 3186 | + "Salem: Where state workers go to slowly die.", |
| 3187 | + "Oh, Salem? The city whose biggest attraction is being between Portland and Eugene.", |
| 3188 | + "Salem: Where everyone's either in government or wishing they weren't.", |
| 3189 | + "From Salem? Let me guess, you commute to Portland for any form of entertainment.", |
| 3190 | + "Salem: The only capital city that makes Olympia look exciting.", |
| 3191 | + "Where 'culture' means the state fair once a year.", |
| 3192 | + "Salem: Proof that being a capital doesn't mean being interesting.", |
| 3193 | + "From Salem? Your city's biggest achievement is having a Trader Joe's." |
| 3194 | + ], |
| 3195 | + bend: [ |
| 3196 | + "Bend? Where rich Californians go to cosplay as outdoorsy.", |
| 3197 | + "From Bend? How's that 'hidden gem' status now that everyone found it?", |
| 3198 | + "Bend: Where the beer flows like water and costs twice as much.", |
| 3199 | + "Oh, Bend? The city that's just Aspen for people who can't afford Aspen.", |
| 3200 | + "Bend: Where everyone's a 'digital nomad' driving up housing prices.", |
| 3201 | + "From Bend? Let me guess, you complain about Californians while serving them overpriced beer.", |
| 3202 | + "Bend: The only city where 'local' means you moved there 5 years ago.", |
| 3203 | + "Where 'affordable' used to be the selling point, now it's just a memory.", |
| 3204 | + "Bend: Proof that outdoor access can't prevent gentrification.", |
| 3205 | + "From Bend? Your city went from cool to bougie faster than you can say 'brewery'." |
| 3206 | + ], |
| 3207 | + medford: [ |
| 3208 | + "Medford? Oregon's meth capital with a Shakespeare festival nearby.", |
| 3209 | + "From Medford? How's living in Oregon's armpit?", |
| 3210 | + "Medford: Where the biggest export is sadness and the biggest import is meth.", |
| 3211 | + "Oh, Medford? The city that makes Eugene look sophisticated.", |
| 3212 | + "Medford: Where everyone's either on drugs or selling them.", |
| 3213 | + "From Medford? Let me guess, you tell people you're from 'Southern Oregon' to sound better.", |
| 3214 | + "Medford: The only city where the pear orchards are more cultured than the people.", |
| 3215 | + "Where 'entertainment' means driving to Ashland.", |
| 3216 | + "Medford: Proof that not all of Oregon is quirky and cool.", |
| 3217 | + "From Medford? Your city is what happens when rural meets rock bottom." |
| 666 | 3218 | ] |
| 667 | 3219 | }, |
| 668 | 3220 | |
| 669 | | - // MIDWEST |
| 3221 | + // ILLINOIS (Expanded) |
| 670 | 3222 | illinois: { |
| 671 | 3223 | generic: [ |
| 672 | 3224 | "Illinois? The state that would be Iowa without Chicago.", |
@@ -701,9 +3253,46 @@ export const roastDatabase = { |
| 701 | 3253 | "Chicago: Where everyone's from the 'Southside' until you ask which part.", |
| 702 | 3254 | "From Chicago? You definitely own a Cubs jersey but can't name five current players.", |
| 703 | 3255 | "Chicago: LA's weather with Detroit's crime rate." |
| 3256 | + ], |
| 3257 | + springfield: [ |
| 3258 | + "Springfield? The city famous for Lincoln and The Simpsons, both fictional at this point.", |
| 3259 | + "From Springfield? How's being Illinois' capital nobody visits?", |
| 3260 | + "Springfield: Where government corruption is the only growth industry.", |
| 3261 | + "Oh, Springfield? The city that peaked when Lincoln lived there.", |
| 3262 | + "Springfield: Where everyone's either a state employee or wishes they weren't.", |
| 3263 | + "From Springfield? Let me guess, you work for the state and hate every minute.", |
| 3264 | + "Springfield: The only capital where the most exciting thing is the state fair.", |
| 3265 | + "Where 'culture' means Lincoln sites and sadness.", |
| 3266 | + "Springfield: Proof that being a capital doesn't make you capital-worthy.", |
| 3267 | + "From Springfield? Your city's biggest achievement is being Homer Simpson's hometown." |
| 3268 | + ], |
| 3269 | + rockford: [ |
| 3270 | + "Rockford? Chicago's meth-head cousin nobody talks about.", |
| 3271 | + "From Rockford? How's being Illinois' most depressing city not named East St. Louis?", |
| 3272 | + "Rockford: Where the factories closed but the depression stayed open.", |
| 3273 | + "Oh, Rockford? The city that makes Peoria look like Paris.", |
| 3274 | + "Rockford: Where everyone's either unemployed or underemployed.", |
| 3275 | + "From Rockford? Let me guess, you tell people you're from 'near Chicago'.", |
| 3276 | + "Rockford: The only city where urban decay is the architectural style.", |
| 3277 | + "Where 'hope' is a four-letter word that nobody uses.", |
| 3278 | + "Rockford: Proof that not all of Illinois' problems are in Chicago.", |
| 3279 | + "From Rockford? Your city's biggest export is people fleeing to anywhere else." |
| 3280 | + ], |
| 3281 | + peoria: [ |
| 3282 | + "Peoria? Where everything plays because there's nothing else to do.", |
| 3283 | + "From Peoria? How's being America's most average city working out?", |
| 3284 | + "Peoria: Where mediocrity isn't just accepted, it's the goal.", |
| 3285 | + "Oh, Peoria? The city whose claim to fame is being mentioned in vaudeville.", |
| 3286 | + "Peoria: Where everyone's either in insurance or wishing they were somewhere else.", |
| 3287 | + "From Peoria? Let me guess, you're excited about the new Applebee's.", |
| 3288 | + "Peoria: The only city where 'playing in Peoria' means you've given up.", |
| 3289 | + "Where 'culture' means the civic center gets a touring Broadway show once a year.", |
| 3290 | + "Peoria: Proof that being centrally located doesn't make you central to anything.", |
| 3291 | + "From Peoria? Your city's biggest achievement is being a metaphor for Middle America." |
| 704 | 3292 | ] |
| 705 | 3293 | }, |
| 706 | 3294 | |
| 3295 | + // MICHIGAN (Expanded) |
| 707 | 3296 | michigan: { |
| 708 | 3297 | generic: [ |
| 709 | 3298 | "Michigan? The state shaped like a mitten because it's cold as fuck.", |
@@ -738,10 +3327,58 @@ export const roastDatabase = { |
| 738 | 3327 | "Detroit: Cleveland without the charm.", |
| 739 | 3328 | "From Detroit? Your city's biggest achievement is making Flint look good.", |
| 740 | 3329 | "Detroit: Proof that rock bottom has a basement." |
| 3330 | + ], |
| 3331 | + grand_rapids: [ |
| 3332 | + "Grand Rapids? Detroit's boring Christian cousin.", |
| 3333 | + "From Grand Rapids? How's that Dutch Reformed personality working out?", |
| 3334 | + "Grand Rapids: Where craft beer can't mask the religious conservatism.", |
| 3335 | + "Oh, Grand Rapids? The city that thinks it's Portland but it's really just Michigan.", |
| 3336 | + "Grand Rapids: Where everyone's either in a church or a brewery, sometimes both.", |
| 3337 | + "From Grand Rapids? Let me guess, you're 'not like other Michigan cities'.", |
| 3338 | + "Grand Rapids: The only city where Art Prize can't make up for the lack of culture.", |
| 3339 | + "Where 'diversity' means different denominations of Christianity.", |
| 3340 | + "Grand Rapids: Proof that hipsters and religious fundamentalists can coexist boringly.", |
| 3341 | + "From Grand Rapids? Your city's biggest achievement is being better than Detroit, which isn't saying much." |
| 3342 | + ], |
| 3343 | + ann_arbor: [ |
| 3344 | + "Ann Arbor? The city that thinks a university makes it sophisticated.", |
| 3345 | + "From Ann Arbor? How's that overpriced college town bubble?", |
| 3346 | + "Ann Arbor: Where everyone's either a student or wishes they still were.", |
| 3347 | + "Oh, Ann Arbor? The city that's just Berkeley for people who couldn't get into Berkeley.", |
| 3348 | + "Ann Arbor: Where Michigan fans are more annoying than the actual wolverines.", |
| 3349 | + "From Ann Arbor? Let me guess, you mention you went to Michigan within 5 minutes of meeting someone.", |
| 3350 | + "Ann Arbor: The only city where everyone's liberal until it comes to football.", |
| 3351 | + "Where 'culture' means whatever the university imports.", |
| 3352 | + "Ann Arbor: Proof that education doesn't cure pretentiousness.", |
| 3353 | + "From Ann Arbor? Your city's entire identity is a school that's good at disappointing in football." |
| 3354 | + ], |
| 3355 | + lansing: [ |
| 3356 | + "Lansing? The capital nobody remembers is Michigan's capital.", |
| 3357 | + "From Lansing? How's being Detroit's boring government cousin?", |
| 3358 | + "Lansing: Where Michigan State is the only reason anyone under 30 exists.", |
| 3359 | + "Oh, Lansing? The city that's just East Lansing without the students.", |
| 3360 | + "Lansing: Where everyone's either in government or asking 'you want fries with that?'", |
| 3361 | + "From Lansing? Let me guess, you're a Spartan fan or you're wrong.", |
| 3362 | + "Lansing: The only capital that makes Harrisburg look thrilling.", |
| 3363 | + "Where 'culture' means whatever East Lansing does.", |
| 3364 | + "Lansing: Proof that being a capital doesn't require being interesting.", |
| 3365 | + "From Lansing? Your city's biggest achievement is being next to a university." |
| 3366 | + ], |
| 3367 | + flint: [ |
| 3368 | + "Flint? Where the water's been trying to kill you since 2014.", |
| 3369 | + "From Flint? How's that lead poisoning and government abandonment?", |
| 3370 | + "Flint: Where the water crisis is old news but still not fixed.", |
| 3371 | + "Oh, Flint? The city that makes Detroit say 'at least we're not Flint'.", |
| 3372 | + "Flint: Where hope died with the auto industry and the water finished the job.", |
| 3373 | + "From Flint? Let me guess, you still buy bottled water by the pallet.", |
| 3374 | + "Flint: The only city where 'progress' means the water might kill you slower.", |
| 3375 | + "Where 'infrastructure' is a foreign word and clean water is a luxury.", |
| 3376 | + "Flint: Proof that America treats some cities like third-world countries.", |
| 3377 | + "From Flint? Your city's biggest export is cautionary tales and lawsuits." |
| 741 | 3378 | ] |
| 742 | 3379 | }, |
| 743 | 3380 | |
| 744 | | - // SOUTHERN STATES |
| 3381 | + // SOUTHERN STATES (Expanded) |
| 745 | 3382 | alabama: { |
| 746 | 3383 | generic: [ |
| 747 | 3384 | "Alabama? Where the family trees are circles and the education system is a straight line to nowhere.", |
@@ -760,18 +3397,52 @@ export const roastDatabase = { |
| 760 | 3397 | "From Birmingham? How's it feel being Alabama's attempt at having a real city?", |
| 761 | 3398 | "Birmingham: Where the civil rights museum is the only thing worth visiting.", |
| 762 | 3399 | "Oh, Birmingham? The city whose glory days ended with the steel industry.", |
| 763 | | - "Birmingham: Where everyone pretends it's not just a giant suburb with delusions." |
| 3400 | + "Birmingham: Where everyone pretends it's not just a giant suburb with delusions.", |
| 3401 | + "From Birmingham? Let me guess, you tell people it's 'the Pittsburgh of the South' like that's good.", |
| 3402 | + "Birmingham: The only city where the past is more alive than the present.", |
| 3403 | + "Where 'progress' means they took down some of the Confederate statues.", |
| 3404 | + "Birmingham: Atlanta's embarrassing relative nobody invites to family gatherings.", |
| 3405 | + "From Birmingham? Your city's biggest achievement is being mentioned in Letter from Birmingham Jail." |
| 764 | 3406 | ], |
| 765 | 3407 | mobile: [ |
| 766 | 3408 | "Mobile? New Orleans' boring cousin who forgot how to party.", |
| 767 | 3409 | "From Mobile? The city that claims it invented Mardi Gras but does it worse than everyone else.", |
| 768 | 3410 | "Mobile: Where the port is the only thing that moves.", |
| 769 | 3411 | "Oh, Mobile? Alabama's attempt at having a beach town without understanding the assignment.", |
| 770 | | - "Mobile: Where hurricanes are the most exciting thing that happens." |
| 3412 | + "Mobile: Where hurricanes are the most exciting thing that happens.", |
| 3413 | + "From Mobile? Let me guess, you're bitter about New Orleans getting all the credit.", |
| 3414 | + "Mobile: The only city where 'culture' means a second-rate Mardi Gras.", |
| 3415 | + "Where the humidity is the only thing thicker than the accents.", |
| 3416 | + "Mobile: Proof that having a port doesn't make you important anymore.", |
| 3417 | + "From Mobile? Your city's biggest export is disappointment and hurricane damage." |
| 3418 | + ], |
| 3419 | + montgomery: [ |
| 3420 | + "Montgomery? The capital that peaked during the Confederacy and it shows.", |
| 3421 | + "From Montgomery? How's living in Alabama's most historically problematic city?", |
| 3422 | + "Montgomery: Where the civil rights history is the only reason to visit.", |
| 3423 | + "Oh, Montgomery? The city that's still mad about losing the Civil War.", |
| 3424 | + "Montgomery: Where everyone's either in government or wishing they weren't in Alabama.", |
| 3425 | + "From Montgomery? Let me guess, you avoid downtown after dark.", |
| 3426 | + "Montgomery: The only capital where the past is more developed than the future.", |
| 3427 | + "Where 'progress' means admitting the Civil War is over.", |
| 3428 | + "Montgomery: Proof that being first capital of the Confederacy isn't a flex.", |
| 3429 | + "From Montgomery? Your city's biggest achievement is being where Rosa Parks said no." |
| 3430 | + ], |
| 3431 | + huntsville: [ |
| 3432 | + "Huntsville? Where rocket scientists live in the 1950s.", |
| 3433 | + "From Huntsville? How's being Alabama's 'smart city' in the state that isn't?", |
| 3434 | + "Huntsville: Where NASA is the only thing preventing total irrelevance.", |
| 3435 | + "Oh, Huntsville? The city that's just a military-industrial complex with suburbs.", |
| 3436 | + "Huntsville: Where everyone's an engineer with the social skills to match.", |
| 3437 | + "From Huntsville? Let me guess, you work in 'aerospace' and live in Madison.", |
| 3438 | + "Huntsville: The only city in Alabama trying to be Austin but achieving Akron.", |
| 3439 | + "Where 'culture' means the space museum and chain restaurants.", |
| 3440 | + "Huntsville: Proof that smart people can still choose to live in Alabama.", |
| 3441 | + "From Huntsville? Your city's biggest achievement is convincing tech companies Alabama exists." |
| 771 | 3442 | ] |
| 772 | 3443 | }, |
| 773 | 3444 | |
| 774 | | - // SOUTH CAROLINA |
| 3445 | + // SOUTH CAROLINA (Expanded) |
| 775 | 3446 | southcarolina: { |
| 776 | 3447 | generic: [ |
| 777 | 3448 | "South Carolina? Where the history is ugly and the humidity is uglier.", |
@@ -796,10 +3467,46 @@ export const roastDatabase = { |
| 796 | 3467 | "Where 'culture' means mint juleps and willful ignorance.", |
| 797 | 3468 | "Charleston: Savannah's more pretentious cousin with worse food.", |
| 798 | 3469 | "From Charleston? Your city's idea of progress is admitting slavery was 'problematic'." |
| 3470 | + ], |
| 3471 | + columbia: [ |
| 3472 | + "Columbia? The capital that's as hot as hell and twice as boring.", |
| 3473 | + "From Columbia? How's being South Carolina's most forgettable city?", |
| 3474 | + "Columbia: Where USC is the only reason anyone under 60 lives there.", |
| 3475 | + "Oh, Columbia? The city that Sherman should have burned twice.", |
| 3476 | + "Columbia: Where everyone's either a student or stuck.", |
| 3477 | + "From Columbia? Let me guess, you can't wait to move to Charleston or Charlotte.", |
| 3478 | + "Columbia: The only capital where the best thing is the airport to leave.", |
| 3479 | + "Where 'culture' means whatever the university provides.", |
| 3480 | + "Columbia: Proof that being centrally located doesn't make you central to anything.", |
| 3481 | + "From Columbia? Your city's biggest achievement is being halfway to better places." |
| 3482 | + ], |
| 3483 | + greenville: [ |
| 3484 | + "Greenville? Where conservatives go to pretend they're cultured.", |
| 3485 | + "From Greenville? How's that 'Nashville of South Carolina' delusion working?", |
| 3486 | + "Greenville: Where the downtown is nice but the people are backwards.", |
| 3487 | + "Oh, Greenville? The city that thinks a main street makes it cosmopolitan.", |
| 3488 | + "Greenville: Where everyone's in manufacturing or manufacturing excuses to leave.", |
| 3489 | + "From Greenville? Let me guess, you brag about that one waterfall downtown.", |
| 3490 | + "Greenville: The only city where BMW is the biggest culture import.", |
| 3491 | + "Where 'diversity' means different types of churches.", |
| 3492 | + "Greenville: Proof that you can polish a turd but it's still South Carolina.", |
| 3493 | + "From Greenville? Your city's biggest achievement is being less embarrassing than the rest of SC." |
| 3494 | + ], |
| 3495 | + myrtle_beach: [ |
| 3496 | + "Myrtle Beach? Where spring breakers and retirees go to make bad decisions.", |
| 3497 | + "From Myrtle Beach? How's living in the Redneck Riviera?", |
| 3498 | + "Myrtle Beach: Where the beach is nice but everything else is a tourist trap.", |
| 3499 | + "Oh, Myrtle Beach? The city that's just Panama City's trashier cousin.", |
| 3500 | + "Myrtle Beach: Where everyone's drunk, sunburned, or both.", |
| 3501 | + "From Myrtle Beach? Let me guess, you work in tourism and hate tourists.", |
| 3502 | + "Myrtle Beach: The only beach town where the ocean is the cleanest thing.", |
| 3503 | + "Where 'culture' means mini golf and all-you-can-eat buffets.", |
| 3504 | + "Myrtle Beach: Proof that beaches can't fix bad taste.", |
| 3505 | + "From Myrtle Beach? Your city's biggest export is STDs and regrettable tattoos." |
| 799 | 3506 | ] |
| 800 | 3507 | }, |
| 801 | 3508 | |
| 802 | | - // NORTH CAROLINA |
| 3509 | + // NORTH CAROLINA (Expanded) |
| 803 | 3510 | northcarolina: { |
| 804 | 3511 | generic: [ |
| 805 | 3512 | "North Carolina? Where the barbecue is decent but the politics are rotten.", |
@@ -836,9 +3543,46 @@ export const roastDatabase = { |
| 836 | 3543 | "Where 'diversity' means having both NC State and UNC fans.", |
| 837 | 3544 | "Raleigh: Charlotte's less successful, more bureaucratic twin.", |
| 838 | 3545 | "From Raleigh? Your city's biggest achievement is being the capital of mediocrity." |
| 3546 | + ], |
| 3547 | + durham: [ |
| 3548 | + "Durham? Where Duke University is the only thing preventing total collapse.", |
| 3549 | + "From Durham? How's that 'Brooklyn of the South' fantasy working out?", |
| 3550 | + "Durham: Where gentrification and poverty have a cage match daily.", |
| 3551 | + "Oh, Durham? The city that's just Raleigh's edgier sibling with more crime.", |
| 3552 | + "Durham: Where everyone's either at Duke or serving people at Duke.", |
| 3553 | + "From Durham? Let me guess, you live in a 'transitioning' neighborhood.", |
| 3554 | + "Durham: The only city where tobacco money built a university that tells you not to smoke.", |
| 3555 | + "Where 'culture' means overpriced restaurants in former warehouses.", |
| 3556 | + "Durham: Proof that having a good university doesn't fix a broken city.", |
| 3557 | + "From Durham? Your city's biggest achievement is not being as boring as Raleigh." |
| 3558 | + ], |
| 3559 | + asheville: [ |
| 3560 | + "Asheville? Where trust fund hippies go to find themselves and price out locals.", |
| 3561 | + "From Asheville? How's that 'Portland of the South' working with Southern wages?", |
| 3562 | + "Asheville: Where everyone's a artist but nobody can afford rent.", |
| 3563 | + "Oh, Asheville? The city that's just a brewery tour with a housing crisis.", |
| 3564 | + "Asheville: Where the beer flows freely but the wages don't.", |
| 3565 | + "From Asheville? Let me guess, you have three jobs and they're all in service.", |
| 3566 | + "Asheville: The only city where drum circles are considered culture.", |
| 3567 | + "Where 'local' means you've been priced out for only 5 years.", |
| 3568 | + "Asheville: Proof that hipsters ruin everything, even mountains.", |
| 3569 | + "From Asheville? Your city's biggest export is trust fund kids' Instagram posts." |
| 3570 | + ], |
| 3571 | + wilmington_nc: [ |
| 3572 | + "Wilmington? Where retirees go to complain about hurricanes.", |
| 3573 | + "From Wilmington, NC? How's being North Carolina's most forgettable beach town?", |
| 3574 | + "Wilmington: Where everyone's either filming something or retired.", |
| 3575 | + "Oh, Wilmington? The city that's just Myrtle Beach with pretensions.", |
| 3576 | + "Wilmington: Where hurricane season is the most exciting time of year.", |
| 3577 | + "From Wilmington? Let me guess, you work in film or hospitality, the only two options.", |
| 3578 | + "Wilmington: The only city where 'culture' means which beach bar you prefer.", |
| 3579 | + "Where everyone's from somewhere better but came for the 'beach lifestyle'.", |
| 3580 | + "Wilmington: Proof that having beaches doesn't make you interesting.", |
| 3581 | + "From Wilmington? Your city's biggest achievement is being in Dawson's Creek." |
| 839 | 3582 | ] |
| 840 | 3583 | }, |
| 841 | 3584 | |
| 3585 | + // TENNESSEE (Expanded) |
| 842 | 3586 | tennessee: { |
| 843 | 3587 | generic: [ |
| 844 | 3588 | "Tennessee? Where the whiskey is strong but the education system is weaker.", |
@@ -875,9 +3619,34 @@ export const roastDatabase = { |
| 875 | 3619 | "Where 'culture' means choosing between Elvis tourism and crime statistics.", |
| 876 | 3620 | "Memphis: Nashville's dangerous cousin with better food and worse everything else.", |
| 877 | 3621 | "From Memphis? Your city killed Elvis and it's been downhill ever since." |
| 3622 | + ], |
| 3623 | + knoxville: [ |
| 3624 | + "Knoxville? Where the University of Tennessee is the only reason it exists.", |
| 3625 | + "From Knoxville? How's living in Tennessee's drunk college town?", |
| 3626 | + "Knoxville: Where everyone's either a Vol or wrong.", |
| 3627 | + "Oh, Knoxville? The city that's just Gatlinburg's boring older sibling.", |
| 3628 | + "Knoxville: Where football season is the only season that matters.", |
| 3629 | + "From Knoxville? Let me guess, you bleed orange and have no other personality traits.", |
| 3630 | + "Knoxville: The only city where 'culture' means tailgating.", |
| 3631 | + "Where the mountains are pretty but the city is ugly.", |
| 3632 | + "Knoxville: Proof that having a university doesn't make you university-worthy.", |
| 3633 | + "From Knoxville? Your city's biggest achievement is being near the Smokies." |
| 3634 | + ], |
| 3635 | + chattanooga: [ |
| 3636 | + "Chattanooga? The city with good internet and nothing to do with it.", |
| 3637 | + "From Chattanooga? How's having the fastest internet to nowhere?", |
| 3638 | + "Chattanooga: Where the only attraction is leaving to go to Nashville or Atlanta.", |
| 3639 | + "Oh, Chattanooga? The city that's just a rest stop with ambitions.", |
| 3640 | + "Chattanooga: Where everyone's either retired or wishing they were.", |
| 3641 | + "From Chattanooga? Let me guess, you brag about the internet speed and that's it.", |
| 3642 | + "Chattanooga: The only city where 'progress' means Google Fiber.", |
| 3643 | + "Where 'culture' means that aquarium everyone visits once.", |
| 3644 | + "Chattanooga: Proof that good infrastructure can't create personality.", |
| 3645 | + "From Chattanooga? Your city's claim to fame is a choo-choo and fast internet." |
| 878 | 3646 | ] |
| 879 | 3647 | }, |
| 880 | 3648 | |
| 3649 | + // KENTUCKY (Expanded) |
| 881 | 3650 | kentucky: { |
| 882 | 3651 | generic: [ |
| 883 | 3652 | "Kentucky? Where the horses have better healthcare than the people.", |
@@ -902,1022 +3671,975 @@ export const roastDatabase = { |
| 902 | 3671 | "Where 'culture' means getting blackout drunk in a seersucker suit.", |
| 903 | 3672 | "Louisville: Lexington's bigger, drunker sibling with a gambling problem.", |
| 904 | 3673 | "From Louisville? Your city's pronunciation is as confused as its identity." |
| 3674 | + ], |
| 3675 | + lexington: [ |
| 3676 | + "Lexington? Where horses live better than humans.", |
| 3677 | + "From Lexington? How's living in a college town that forgot it's in Kentucky?", |
| 3678 | + "Lexington: Where UK basketball is a religion and everything else is heresy.", |
| 3679 | + "Oh, Lexington? The city that's just Louisville's preppy little sibling.", |
| 3680 | + "Lexington: Where everyone's either at UK or serving people at UK.", |
| 3681 | + "From Lexington? Let me guess, you have strong opinions about basketball and horses.", |
| 3682 | + "Lexington: The only city where 'culture' means bourbon tours and horse farms.", |
| 3683 | + "Where everyone pretends they're not in Eastern Kentucky.", |
| 3684 | + "Lexington: Proof that money can't buy class, but it can buy horses.", |
| 3685 | + "From Lexington? Your city's biggest achievement is being the least embarrassing part of Kentucky." |
| 3686 | + ], |
| 3687 | + bowling_green: [ |
| 3688 | + "Bowling Green? Where the Corvette museum is more interesting than the residents.", |
| 3689 | + "From Bowling Green? How's being Kentucky's most forgettable city?", |
| 3690 | + "Bowling Green: Where everyone's either making cars or meth.", |
| 3691 | + "Oh, Bowling Green? The city that's just a rest stop with a university.", |
| 3692 | + "Bowling Green: Where WKU is the only reason anyone under 65 lives there.", |
| 3693 | + "From Bowling Green? Let me guess, you work at the Corvette plant or wish you did.", |
| 3694 | + "Bowling Green: The only city where 'culture' means the sinkhole that ate Corvettes.", |
| 3695 | + "Where excitement is driving to Nashville.", |
| 3696 | + "Bowling Green: Proof that making cool cars doesn't make your city cool.", |
| 3697 | + "From Bowling Green? Your city's claim to fame is a car most residents can't afford." |
| 905 | 3698 | ] |
| 906 | 3699 | }, |
| 907 | 3700 | |
| 908 | | - // WESTERN STATES |
| 909 | | - utah: { |
| 910 | | - generic: [ |
| 911 | | - "Utah? Where the mountains are high and the alcohol content is lower.", |
| 912 | | - "From Utah? How's living in a state run by a church working out?", |
| 913 | | - "Utah: Where everyone has seven kids or seven wives, sometimes both.", |
| 914 | | - "Oh, Utah? The state where caffeine is a controlled substance.", |
| 915 | | - "Utah: Where the skiing is great but the nightlife is a prayer meeting.", |
| 916 | | - "From Utah? Let me guess, you're either Mormon or explaining why you live there anyway.", |
| 917 | | - "Utah: The only state where the separation of church and state is a suggestion.", |
| 918 | | - "Where 'diversity' means different shades of white and different levels of Mormon.", |
| 919 | | - "Utah: Proof that beautiful landscapes can't make up for weird liquor laws.", |
| 920 | | - "From Utah? Your state's biggest export is missionaries and repressed teenagers." |
| 921 | | - ], |
| 922 | | - salt_lake_city: [ |
| 923 | | - "Salt Lake City? Where the lake smells like death and the nightlife died years ago.", |
| 924 | | - "From SLC? How's it feel living in America's most sober city?", |
| 925 | | - "Salt Lake City: Where the Olympics were held once and they won't shut up about it.", |
| 926 | | - "Oh, SLC? The city where you need a membership to buy a real drink.", |
| 927 | | - "Salt Lake City: Where everyone's either Mormon or aggressively not Mormon.", |
| 928 | | - "From SLC? Let me guess, you ski to avoid dealing with the weird liquor laws.", |
| 929 | | - "Salt Lake City: The only city where the air quality is worse than the dating scene.", |
| 930 | | - "Where 'wild night' means staying out until 10 PM.", |
| 931 | | - "Salt Lake City: Denver's boring, sober cousin who goes to bed early.", |
| 932 | | - "From SLC? Your city's biggest achievement is being slightly less Mormon than Provo." |
| 933 | | - ] |
| 934 | | - }, |
| 935 | | - |
| 936 | | - newmexico: { |
| 937 | | - generic: [ |
| 938 | | - "New Mexico? Where Breaking Bad is the only thing people know about your state.", |
| 939 | | - "From New Mexico? How's living in Arizona's poor, forgotten sibling?", |
| 940 | | - "New Mexico: Where the aliens are more interesting than the residents.", |
| 941 | | - "Oh, New Mexico? The state that has to constantly remind people it's part of America.", |
| 942 | | - "New Mexico: Where everyone's either an artist, a scientist, or cooking meth.", |
| 943 | | - "From New Mexico? Let me guess, you've already corrected someone who thought you needed a passport.", |
| 944 | | - "New Mexico: The only state where nuclear testing improved the landscape.", |
| 945 | | - "Where 'culture' means choosing between green or red chile like it matters.", |
| 946 | | - "New Mexico: Proof that you can have beautiful sunsets and ugly everything else.", |
| 947 | | - "From New Mexico? Your state's biggest export is confused geography teachers." |
| 948 | | - ], |
| 949 | | - albuquerque: [ |
| 950 | | - "Albuquerque? The city whose biggest claim to fame is a TV show about meth.", |
| 951 | | - "From Albuquerque? How's it feel living in Breaking Bad's filming location?", |
| 952 | | - "Albuquerque: Where everyone's either a wannabe Walter White or a disappointed tourist.", |
| 953 | | - "Oh, Albuquerque? The city that's just Phoenix with worse weather and more crime.", |
| 954 | | - "Albuquerque: Where the balloons are hot but the economy is ice cold.", |
| 955 | | - "From Albuquerque? Let me guess, you've already given directions to Walter White's house today.", |
| 956 | | - "Albuquerque: The only city where turquoise jewelry outnumbers job opportunities.", |
| 957 | | - "Where 'culture' means arguing about chile and pretending crime isn't a problem.", |
| 958 | | - "Albuquerque: Santa Fe's trashy cousin with a meth problem.", |
| 959 | | - "From Albuquerque? Your city peaked when Bugs Bunny took that wrong turn." |
| 960 | | - ] |
| 961 | | - }, |
| 962 | | - |
| 963 | | - // MORE MIDWEST STATES |
| 964 | | - indiana: { |
| 965 | | - generic: [ |
| 966 | | - "Indiana? Where excitement goes to die and corn goes to grow.", |
| 967 | | - "From Indiana? How's living in America's drive-through state?", |
| 968 | | - "Indiana: Where the most interesting thing is leaving to go somewhere else.", |
| 969 | | - "Oh, Indiana? The state whose motto should be 'At least we're not Ohio'.", |
| 970 | | - "Indiana: Where everyone's personality is 'Hoosier' and nobody knows what that means.", |
| 971 | | - "From Indiana? Let me guess, you're passionate about high school basketball and nothing else.", |
| 972 | | - "Indiana: The only state where corn mazes are considered entertainment.", |
| 973 | | - "Where 'culture' means which small town festival you're avoiding this weekend.", |
| 974 | | - "Indiana: Proof that you can be in the middle of everything and still be nowhere.", |
| 975 | | - "From Indiana? Your state's biggest export is boredom and basketball players who leave." |
| 976 | | - ], |
| 977 | | - indianapolis: [ |
| 978 | | - "Indianapolis? The city that exists for two weeks in May and then everyone forgets about it.", |
| 979 | | - "From Indy? How's it feel living in a city that's just a racetrack with suburbs?", |
| 980 | | - "Indianapolis: Where the 500 is the only 500 things to do all year.", |
| 981 | | - "Oh, Indianapolis? The city that's desperately trying to be Chicago's little brother.", |
| 982 | | - "Indianapolis: Where everyone works in insurance and pretends to like racing.", |
| 983 | | - "From Indianapolis? Let me guess, you own checkered flag something you wear once a year.", |
| 984 | | - "Indianapolis: The only city where 'downtown revival' has been happening for 30 years.", |
| 985 | | - "Where 'culture' means chain restaurants and a mall shaped like a circle.", |
| 986 | | - "Indianapolis: Columbus's boring twin with a racing fetish.", |
| 987 | | - "From Indianapolis? Your city's biggest achievement is being slightly better than Fort Wayne." |
| 988 | | - ] |
| 989 | | - }, |
| 990 | | - |
| 991 | | - minnesota: { |
| 992 | | - generic: [ |
| 993 | | - "Minnesota? Where 'Minnesota Nice' is just passive-aggressive with extra steps.", |
| 994 | | - "From Minnesota? How's that fake politeness hiding bitter resentment working out?", |
| 995 | | - "Minnesota: Where the winters are long and the personality is Lutheran.", |
| 996 | | - "Oh, Minnesota? The state that's just Canada's wannabe little brother.", |
| 997 | | - "Minnesota: Where everyone's 'nice' but nobody's actually friendly.", |
| 998 | | - "From Minnesota? Let me guess, you've already said 'ope' fourteen times today.", |
| 999 | | - "Minnesota: The only state where hotdish is cuisine and suffering is tradition.", |
| 1000 | | - "Where 'diversity' means Swedish, Norwegian, AND Finnish ancestors.", |
| 1001 | | - "Minnesota: Proof that you can be nice and still be unbearable.", |
| 1002 | | - "From Minnesota? Your state's biggest export is passive aggression and Prince posthumously." |
| 1003 | | - ], |
| 1004 | | - minneapolis: [ |
| 1005 | | - "Minneapolis? The city that burned itself down and called it progress.", |
| 1006 | | - "From Minneapolis? How's that Minnesota Nice working with all that civil unrest?", |
| 1007 | | - "Minneapolis: Where everyone's progressive until it affects their neighborhood.", |
| 1008 | | - "Oh, Minneapolis? The city that's just St. Paul's edgier twin with more problems.", |
| 1009 | | - "Minneapolis: Where the lakes are pretty but frozen 8 months a year.", |
| 1010 | | - "From Minneapolis? Let me guess, you bike in winter to prove you're hardcore.", |
| 1011 | | - "Minneapolis: The only city where gentrification and riots compete for headlines.", |
| 1012 | | - "Where 'culture' means craft beer and pretending the cold builds character.", |
| 1013 | | - "Minneapolis: Chicago's colder, whiter cousin with more guilt.", |
| 1014 | | - "From Minneapolis? Your city's biggest achievement is making St. Paul look stable." |
| 1015 | | - ] |
| 1016 | | - }, |
| 1017 | | - |
| 1018 | | - iowa: { |
| 1019 | | - generic: [ |
| 1020 | | - "Iowa? Where the corn has more personality than the people.", |
| 1021 | | - "From Iowa? How's living in America's waiting room between real states?", |
| 1022 | | - "Iowa: Where caucuses matter for five minutes every four years then back to corn.", |
| 1023 | | - "Oh, Iowa? The state that makes Nebraska look exciting.", |
| 1024 | | - "Iowa: Where everyone's friendly because there's nothing else to do.", |
| 1025 | | - "From Iowa? Let me guess, you're passionate about corn and... corn.", |
| 1026 | | - "Iowa: The only state where the state fair is the highlight of the decade.", |
| 1027 | | - "Where 'diversity' means different types of corn.", |
| 1028 | | - "Iowa: Proof that you can be first in caucuses and last in everything interesting.", |
| 1029 | | - "From Iowa? Your state's biggest export is young people who couldn't leave fast enough." |
| 1030 | | - ], |
| 1031 | | - des_moines: [ |
| 1032 | | - "Des Moines? The city that insurance built and boredom maintains.", |
| 1033 | | - "From Des Moines? How's it feel being Iowa's attempt at having a city?", |
| 1034 | | - "Des Moines: Where everyone works in insurance and dreams of anywhere else.", |
| 1035 | | - "Oh, Des Moines? The city whose skyline is three buildings and false hope.", |
| 1036 | | - "Des Moines: Where the most exciting thing is the Iowa State Fair once a year.", |
| 1037 | | - "From Des Moines? Let me guess, you're in insurance or married to someone in insurance.", |
| 1038 | | - "Des Moines: The only city where 'nightlife' means Applebee's is open until 11.", |
| 1039 | | - "Where 'culture' means which chain restaurant to try this weekend.", |
| 1040 | | - "Des Moines: Omaha's even more boring cousin.", |
| 1041 | | - "From Des Moines? Your city's biggest achievement is tricking companies to move there with tax breaks." |
| 1042 | | - ] |
| 1043 | | - }, |
| 1044 | | - |
| 1045 | | - // MONTANA |
| 1046 | | - montana: { |
| 1047 | | - generic: [ |
| 1048 | | - "Montana? Where the sky is big and the job opportunities are small.", |
| 1049 | | - "From Montana? How's living in America's most expensive nature preserve?", |
| 1050 | | - "Montana: Where everyone's a rancher but nobody can afford land.", |
| 1051 | | - "Oh, Montana? The state where winter is 9 months and road construction is the other 3.", |
| 1052 | | - "Montana: Where 'big sky' means you can see your unemployment from space.", |
| 1053 | | - "From Montana? Let me guess, you know everyone in your county personally.", |
| 1054 | | - "Montana: The only state where grizzly bears have better healthcare than residents.", |
| 1055 | | - "Where 'nightlife' means the bar stays open until 10 PM.", |
| 1056 | | - "Montana: Wyoming's more populated, equally irrelevant sibling.", |
| 1057 | | - "From Montana? Your state's biggest export is young people fleeing to anywhere with WiFi." |
| 1058 | | - ], |
| 1059 | | - missoula: [ |
| 1060 | | - "Missoula? The city where college kids go to pretend they're outdoorsy.", |
| 1061 | | - "From Missoula? How's that university town surrounded by mountains you never hike?", |
| 1062 | | - "Missoula: Where everyone's studying something they'll never use professionally.", |
| 1063 | | - "Oh, Missoula? The city that's just Bozeman for people who can't afford Bozeman.", |
| 1064 | | - "Missoula: Where 'culture' means craft beer and complaining about Californians.", |
| 1065 | | - "From Missoula? You definitely own hiking boots you've worn to bars more than trails.", |
| 1066 | | - "Missoula: The only city where your barista has a master's degree in environmental science.", |
| 1067 | | - "Where 'diverse' means having both Patagonia and REI.", |
| 1068 | | - "Missoula: Eugene's less weird, more isolated cousin.", |
| 1069 | | - "From Missoula? Your city's idea of excitement is when a new brewery opens." |
| 1070 | | - ] |
| 1071 | | - }, |
| 1072 | | - |
| 1073 | | - // IDAHO |
| 1074 | | - idaho: { |
| 1075 | | - generic: [ |
| 1076 | | - "Idaho? Where the potatoes have more personality than the people.", |
| 1077 | | - "From Idaho? How's living in a state that's just Utah's less interesting sibling?", |
| 1078 | | - "Idaho: Where everyone's either Mormon or hiding from the government.", |
| 1079 | | - "Oh, Idaho? The state where Boise is considered cosmopolitan.", |
| 1080 | | - "Idaho: Where 'diversity' means different types of white supremacists.", |
| 1081 | | - "From Idaho? Let me guess, you've already mentioned potatoes defensively today.", |
| 1082 | | - "Idaho: The only state where California refugees think they're pioneering.", |
| 1083 | | - "Where 'culture' means arguing about gun rights and potato varieties.", |
| 1084 | | - "Idaho: Montana's flatter, more boring cousin.", |
| 1085 | | - "From Idaho? Your state's biggest achievement is not being North Dakota." |
| 1086 | | - ], |
| 1087 | | - boise: [ |
| 1088 | | - "Boise? The city trying to be Denver but with less altitude and more attitude.", |
| 1089 | | - "From Boise? How's that 'hidden gem' status working now that everyone's found it?", |
| 1090 | | - "Boise: Where Californians go to pretend they're rugged individualists.", |
| 1091 | | - "Oh, Boise? The city that's just Salt Lake City without the Olympics or religion.", |
| 1092 | | - "Boise: Where everyone moved for 'quality of life' and brought their traffic with them.", |
| 1093 | | - "From Boise? You definitely complain about newcomers while being one yourself.", |
| 1094 | | - "Boise: The only city where a Whole Foods opening is front-page news.", |
| 1095 | | - "Where 'outdoor lifestyle' means driving your Subaru to a trailhead once a month.", |
| 1096 | | - "Boise: Spokane's more successful, equally forgettable cousin.", |
| 1097 | | - "From Boise? Your city's biggest achievement is being mentioned in a Netflix show once." |
| 1098 | | - ] |
| 1099 | | - }, |
| 1100 | | - |
| 1101 | | - // CANADA |
| 1102 | | - canada: { |
| 1103 | | - generic: [ |
| 1104 | | - "Canada? America's hat that apologizes for existing.", |
| 1105 | | - "From Canada? How's it feel being America's polite upstairs neighbor that everyone forgets about?", |
| 1106 | | - "Canadian? Your entire national identity is 'at least we're not American' and hockey.", |
| 1107 | | - "Oh, Canada? The country that's basically Minnesota with free healthcare.", |
| 1108 | | - "Canada: Where everyone's nice because they're too cold to be mean.", |
| 1109 | | - "From Canada, eh? Sorry, I forgot you existed for a moment there.", |
| 1110 | | - "Canada: The country whose greatest achievement is not being America.", |
| 1111 | | - "Where the national sport is apologizing and the national food is gravy on fries.", |
| 1112 | | - "Canada: America's attic where we store all the nice people.", |
| 1113 | | - "From Canada? Let me guess, you've already said 'sorry' three times today.", |
| 1114 | | - "Canada: Where the money is plastic and so is the personality.", |
| 1115 | | - "The country that's just America with training wheels.", |
| 1116 | | - "Canada: Where everyone's so polite they elected a drama teacher.", |
| 1117 | | - "From Canada? Your country is just snow Mexico.", |
| 1118 | | - "Canada: Because America needed a storage unit." |
| 1119 | | - ], |
| 1120 | | - toronto: [ |
| 1121 | | - "Toronto? The city desperately trying to be New York but with more apologies.", |
| 1122 | | - "From Toronto? The most exciting thing about your city is that Drake mentioned it once.", |
| 1123 | | - "Toronto: Where the rent is Manhattan prices but the culture is suburban mall.", |
| 1124 | | - "Oh, Toronto? Canada's attempt at having a real city.", |
| 1125 | | - "Toronto: Where everyone pretends they're multicultural while living in ethnic enclaves.", |
| 1126 | | - "From Toronto? How's that inferiority complex with every other major city?", |
| 1127 | | - "Toronto: The city that thinks having a CN Tower makes it worldclass.", |
| 1128 | | - "Where 'diversity' means different types of Tim Hortons.", |
| 1129 | | - "Toronto: New York's boring cousin who went to business school.", |
| 1130 | | - "From Toronto? The only city that makes Vancouver look exciting.", |
| 1131 | | - "Toronto: Where everyone works in finance but pretends they're creative.", |
| 1132 | | - "The city where 'culture' means which Drake song is playing.", |
| 1133 | | - "Toronto: Chicago without the personality or good pizza.", |
| 1134 | | - "From Toronto? You definitely tell Americans you're from 'basically New York'.", |
| 1135 | | - "Toronto: Proof that being big doesn't make you interesting." |
| 1136 | | - ], |
| 1137 | | - vancouver: [ |
| 1138 | | - "Vancouver? Where the mountains are beautiful and the people can't afford to look at them.", |
| 1139 | | - "From Vancouver? How's that rain and fentanyl crisis working out?", |
| 1140 | | - "Vancouver: The city where everyone's outdoorsy but too stoned to go outside.", |
| 1141 | | - "Oh, Vancouver? Where foreign real estate money matters more than actual residents.", |
| 1142 | | - "Vancouver: Seattle's even more expensive, even rainier cousin.", |
| 1143 | | - "From Vancouver? The city where everyone's either in film or pretending to be.", |
| 1144 | | - "Vancouver: Where the sushi is great but you'll never own property.", |
| 1145 | | - "The most beautiful city you'll never be able to afford.", |
| 1146 | | - "Vancouver: Where everyone's liberal until you mention bike lanes.", |
| 1147 | | - "From Vancouver? Let me guess, you do yoga and your rent is 90% of your income.", |
| 1148 | | - "Vancouver: Where the homeless have better drugs than the housed.", |
| 1149 | | - "The city where 'No Fun City' isn't a joke, it's a promise.", |
| 1150 | | - "Vancouver: Hong Kong's most expensive suburb.", |
| 1151 | | - "From Vancouver? You definitely have seasonal depression and a weed prescription for it.", |
| 1152 | | - "Vancouver: Proof that natural beauty can't make up for a shit personality." |
| 1153 | | - ], |
| 1154 | | - montreal: [ |
| 1155 | | - "Montreal? The city that thinks speaking French makes it European.", |
| 1156 | | - "From Montreal? How's that superiority complex in two languages?", |
| 1157 | | - "Montreal: Where everyone's rude in French and English.", |
| 1158 | | - "Oh, Montreal? The city that's just Paris with worse weather and poutine.", |
| 1159 | | - "Montreal: Where the roads have more holes than Swiss cheese.", |
| 1160 | | - "From Montreal? Let me guess, you correct people's pronunciation of 'Montreal'.", |
| 1161 | | - "Montreal: The only city where you need to be bilingual to be unemployed.", |
| 1162 | | - "Where every conversation is a language politics debate.", |
| 1163 | | - "Montreal: Toronto's more pretentious, less successful sibling.", |
| 1164 | | - "From Montreal? You definitely smoke cigarettes and think it makes you sophisticated.", |
| 1165 | | - "Montreal: Where the strip clubs outnumber the job opportunities.", |
| 1166 | | - "The city where construction is a season that lasts all year.", |
| 1167 | | - "Montreal: Because Quebec needed a city as difficult as its people.", |
| 1168 | | - "From Montreal? Your city is what happens when France and Detroit have a baby.", |
| 1169 | | - "Montreal: Where everyone's an artist but nobody's making art." |
| 1170 | | - ] |
| 1171 | | - }, |
| 1172 | | - |
| 1173 | | - // UK |
| 1174 | | - uk: { |
| 1175 | | - generic: [ |
| 1176 | | - "The UK? Still pretending the empire exists while your PM changes faster than your weather?", |
| 1177 | | - "British? How's that stiff upper lip holding up with your economy?", |
| 1178 | | - "From the UK? Imagine conquering the world for spices and still eating beans on toast.", |
| 1179 | | - "The UK: Where the weather is gray, the food is beige, and everyone pretends they're fine.", |
| 1180 | | - "British? Your museums are full of stolen goods and your food is stolen from everyone else.", |
| 1181 | | - "From the UK? The country that gave us Shakespeare and now gives us Love Island.", |
| 1182 | | - "The UK: Where everyone's either posh or pretending to be.", |
| 1183 | | - "Where complaining about weather is the national sport.", |
| 1184 | | - "The UK: Desperately clinging to relevance like the last person at a party.", |
| 1185 | | - "From Britain? How's that 'special relationship' with America where we clearly don't think about you?", |
| 1186 | | - "The UK: Where bad teeth is somehow still a personality trait.", |
| 1187 | | - "Your country is just America's elderly parent in a nursing home.", |
| 1188 | | - "The UK: Where everyone's depressed but too polite to mention it.", |
| 1189 | | - "From the UK? You lost an empire and gained a drinking problem.", |
| 1190 | | - "Britain: The country that Brexit'd itself into irrelevance." |
| 1191 | | - ], |
| 1192 | | - london: [ |
| 1193 | | - "London? Where it costs £5 to breathe and the sun is just a myth parents tell their children.", |
| 1194 | | - "From London? Must be nice living in a museum that charges admission to exist.", |
| 1195 | | - "London: Where everyone's either a banker, a banker pretending to be an artist, or actually broke.", |
| 1196 | | - "Oh, London? The city where stabbing replaced tea as the national pastime.", |
| 1197 | | - "London: New York for people who think seasoning is spicy.", |
| 1198 | | - "From London? How's that £8 pint and pretending the Tube isn't hell?", |
| 1199 | | - "London: Where the history is ancient and the prices are from the future.", |
| 1200 | | - "The city where 'affordable housing' is a comedy genre.", |
| 1201 | | - "London: Where everyone's worldly but can't point to Wales on a map.", |
| 1202 | | - "From London? The only city where people pay millions to live in a shoebox and call it 'charming'.", |
| 1203 | | - "London: Where the fog is gone but the depression remains.", |
| 1204 | | - "The city where everyone's in finance but pretends they're in 'consultancy'.", |
| 1205 | | - "London: Where knife crime is so bad, even the food is stabbing you.", |
| 1206 | | - "From London? You definitely complain about tourists while being one everywhere else.", |
| 1207 | | - "London: Proof that money can't buy sunshine or happiness." |
| 3701 | + // INTERNATIONAL EXPANSIONS |
| 3702 | + |
| 3703 | + // BRAZIL |
| 3704 | + brazil: { |
| 3705 | + generic: [ |
| 3706 | + "Brazil? Where the government is more corrupt than a deleted hard drive.", |
| 3707 | + "From Brazil? How's living in a country where off-duty cops are the most dangerous people?", |
| 3708 | + "Brazil: Where everyone's either on the beach or getting robbed on the way there.", |
| 3709 | + "Oh, Brazil? The country that spent billions on Olympics while people live in favelas.", |
| 3710 | + "Brazil: Where 'come to Brazil' is a threat, not an invitation.", |
| 3711 | + "From Brazil? Let me guess, you're moving to Portugal as soon as possible.", |
| 3712 | + "Brazil: The only country where flip-flops are business casual.", |
| 3713 | + "Where everyone's beautiful until they open their mouth about politics.", |
| 3714 | + "Brazil: Proof that natural resources can't overcome human corruption.", |
| 3715 | + "From Brazil? Your country's biggest export is people pretending to be Portuguese." |
| 1208 | 3716 | ], |
| 1209 | | - manchester: [ |
| 1210 | | - "Manchester? London's cheaper, rainier, more depressing cousin.", |
| 1211 | | - "From Manchester? How's it feel being the Detroit of England?", |
| 1212 | | - "Manchester: Where the music scene peaked in the 80s and so did everything else.", |
| 1213 | | - "Oh, Manchester? The city whose greatest achievement is not being Liverpool.", |
| 1214 | | - "Manchester: Where everyone's either a Man U or Man City fan with no personality beyond that.", |
| 1215 | | - "From Manchester? Let me guess, you tell people you're from 'basically London'.", |
| 1216 | | - "Manchester: The city where rain is a personality trait.", |
| 1217 | | - "Where everyone thinks they're hard but cries about London prices.", |
| 1218 | | - "Manchester: Proof that the Industrial Revolution was a mistake.", |
| 1219 | | - "From Manchester? You definitely own a Stone Roses album you've never listened to.", |
| 1220 | | - "Manchester: Where 'Madchester' is dead but nobody told the locals.", |
| 1221 | | - "The city where everyone's 'proper buzzin' about mediocrity.", |
| 1222 | | - "Manchester: Because Northern England needed a capital of sadness.", |
| 1223 | | - "From Manchester? Your accent makes you sound like you're permanently drunk.", |
| 1224 | | - "Manchester: What happens when you give up on life but still need somewhere to live." |
| 1225 | | - ] |
| 1226 | | - }, |
| 1227 | | - |
| 1228 | | - // AUSTRALIA |
| 1229 | | - australia: { |
| 1230 | | - generic: [ |
| 1231 | | - "Australia? An entire continent of deadly animals and people who think Vegemite is food.", |
| 1232 | | - "From Australia? Everything there tries to kill you and you're worried about drop bears?", |
| 1233 | | - "Australian? Your country is just Texas with healthcare and more dangerous wildlife.", |
| 1234 | | - "Oh, Australia? The place where 'mate' means friend but sounds like a threat.", |
| 1235 | | - "Australia: Where the internet is slower than the spiders are fast.", |
| 1236 | | - "From Down Under? How's it feel being upside down and irrelevant?", |
| 1237 | | - "Australia: British Texas with better beaches and worse internet.", |
| 1238 | | - "Where everything's trying to kill you except the healthcare system.", |
| 1239 | | - "Australia: Proof that Britain used to just dump their problems on islands.", |
| 1240 | | - "From Australia? The only country where 'deadly' is a compliment.", |
| 1241 | | - "Australia: Where casual racism is a national sport.", |
| 1242 | | - "The country that's just a desert with a drinking problem.", |
| 1243 | | - "Australia: Where 'cultured' means you've been to Bali.", |
| 1244 | | - "From Australia? Your entire culture is barbecues and casual alcoholism.", |
| 1245 | | - "Australia: The Florida of continents." |
| 1246 | | - ], |
| 1247 | | - sydney: [ |
| 1248 | | - "Sydney? Melbourne's attention-seeking sibling with an opera house.", |
| 1249 | | - "From Sydney? How's that harbor view from the apartment you'll never afford?", |
| 1250 | | - "Sydney: Where the beaches are perfect and the people are insufferable.", |
| 1251 | | - "Oh, Sydney? The city that thinks having a bridge makes it special.", |
| 1252 | | - "Sydney: Los Angeles with more sharks and worse traffic.", |
| 1253 | | - "From Sydney? The only city where lockout laws killed the nightlife faster than COVID.", |
| 1254 | | - "Sydney: Where everyone's a 'property investor' living with their parents.", |
| 1255 | | - "Beautiful beaches, ugly attitudes.", |
| 1256 | | - "Sydney: Where the coffee's good but Melbourne's is better and everyone knows it.", |
| 1257 | | - "From Sydney? The city where 'culture' means which beach you go to.", |
| 1258 | | - "Sydney: Where the Opera House is the only culture you'll find.", |
| 1259 | | - "The city where everyone's superficial and the harbor's not even that nice.", |
| 1260 | | - "Sydney: Australia's most American city and that's not a compliment.", |
| 1261 | | - "From Sydney? You definitely can't swim but Instagram at the beach.", |
| 1262 | | - "Sydney: Proof that natural beauty can't fix a shit personality." |
| 1263 | | - ], |
| 1264 | | - melbourne: [ |
| 1265 | | - "Melbourne? The city that won't shut up about its coffee and laneways.", |
| 1266 | | - "From Melbourne? How's that unpredictable weather and predictable snobbery?", |
| 1267 | | - "Melbourne: Where everyone's a barista with a master's degree.", |
| 1268 | | - "Oh, Melbourne? Sydney's insecure sibling who read a book once.", |
| 1269 | | - "Melbourne: Where four seasons in one day is a personality trait.", |
| 1270 | | - "From Melbourne? Let me guess, you've already mentioned how it's more 'cultural' than Sydney.", |
| 1271 | | - "Melbourne: The city where everyone's in a band no one's heard of.", |
| 1272 | | - "Where wearing black is mandatory and smiling is optional.", |
| 1273 | | - "Melbourne: Portland before Portland was Portland.", |
| 1274 | | - "From Melbourne? The only city where being pretentious is considered authentic.", |
| 1275 | | - "Melbourne: Where the coffee's good but the people are bitter.", |
| 1276 | | - "The city where 'culture' means knowing which laneway has the best graffiti.", |
| 1277 | | - "Melbourne: Proof that being alternative is just another form of conformity.", |
| 1278 | | - "From Melbourne? You definitely have opinions about coffee temperature.", |
| 1279 | | - "Melbourne: Where everyone's depressed but at least the coffee's good." |
| 1280 | | - ], |
| 1281 | | - brisbane: [ |
| 1282 | | - "Brisbane? Sydney and Melbourne's boring cousin who nobody invites to parties.", |
| 1283 | | - "From Brisbane? How's it feel living in Australia's waiting room?", |
| 1284 | | - "Brisbane: Where the weather's nice but that's literally it.", |
| 1285 | | - "Oh, Brisbane? The city that makes Adelaide look exciting.", |
| 1286 | | - "Brisbane: Where everyone's either a bogan or pretending they're from Sydney.", |
| 1287 | | - "From Brisbane? Let me guess, you tell people you're from 'near the Gold Coast'.", |
| 1288 | | - "Brisbane: The city that exists because Australia needed a capital of mediocrity.", |
| 1289 | | - "Where the river's brown and so are the people's teeth.", |
| 1290 | | - "Brisbane: Proof that perfect weather can't fix a boring personality.", |
| 1291 | | - "From Brisbane? You definitely have a Southern Cross tattoo you regret.", |
| 1292 | | - "Brisbane: Where culture goes to die in the humidity.", |
| 1293 | | - "The city where XXXX is considered craft beer.", |
| 1294 | | - "Brisbane: Gold Coast's ugly older sibling.", |
| 1295 | | - "From Brisbane? Your city is what happens when a suburb gets delusions of grandeur.", |
| 1296 | | - "Brisbane: Because even Australia needs a place to be boring." |
| 1297 | | - ] |
| 1298 | | - }, |
| 1299 | | - |
| 1300 | | - // PENNSYLVANIA |
| 1301 | | - pennsylvania: { |
| 1302 | | - generic: [ |
| 1303 | | - "Pennsylvania? Where the state bird is a pothole and the state flower is road rage.", |
| 1304 | | - "From Pennsylvania? How's living in a state that's just Ohio with worse sports teams?", |
| 1305 | | - "Pennsylvania: Where the history is rich, but the economy is poorer than a church mouse.", |
| 1306 | | - "Oh, Pennsylvania? The state that's half Philly cheesesteak and half Amish buggy.", |
| 1307 | | - "Pennsylvania: Where the weather can't decide if it's winter or misery.", |
| 1308 | | - "From PA? Let me guess, you've already argued about whether it's 'soda' or 'pop' today.", |
| 1309 | | - "Pennsylvania: The only state where coal mines and hipster breweries fight for relevance.", |
| 1310 | | - "Where everyone's either from Philly, Pittsburgh, or a cornfield haunted by despair.", |
| 1311 | | - "Pennsylvania: Proof that you can have founding fathers and still fail at progress.", |
| 1312 | | - "From Pennsylvania? Your state's biggest export is disappointment and outdated voter maps." |
| 1313 | | - ], |
| 1314 | | - philadelphia: [ |
| 1315 | | - "Philly? The city where throwing batteries at Santa is considered a cultural tradition.", |
| 1316 | | - "From Philadelphia? How's that brotherly love working out with all the fistfights at Eagles games?", |
| 1317 | | - "Philadelphia: Where the Liberty Bell is cracked and so is the city's spirit.", |
| 1318 | | - "Oh, Philly? The city that greases poles to stop riots but can't grease the wheels of progress.", |
| 1319 | | - "Philadelphia: Where every cheesesteak comes with a side of generational trauma.", |
| 1320 | | - "From Philly? Let me guess, you've already yelled 'Go Birds' at a stranger today.", |
| 1321 | | - "Philly: The only city where grit is both a compliment and a health hazard.", |
| 1322 | | - "Where 'historic' just means your infrastructure is falling apart with extra character.", |
| 1323 | | - "Philadelphia: Boston's angrier, less educated cousin with worse accents.", |
| 1324 | | - "From Philadelphia? Your city's idea of romance is sharing a hoagie on a stoop." |
| 1325 | | - ], |
| 1326 | | - pittsburgh: [ |
| 1327 | | - "Pittsburgh? The city that smells like rust and dreams that died in the 80s.", |
| 1328 | | - "From Pittsburgh? How's living in a place that's just Detroit with more bridges?", |
| 1329 | | - "Pittsburgh: Where the steel left, but the depression stayed forever.", |
| 1330 | | - "Oh, Pittsburgh? The city where every sports fan wears black and yellow like a warning label.", |
| 1331 | | - "Pittsburgh: Where the rivers meet, but opportunity flowed away decades ago.", |
| 1332 | | - "From Pittsburgh? Let me guess, you've got a 'yinzer' accent and zero job prospects.", |
| 1333 | | - "Pittsburgh: The only city where 'up and coming' has meant 'still terrible' for 30 years.", |
| 1334 | | - "Where every neighborhood is either gentrified or looks like a zombie apocalypse set.", |
| 1335 | | - "Pittsburgh: Cleveland's slightly less depressing twin with extra inclines.", |
| 1336 | | - "From Pittsburgh? Your city's biggest flex is surviving winters that would break lesser souls." |
| 1337 | | - ] |
| 1338 | | - }, |
| 1339 | | - |
| 1340 | | - // ARIZONA |
| 1341 | | - arizona: { |
| 1342 | | - generic: [ |
| 1343 | | - "Arizona? Where it's so hot, even the cacti are begging for mercy.", |
| 1344 | | - "From Arizona? How's living in a state that's just a retirement home with scorpions?", |
| 1345 | | - "Arizona: Where the Grand Canyon is majestic, but the politics are a gaping void of despair.", |
| 1346 | | - "Oh, Arizona? The state where 110°F is a 'cool day' and sanity is optional.", |
| 1347 | | - "Arizona: Where everyone's either a snowbird or a sunburned regret.", |
| 1348 | | - "From Arizona? Let me guess, you've already bragged about not needing a coat in January.", |
| 1349 | | - "Arizona: The only state where water is a myth and denial is a river.", |
| 1350 | | - "Where your backyard is a desert, and your future is just as barren.", |
| 1351 | | - "Arizona: Proof that you can cook an egg on the sidewalk and still mess up elections.", |
| 1352 | | - "From Arizona? Your state's idea of culture is a gun show with extra tumbleweeds." |
| 1353 | | - ], |
| 1354 | | - phoenix: [ |
| 1355 | | - "Phoenix? The city that rises from the ashes just to get scorched again by 120°F heat.", |
| 1356 | | - "From Phoenix? How's living in a place where the pavement melts your soul before your shoes?", |
| 1357 | | - "Phoenix: Where urban sprawl is an art form, and shade is a luxury item.", |
| 1358 | | - "Oh, Phoenix? The city that's just a sprawling oven with traffic jams as seasoning.", |
| 1359 | | - "Phoenix: Where everyone's either escaping winter or escaping reality.", |
| 1360 | | - "From Phoenix? Let me guess, you've already complained about monsoon dust storms this week.", |
| 1361 | | - "Phoenix: The only city where 'dry heat' is a lie you tell yourself to survive.", |
| 1362 | | - "Where every summer feels like a personal vendetta from the sun itself.", |
| 1363 | | - "Phoenix: Las Vegas's less fun, more sweaty sibling with no gambling payoff.", |
| 1364 | | - "From Phoenix? Your city's biggest achievement is not bursting into flames… yet." |
| 1365 | | - ], |
| 1366 | | - tucson: [ |
| 1367 | | - "Tucson? The city that's just Phoenix's weird, artsy cousin who forgot to leave the 70s.", |
| 1368 | | - "From Tucson? How's it feel living in Arizona's forgotten stepchild with extra saguaros?", |
| 1369 | | - "Tucson: Where the heat is oppressive, but the hipster vibes are somehow more suffocating.", |
| 1370 | | - "Oh, Tucson? The city that thinks being 'quirky' makes up for being irrelevant.", |
| 1371 | | - "Tucson: Where everyone's either a college kid or a retiree waiting to expire.", |
| 1372 | | - "From Tucson? Let me guess, you've got a tie-dye shirt and a story about a desert rave.", |
| 1373 | | - "Tucson: The only city where 'culture' means overpriced tacos and underfunded schools.", |
| 1374 | | - "Where the mountains are pretty, but the job market is uglier than sin.", |
| 1375 | | - "Tucson: Phoenix's less ambitious sibling who settled for mediocrity and heatstroke.", |
| 1376 | | - "From Tucson? Your city's claim to fame is being slightly less unbearable than Phoenix." |
| 1377 | | - ] |
| 1378 | | - }, |
| 1379 | | - |
| 1380 | | - // GEORGIA |
| 1381 | | - georgia: { |
| 1382 | | - generic: [ |
| 1383 | | - "Georgia? Where the peaches are sweet, but the humidity is a bitter slap to the face.", |
| 1384 | | - "From Georgia? How's living in a state that's just Florida with more Confederate flags?", |
| 1385 | | - "Georgia: Where Southern hospitality means smiling while judging your every move.", |
| 1386 | | - "Oh, Georgia? The state where it's 90°F in April and voter suppression is year-round.", |
| 1387 | | - "Georgia: Where sweet tea is a religion, and unsweetened is blasphemy.", |
| 1388 | | - "From Georgia? Let me guess, you've already said 'bless your heart' as an insult today.", |
| 1389 | | - "Georgia: The only state where traffic jams and church sermons last equally long.", |
| 1390 | | - "Where everyone's either in Atlanta or pretending they've never heard of it.", |
| 1391 | | - "Georgia: Proof that you can have a booming film industry and still mess up elections.", |
| 1392 | | - "From Georgia? Your state's biggest achievement is being the South's slightly less embarrassing kid." |
| 1393 | | - ], |
| 1394 | | - atlanta: [ |
| 1395 | | - "Atlanta? The city that's just a giant airport with a side of traffic nightmares.", |
| 1396 | | - "From Atlanta? How's it feel being the South's wannabe New York with extra sprawl?", |
| 1397 | | - "Atlanta: Where the hip-hop is fire, but the commute will burn your soul to ash.", |
| 1398 | | - "Oh, Atlanta? The city where 'Hotlanta' refers to the heat and the road rage.", |
| 1399 | | - "Atlanta: Where everyone's either a rapper, a tech bro, or stuck in traffic on I-285.", |
| 1400 | | - "From Atlanta? Let me guess, you've already name-dropped a celebrity you've never met.", |
| 1401 | | - "Atlanta: The only city where 'Southern charm' means cutting you off in a Mercedes.", |
| 1402 | | - "Where gentrification moves faster than the MARTA ever will.", |
| 1403 | | - "Atlanta: Houston's smaller, louder cousin with worse public transit.", |
| 1404 | | - "From Atlanta? Your city's biggest flex is hosting the Olympics once and never shutting up about it." |
| 1405 | | - ], |
| 1406 | | - savannah: [ |
| 1407 | | - "Savannah? The city that's just a postcard of mossy trees and haunted regrets.", |
| 1408 | | - "From Savannah? How's it feel living in Georgia's creepy, overpriced history museum?", |
| 1409 | | - "Savannah: Where the ghosts are more interesting than the living, and twice as friendly.", |
| 1410 | | - "Oh, Savannah? The city where Southern Gothic isn't just a vibe, it's the zoning code.", |
| 1411 | | - "Savannah: Where everyone's either a tour guide or a tourist who never left.", |
| 1412 | | - "From Savannah? Let me guess, you've already told a ghost story to impress someone.", |
| 1413 | | - "Savannah: The only city where 'charm' means overcharging for sweet tea and bad accents.", |
| 1414 | | - "Where history is preserved, but progress died on the vine a century ago.", |
| 1415 | | - "Savannah: Charleston's less pretentious, more humid sibling with extra spirits.", |
| 1416 | | - "From Savannah? Your city's idea of modern is a trolley tour with Wi-Fi." |
| 1417 | | - ] |
| 1418 | | - }, |
| 1419 | | - |
| 1420 | | - // LOUISIANA |
| 1421 | | - louisiana: { |
| 1422 | | - generic: [ |
| 1423 | | - "Louisiana? Where the gumbo is spicy, but the corruption is spicier.", |
| 1424 | | - "From Louisiana? How's living in a state that's just a swamp with a drinking problem?", |
| 1425 | | - "Louisiana: Where the Cajun culture is rich, but the infrastructure is dirt poor.", |
| 1426 | | - "Oh, Louisiana? The state where hurricanes hit harder than the reality of your economy.", |
| 1427 | | - "Louisiana: Where every road is a flood zone, and every politician is a scandal waiting to happen.", |
| 1428 | | - "From Louisiana? Let me guess, you've already bragged about Mardi Gras like you invented it.", |
| 1429 | | - "Louisiana: The only state where 'sea level rise' is a personal threat, not a theory.", |
| 1430 | | - "Where everyone's either cooking crawfish or cooking the books.", |
| 1431 | | - "Louisiana: Proof that you can have French flair and still be a hot mess.", |
| 1432 | | - "From Louisiana? Your state's biggest export is jazz and questionable life choices." |
| 1433 | | - ], |
| 1434 | | - new_orleans: [ |
| 1435 | | - "New Orleans? The city where the party never stops, but recovery always does.", |
| 1436 | | - "From New Orleans? How's it feel living in a place that's half underwater, half under the influence?", |
| 1437 | | - "New Orleans: Where Bourbon Street smells like regret and beignets can't fix everything.", |
| 1438 | | - "Oh, NOLA? The city where 'culture' means jazz funerals for your hopes and dreams.", |
| 1439 | | - "New Orleans: Where everyone's either a musician or a tourist trap hustler.", |
| 1440 | | - "From New Orleans? Let me guess, you've already flashed someone for plastic beads this year.", |
| 1441 | | - "New Orleans: The only city where Katrina is still the elephant in every flooded room.", |
| 1442 | | - "Where 'resilience' means rebuilding the same broken levee with extra prayers.", |
| 1443 | | - "New Orleans: Miami's grittier, drunker cousin with better music.", |
| 1444 | | - "From New Orleans? Your city's biggest flex is surviving disasters that would break lesser souls." |
| 1445 | | - ], |
| 1446 | | - baton_rouge: [ |
| 1447 | | - "Baton Rouge? The city that's just New Orleans' boring, bureaucratic sibling.", |
| 1448 | | - "From Baton Rouge? How's it feel living in Louisiana's most forgettable capital?", |
| 1449 | | - "Baton Rouge: Where the only thing redder than the stick is the state's budget deficit.", |
| 1450 | | - "Oh, Baton Rouge? The city that exists to remind you government jobs can be soul-crushing.", |
| 1451 | | - "Baton Rouge: Where everyone's either at LSU or wishing they were anywhere else.", |
| 1452 | | - "From Baton Rouge? Let me guess, you've already tailgated harder than you've ever worked.", |
| 1453 | | - "Baton Rouge: The only city where 'culture' means overcooked jambalaya at a chain restaurant.", |
| 1454 | | - "Where the river is pretty, but the charm sank to the bottom long ago.", |
| 1455 | | - "Baton Rouge: New Orleans' less fun, more humid shadow with extra paperwork.", |
| 1456 | | - "From Baton Rouge? Your city's idea of excitement is a traffic jam on game day." |
| 1457 | | - ] |
| 1458 | | - }, |
| 1459 | | - |
| 1460 | | - // OHIO |
| 1461 | | - ohio: { |
| 1462 | | - generic: [ |
| 1463 | | - "Ohio? Where the only thing flatter than the land is the state's personality.", |
| 1464 | | - "From Ohio? How's living in a state that's just a rest stop between places people actually want to be?", |
| 1465 | | - "Ohio: Where the cornfields are endless, and so is the existential dread.", |
| 1466 | | - "Oh, Ohio? The state where 'swing state' means swinging between despair and mediocrity.", |
| 1467 | | - "Ohio: Where everyone's either a Buckeye fan or a bitter Michigan reject.", |
| 1468 | | - "From Ohio? Let me guess, you've already argued about chili on spaghetti like it's a gourmet debate.", |
| 1469 | | - "Ohio: The only state where 'industry' means rusted factories and broken dreams.", |
| 1470 | | - "Where every small town looks the same, and every big city wishes it wasn't there.", |
| 1471 | | - "Ohio: Proof that you can be in the middle of everything and still mean nothing.", |
| 1472 | | - "From Ohio? Your state's biggest achievement is being the punchline of Midwest jokes." |
| 1473 | | - ], |
| 1474 | | - cleveland: [ |
| 1475 | | - "Cleveland? The city where the river caught fire, and so did any hope for the future.", |
| 1476 | | - "From Cleveland? How's it feel living in a place that's just Detroit with worse PR?", |
| 1477 | | - "Cleveland: Where the Browns are a metaphor for every life choice you've ever made.", |
| 1478 | | - "Oh, Cleveland? The city that's 'up and coming' since the 1800s and still waiting.", |
| 1479 | | - "Cleveland: Where everyone's either leaving or stuck in a snowbank of despair.", |
| 1480 | | - "From Cleveland? Let me guess, you've already defended the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame like it's a personality.", |
| 1481 | | - "Cleveland: The only city where 'waterfront' means a lake that's more pollution than water.", |
| 1482 | | - "Where 'pride' means rooting for teams that lose harder than your economy.", |
| 1483 | | - "Cleveland: Pittsburgh's sadder, colder cousin with less steel and more tears.", |
| 1484 | | - "From Cleveland? Your city's biggest flex is surviving winters and jokes about burning rivers." |
| 1485 | | - ], |
| 1486 | | - cincinnati: [ |
| 1487 | | - "Cincinnati? The city that's just Cleveland's slightly less depressing sibling.", |
| 1488 | | - "From Cincinnati? How's it feel living in a place that's half Ohio, half Kentucky, and all regret?", |
| 1489 | | - "Cincinnati: Where chili on spaghetti is a war crime you call heritage.", |
| 1490 | | - "Oh, Cincinnati? The city that thinks being near a river makes it a destination.", |
| 1491 | | - "Cincinnati: Where everyone's either a Bengals fan or pretending they're from somewhere cooler.", |
| 1492 | | - "From Cincinnati? Let me guess, you've already argued about Skyline vs. Gold Star like it matters.", |
| 1493 | | - "Cincinnati: The only city where 'culture' means overpriced chili and worse beer.", |
| 1494 | | - "Where the hills are steep, but the ambition is flatter than the Midwest.", |
| 1495 | | - "Cincinnati: Cleveland's warmer, less relevant twin with extra pork.", |
| 1496 | | - "From Cincinnati? Your city's idea of progress is a streetcar nobody uses." |
| 1497 | | - ] |
| 1498 | | - }, |
| 1499 | | - |
| 1500 | | - // WISCONSIN |
| 1501 | | - wisconsin: { |
| 1502 | | - generic: [ |
| 1503 | | - "Wisconsin? Where the cheese is sharper than the state's future prospects.", |
| 1504 | | - "From Wisconsin? How's living in a state that's just Minnesota with more beer belly?", |
| 1505 | | - "Wisconsin: Where the winters are brutal, and the Packers obsession is crueler.", |
| 1506 | | - "Oh, Wisconsin? The state where 'dairy' means pride and heart disease in equal measure.", |
| 1507 | | - "Wisconsin: Where everyone's either a cheesehead or a drunk pretending to fish.", |
| 1508 | | - "From Wisconsin? Let me guess, you've already bragged about Lambeau Field like it's the Vatican.", |
| 1509 | | - "Wisconsin: The only state where 'supper club' is a cultural institution and a cry for help.", |
| 1510 | | - "Where every lake is pretty, but every job market is uglier than sin.", |
| 1511 | | - "Wisconsin: Proof that you can deep-fry everything and still be irrelevant.", |
| 1512 | | - "From Wisconsin? Your state's biggest export is cheddar and seasonal depression." |
| 1513 | | - ], |
| 1514 | | - milwaukee: [ |
| 1515 | | - "Milwaukee? The city that's just Chicago's forgotten, drunker little brother.", |
| 1516 | | - "From Milwaukee? How's it feel living in a place where beer is cheaper than ambition?", |
| 1517 | | - "Milwaukee: Where the Brewers brew disappointment stronger than any lager.", |
| 1518 | | - "Oh, Milwaukee? The city that peaked with Laverne & Shirley and never recovered.", |
| 1519 | | - "Milwaukee: Where everyone's either at a bar or recovering from last night's bar.", |
| 1520 | | - "From Milwaukee? Let me guess, you've already mentioned Harley-Davidson like it's still relevant.", |
| 1521 | | - "Milwaukee: The only city where 'lakefront' means frozen despair half the year.", |
| 1522 | | - "Where 'culture' means cheese curds and polka at a festival nobody attends.", |
| 1523 | | - "Milwaukee: Chicago's less successful, more pickled cousin with extra brats.", |
| 1524 | | - "From Milwaukee? Your city's biggest flex is surviving winters with a liver made of steel." |
| 1525 | | - ], |
| 1526 | | - madison: [ |
| 1527 | | - "Madison? The city that's just Wisconsin's liberal oasis in a desert of despair.", |
| 1528 | | - "From Madison? How's it feel living in a college town where idealism goes to die?", |
| 1529 | | - "Madison: Where the lakes are beautiful, but the rent will drown you faster.", |
| 1530 | | - "Oh, Madison? The city that thinks being progressive makes up for being irrelevant.", |
| 1531 | | - "Madison: Where everyone's either a student or a bureaucrat with a bike they never ride.", |
| 1532 | | - "From Madison? Let me guess, you've already bragged about the farmer's market like it's Paris.", |
| 1533 | | - "Madison: The only city where 'culture' means overpriced cheese and undercooked activism.", |
| 1534 | | - "Where the capitol is pretty, but the job prospects are uglier than a badger's den.", |
| 1535 | | - "Madison: Milwaukee's snobbier, less fun sibling with extra flannel.", |
| 1536 | | - "From Madison? Your city's idea of rebellion is a protest with gluten-free snacks." |
| 1537 | | - ] |
| 1538 | | - }, |
| 1539 | | - |
| 1540 | | - // NEVADA |
| 1541 | | - nevada: { |
| 1542 | | - generic: [ |
| 1543 | | - "Nevada? Where the desert is vast, and the life choices are vaster.", |
| 1544 | | - "From Nevada? How's living in a state that's just a gambling den with extra tumbleweeds?", |
| 1545 | | - "Nevada: Where Sin City is the star, and everywhere else is a forgotten blackjack table.", |
| 1546 | | - "Oh, Nevada? The state where 'what happens here, stays here' includes your dignity.", |
| 1547 | | - "Nevada: Where everyone's either a dealer, a dreamer, or a desert hermit.", |
| 1548 | | - "From Nevada? Let me guess, you've already lost more than money in Vegas this year.", |
| 1549 | | - "Nevada: The only state where legal brothels outshine legal opportunities.", |
| 1550 | | - "Where the landscape is barren, and so is the hope for a stable future.", |
| 1551 | | - "Nevada: Proof that you can build an economy on bad decisions and still lose.", |
| 1552 | | - "From Nevada? Your state's biggest export is regret and overpriced buffets." |
| 1553 | | - ], |
| 1554 | | - las_vegas: [ |
| 1555 | | - "Las Vegas? The city where dreams go to gamble away their last dime.", |
| 1556 | | - "From Vegas? How's it feel living in a neon mirage built on broken bank accounts?", |
| 1557 | | - "Las Vegas: Where the Strip shines brighter than any chance of financial recovery.", |
| 1558 | | - "Oh, Vegas? The city where 'jackpot' means losing your house but winning a free drink.", |
| 1559 | | - "Las Vegas: Where everyone's either a tourist, a hustler, or a has-been performer.", |
| 1560 | | - "From Vegas? Let me guess, you've already married a stranger in a chapel run by Elvis.", |
| 1561 | | - "Las Vegas: The only city where 'all-inclusive' means including your personal ruin.", |
| 1562 | | - "Where 'entertainment' means watching your savings disappear faster than a magic act.", |
| 1563 | | - "Las Vegas: Phoenix's flashier, more reckless cousin with extra slot machines.", |
| 1564 | | - "From Vegas? Your city's biggest flex is turning vice into a tourist attraction." |
| 1565 | | - ], |
| 1566 | | - reno: [ |
| 1567 | | - "Reno? The city that's just Las Vegas' sad, discounted little sibling.", |
| 1568 | | - "From Reno? How's it feel living in a place that's 'Vegas Lite' without the charm?", |
| 1569 | | - "Reno: Where the casinos are smaller, but the desperation is just as big.", |
| 1570 | | - "Oh, Reno? The city that thinks being near Tahoe makes up for being irrelevant.", |
| 1571 | | - "Reno: Where everyone's either a gambler on a budget or a burnout on parole.", |
| 1572 | | - "From Reno? Let me guess, you've already called it 'the biggest little city' unironically.", |
| 1573 | | - "Reno: The only city where 'divorce capital' was a brag before Vegas stole the spotlight.", |
| 1574 | | - "Where the mountains are pretty, but the prospects are uglier than a busted slot machine.", |
| 1575 | | - "Reno: Las Vegas' washed-up cousin who settled for second-rate neon.", |
| 1576 | | - "From Reno? Your city's idea of excitement is a pawn shop with a view." |
| 1577 | | - ] |
| 1578 | | - }, |
| 1579 | | - |
| 1580 | | - // INTERNATIONAL LOCATIONS - MORE ADDITIONS |
| 1581 | | - germany: { |
| 1582 | | - generic: [ |
| 1583 | | - "Germany? Where efficiency is a religion, but customer service is a sin.", |
| 1584 | | - "From Germany? How's it feel being the country that's always sorry for something?", |
| 1585 | | - "Germany: Where the beer is world-class, but the humor is drier than the Sahara.", |
| 1586 | | - "Oh, Germany? The nation that runs like a machine but feels like a bureaucracy.", |
| 1587 | | - "Germany: Where rules are sacred, and smiling is suspicious activity.", |
| 1588 | | - "From Germany? Let me guess, you've already corrected someone's grammar today.", |
| 1589 | | - "Germany: The only country where being on time is a flex, and tardiness is a felony.", |
| 1590 | | - "Where history is heavy, and the guilt is heavier than a Black Forest cake.", |
| 1591 | | - "Germany: Proof that you can engineer everything except a sense of fun.", |
| 1592 | | - "From Germany? Your country's idea of excitement is a perfectly sorted recycling bin." |
| 1593 | | - ], |
| 1594 | | - berlin: [ |
| 1595 | | - "Berlin? The city where being broke is trendy, and rent is a cruel joke.", |
| 1596 | | - "From Berlin? How's that techno-fueled existential crisis working out?", |
| 1597 | | - "Berlin: Where history collides with hipsters, and both lose miserably.", |
| 1598 | | - "Oh, Berlin? The city that's cooler than you but won't let you forget it.", |
| 1599 | | - "Berlin: Where every wall has a story, and every artist has a side hustle.", |
| 1600 | | - "From Berlin? Let me guess, you've already name-dropped a club you couldn't get into.", |
| 1601 | | - "Berlin: The only city where vegan kebabs are a cultural staple, and sleep is optional.", |
| 1602 | | - "Where 'edgy' means living in a squat with Wi-Fi and daddy's credit card.", |
| 1603 | | - "Berlin: Europe's grungy playground where dreams go to party and die.", |
| 1604 | | - "From Berlin? Your city's biggest flex is being broke in 17 different languages." |
| 1605 | | - ], |
| 1606 | | - munich: [ |
| 1607 | | - "Munich? The city where beer costs less than water, and tradition costs your soul.", |
| 1608 | | - "From Munich? How's it feel living in Germany's most expensive theme park?", |
| 1609 | | - "Munich: Where Oktoberfest is a lifestyle, and lederhosen are business casual.", |
| 1610 | | - "Oh, Munich? The city that's just Bavaria's cash cow with extra pretzels.", |
| 1611 | | - "Munich: Where everyone's either a tech bro or a tourist trap victim.", |
| 1612 | | - "From Munich? Let me guess, you've already bragged about BMWs and beer tents.", |
| 1613 | | - "Munich: The only city where wealth and kitsch hold hands in perfect harmony.", |
| 1614 | | - "Where 'culture' means overpaying for sausage while wearing a silly hat.", |
| 1615 | | - "Munich: Berlin's posh, boring uncle who thinks fun is overrated.", |
| 1616 | | - "From Munich? Your city's idea of rebellion is jaywalking in a quiet suburb." |
| 1617 | | - ] |
| 1618 | | - }, |
| 1619 | | - |
| 1620 | | - japan: { |
| 1621 | | - generic: [ |
| 1622 | | - "Japan? Where politeness is mandatory, but personal space is a fantasy.", |
| 1623 | | - "From Japan? How's living in a country where bowing is an Olympic sport?", |
| 1624 | | - "Japan: Where the tech is futuristic, but the work culture is stuck in the feudal era.", |
| 1625 | | - "Oh, Japan? The nation that gave us sushi and soul-crushing overtime in equal measure.", |
| 1626 | | - "Japan: Where everything's kawaii until you miss the last train home.", |
| 1627 | | - "From Japan? Let me guess, you've already apologized for something that's not your fault.", |
| 1628 | | - "Japan: The only country where vending machines outnumber human emotions.", |
| 1629 | | - "Where tradition and innovation fight daily, and exhaustion always wins.", |
| 1630 | | - "Japan: Proof that you can be the best at everything and still be miserable.", |
| 1631 | | - "From Japan? Your country's biggest export is anime and quiet desperation." |
| 1632 | | - ], |
| 1633 | | - tokyo: [ |
| 1634 | | - "Tokyo? The city where 38 million people live in perfect, polite chaos.", |
| 1635 | | - "From Tokyo? How's it feel being packed into a train like a sardine with a salary?", |
| 1636 | | - "Tokyo: Where neon lights shine brighter than any hope for work-life balance.", |
| 1637 | | - "Oh, Tokyo? The city that's a cyberpunk dystopia with better ramen.", |
| 1638 | | - "Tokyo: Where everyone's rushing somewhere, but nobody's actually going anywhere.", |
| 1639 | | - "From Tokyo? Let me guess, you've already spent half your paycheck on tiny apartments.", |
| 1640 | | - "Tokyo: The only city where a closet-sized home is a status symbol, not a punishment.", |
| 1641 | | - "Where 'unique' means wearing a school uniform at 40 for no reason at all.", |
| 1642 | | - "Tokyo: New York's overachieving cousin with extra vending machines and less sleep.", |
| 1643 | | - "From Tokyo? Your city's idea of relaxation is a cat cafe during a 15-minute break." |
| 1644 | | - ], |
| 1645 | | - osaka: [ |
| 1646 | | - "Osaka? The city that's just Tokyo's louder, hungrier, less polite sibling.", |
| 1647 | | - "From Osaka? How's it feel living in Japan's kitchen with extra street food grease?", |
| 1648 | | - "Osaka: Where the humor is sharp, and the takoyaki burns hotter than your regrets.", |
| 1649 | | - "Oh, Osaka? The city that thinks being friendly means roasting you to your face.", |
| 1650 | | - "Osaka: Where everyone's a comedian, but the punchline is the cost of living.", |
| 1651 | | - "From Osaka? Let me guess, you've already argued about who makes better okonomiyaki.", |
| 1652 | | - "Osaka: The only city where street food vendors have more personality than politicians.", |
| 1653 | | - "Where 'culture' means deep-frying anything and calling it a delicacy.", |
| 1654 | | - "Osaka: Tokyo's rowdy little brother who didn't get the memo about being quiet.", |
| 1655 | | - "From Osaka? Your city's biggest flex is being the underdog nobody saw coming." |
| 1656 | | - ] |
| 1657 | | - }, |
| 1658 | | - |
| 1659 | | - mexico: { |
| 1660 | | - generic: [ |
| 1661 | | - "Mexico? Where the cartels have better organization than the government.", |
| 1662 | | - "From Mexico? How's living in America's favorite vacation spot and scapegoat?", |
| 1663 | | - "Mexico: Where the food is incredible but the water will kill you.", |
| 1664 | | - "Oh, Mexico? The country that's just Texas with better food and worse infrastructure.", |
| 1665 | | - "Mexico: Where everyone's cousin is either in construction or 'import/export'.", |
| 1666 | | - "From Mexico? Let me guess, you're tired of Americans butchering Spanish at resorts.", |
| 1667 | | - "Mexico: The only country where corruption is so normal it's basically a tax.", |
| 1668 | | - "Where 'safety' means knowing which cartel controls your neighborhood.", |
| 1669 | | - "Mexico: Proof that great food can't fix systemic problems.", |
| 1670 | | - "From Mexico? Your country's biggest export is people fed up with Mexico." |
| 1671 | | - ], |
| 1672 | | - mexico_city: [ |
| 1673 | | - "Mexico City? Where the altitude is high and the air quality is criminally low.", |
| 1674 | | - "From CDMX? How's it feel living in a sinking city built on a dead lake?", |
| 1675 | | - "Mexico City: Where traffic is so bad people measure distance in hours not miles.", |
| 1676 | | - "Oh, Mexico City? The city where kidnapping is a business model.", |
| 1677 | | - "Mexico City: Where everyone's either ultra-rich or ultra-fucked, no middle ground.", |
| 1678 | | - "From Mexico City? Let me guess, you've been in the same traffic jam since 2019.", |
| 1679 | | - "Mexico City: The only city where earthquakes are a relief from traffic.", |
| 1680 | | - "Where 'culture' means ancient pyramids surrounded by urban decay.", |
| 1681 | | - "Mexico City: LA's bigger, more dangerous cousin with better tacos.", |
| 1682 | | - "From CDMX? Your city's so big even Google Maps gives up." |
| 1683 | | - ] |
| 1684 | | - }, |
| 1685 | | - |
| 1686 | | - france: { |
| 1687 | | - generic: [ |
| 1688 | | - "France? Where arrogance is the national sport and bathing is optional.", |
| 1689 | | - "From France? How's that superiority complex working with your failing economy?", |
| 1690 | | - "France: Where everyone smokes like it's 1952 and protests like it's 1789.", |
| 1691 | | - "Oh, France? The country that thinks cheese and wine excuse being insufferable.", |
| 1692 | | - "France: Where 'work-life balance' means barely working and complaining constantly.", |
| 1693 | | - "From France? Let me guess, you've already corrected someone's pronunciation today.", |
| 1694 | | - "France: The only country where being rude is considered sophisticated.", |
| 1695 | | - "Where everyone's an intellectual who can't change a lightbulb.", |
| 1696 | | - "France: Proof that good food can't make up for bad attitudes.", |
| 1697 | | - "From France? Your country's biggest export is condescension and overpriced wine." |
| 1698 | | - ], |
| 1699 | | - paris: [ |
| 1700 | | - "Paris? The city where the Eiffel Tower is the only thing that doesn't smell like piss.", |
| 1701 | | - "From Paris? How's that romantic city working out with all the rats and strikes?", |
| 1702 | | - "Paris: Where everyone's an artist but nobody's making art.", |
| 1703 | | - "Oh, Paris? The city that's just a museum with a housing crisis.", |
| 1704 | | - "Paris: Where rudeness is an art form and customer service is a war crime.", |
| 1705 | | - "From Paris? Let me guess, you smoke, wear black, and judge tourists in three languages.", |
| 1706 | | - "Paris: The only city where paying €8 for terrible coffee is considered culture.", |
| 1707 | | - "Where 'romance' means getting pickpocketed on the Metro.", |
| 1708 | | - "Paris: New York's pretentious cousin who peaked 200 years ago.", |
| 1709 | | - "From Paris? Your city's biggest achievement is convincing people it's still relevant." |
| 1710 | | - ] |
| 1711 | | - }, |
| 1712 | | - |
| 1713 | | - india: { |
| 1714 | | - generic: [ |
| 1715 | | - "India? Where the population is massive and personal space is mythology.", |
| 1716 | | - "From India? How's that superpower by 2020 thing working out?", |
| 1717 | | - "India: Where cows have more rights than women in some places.", |
| 1718 | | - "Oh, India? The country that invented zero and keeps discovering new ways to use it in GDP.", |
| 1719 | | - "India: Where everyone's an engineer, doctor, or disappointing their parents.", |
| 1720 | | - "From India? Let me guess, you work in IT and your parents still aren't satisfied.", |
| 1721 | | - "India: The only country where traffic rules are suggestions and honking is a language.", |
| 1722 | | - "Where 'spicy' actually means something and white people cry eating bread.", |
| 1723 | | - "India: Proof that you can have a space program and no toilets.", |
| 1724 | | - "From India? Your country's biggest export is IT support and arranged marriage pressure." |
| 1725 | | - ], |
| 1726 | | - mumbai: [ |
| 1727 | | - "Mumbai? Where millionaires and slums share the same view.", |
| 1728 | | - "From Mumbai? How's living in a city where rent costs more than organs?", |
| 1729 | | - "Mumbai: Where Bollywood dreams go to die in traffic.", |
| 1730 | | - "Oh, Mumbai? The city that never sleeps because the trains never stop running.", |
| 1731 | | - "Mumbai: Where everyone's a 'producer' or 'in finance' which means unemployed.", |
| 1732 | | - "From Mumbai? Let me guess, your commute is longer than most people's work day.", |
| 1733 | | - "Mumbai: The only city where local trains are both transportation and extreme sport.", |
| 1734 | | - "Where 'monsoon' means swimming to work.", |
| 1735 | | - "Mumbai: New York's sweatier, more crowded cousin with better street food.", |
| 1736 | | - "From Mumbai? Your city makes Tokyo look spacious." |
| 1737 | | - ], |
| 1738 | | - bangalore: [ |
| 1739 | | - "Bangalore? India's Silicon Valley if Silicon Valley was built on potholes.", |
| 1740 | | - "From Bangalore? How's that tech hub life with power cuts and traffic?", |
| 1741 | | - "Bangalore: Where every Uber driver has a startup idea.", |
| 1742 | | - "Oh, Bangalore? The city that went from Garden City to Garbage City in one generation.", |
| 1743 | | - "Bangalore: Where techies earn Silicon Valley salaries and live like it's still 1990.", |
| 1744 | | - "From Bangalore? Let me guess, you're in IT and stuck in traffic right now.", |
| 1745 | | - "Bangalore: The only city where 'quick commute' means under 2 hours.", |
| 1746 | | - "Where 'culture' means pub hopping and complaining about North Indians.", |
| 1747 | | - "Bangalore: San Francisco's outsourced cousin with worse infrastructure.", |
| 1748 | | - "From Bangalore? Your city's weather is the only thing not completely fucked." |
| 1749 | | - ] |
| 1750 | | - }, |
| 1751 | | - |
| 1752 | | - china: { |
| 1753 | | - generic: [ |
| 1754 | | - "China? Where the Great Wall couldn't keep out globalization but the firewall tries.", |
| 1755 | | - "From China? How's that social credit score treating you?", |
| 1756 | | - "China: Where everything's made including the statistics about how well they're doing.", |
| 1757 | | - "Oh, China? The country that's simultaneously the future and stuck in 1984.", |
| 1758 | | - "China: Where innovation means copying but cheaper.", |
| 1759 | | - "From China? Let me guess, your VPN is the most important app on your phone.", |
| 1760 | | - "China: The only country where billionaires disappear for disagreeing.", |
| 1761 | | - "Where 'Made in China' means it'll break in two weeks.", |
| 1762 | | - "China: Proof that capitalism and communism can fail together.", |
| 1763 | | - "From China? Your country's biggest export is everything and government surveillance." |
| 1764 | | - ], |
| 1765 | | - shanghai: [ |
| 1766 | | - "Shanghai? Where the skyline is futuristic but the plumbing is prehistoric.", |
| 1767 | | - "From Shanghai? How's living in China's showroom city?", |
| 1768 | | - "Shanghai: Where expats go to pretend they understand China.", |
| 1769 | | - "Oh, Shanghai? The city that's just Hong Kong with more censorship.", |
| 1770 | | - "Shanghai: Where everyone's in finance or teaching English badly.", |
| 1771 | | - "From Shanghai? Let me guess, you're either rich or pretending to be.", |
| 1772 | | - "Shanghai: The only city where pollution levels compete with rent prices.", |
| 1773 | | - "Where 'culture' means shopping malls shaped like the future.", |
| 1774 | | - "Shanghai: New York's knockoff cousin with more surveillance.", |
| 1775 | | - "From Shanghai? Your city's so international it forgot it's in China." |
| 1776 | | - ], |
| 1777 | | - beijing: [ |
| 1778 | | - "Beijing? Where the Forbidden City is less forbidden than Google.", |
| 1779 | | - "From Beijing? How's that air quality treating your lungs?", |
| 1780 | | - "Beijing: Where history meets dystopia and both lose.", |
| 1781 | | - "Oh, Beijing? The city where breathing is an extreme sport.", |
| 1782 | | - "Beijing: Where everyone works for the government or pretends they don't.", |
| 1783 | | - "From Beijing? Let me guess, you haven't seen a blue sky since 2008.", |
| 1784 | | - "Beijing: The only capital where the smog is thicker than the bureaucracy.", |
| 1785 | | - "Where 'culture' means ancient sites surrounded by concrete nightmares.", |
| 1786 | | - "Beijing: DC's authoritarian cousin with worse air.", |
| 1787 | | - "From Beijing? Your city's biggest achievement is making LA's smog look healthy." |
| 1788 | | - ] |
| 1789 | | - }, |
| 1790 | | - |
| 1791 | | - russia: { |
| 1792 | | - generic: [ |
| 1793 | | - "Russia? Where vodka is a food group and democracy is a four-letter word.", |
| 1794 | | - "From Russia? How's that kleptocracy disguised as a country working out?", |
| 1795 | | - "Russia: Where the winters are cold but the politics are colder.", |
| 1796 | | - "Oh, Russia? The country that's just a gas station with nuclear weapons.", |
| 1797 | | - "Russia: Where everyone's either an oligarch or wondering where their oligarch went.", |
| 1798 | | - "From Russia? Let me guess, you're tired of explaining you're not all spies.", |
| 1799 | | - "Russia: The only country where poisoning is a legitimate political strategy.", |
| 1800 | | - "Where 'opposition' means you're about to take a really long vacation.", |
| 1801 | | - "Russia: Proof that having lots of land doesn't mean having good ideas.", |
| 1802 | | - "From Russia? Your country's biggest export is authoritarianism and YouTube dashcam videos." |
| 1803 | | - ], |
| 1804 | | - moscow: [ |
| 1805 | | - "Moscow? Where the Red Square is less red than the balance sheets.", |
| 1806 | | - "From Moscow? How's that oligarch lifestyle working for the 99.9% who aren't oligarchs?", |
| 1807 | | - "Moscow: Where every building is either ancient or money laundering.", |
| 1808 | | - "Oh, Moscow? The city where journalists go to mysteriously fall out of windows.", |
| 1809 | | - "Moscow: Where everyone's rich on paper but poor in reality.", |
| 1810 | | - "From Moscow? You definitely know someone who 'disappeared' for having opinions.", |
| 1811 | | - "Moscow: The only city where luxury brands cost more than most countries' GDP.", |
| 1812 | | - "Where 'culture' means ballet and state-sponsored everything else.", |
| 1813 | | - "Moscow: Washington DC's more corrupt, less democratic cousin.", |
| 1814 | | - "From Moscow? Your city's biggest achievement is making other capitals look honest." |
| 1815 | | - ] |
| 1816 | | - }, |
| 1817 | | - |
| 1818 | | - italy: { |
| 1819 | | - generic: [ |
| 1820 | | - "Italy? Where the food is incredible but the government changes faster than pasta water boils.", |
| 1821 | | - "From Italy? How's living in a country that's basically a museum with traffic problems?", |
| 1822 | | - "Italy: Where la dolce vita meets economic stagnation.", |
| 1823 | | - "Oh, Italy? The country where mama's boys run the economy into the ground.", |
| 1824 | | - "Italy: Where everyone's an expert on everything except running a functional government.", |
| 1825 | | - "From Italy? Let me guess, you still live with your parents at 35.", |
| 1826 | | - "Italy: The only country where corruption is seasoned with oregano.", |
| 1827 | | - "Where 'efficiency' is a foreign concept but the coffee is perfect.", |
| 1828 | | - "Italy: Proof that great food can't solve political incompetence.", |
| 1829 | | - "From Italy? Your country's biggest export is tourists and tax evasion." |
| 1830 | | - ], |
| 1831 | | - rome: [ |
| 1832 | | - "Rome? Where the ruins are in better shape than the infrastructure.", |
| 1833 | | - "From Rome? How's that eternal city working with eternal traffic jams?", |
| 1834 | | - "Rome: Where history is everywhere except in the city planning.", |
| 1835 | | - "Oh, Rome? The city where tourists outnumber functioning elevators.", |
| 1836 | | - "Rome: Where every street is historic and every pothole is legendary.", |
| 1837 | | - "From Rome? You definitely make more money from Airbnb than actual work.", |
| 1838 | | - "Rome: The only city where 2000-year-old buildings work better than new ones.", |
| 1839 | | - "Where 'culture' means overcharging tourists for gelato near the Colosseum.", |
| 1840 | | - "Rome: Paris's more ancient, less functional cousin.", |
| 1841 | | - "From Rome? Your city's idea of progress is adding contactless payment to tourist traps." |
| 1842 | | - ] |
| 1843 | | - }, |
| 1844 | | - |
| 1845 | | - spain: { |
| 1846 | | - generic: [ |
| 1847 | | - "Spain? Where siestas are mandatory but economic growth is optional.", |
| 1848 | | - "From Spain? How's that 25% unemployment rate treating your life goals?", |
| 1849 | | - "Spain: Where everyone parties until 4 AM but wonders why nothing gets done.", |
| 1850 | | - "Oh, Spain? The country where 'mañana' isn't procrastination, it's policy.", |
| 1851 | | - "Spain: Where the sun always shines but the economy never does.", |
| 1852 | | - "From Spain? Let me guess, you're either unemployed or a bartender serving sangria to tourists.", |
| 1853 | | - "Spain: The only country where lunch starts at dinner time everywhere else.", |
| 1854 | | - "Where 'work-life balance' means mostly life, barely work.", |
| 1855 | | - "Spain: Italy's party-loving cousin with worse economic planning.", |
| 1856 | | - "From Spain? Your country's biggest achievement is making unemployment look fun." |
| 1857 | | - ], |
| 1858 | | - madrid: [ |
| 1859 | | - "Madrid? The city where the nightlife is legendary and the job market is mythical.", |
| 1860 | | - "From Madrid? How's that capital city life with provincial city salaries?", |
| 1861 | | - "Madrid: Where everyone's an artist because actual jobs don't exist.", |
| 1862 | | - "Oh, Madrid? The city that parties so hard it forgot to develop an economy.", |
| 1863 | | - "Madrid: Where 'culture' means staying out until sunrise because you can't afford rent anyway.", |
| 1864 | | - "From Madrid? You definitely live with roommates and call it 'European lifestyle'.", |
| 1865 | | - "Madrid: The only capital where being broke is considered bohemian.", |
| 1866 | | - "Where 'networking' means buying drinks you can't afford for people who also can't afford them.", |
| 1867 | | - "Madrid: Barcelona's less successful, more party-focused sibling.", |
| 1868 | | - "From Madrid? Your city's idea of economic development is opening more tapas bars." |
| 1869 | | - ] |
| 1870 | | - }, |
| 1871 | | - |
| 1872 | | - // SOUTH KOREA |
| 1873 | | - southkorea: { |
| 1874 | | - generic: [ |
| 1875 | | - "South Korea? Where plastic surgery is more common than job security.", |
| 1876 | | - "From South Korea? How's that work-yourself-to-death culture treating your mental health?", |
| 1877 | | - "South Korea: Where K-pop is the biggest export but happiness is the rarest import.", |
| 1878 | | - "Oh, South Korea? The country where everyone's beautiful but miserable.", |
| 1879 | | - "South Korea: Where studying 18 hours a day is considered normal parenting.", |
| 1880 | | - "From South Korea? Let me guess, your parents still think you're underachieving.", |
| 1881 | | - "South Korea: The only country where gaming professionally is less stressful than regular jobs.", |
| 1882 | | - "Where 'success' means burning out by 30 with perfect skin.", |
| 1883 | | - "South Korea: Japan's overachieving little brother with more pressure.", |
| 1884 | | - "From South Korea? Your country's biggest achievement is making workaholism look trendy." |
| 1885 | | - ], |
| 1886 | | - seoul: [ |
| 1887 | | - "Seoul? Where the apartments are smaller than American closets but cost twice as much.", |
| 1888 | | - "From Seoul? How's that 10 million person sardine can treating your personal space?", |
| 1889 | | - "Seoul: Where everyone's competing to be the most stressed in the most stylish way.", |
| 1890 | | - "Oh, Seoul? The city where plastic surgery clinics outnumber coffee shops.", |
| 1891 | | - "Seoul: Where 'work-life balance' means working until you die young and pretty.", |
| 1892 | | - "From Seoul? You definitely live in a shoebox and call it 'efficient urban living'.", |
| 1893 | | - "Seoul: The only city where your phone has better coverage than your mental health insurance.", |
| 1894 | | - "Where 'culture' means K-dramas and crippling social anxiety.", |
| 1895 | | - "Seoul: Tokyo's more fashionable, equally miserable cousin.", |
| 1896 | | - "From Seoul? Your city's idea of relaxation is a 20-hour gaming session." |
| 1897 | | - ] |
| 1898 | | - }, |
| 1899 | | - |
| 1900 | | - // GENERIC/DEFAULT ROASTS |
| 1901 | | - default: [ |
| 1902 | | - "Your location is so irrelevant, even Google Maps just shrugs.", |
| 1903 | | - "From there? I'd roast your hometown but it would require me to care about it first.", |
| 1904 | | - "Your area is so forgettable, even this roast generator had nothing prepared.", |
| 1905 | | - "I'd make fun of where you're from, but I don't want to punch down that far.", |
| 1906 | | - "Your location is like a generic brand cereal - technically exists but nobody's first choice.", |
| 1907 | | - "Oh, you're from there? That's nice. Anyway...", |
| 1908 | | - "Your hometown is the geographic equivalent of elevator music.", |
| 1909 | | - "From there? Even your GPS tries to avoid it.", |
| 1910 | | - "Your location is so bland, mayonnaise thinks it needs more flavor.", |
| 1911 | | - "I'd google your hometown but I don't want that in my search history.", |
| 1912 | | - "Your area's so unremarkable, even this burn feels like too much attention.", |
| 1913 | | - "From there? The place so boring, even the Wikipedia page is just one sentence.", |
| 1914 | | - "Your hometown's like a rest stop - people only go there when they have to.", |
| 1915 | | - "The most interesting thing about your location is that you left.", |
| 1916 | | - "Your area's claim to fame is people confusing it with somewhere better.", |
| 1917 | | - "From there? That explains the personality.", |
| 1918 | | - "Your location is what happens when God runs out of ideas.", |
| 1919 | | - "I've heard of nowhere, and your town is 20 minutes past that.", |
| 1920 | | - "Your hometown's so irrelevant, even COVID skipped it.", |
| 1921 | | - "From there? The place where ambition goes to die and mediocrity thrives." |
| 1922 | | - ] |
| 1923 | | -}; |
| 3717 | + sao_paulo: [ |
| 3718 | + "São Paulo? Where the traffic is so bad, people are born, live, and die in the same jam.", |
| 3719 | + "From São Paulo? How's living in a concrete jungle where the jungle won?", |
| 3720 | + "São Paulo: Where millionaires fly helicopters to avoid being kidnapped in traffic.", |
| 3721 | + "Oh, São Paulo? The city that makes Mexico City look well-planned.", |
| 3722 | + "São Paulo: Where everyone's either rich in a fortress or poor in a favela.", |
| 3723 | + "From São Paulo? Let me guess, your commute is longer than most people's workday.", |
| 3724 | + "São Paulo: The only city where pizza crimes against Italy are considered culture.", |
| 3725 | + "Where the pollution is so thick you can chew it.", |
| 3726 | + "São Paulo: Proof that economic power can't buy quality of life.", |
| 3727 | + "From São Paulo? Your city's so big, even Google Maps has an existential crisis." |
| 3728 | + ], |
| 3729 | + rio: [ |
| 3730 | + "Rio? Where the beaches are beautiful and everything else is trying to kill you.", |
| 3731 | + "From Rio? How's living in a postcard that smells like sewage?", |
| 3732 | + "Rio: Where Christ the Redeemer has his back turned on the city's problems.", |
| 3733 | + "Oh, Rio? The city that peaked during the 2016 Olympics and it wasn't even that good.", |
| 3734 | + "Rio: Where everyone's either a tourist, robbing tourists, or wishing they were tourists.", |
| 3735 | + "From Rio? Let me guess, you live nowhere near the beach but tell people you do.", |
| 3736 | + "Rio: The only city where getting mugged is part of the authentic experience.", |
| 3737 | + "Where 'culture' means samba and pretending the violence isn't real.", |
| 3738 | + "Rio: Beautiful from a distance, terrifying up close.", |
| 3739 | + "From Rio? Your city's biggest achievement is tricking people into visiting." |
| 3740 | + ] |
| 3741 | + }, |
| 3742 | + |
| 3743 | + // ARGENTINA |
| 3744 | + argentina: { |
| 3745 | + generic: [ |
| 3746 | + "Argentina? Where the economy collapses more often than their World Cup hopes.", |
| 3747 | + "From Argentina? How's that inflation treating your peso that's worth less than Monopoly money?", |
| 3748 | + "Argentina: Where everyone's Italian but speaks Spanish and thinks they're European.", |
| 3749 | + "Oh, Argentina? The country that used to be rich and won't shut up about it.", |
| 3750 | + "Argentina: Where psychotherapy is more common than stable currency.", |
| 3751 | + "From Argentina? Let me guess, you're planning to move to Spain with that passport.", |
| 3752 | + "Argentina: The only country where economic crisis is a permanent state.", |
| 3753 | + "Where everyone's a philosopher because they can't afford to do anything else.", |
| 3754 | + "Argentina: Proof that having resources doesn't mean knowing how to use them.", |
| 3755 | + "From Argentina? Your country's biggest export is people with European passports fleeing." |
| 3756 | + ], |
| 3757 | + buenos_aires: [ |
| 3758 | + "Buenos Aires? The Paris of South America, if Paris was broke and dangerous.", |
| 3759 | + "From Buenos Aires? How's pretending to be European while being in South America?", |
| 3760 | + "Buenos Aires: Where everyone's in therapy because living there requires it.", |
| 3761 | + "Oh, Buenos Aires? The city that's just Madrid's broke, depressed cousin.", |
| 3762 | + "Buenos Aires: Where the steaks are good but the economy is well-done.", |
| 3763 | + "From Buenos Aires? Let me guess, you're an artist/writer/unemployed.", |
| 3764 | + "Buenos Aires: The only city where everyone's nostalgic for a past they never lived.", |
| 3765 | + "Where 'culture' means tango shows for tourists and complaining about the government.", |
| 3766 | + "Buenos Aires: Proof that European architecture can't fix South American problems.", |
| 3767 | + "From Buenos Aires? Your city's biggest achievement is convincing people it's sophisticated while falling apart." |
| 3768 | + ] |
| 3769 | + }, |
| 3770 | + |
| 3771 | + // NETHERLANDS |
| 3772 | + netherlands: { |
| 3773 | + generic: [ |
| 3774 | + "Netherlands? Where everyone's high but still more productive than you.", |
| 3775 | + "From the Netherlands? How's living below sea level while being above everyone else?", |
| 3776 | + "Netherlands: Where the bikes have more rights than pedestrians.", |
| 3777 | + "Oh, Netherlands? The country that's just Amsterdam plus some farms.", |
| 3778 | + "Netherlands: Where everyone speaks better English than the English but pretends they don't.", |
| 3779 | + "From the Netherlands? Let me guess, you're 'direct' which is Dutch for 'asshole'.", |
| 3780 | + "Netherlands: The only country where being tall is a personality trait.", |
| 3781 | + "Where 'culture' means cheese, clogs, and colonial guilt.", |
| 3782 | + "Netherlands: Proof that you can be progressive and still have a racist Christmas tradition.", |
| 3783 | + "From the Netherlands? Your country's biggest achievement is convincing people windmills are interesting." |
| 3784 | + ], |
| 3785 | + amsterdam: [ |
| 3786 | + "Amsterdam? Where tourists come for culture but really just want weed and prostitutes.", |
| 3787 | + "From Amsterdam? How's living in Europe's adult Disneyland?", |
| 3788 | + "Amsterdam: Where the red light district is more honest than the politicians.", |
| 3789 | + "Oh, Amsterdam? The city that's just Venice with bikes and drugs.", |
| 3790 | + "Amsterdam: Where everyone's either a tourist, serving tourists, or hating tourists.", |
| 3791 | + "From Amsterdam? Let me guess, you complain about tourists while your rent depends on them.", |
| 3792 | + "Amsterdam: The only city where canals are full of bikes and tourists.", |
| 3793 | + "Where 'local culture' died when the coffee shops opened.", |
| 3794 | + "Amsterdam: Proof that legalization doesn't make you less annoying.", |
| 3795 | + "From Amsterdam? Your city's biggest achievement is being a bachelor party destination." |
| 3796 | + ], |
| 3797 | + rotterdam: [ |
| 3798 | + "Rotterdam? Amsterdam's ugly industrial sibling.", |
| 3799 | + "From Rotterdam? How's living in a city that was better before the bombing?", |
| 3800 | + "Rotterdam: Where the architecture is modern because everything old was destroyed.", |
| 3801 | + "Oh, Rotterdam? The city that's trying so hard not to be Amsterdam it became boring.", |
| 3802 | + "Rotterdam: Where the port is more interesting than the people.", |
| 3803 | + "From Rotterdam? Let me guess, you have an inferiority complex about Amsterdam.", |
| 3804 | + "Rotterdam: The only city where 'culture' means weird architecture and trying too hard.", |
| 3805 | + "Where everyone's 'edgy' in the most Dutch way possible.", |
| 3806 | + "Rotterdam: Proof that rebuilding doesn't mean improving.", |
| 3807 | + "From Rotterdam? Your city's biggest achievement is having Europe's largest port and smallest personality." |
| 3808 | + ] |
| 3809 | + }, |
| 3810 | + |
| 3811 | + // BELGIUM |
| 3812 | + belgium: { |
| 3813 | + generic: [ |
| 3814 | + "Belgium? The country that took 541 days to form a government and nobody noticed.", |
| 3815 | + "From Belgium? How's living in Europe's most boring buffer state?", |
| 3816 | + "Belgium: Where the EU goes to be even more bureaucratic.", |
| 3817 | + "Oh, Belgium? The country that's just a speed bump between France and Netherlands.", |
| 3818 | + "Belgium: Where everyone speaks three languages badly.", |
| 3819 | + "From Belgium? Let me guess, you spend most of your time explaining you're not French or Dutch.", |
| 3820 | + "Belgium: The only country where the food is beige and so is the personality.", |
| 3821 | + "Where 'culture' means arguing about whether you're Flemish or Walloon.", |
| 3822 | + "Belgium: Proof that you can have great beer and still be boring.", |
| 3823 | + "From Belgium? Your country's biggest achievement is hosting the EU and making chocolate." |
| 3824 | + ], |
| 3825 | + brussels: [ |
| 3826 | + "Brussels? Where the EU bureaucrats go to kill Europe's soul slowly.", |
| 3827 | + "From Brussels? How's living in Europe's most boring capital?", |
| 3828 | + "Brussels: Where every building is either EU offices or disappointing.", |
| 3829 | + "Oh, Brussels? The city that manages to make Paris look friendly.", |
| 3830 | + "Brussels: Where everyone's a bureaucrat or serving bureaucrats.", |
| 3831 | + "From Brussels? Let me guess, you work for the EU or wish you didn't live there.", |
| 3832 | + "Brussels: The only capital where the most exciting thing is the airport to leave.", |
| 3833 | + "Where 'culture' means Manneken Pis and disappointment.", |
| 3834 | + "Brussels: Proof that being centrally located doesn't make you central to anything.", |
| 3835 | + "From Brussels? Your city's biggest achievement is making Strasbourg look exciting." |
| 3836 | + ] |
| 3837 | + }, |
| 3838 | + |
| 3839 | + // SWEDEN |
| 3840 | + sweden: { |
| 3841 | + generic: [ |
| 3842 | + "Sweden? Where everyone's depressed but too polite to mention it.", |
| 3843 | + "From Sweden? How's that seasonal depression lasting 11 months a year?", |
| 3844 | + "Sweden: Where the social safety net can't catch your falling mental health.", |
| 3845 | + "Oh, Sweden? The country that's just Norway's less interesting sibling.", |
| 3846 | + "Sweden: Where everyone's equal but nobody talks to each other.", |
| 3847 | + "From Sweden? Let me guess, you're 'lagom' which is Swedish for 'boring'.", |
| 3848 | + "Sweden: The only country where being antisocial is cultural.", |
| 3849 | + "Where 'excitement' means the sun came out for 20 minutes.", |
| 3850 | + "Sweden: Proof that progressive policies can't cure Nordic sadness.", |
| 3851 | + "From Sweden? Your country's biggest export is furniture and existential dread." |
| 3852 | + ], |
| 3853 | + stockholm: [ |
| 3854 | + "Stockholm? Where the syndrome is just accepting you'll never afford to live there.", |
| 3855 | + "From Stockholm? How's that darkness and rent treating your mental health?", |
| 3856 | + "Stockholm: Where everyone's beautiful, rich, and dead inside.", |
| 3857 | + "Oh, Stockholm? The city that's just water, islands, and depression.", |
| 3858 | + "Stockholm: Where the apartments are smaller than IKEA showrooms.", |
| 3859 | + "From Stockholm? Let me guess, you're in tech or contemplating the void.", |
| 3860 | + "Stockholm: The only city where summer is a day in July.", |
| 3861 | + "Where 'culture' means design museums and avoiding eye contact.", |
| 3862 | + "Stockholm: Proof that money and beauty can't buy happiness.", |
| 3863 | + "From Stockholm? Your city's biggest achievement is making Oslo look affordable." |
| 3864 | + ] |
| 3865 | + }, |
| 3866 | + |
| 3867 | + // NORWAY |
| 3868 | + norway: { |
| 3869 | + generic: [ |
| 3870 | + "Norway? Where the oil money can't buy personality.", |
| 3871 | + "From Norway? How's living in Sweden's richer, equally boring sibling?", |
| 3872 | + "Norway: Where everyone's rich but still complains about the $20 beer.", |
| 3873 | + "Oh, Norway? The country that's just mountains, oil, and social awkwardness.", |
| 3874 | + "Norway: Where the fjords are deep but the conversations aren't.", |
| 3875 | + "From Norway? Let me guess, you're hiking, skiing, or avoiding human contact.", |
| 3876 | + "Norway: The only country where being antisocial is an Olympic sport.", |
| 3877 | + "Where 'culture' means outdoor activities to avoid talking to people.", |
| 3878 | + "Norway: Proof that natural beauty can't overcome Nordic coldness.", |
| 3879 | + "From Norway? Your country's biggest export is oil and people who can't make small talk." |
| 3880 | + ], |
| 3881 | + oslo: [ |
| 3882 | + "Oslo? Where everything costs a fortune but there's nothing to spend it on.", |
| 3883 | + "From Oslo? How's paying $30 for a beer in the world's most boring capital?", |
| 3884 | + "Oslo: Where the Nobel Peace Prize is the most exciting thing that happens.", |
| 3885 | + "Oh, Oslo? The city that makes Stockholm look like Las Vegas.", |
| 3886 | + "Oslo: Where everyone's rich, fit, and emotionally unavailable.", |
| 3887 | + "From Oslo? Let me guess, you're in oil money or spending oil money.", |
| 3888 | + "Oslo: The only capital where excitement is a dirty word.", |
| 3889 | + "Where 'nightlife' means the sun setting at 3 PM.", |
| 3890 | + "Oslo: Proof that wealth can't buy culture or warmth.", |
| 3891 | + "From Oslo? Your city's biggest achievement is being slightly less boring than Bergen." |
| 3892 | + ] |
| 3893 | + }, |
| 3894 | + |
| 3895 | + // DENMARK |
| 3896 | + denmark: { |
| 3897 | + generic: [ |
| 3898 | + "Denmark? Where 'hygge' is just a marketing term for seasonal depression.", |
| 3899 | + "From Denmark? How's pretending to be the world's happiest country?", |
| 3900 | + "Denmark: Where everyone's taxed into equality and medicated into happiness.", |
| 3901 | + "Oh, Denmark? The country that's just Germany's hat.", |
| 3902 | + "Denmark: Where the pastries are sweet but the people are bitter.", |
| 3903 | + "From Denmark? Let me guess, you're 'happy' because the survey says so.", |
| 3904 | + "Denmark: The only country where Lego is the most interesting export.", |
| 3905 | + "Where 'culture' means design and pretending lagom is different from boring.", |
| 3906 | + "Denmark: Proof that high taxes can't buy actual happiness.", |
| 3907 | + "From Denmark? Your country's biggest achievement is convincing people Scandinavian life is desirable." |
| 3908 | + ], |
| 3909 | + copenhagen: [ |
| 3910 | + "Copenhagen? Where the bikes outnumber personalities.", |
| 3911 | + "From Copenhagen? How's that sustainable living in an unsustainably expensive city?", |
| 3912 | + "Copenhagen: Where everyone's on bikes because they can't afford cars after taxes.", |
| 3913 | + "Oh, Copenhagen? The city that's just Amsterdam without the fun parts.", |
| 3914 | + "Copenhagen: Where hygge can't warm up the cold social atmosphere.", |
| 3915 | + "From Copenhagen? Let me guess, you work in design or sustainable something.", |
| 3916 | + "Copenhagen: The only city where being environmental is compulsory.", |
| 3917 | + "Where 'culture' means expensive restaurants and pretentious design.", |
| 3918 | + "Copenhagen: Proof that bikes and pastries don't make a personality.", |
| 3919 | + "From Copenhagen? Your city's biggest achievement is making Stockholm look exciting." |
| 3920 | + ] |
| 3921 | + }, |
| 3922 | + |
| 3923 | + // POLAND |
| 3924 | + poland: { |
| 3925 | + generic: [ |
| 3926 | + "Poland? Where the history is tragic and the present isn't much better.", |
| 3927 | + "From Poland? How's being Europe's parking lot between Germany and Russia?", |
| 3928 | + "Poland: Where everyone's Catholic until they move to London.", |
| 3929 | + "Oh, Poland? The country that's just Europe's conservative uncle.", |
| 3930 | + "Poland: Where the pierogis are good but the politics are medieval.", |
| 3931 | + "From Poland? Let me guess, you're either ultra-religious or fled to the UK.", |
| 3932 | + "Poland: The only country where homophobia is government policy.", |
| 3933 | + "Where 'progress' means slightly less Catholic than last year.", |
| 3934 | + "Poland: Proof that EU membership can't fix everything.", |
| 3935 | + "From Poland? Your country's biggest export is plumbers and programmers to better countries." |
| 3936 | + ], |
| 3937 | + warsaw: [ |
| 3938 | + "Warsaw? The city they rebuilt from rubble and it shows.", |
| 3939 | + "From Warsaw? How's living in Europe's most rebuilt mediocre capital?", |
| 3940 | + "Warsaw: Where the architecture is Soviet and the attitudes match.", |
| 3941 | + "Oh, Warsaw? The city that's trying to be Western but still feels Eastern.", |
| 3942 | + "Warsaw: Where everyone's either in IT or planning to leave.", |
| 3943 | + "From Warsaw? Let me guess, you work for an international company and avoid Polish ones.", |
| 3944 | + "Warsaw: The only capital where 'old town' is newer than most suburbs.", |
| 3945 | + "Where 'culture' means remembering what was destroyed.", |
| 3946 | + "Warsaw: Proof that you can rebuild a city but not its soul.", |
| 3947 | + "From Warsaw? Your city's biggest achievement is not being as depressing as it was in 1945." |
| 3948 | + ], |
| 3949 | + krakow: [ |
| 3950 | + "Krakow? Where stag parties go to embarrass Britain.", |
| 3951 | + "From Krakow? How's living in Poland's tourist drunk tank?", |
| 3952 | + "Krakow: Where the history is beautiful and the British tourists are ugly.", |
| 3953 | + "Oh, Krakow? The city that sold its soul for bachelor party money.", |
| 3954 | + "Krakow: Where everyone's either a student or serving drunk tourists.", |
| 3955 | + "From Krakow? Let me guess, you hate what tourism has done but need the money.", |
| 3956 | + "Krakow: The only city where medieval charm meets modern vomit.", |
| 3957 | + "Where 'culture' gets drowned out by stag do chants.", |
| 3958 | + "Krakow: Proof that being beautiful doesn't protect you from drunk Brits.", |
| 3959 | + "From Krakow? Your city's biggest achievement is surviving both Nazis and British tourists." |
| 3960 | + ] |
| 3961 | + }, |
| 3962 | + |
| 3963 | + // PORTUGAL |
| 3964 | + portugal: { |
| 3965 | + generic: [ |
| 3966 | + "Portugal? Spain's less successful sibling that speaks with a Russian accent.", |
| 3967 | + "From Portugal? How's being Europe's retirement home for digital nomads?", |
| 3968 | + "Portugal: Where the economy runs on nostalgia and tourist rentals.", |
| 3969 | + "Oh, Portugal? The country that's just Spain's appendix.", |
| 3970 | + "Portugal: Where everyone's leaving for better jobs while foreigners price out locals.", |
| 3971 | + "From Portugal? Let me guess, you can't afford to live where you grew up.", |
| 3972 | + "Portugal: The only country where colonialism is still a point of pride.", |
| 3973 | + "Where 'development' means selling everything to foreign investors.", |
| 3974 | + "Portugal: Proof that nice weather can't fix a broken economy.", |
| 3975 | + "From Portugal? Your country's biggest export is young people seeking opportunity." |
| 3976 | + ], |
| 3977 | + lisbon: [ |
| 3978 | + "Lisbon? Where digital nomads killed local culture faster than any earthquake.", |
| 3979 | + "From Lisbon? How's being priced out by people who call it 'authentic'?", |
| 3980 | + "Lisbon: Where every building is an Airbnb and every local is leaving.", |
| 3981 | + "Oh, Lisbon? The city that sold its soul for Instagram likes.", |
| 3982 | + "Lisbon: Where the hills are steep but not as steep as the rent increases.", |
| 3983 | + "From Lisbon? Let me guess, you serve coffee to people who make your yearly salary monthly.", |
| 3984 | + "Lisbon: The only capital where gentrification is the entire economy.", |
| 3985 | + "Where 'culture' means whatever tourists will pay for.", |
| 3986 | + "Lisbon: Proof that being picturesque doesn't pay the bills.", |
| 3987 | + "From Lisbon? Your city's biggest achievement is trending on nomad blogs while locals flee." |
| 3988 | + ], |
| 3989 | + porto: [ |
| 3990 | + "Porto? Lisbon's less pretentious sibling with the same problems.", |
| 3991 | + "From Porto? How's watching your city turn into Lisbon 2.0?", |
| 3992 | + "Porto: Where the wine is good but the wages are port-poor.", |
| 3993 | + "Oh, Porto? The city that's just Lisbon for people who read travel blogs.", |
| 3994 | + "Porto: Where everyone's in tourism because there's nothing else.", |
| 3995 | + "From Porto? Let me guess, you're bitter about what happened to your neighborhood.", |
| 3996 | + "Porto: The only city where authentic means 'discovered by tourists last year'.", |
| 3997 | + "Where 'culture' is whatever fits in a wine tour.", |
| 3998 | + "Porto: Proof that you can't hide from gentrification, even in Portugal.", |
| 3999 | + "From Porto? Your city's biggest export is port wine and Portuguese people who can't afford to stay." |
| 4000 | + ] |
| 4001 | + }, |
| 4002 | + |
| 4003 | + // GREECE |
| 4004 | + greece: { |
| 4005 | + generic: [ |
| 4006 | + "Greece? Where the economy is ancient history and the history is the only economy.", |
| 4007 | + "From Greece? How's that debt crisis that's older than your democracy?", |
| 4008 | + "Greece: Where everyone's either unemployed or pretending ancient philosophy pays bills.", |
| 4009 | + "Oh, Greece? The country coasting on achievements from 2,500 years ago.", |
| 4010 | + "Greece: Where tax evasion is the national sport and bankruptcy is the result.", |
| 4011 | + "From Greece? Let me guess, you're either in tourism or Germany.", |
| 4012 | + "Greece: The only country where ruins are both tourist attractions and economic policy.", |
| 4013 | + "Where 'culture' means charging tourists to see old rocks.", |
| 4014 | + "Greece: Proof that inventing democracy doesn't mean you can run one.", |
| 4015 | + "From Greece? Your country's biggest export is nostalgia and people fleeing to work." |
| 4016 | + ], |
| 4017 | + athens: [ |
| 4018 | + "Athens? Where the Acropolis is in better shape than everything else.", |
| 4019 | + "From Athens? How's living in a city that peaked before Christ?", |
| 4020 | + "Athens: Where ancient history meets modern dysfunction.", |
| 4021 | + "Oh, Athens? The city running on fumes from the Classical period.", |
| 4022 | + "Athens: Where everyone's a philosopher because they can't find real jobs.", |
| 4023 | + "From Athens? Let me guess, you're showing tourists ruins while living in one.", |
| 4024 | + "Athens: The only capital where the museums are cleaner than the streets.", |
| 4025 | + "Where 'democracy' was invented and then abandoned.", |
| 4026 | + "Athens: Proof that you can't eat history.", |
| 4027 | + "From Athens? Your city's biggest achievement already happened 2,500 years ago." |
| 4028 | + ] |
| 4029 | + }, |
| 4030 | + |
| 4031 | + // TURKEY |
| 4032 | + turkey: { |
| 4033 | + generic: [ |
| 4034 | + "Turkey? Where East meets West and both are disappointed.", |
| 4035 | + "From Turkey? How's that lira doing against... literally anything?", |
| 4036 | + "Turkey: Where secular democracy is as endangered as the currency.", |
| 4037 | + "Oh, Turkey? The country that can't decide if it's European or Asian so fails at both.", |
| 4038 | + "Turkey: Where inflation is higher than Erdogan's ego.", |
| 4039 | + "From Turkey? Let me guess, you're planning your exit strategy.", |
| 4040 | + "Turkey: The only country where cats have more rights than journalists.", |
| 4041 | + "Where 'culture' means tea and pretending everything's fine.", |
| 4042 | + "Turkey: Proof that strategic location can't overcome strategic mistakes.", |
| 4043 | + "From Turkey? Your country's biggest export is talent fleeing the regime." |
| 4044 | + ], |
| 4045 | + istanbul: [ |
| 4046 | + "Istanbul? Constantinople called, it wants its glory back.", |
| 4047 | + "From Istanbul? How's living in a city split between continents and centuries?", |
| 4048 | + "Istanbul: Where traffic jams connect Europe and Asia.", |
| 4049 | + "Oh, Istanbul? The city that's been 'emerging' for 1,000 years.", |
| 4050 | + "Istanbul: Where everyone's selling something, especially false hopes.", |
| 4051 | + "From Istanbul? Let me guess, you're either in tourism or trying to leave.", |
| 4052 | + "Istanbul: The only city where cats run the streets better than the government.", |
| 4053 | + "Where 'culture' is buried under concrete and corruption.", |
| 4054 | + "Istanbul: Proof that being historic doesn't mean having a future.", |
| 4055 | + "From Istanbul? Your city's biggest achievement is the Byzantine Empire, and that wasn't even you." |
| 4056 | + ] |
| 4057 | + }, |
| 4058 | + |
| 4059 | + // IRELAND |
| 4060 | + ireland: { |
| 4061 | + generic: [ |
| 4062 | + "Ireland? Where the rain is constant and the housing crisis is worse.", |
| 4063 | + "From Ireland? How's being Europe's tax haven with no homes for actual Irish?", |
| 4064 | + "Ireland: Where tech companies pay less tax than bartenders.", |
| 4065 | + "Oh, Ireland? The country that's just Britain's breakup rebound.", |
| 4066 | + "Ireland: Where everyone's an alcoholic but with better PR than Russia.", |
| 4067 | + "From Ireland? Let me guess, you're either in tech or pouring Guinness for tech workers.", |
| 4068 | + "Ireland: The only country where 'culture' means drinking and James Joyce nobody reads.", |
| 4069 | + "Where the diaspora is bigger than the population.", |
| 4070 | + "Ireland: Proof that independence doesn't guarantee affordable housing.", |
| 4071 | + "From Ireland? Your country's biggest export is people and tax avoidance schemes." |
| 4072 | + ], |
| 4073 | + dublin: [ |
| 4074 | + "Dublin? Where tech money made everything unaffordable except disappointment.", |
| 4075 | + "From Dublin? How's paying London prices for Manchester quality of life?", |
| 4076 | + "Dublin: Where Google has more apartments than actual Dubliners.", |
| 4077 | + "Oh, Dublin? The city that sold its soul to Silicon Valley.", |
| 4078 | + "Dublin: Where everyone's either in tech or serving pints to tech workers.", |
| 4079 | + "From Dublin? Let me guess, you commute 2 hours because you can't afford to live there.", |
| 4080 | + "Dublin: The only capital where locals are tourists in their own city.", |
| 4081 | + "Where 'culture' means Temple Bar prices and tech company free food.", |
| 4082 | + "Dublin: Proof that tech money doesn't trickle down.", |
| 4083 | + "From Dublin? Your city's biggest achievement is convincing companies to launder money through it." |
| 4084 | + ] |
| 4085 | + }, |
| 4086 | + |
| 4087 | + // SWITZERLAND |
| 4088 | + switzerland: { |
| 4089 | + generic: [ |
| 4090 | + "Switzerland? Where the money is dirty but the streets are clean.", |
| 4091 | + "From Switzerland? How's living in Europe's money laundering department?", |
| 4092 | + "Switzerland: Where neutrality means taking everyone's blood money equally.", |
| 4093 | + "Oh, Switzerland? The country that's just a bank with mountains.", |
| 4094 | + "Switzerland: Where everything works perfectly except the soul.", |
| 4095 | + "From Switzerland? Let me guess, you're as boring as your country's foreign policy.", |
| 4096 | + "Switzerland: The only country where excitement is illegal after 10 PM.", |
| 4097 | + "Where 'culture' means chocolate, cheese, and checking accounts.", |
| 4098 | + "Switzerland: Proof that money can't buy personality.", |
| 4099 | + "From Switzerland? Your country's biggest achievement is convincing people banking is culture." |
| 4100 | + ], |
| 4101 | + zurich: [ |
| 4102 | + "Zurich? Where bankers go to die slowly in comfort.", |
| 4103 | + "From Zurich? How's living in Europe's most expensive morgue?", |
| 4104 | + "Zurich: Where the salary is high but the suicide rate is higher.", |
| 4105 | + "Oh, Zurich? The city that's just a vault with restaurants.", |
| 4106 | + "Zurich: Where everyone's rich and nobody's happy.", |
| 4107 | + "From Zurich? Let me guess, you work in finance and dream of anywhere else.", |
| 4108 | + "Zurich: The only city where fun is taxed out of existence.", |
| 4109 | + "Where 'nightlife' means the ATM is still open.", |
| 4110 | + "Zurich: Proof that efficiency can't replace humanity.", |
| 4111 | + "From Zurich? Your city's biggest achievement is making Geneva look exciting." |
| 4112 | + ], |
| 4113 | + geneva: [ |
| 4114 | + "Geneva? Where diplomats go to accomplish nothing expensively.", |
| 4115 | + "From Geneva? How's living in the world's most expensive talking shop?", |
| 4116 | + "Geneva: Where the UN proves daily that talk is cheap but rent isn't.", |
| 4117 | + "Oh, Geneva? The city that's just Zurich for people who like red tape.", |
| 4118 | + "Geneva: Where everyone's internationally important and locally irrelevant.", |
| 4119 | + "From Geneva? Let me guess, you work for an NGO that changes nothing.", |
| 4120 | + "Geneva: The only city where bureaucracy is the main industry.", |
| 4121 | + "Where 'culture' means diplomatic immunity and tax exemption.", |
| 4122 | + "Geneva: Proof that international cooperation is an oxymoron.", |
| 4123 | + "From Geneva? Your city's biggest achievement is hosting meetings about meetings." |
| 4124 | + ] |
| 4125 | + }, |
| 4126 | + |
| 4127 | + // AUSTRIA |
| 4128 | + austria: { |
| 4129 | + generic: [ |
| 4130 | + "Austria? Germany's sidekick that produced Hitler and won't let you forget Mozart.", |
| 4131 | + "From Austria? How's pretending you're not just Germany with mountains?", |
| 4132 | + "Austria: Where everyone's conservative and the hills are alive with xenophobia.", |
| 4133 | + "Oh, Austria? The country that convinced the world Hitler was German and Beethoven was Austrian.", |
| 4134 | + "Austria: Where the culture peaked with classical music and it's been downhill since.", |
| 4135 | + "From Austria? Let me guess, you ski and have questionable political views.", |
| 4136 | + "Austria: The only country where the far-right is just 'right'.", |
| 4137 | + "Where 'neutral' means profiting from everyone equally.", |
| 4138 | + "Austria: Proof that beautiful landscapes can't hide ugly politics.", |
| 4139 | + "From Austria? Your country's biggest export is fascists and classical music reputation." |
| 4140 | + ], |
| 4141 | + vienna: [ |
| 4142 | + "Vienna? Where the past is more alive than the present.", |
| 4143 | + "From Vienna? How's living in Europe's most beautiful museum?", |
| 4144 | + "Vienna: Where everyone's cultured but nobody's interesting.", |
| 4145 | + "Oh, Vienna? The city that peaked during the Habsburgs.", |
| 4146 | + "Vienna: Where the coffee houses have more personality than the people.", |
| 4147 | + "From Vienna? Let me guess, you're formal, cold, and think that's sophisticated.", |
| 4148 | + "Vienna: The only city where nostalgia is the main industry.", |
| 4149 | + "Where 'modern' means anything after 1900.", |
| 4150 | + "Vienna: Proof that high culture can be boring as hell.", |
| 4151 | + "From Vienna? Your city's biggest achievement happened before your great-grandparents were born." |
| 4152 | + ] |
| 4153 | + }, |
| 4154 | + |
| 4155 | + // CZECH REPUBLIC |
| 4156 | + czechrepublic: { |
| 4157 | + generic: [ |
| 4158 | + "Czech Republic? Where beer is cheaper than water and the economy reflects it.", |
| 4159 | + "From Czech Republic? How's being Germany's factory floor?", |
| 4160 | + "Czech Republic: Where everyone's atheist and drunk.", |
| 4161 | + "Oh, Czech Republic? The country that's just Austria's poorer cousin.", |
| 4162 | + "Czech Republic: Where the buildings are beautiful and the wages are ugly.", |
| 4163 | + "From Czech Republic? Let me guess, you work for a German company or in tourism.", |
| 4164 | + "Czech Republic: The only country where beer consumption is an economic indicator.", |
| 4165 | + "Where 'culture' means cheap beer and expensive tourists.", |
| 4166 | + "Czech Republic: Proof that good beer can't fix everything.", |
| 4167 | + "From Czech Republic? Your country's biggest export is stag parties and regret." |
| 4168 | + ], |
| 4169 | + prague: [ |
| 4170 | + "Prague? Where British stag parties go to die.", |
| 4171 | + "From Prague? How's living in Europe's Disneyland for drunk tourists?", |
| 4172 | + "Prague: Where the architecture survived wars but not tourism.", |
| 4173 | + "Oh, Prague? The city that's beautiful until you meet the visitors.", |
| 4174 | + "Prague: Where everyone's either a tourist or hates tourists.", |
| 4175 | + "From Prague? Let me guess, you avoid the city center like the plague it is.", |
| 4176 | + "Prague: The only capital where locals can't afford their own city.", |
| 4177 | + "Where 'culture' gets vomited on by bachelor parties nightly.", |
| 4178 | + "Prague: Proof that being beautiful is a curse.", |
| 4179 | + "From Prague? Your city's biggest achievement is surviving both Nazis and British tourists." |
| 4180 | + ] |
| 4181 | + }, |
| 4182 | + |
| 4183 | + // HUNGARY |
| 4184 | + hungary: { |
| 4185 | + generic: [ |
| 4186 | + "Hungary? Where democracy is as dead as the forint's value.", |
| 4187 | + "From Hungary? How's that Orban dictatorship treating you?", |
| 4188 | + "Hungary: Where EU funds disappear faster than press freedom.", |
| 4189 | + "Oh, Hungary? The country that's just Russia's European franchise.", |
| 4190 | + "Hungary: Where nostalgia for authoritarianism became reality.", |
| 4191 | + "From Hungary? Let me guess, you're planning to leave or already did.", |
| 4192 | + "Hungary: The only EU country speedrunning back to the Soviet era.", |
| 4193 | + "Where 'culture' means whatever Orban approves.", |
| 4194 | + "Hungary: Proof that EU membership can't prevent fascism.", |
| 4195 | + "From Hungary? Your country's biggest export is educated people fleeing Orban." |
| 4196 | + ], |
| 4197 | + budapest: [ |
| 4198 | + "Budapest? The beautiful city wasted on an ugly regime.", |
| 4199 | + "From Budapest? How's living in Europe's prettiest authoritarian capital?", |
| 4200 | + "Budapest: Where the buildings are stunning and the politics are stunted.", |
| 4201 | + "Oh, Budapest? The city that's Prague for people who like dictators.", |
| 4202 | + "Budapest: Where every ruin bar represents the country's democracy.", |
| 4203 | + "From Budapest? Let me guess, you work in tech and ignore the politics.", |
| 4204 | + "Budapest: The only capital where thermal baths can't wash away the corruption.", |
| 4205 | + "Where 'culture' thrives despite the government's best efforts.", |
| 4206 | + "Budapest: Proof that beautiful cities can have ugly governments.", |
| 4207 | + "From Budapest? Your city's biggest achievement is looking good while democracy dies." |
| 4208 | + ] |
| 4209 | + }, |
| 4210 | + |
| 4211 | + // SOUTH AFRICA |
| 4212 | + southafrica: { |
| 4213 | + generic: [ |
| 4214 | + "South Africa? Where load shedding is more reliable than the government.", |
| 4215 | + "From South Africa? How's that Stage 6 treating your will to live?", |
| 4216 | + "South Africa: Where everyone's behind electric fences pretending crime isn't real.", |
| 4217 | + "Oh, South Africa? The country that went from apartheid to apart-hide.", |
| 4218 | + "South Africa: Where the potential is endless but so is the corruption.", |
| 4219 | + "From South Africa? Let me guess, you're emigrating or thinking about it.", |
| 4220 | + "South Africa: The only country where 'just now' means never.", |
| 4221 | + "Where 'diversity' means different levels of crime experience.", |
| 4222 | + "South Africa: Proof that ending apartheid doesn't end problems.", |
| 4223 | + "From South Africa? Your country's biggest export is skilled people and crime statistics." |
| 4224 | + ], |
| 4225 | + johannesburg: [ |
| 4226 | + "Johannesburg? Where the gold ran out but the crime didn't.", |
| 4227 | + "From Joburg? How's living behind electric fences and denial?", |
| 4228 | + "Johannesburg: Where everyone's either in security or needs it.", |
| 4229 | + "Oh, Joburg? The city of gold that turned to lead.", |
| 4230 | + "Johannesburg: Where traffic lights are suggestions and crime is guaranteed.", |
| 4231 | + "From Joburg? Let me guess, you've been hijacked at least once.", |
| 4232 | + "Johannesburg: The only city where middle class means you have armed response.", |
| 4233 | + "Where 'culture' happens in malls because the streets aren't safe.", |
| 4234 | + "Johannesburg: Proof that resources don't guarantee success.", |
| 4235 | + "From Joburg? Your city's biggest achievement is making Cape Town look safe." |
| 4236 | + ], |
| 4237 | + cape_town: [ |
| 4238 | + "Cape Town? Where the mountain is beautiful and the inequality is ugly.", |
| 4239 | + "From Cape Town? How's that water crisis and racism combo?", |
| 4240 | + "Cape Town: Where everyone pretends it's Europe while Africa happens around them.", |
| 4241 | + "Oh, Cape Town? The city that's just San Francisco with worse problems.", |
| 4242 | + "Cape Town: Where the beaches are pristine and the politics are dirty.", |
| 4243 | + "From Cape Town? Let me guess, you live in a bubble and like it that way.", |
| 4244 | + "Cape Town: The only city where natural beauty can't hide social ugliness.", |
| 4245 | + "Where 'diversity' means different suburbs for different races.", |
| 4246 | + "Cape Town: Proof that scenery can't solve systemic issues.", |
| 4247 | + "From Cape Town? Your city's biggest achievement is convincing tourists it's safe." |
| 4248 | + ] |
| 4249 | + }, |
| 4250 | + |
| 4251 | + // NIGERIA |
| 4252 | + nigeria: { |
| 4253 | + generic: [ |
| 4254 | + "Nigeria? Where princes email you but the government ghosts you.", |
| 4255 | + "From Nigeria? How's that oil wealth working out for anyone not in government?", |
| 4256 | + "Nigeria: Where everyone's an entrepreneur because employment doesn't exist.", |
| 4257 | + "Oh, Nigeria? The giant of Africa that's too corrupt to stand up.", |
| 4258 | + "Nigeria: Where the talent is endless but the leadership is useless.", |
| 4259 | + "From Nigeria? Let me guess, you're in tech or trying to leave.", |
| 4260 | + "Nigeria: The only country where generators are essential appliances.", |
| 4261 | + "Where 'infrastructure' is a foreign concept and electricity is a luxury.", |
| 4262 | + "Nigeria: Proof that oil wealth can't buy development.", |
| 4263 | + "From Nigeria? Your country's biggest export is talent fleeing dysfunction." |
| 4264 | + ], |
| 4265 | + lagos: [ |
| 4266 | + "Lagos? Where traffic jams last longer than governments.", |
| 4267 | + "From Lagos? How's that hustle in the world's most chaotic city?", |
| 4268 | + "Lagos: Where everyone's a CEO of something that doesn't exist yet.", |
| 4269 | + "Oh, Lagos? The city that never sleeps because the generators are too loud.", |
| 4270 | + "Lagos: Where millionaires and slums share the same flooding.", |
| 4271 | + "From Lagos? Let me guess, your commute is longer than your sleep.", |
| 4272 | + "Lagos: The only city where 'on my way' means 'stuck in traffic for 3 hours'.", |
| 4273 | + "Where 'development' means another mall in a city without roads.", |
| 4274 | + "Lagos: Proof that energy can't overcome infrastructure.", |
| 4275 | + "From Lagos? Your city's biggest achievement is functioning despite everything." |
| 4276 | + ] |
| 4277 | + }, |
| 4278 | + |
| 4279 | + // EGYPT |
| 4280 | + egypt: { |
| 4281 | + generic: [ |
| 4282 | + "Egypt? Where the pyramids are the newest infrastructure.", |
| 4283 | + "From Egypt? How's that military dictatorship dressed as democracy?", |
| 4284 | + "Egypt: Where ancient history is the only successful period.", |
| 4285 | + "Oh, Egypt? The country coasting on achievements from 5,000 years ago.", |
| 4286 | + "Egypt: Where tourism and repression are the main industries.", |
| 4287 | + "From Egypt? Let me guess, you're whispering this criticism.", |
| 4288 | + "Egypt: The only country where mummies have more rights than journalists.", |
| 4289 | + "Where 'stability' means crushing any dissent.", |
| 4290 | + "Egypt: Proof that great history doesn't guarantee a great present.", |
| 4291 | + "From Egypt? Your country's biggest export is artifacts and oppression." |
| 4292 | + ], |
| 4293 | + cairo: [ |
| 4294 | + "Cairo? Where the traffic is ancient and the air is toxic.", |
| 4295 | + "From Cairo? How's living in a city that makes LA smog look clean?", |
| 4296 | + "Cairo: Where 20 million people pretend chaos is culture.", |
| 4297 | + "Oh, Cairo? The city that peaked when they built the pyramids nearby.", |
| 4298 | + "Cairo: Where everyone's honking but nobody's moving.", |
| 4299 | + "From Cairo? Let me guess, you've never seen a functional traffic light.", |
| 4300 | + "Cairo: The only capital where ancient and dysfunctional are synonyms.", |
| 4301 | + "Where 'city planning' is an oxymoron.", |
| 4302 | + "Cairo: Proof that population doesn't equal progress.", |
| 4303 | + "From Cairo? Your city's biggest achievement happened before Christ was born." |
| 4304 | + ] |
| 4305 | + }, |
| 4306 | + |
| 4307 | + // ISRAEL |
| 4308 | + israel: { |
| 4309 | + generic: [ |
| 4310 | + "Israel? Where every conversation is an argument and every argument is politics.", |
| 4311 | + "From Israel? How's that eternal conflict working for your mental health?", |
| 4312 | + "Israel: Where the tech is advanced but the politics are bronze age.", |
| 4313 | + "Oh, Israel? The country that can't decide if it's David or Goliath.", |
| 4314 | + "Israel: Where everyone's in the army but nobody agrees on anything.", |
| 4315 | + "From Israel? Let me guess, you have strong opinions about everything.", |
| 4316 | + "Israel: The only country where start-ups outnumber peace attempts.", |
| 4317 | + "Where 'culture' means arguing about who was here first.", |
| 4318 | + "Israel: Proof that innovation can't solve ancient hatred.", |
| 4319 | + "From Israel? Your country's biggest export is arguments and USB sticks." |
| 4320 | + ], |
| 4321 | + tel_aviv: [ |
| 4322 | + "Tel Aviv? Where the bubble is thicker than the hummus.", |
| 4323 | + "From Tel Aviv? How's pretending the conflict doesn't exist?", |
| 4324 | + "Tel Aviv: Where everyone's a vegan tech worker who parties through problems.", |
| 4325 | + "Oh, Tel Aviv? The city that thinks beaches and startups equal peace.", |
| 4326 | + "Tel Aviv: Where the cost of living is higher than the wall.", |
| 4327 | + "From Tel Aviv? Let me guess, you're in tech and avoid politics.", |
| 4328 | + "Tel Aviv: The only city where hedonism is resistance.", |
| 4329 | + "Where 'culture' means partying while the world burns.", |
| 4330 | + "Tel Aviv: Proof that you can't party away problems.", |
| 4331 | + "From Tel Aviv? Your city's biggest achievement is ignoring reality successfully." |
| 4332 | + ] |
| 4333 | + }, |
| 4334 | + |
| 4335 | + // SINGAPORE |
| 4336 | + singapore: { |
| 4337 | + generic: [ |
| 4338 | + "Singapore? Where chewing gum is illegal but money laundering is fine.", |
| 4339 | + "From Singapore? How's living in Disney World with death penalties?", |
| 4340 | + "Singapore: Where everything works perfectly except freedom.", |
| 4341 | + "Oh, Singapore? The country that's just a mall with a flag.", |
| 4342 | + "Singapore: Where the rules are stricter than the parents.", |
| 4343 | + "From Singapore? Let me guess, you're rich, bored, or both.", |
| 4344 | + "Singapore: The only country where littering gets more punishment than corruption.", |
| 4345 | + "Where 'culture' means shopping malls and food courts.", |
| 4346 | + "Singapore: Proof that authoritarianism can be efficient.", |
| 4347 | + "From Singapore? Your country's biggest achievement is making dystopia look nice." |
| 4348 | + ] |
| 4349 | + }, |
| 4350 | + |
| 4351 | + // THAILAND |
| 4352 | + thailand: { |
| 4353 | + generic: [ |
| 4354 | + "Thailand? Where sex tourism funds more than actual tourism.", |
| 4355 | + "From Thailand? How's that military coup working out this time?", |
| 4356 | + "Thailand: Where the smiles are fake but the corruption is real.", |
| 4357 | + "Oh, Thailand? The country that's just a brothel with beaches.", |
| 4358 | + "Thailand: Where expats go to be creepy legally.", |
| 4359 | + "From Thailand? Let me guess, you work in tourism or wish you didn't.", |
| 4360 | + "Thailand: The only country where coups are seasonal.", |
| 4361 | + "Where 'culture' gets sold to the lowest bidder.", |
| 4362 | + "Thailand: Proof that beautiful beaches can't hide ugly realities.", |
| 4363 | + "From Thailand? Your country's biggest export is disappointment and ladyboys." |
| 4364 | + ], |
| 4365 | + bangkok: [ |
| 4366 | + "Bangkok? Where the traffic moves slower than the government.", |
| 4367 | + "From Bangkok? How's living in Asia's sweatiest traffic jam?", |
| 4368 | + "Bangkok: Where the temples are beautiful and everything else is for sale.", |
| 4369 | + "Oh, Bangkok? The city that's one big red light district with temples.", |
| 4370 | + "Bangkok: Where everyone's selling something, especially themselves.", |
| 4371 | + "From Bangkok? Let me guess, you're stuck in traffic right now.", |
| 4372 | + "Bangkok: The only city where flooding is a season.", |
| 4373 | + "Where 'culture' means whatever tourists will pay for.", |
| 4374 | + "Bangkok: Proof that Buddhism can't prevent capitalism.", |
| 4375 | + "From Bangkok? Your city's biggest achievement is making Manila look organized." |
| 4376 | + ] |
| 4377 | + }, |
| 4378 | + |
| 4379 | + // VIETNAM |
| 4380 | + vietnam: { |
| 4381 | + generic: [ |
| 4382 | + "Vietnam? Where the war ended but the corruption never did.", |
| 4383 | + "From Vietnam? How's that communist capitalism working out?", |
| 4384 | + "Vietnam: Where everyone's on a scooter going nowhere fast.", |
| 4385 | + "Oh, Vietnam? The country that beat America but lost to traffic.", |
| 4386 | + "Vietnam: Where the pho is good but the government is rotten.", |
| 4387 | + "From Vietnam? Let me guess, you're in tech or teaching English.", |
| 4388 | + "Vietnam: The only communist country where money is the real ideology.", |
| 4389 | + "Where 'development' means more pollution.", |
| 4390 | + "Vietnam: Proof that winning wars doesn't mean winning peace.", |
| 4391 | + "From Vietnam? Your country's biggest export is motorcycles and noise pollution." |
| 4392 | + ], |
| 4393 | + ho_chi_minh_city: [ |
| 4394 | + "Saigon? Still calling it that says everything about progress here.", |
| 4395 | + "From HCMC? How's living in a city that's 90% motorcycles?", |
| 4396 | + "Ho Chi Minh City: Where crossing the street is an extreme sport.", |
| 4397 | + "Oh, Saigon? The city that's just Bangkok's less organized cousin.", |
| 4398 | + "HCMC: Where everyone's hustling but nobody's succeeding.", |
| 4399 | + "From Saigon? Let me guess, you wear a mask for pollution, not COVID.", |
| 4400 | + "Ho Chi Minh City: The only city where traffic laws are philosophical concepts.", |
| 4401 | + "Where 'development' means another mall nobody needs.", |
| 4402 | + "HCMC: Proof that economic growth doesn't mean quality of life.", |
| 4403 | + "From Saigon? Your city's biggest achievement is making Hanoi look calm." |
| 4404 | + ], |
| 4405 | + hanoi: [ |
| 4406 | + "Hanoi? Where the communists live but capitalism thrives.", |
| 4407 | + "From Hanoi? How's that political theater disguised as government?", |
| 4408 | + "Hanoi: Where the lakes are polluted and the politics are dirtier.", |
| 4409 | + "Oh, Hanoi? The capital that's just HCMC with more propaganda.", |
| 4410 | + "Hanoi: Where everyone pretends to believe in the system.", |
| 4411 | + "From Hanoi? Let me guess, you work for the government or avoid it.", |
| 4412 | + "Hanoi: The only capital where the mausoleum is the liveliest place.", |
| 4413 | + "Where 'culture' means whatever the party approves.", |
| 4414 | + "Hanoi: Proof that capitals don't need to be interesting.", |
| 4415 | + "From Hanoi? Your city's biggest achievement is being slightly less chaotic than Saigon." |
| 4416 | + ] |
| 4417 | + }, |
| 4418 | + |
| 4419 | + // PHILIPPINES |
| 4420 | + philippines: { |
| 4421 | + generic: [ |
| 4422 | + "Philippines? Where natural disasters are less dangerous than the government.", |
| 4423 | + "From the Philippines? How's that democracy working with all those dynasties?", |
| 4424 | + "Philippines: Where everyone's smiling through the poverty.", |
| 4425 | + "Oh, Philippines? The country that's just America's abandoned military base.", |
| 4426 | + "Philippines: Where typhoons are seasonal but corruption is permanent.", |
| 4427 | + "From the Philippines? Let me guess, you're a nurse or trying to leave.", |
| 4428 | + "Philippines: The only country where karaoke is more important than infrastructure.", |
| 4429 | + "Where 'resilience' means accepting dysfunction.", |
| 4430 | + "Philippines: Proof that islands can be isolated even when connected.", |
| 4431 | + "From the Philippines? Your country's biggest export is nurses and desperation." |
| 4432 | + ], |
| 4433 | + manila: [ |
| 4434 | + "Manila? Where the traffic is so bad, people live in their cars.", |
| 4435 | + "From Manila? How's living in the world's densest disappointment?", |
| 4436 | + "Manila: Where the slums have better communities than the gated ones.", |
| 4437 | + "Oh, Manila? The city that makes Bangkok traffic look smooth.", |
| 4438 | + "Manila: Where everyone's religious but nobody follows commandments.", |
| 4439 | + "From Manila? Let me guess, you're in a mall because where else would you be?", |
| 4440 | + "Manila: The only capital where floods are more predictable than government.", |
| 4441 | + "Where 'urban planning' is a foreign concept.", |
| 4442 | + "Manila: Proof that population density doesn't create efficiency.", |
| 4443 | + "From Manila? Your city's biggest achievement is functioning despite itself." |
| 4444 | + ] |
| 4445 | + }, |
| 4446 | + |
| 4447 | + // INDONESIA |
| 4448 | + indonesia: { |
| 4449 | + generic: [ |
| 4450 | + "Indonesia? Where diversity means 17,000 islands of dysfunction.", |
| 4451 | + "From Indonesia? How's that corruption index treating you?", |
| 4452 | + "Indonesia: Where the volcanoes are less explosive than the politics.", |
| 4453 | + "Oh, Indonesia? The country that's just Java and some other islands.", |
| 4454 | + "Indonesia: Where everyone's Muslim but the corruption is catholic.", |
| 4455 | + "From Indonesia? Let me guess, you're in Jakarta or wishing you weren't.", |
| 4456 | + "Indonesia: The only country where sinking is both literal and metaphorical.", |
| 4457 | + "Where 'unity in diversity' means everyone's equally screwed.", |
| 4458 | + "Indonesia: Proof that resources don't guarantee prosperity.", |
| 4459 | + "From Indonesia? Your country's biggest export is palm oil and pollution." |
| 4460 | + ], |
| 4461 | + jakarta: [ |
| 4462 | + "Jakarta? The city that's literally sinking and nobody cares.", |
| 4463 | + "From Jakarta? How's living in a flood zone with traffic?", |
| 4464 | + "Jakarta: Where the rich build higher while the poor drown.", |
| 4465 | + "Oh, Jakarta? The city that makes Manila look well-planned.", |
| 4466 | + "Jakarta: Where everyone's in traffic discussing which mall to visit.", |
| 4467 | + "From Jakarta? Let me guess, you spend 4 hours commuting 10 kilometers.", |
| 4468 | + "Jakarta: The only capital actively planning to abandon ship.", |
| 4469 | + "Where 'development' means another mall in a sinking city.", |
| 4470 | + "Jakarta: Proof that money can't buy urban planning.", |
| 4471 | + "From Jakarta? Your city's biggest achievement is making people excited about moving the capital." |
| 4472 | + ] |
| 4473 | + }, |
| 4474 | + |
| 4475 | + // MALAYSIA |
| 4476 | + malaysia: { |
| 4477 | + generic: [ |
| 4478 | + "Malaysia? Truly Asia, truly corrupt.", |
| 4479 | + "From Malaysia? How's that racial politics treating unity?", |
| 4480 | + "Malaysia: Where everyone's Malaysian second and their race first.", |
| 4481 | + "Oh, Malaysia? The country that's just Singapore's insecure big brother.", |
| 4482 | + "Malaysia: Where the food is good but the politics are rotten.", |
| 4483 | + "From Malaysia? Let me guess, you're planning to move to Singapore.", |
| 4484 | + "Malaysia: The only country where racial quotas are constitutional.", |
| 4485 | + "Where 'diversity' means separate but unequal.", |
| 4486 | + "Malaysia: Proof that multiculturalism doesn't mean harmony.", |
| 4487 | + "From Malaysia? Your country's biggest export is brain drain to Singapore." |
| 4488 | + ], |
| 4489 | + kuala_lumpur: [ |
| 4490 | + "KL? Where the towers are tall but the vision is short.", |
| 4491 | + "From KL? How's living in Singapore's wannabe little brother?", |
| 4492 | + "Kuala Lumpur: Where everyone's stuck in traffic dreaming of Singapore.", |
| 4493 | + "Oh, KL? The city that's just malls connected by traffic jams.", |
| 4494 | + "Kuala Lumpur: Where the Petronas Towers are the only things reaching high.", |
| 4495 | + "From KL? Let me guess, you're in a mall because the streets are unbearable.", |
| 4496 | + "KL: The only capital where progress means another shopping center.", |
| 4497 | + "Where 'culture' is hidden behind construction sites.", |
| 4498 | + "Kuala Lumpur: Proof that tall buildings don't make great cities.", |
| 4499 | + "From KL? Your city's biggest achievement is being featured in movies while being forgettable." |
| 4500 | + ] |
| 4501 | + }, |
| 4502 | + |
| 4503 | + // UAE |
| 4504 | + uae: { |
| 4505 | + generic: [ |
| 4506 | + "UAE? Where slavery is rebranded as 'employment sponsorship'.", |
| 4507 | + "From UAE? How's living in a shopping mall with a flag?", |
| 4508 | + "UAE: Where human rights are as rare as rain.", |
| 4509 | + "Oh, UAE? The country that's just a gas station with ambitions.", |
| 4510 | + "UAE: Where everyone's either rich or building things for the rich.", |
| 4511 | + "From UAE? Let me guess, you're an expat because locals don't work.", |
| 4512 | + "UAE: The only country where citizenship is harder to get than oil.", |
| 4513 | + "Where 'culture' is whatever money can buy.", |
| 4514 | + "UAE: Proof that oil money can't buy class.", |
| 4515 | + "From UAE? Your country's biggest achievement is convincing people desert cities make sense." |
| 4516 | + ], |
| 4517 | + dubai: [ |
| 4518 | + "Dubai? Where everything's fake including the islands.", |
| 4519 | + "From Dubai? How's living in capitalism's final form?", |
| 4520 | + "Dubai: Where the tallest building compensates for the lowest morals.", |
| 4521 | + "Oh, Dubai? The city that's Las Vegas without the honesty.", |
| 4522 | + "Dubai: Where everyone's Instagram is lying about their lifestyle.", |
| 4523 | + "From Dubai? Let me guess, you're in debt maintaining appearances.", |
| 4524 | + "Dubai: The only city where gold vending machines make sense.", |
| 4525 | + "Where 'culture' is whatever's most expensive.", |
| 4526 | + "Dubai: Proof that money can't buy taste.", |
| 4527 | + "From Dubai? Your city's biggest achievement is making Vegas look classy." |
| 4528 | + ], |
| 4529 | + abu_dhabi: [ |
| 4530 | + "Abu Dhabi? Dubai's boring rich uncle.", |
| 4531 | + "From Abu Dhabi? How's living in Dubai's less interesting shadow?", |
| 4532 | + "Abu Dhabi: Where the money is older but the personality is nil.", |
| 4533 | + "Oh, Abu Dhabi? The capital that nobody remembers is the capital.", |
| 4534 | + "Abu Dhabi: Where everyone's either government or oil, same thing.", |
| 4535 | + "From Abu Dhabi? Let me guess, you tell people you're from Dubai.", |
| 4536 | + "Abu Dhabi: The only capital that makes Dubai look cultural.", |
| 4537 | + "Where 'excitement' is a new mall opening.", |
| 4538 | + "Abu Dhabi: Proof that being the capital doesn't make you interesting.", |
| 4539 | + "From Abu Dhabi? Your city's biggest achievement is having more money than Dubai and less to show for it." |
| 4540 | + ] |
| 4541 | + }, |
| 4542 | + |
| 4543 | + // SAUDI ARABIA |
| 4544 | + saudiarabia: { |
| 4545 | + generic: [ |
| 4546 | + "Saudi Arabia? Where women just got the right to drive into oppression.", |
| 4547 | + "From Saudi? How's that modernization working with public beheadings?", |
| 4548 | + "Saudi Arabia: Where oil money can't buy human rights.", |
| 4549 | + "Oh, Saudi? The country that's ISIS with better PR.", |
| 4550 | + "Saudi Arabia: Where everyone's royal or treated like property.", |
| 4551 | + "From Saudi? Let me guess, you're counting days until you can leave.", |
| 4552 | + "Saudi Arabia: The only country where progress means women can attend football matches.", |
| 4553 | + "Where 'reform' means slightly less medieval.", |
| 4554 | + "Saudi Arabia: Proof that money can't buy modernity.", |
| 4555 | + "From Saudi? Your country's biggest export is oil and extremism." |
| 4556 | + ], |
| 4557 | + riyadh: [ |
| 4558 | + "Riyadh? Where the desert is more lively than the social scene.", |
| 4559 | + "From Riyadh? How's living in the world's most expensive prison?", |
| 4560 | + "Riyadh: Where fun goes to die in the desert heat.", |
| 4561 | + "Oh, Riyadh? The city that makes Dubai look liberal.", |
| 4562 | + "Riyadh: Where everyone's either royal or invisible.", |
| 4563 | + "From Riyadh? Let me guess, you're planning your next vacation to anywhere else.", |
| 4564 | + "Riyadh: The only capital where boredom is government policy.", |
| 4565 | + "Where 'entertainment' just became legal.", |
| 4566 | + "Riyadh: Proof that oil money can't buy culture.", |
| 4567 | + "From Riyadh? Your city's biggest achievement is making the desert look exciting by comparison." |
| 4568 | + ] |
| 4569 | + }, |
| 4570 | + |
| 4571 | + // LEBANON |
| 4572 | + lebanon: { |
| 4573 | + generic: [ |
| 4574 | + "Lebanon? Where the government is more collapsed than the economy.", |
| 4575 | + "From Lebanon? How's that failed state with good food treating you?", |
| 4576 | + "Lebanon: Where everyone has three jobs and still can't afford bread.", |
| 4577 | + "Oh, Lebanon? The country that's been 'about to recover' for 40 years.", |
| 4578 | + "Lebanon: Where the banks stole everyone's money legally.", |
| 4579 | + "From Lebanon? Let me guess, you're trying to leave or already did.", |
| 4580 | + "Lebanon: The only country where civil war is the good old days.", |
| 4581 | + "Where 'resilience' means accepting complete dysfunction.", |
| 4582 | + "Lebanon: Proof that being the Paris of the Middle East means nothing.", |
| 4583 | + "From Lebanon? Your country's biggest export is talented people fleeing chaos." |
| 4584 | + ], |
| 4585 | + beirut: [ |
| 4586 | + "Beirut? Where the nightlife is better than the electricity.", |
| 4587 | + "From Beirut? How's partying through the apocalypse?", |
| 4588 | + "Beirut: Where everyone's cultured but the government is barbaric.", |
| 4589 | + "Oh, Beirut? The city that gets destroyed and rebuilt as a hobby.", |
| 4590 | + "Beirut: Where the port explosion was just another Tuesday.", |
| 4591 | + "From Beirut? Let me guess, you party to forget the country's collapsing.", |
| 4592 | + "Beirut: The only capital where generator mafias run the power.", |
| 4593 | + "Where 'resilience' means pretending everything's fine while it burns.", |
| 4594 | + "Beirut: Proof that great nightlife can't fix a failed state.", |
| 4595 | + "From Beirut? Your city's biggest achievement is still functioning without a government." |
| 4596 | + ] |
| 4597 | + }, |
| 4598 | + |
| 4599 | + // PAKISTAN |
| 4600 | + pakistan: { |
| 4601 | + generic: [ |
| 4602 | + "Pakistan? Where the military has a country, not the other way around.", |
| 4603 | + "From Pakistan? How's that democracy cosplay working out?", |
| 4604 | + "Pakistan: Where everyone's a cricket expert but nobody can fix the economy.", |
| 4605 | + "Oh, Pakistan? The country that's just India's angry ex.", |
| 4606 | + "Pakistan: Where blasphemy laws are stronger than human rights.", |
| 4607 | + "From Pakistan? Let me guess, you're trying to get a visa to anywhere.", |
| 4608 | + "Pakistan: The only country where coups are more regular than elections.", |
| 4609 | + "Where 'development' means another military housing scheme.", |
| 4610 | + "Pakistan: Proof that nuclear weapons don't make you a superpower.", |
| 4611 | + "From Pakistan? Your country's biggest export is conspiracy theories and talent drain." |
| 4612 | + ], |
| 4613 | + karachi: [ |
| 4614 | + "Karachi? Where the mafias provide better services than the government.", |
| 4615 | + "From Karachi? How's living in Pakistan's forgotten megacity?", |
| 4616 | + "Karachi: Where 20 million people pretend it's still the capital.", |
| 4617 | + "Oh, Karachi? The city that runs on extortion and prayers.", |
| 4618 | + "Karachi: Where everyone's armed because the police aren't helpful.", |
| 4619 | + "From Karachi? Let me guess, you know which areas to avoid (most of them).", |
| 4620 | + "Karachi: The only city where load shedding is more reliable than law and order.", |
| 4621 | + "Where 'infrastructure' is a theoretical concept.", |
| 4622 | + "Karachi: Proof that being the economic hub doesn't mean having an economy.", |
| 4623 | + "From Karachi? Your city's biggest achievement is functioning without a government." |
| 4624 | + ], |
| 4625 | + lahore: [ |
| 4626 | + "Lahore? Where the smog is thicker than the culture.", |
| 4627 | + "From Lahore? How's breathing in the world's most polluted air?", |
| 4628 | + "Lahore: Where everyone's cultured but can't see through the smog.", |
| 4629 | + "Oh, Lahore? The city that's just Delhi's less successful twin.", |
| 4630 | + "Lahore: Where the food is spicy and the air is toxic.", |
| 4631 | + "From Lahore? Let me guess, you check air quality like weather.", |
| 4632 | + "Lahore: The only city where culture can't overcome pollution.", |
| 4633 | + "Where 'winter' means you can finally see buildings.", |
| 4634 | + "Lahore: Proof that history doesn't guarantee a future.", |
| 4635 | + "From Lahore? Your city's biggest achievement is making Delhi's air look clean." |
| 4636 | + ] |
| 4637 | + }, |
| 4638 | + |
| 4639 | + // BANGLADESH |
| 4640 | + bangladesh: { |
| 4641 | + generic: [ |
| 4642 | + "Bangladesh? Where the floods are annual but the development isn't.", |
| 4643 | + "From Bangladesh? How's that overpopulation treating your personal space?", |
| 4644 | + "Bangladesh: Where everyone's in textiles or trying to leave.", |
| 4645 | + "Oh, |