| 1 | package llm |
| 2 | |
| 3 | // InsultExpansionV3 - ROUND 3: Kubernetes, Terraform/Cloud, AI/ML, and HTTP/API insults |
| 4 | // Because DevOps and ML disasters deserve their own category |
| 5 | var InsultExpansionV3 = map[string][]string{ |
| 6 | |
| 7 | // ==================== KUBERNETES (45 insults) ==================== |
| 8 | "kubernetes": { |
| 9 | // Pod failures |
| 10 | "CrashLoopBackOff: when even the cluster gives up on you.", |
| 11 | "Pod evicted: your code wasn't paying rent in the cluster.", |
| 12 | "ImagePullBackOff: Docker Hub is ghosting you today.", |
| 13 | "OOMKilled: your memory management is the real disaster here.", |
| 14 | "Pod pending forever: even Kubernetes can't figure out your mess.", |
| 15 | "Container terminated: the only sensible exit strategy.", |
| 16 | "Init container failed: couldn't even start failing properly.", |
| 17 | "Liveness probe failed: your pod is dead, just like your skills.", |
| 18 | "Readiness probe failed: your app wasn't ready. Neither are you.", |
| 19 | "Your pod is restarting more than your failed relationships.", |
| 20 | |
| 21 | // Deployment disasters |
| 22 | "Deployment rollback triggered: even Kubernetes wants to undo you.", |
| 23 | "ReplicaSet can't scale: your code doesn't scale either.", |
| 24 | "Rolling update stuck: stuck like your career.", |
| 25 | "kubectl apply failed: YAML isn't that hard. For most people.", |
| 26 | "HPA gave up: your app can't handle success anyway.", |
| 27 | "PodDisruptionBudget violated: budget for disaster was exceeded.", |
| 28 | "Your deployment strategy is 'recreate everything and pray.'", |
| 29 | "Surge capacity exceeded: your mistakes surge faster than your pods.", |
| 30 | "Deployment deadline exceeded: deadline for competence also passed.", |
| 31 | "Your rollout is rolling back faster than your resume updates.", |
| 32 | |
| 33 | // Resource issues |
| 34 | "ResourceQuota exceeded: you exceeded the incompetence quota too.", |
| 35 | "CPU throttled: your code efficiency matches your brain efficiency.", |
| 36 | "Memory limit reached: should have limited your ambitions instead.", |
| 37 | "PersistentVolumeClaim pending: your claims to skill are also pending.", |
| 38 | "StorageClass not found: class 'Competent Developer' also not found.", |
| 39 | "No nodes available: nodes are hiding from your workload.", |
| 40 | "Insufficient resources: for your pods AND your excuses.", |
| 41 | "Node pressure: your code puts pressure on everything it touches.", |
| 42 | "Eviction threshold reached: you reached the threshold for employment too.", |
| 43 | "Your resource requests are fiction. So is your understanding of k8s.", |
| 44 | |
| 45 | // Configuration chaos |
| 46 | "ConfigMap missing: so is your configuration management skill.", |
| 47 | "Secret not found: your incompetence is no secret though.", |
| 48 | "RBAC denied: Role-Based Access says you can't access success.", |
| 49 | "ServiceAccount error: your account of events is also wrong.", |
| 50 | "Namespace not found: you're lost in more ways than one.", |
| 51 | "Context switching failed: between k8s clusters AND competence.", |
| 52 | "kubeconfig invalid: your config for life is also questionable.", |
| 53 | "API server unreachable: like your career goals.", |
| 54 | "etcd timeout: your learning also timed out years ago.", |
| 55 | "Admission webhook rejected: webhook has better judgment than your hiring manager.", |
| 56 | |
| 57 | // Networking nightmares |
| 58 | "Service unavailable: like your competence.", |
| 59 | "Ingress misconfigured: traffic can't find your app. Neither can users.", |
| 60 | "NetworkPolicy blocking: blocking your code is actually correct.", |
| 61 | "DNS resolution failed: your code can't even find localhost.", |
| 62 | "ClusterIP not working: nothing in your cluster works.", |
| 63 | }, |
| 64 | |
| 65 | // ==================== TERRAFORM/CLOUD (35 insults) ==================== |
| 66 | "terraform": { |
| 67 | // State disasters |
| 68 | "terraform destroy: finally doing something useful with your infra.", |
| 69 | "State file corrupted: a metaphor for your career trajectory.", |
| 70 | "State lock failed: someone else is already fixing your mistakes.", |
| 71 | "Drift detected: your code drifted from reality long ago.", |
| 72 | "Backend configuration error: your backend knowledge is also in error.", |
| 73 | "terraform import failed: can't import competence either.", |
| 74 | "State refresh error: refreshing won't fix fundamental problems.", |
| 75 | "Remote state not found: your remote chance of success also not found.", |
| 76 | "State file too large: like your ego vs your abilities.", |
| 77 | "Workspace confusion: you're confused in all workspaces.", |
| 78 | |
| 79 | // Provider problems |
| 80 | "Provider error: even AWS doesn't want to work with you.", |
| 81 | "API rate limited: your mistakes exceeded the API's patience.", |
| 82 | "Credentials expired: so did your relevance.", |
| 83 | "Region not available: neither is your future in DevOps.", |
| 84 | "Service quota exceeded: quota for bad decisions also exceeded.", |
| 85 | "Provider version mismatch: your version and 'competent' don't match.", |
| 86 | "Authentication failed: terraform can tell you're a fraud.", |
| 87 | "IAM denied: Identity and Access confirms you shouldn't access anything.", |
| 88 | "Resource not found: your resources for learning also not found.", |
| 89 | "Provider crashed: looking at your code will do that.", |
| 90 | |
| 91 | // Resource failures |
| 92 | "Resource creation failed: creation of your career also failed.", |
| 93 | "Dependency cycle detected: you depend on failure consistently.", |
| 94 | "Timeout waiting for resource: still waiting for your skill to deploy.", |
| 95 | "Validation failed: your code failed validation. So did your degree.", |
| 96 | "Variables undefined: your career path is also undefined.", |
| 97 | "Output error: the only output is embarrassment.", |
| 98 | "Module not found: 'successful_deployment' module missing.", |
| 99 | "Plan failed: your life plan also needs review.", |
| 100 | "Apply error: apply this to your resume: 'needs improvement.'", |
| 101 | "Destroy failed: can't even destroy properly. Impressive.", |
| 102 | |
| 103 | // Cloud catastrophes |
| 104 | "S3 bucket public: your mistakes are also very public.", |
| 105 | "Lambda timeout: your functions fail as slowly as possible.", |
| 106 | "EC2 terminated: instance of competence also terminated.", |
| 107 | "RDS connection refused: database refused your terrible queries.", |
| 108 | "CloudFormation drift: drifting further from employability.", |
| 109 | }, |
| 110 | |
| 111 | // ==================== AI/ML (40 insults) ==================== |
| 112 | "ai_ml": { |
| 113 | // GPU/CUDA disasters |
| 114 | "CUDA out of memory: your model is as bloated as your ego.", |
| 115 | "GPU not found: your neural network found nothing either.", |
| 116 | "CUDA version mismatch: mismatch between your skills and requirements too.", |
| 117 | "cuDNN error: your deep learning is very shallow.", |
| 118 | "NCCL error: distributed training can't distribute your incompetence.", |
| 119 | "torch.cuda.is_available() returns False, and so does your career.", |
| 120 | "GPU utilization 0%: matches your brain utilization.", |
| 121 | "OOM killer struck: should have killed your model idea first.", |
| 122 | "Driver version incompatible: you're incompatible with success.", |
| 123 | "Memory allocation failed: allocate some time for learning basics.", |
| 124 | |
| 125 | // Training failures |
| 126 | "NaN loss: your gradients vanished like your debugging skills.", |
| 127 | "Loss not decreasing: your competence isn't increasing either.", |
| 128 | "Validation loss exploding: your mistakes also explode exponentially.", |
| 129 | "Overfitting to training data: and overfitting to bad practices.", |
| 130 | "Underfitting everything: including job requirements.", |
| 131 | "Gradient explosion: the only thing exploding is your career.", |
| 132 | "Learning rate too high: ambition too high, skill too low.", |
| 133 | "Model diverged: diverged from anything resembling ML knowledge.", |
| 134 | "Early stopping triggered: should have stopped you earlier.", |
| 135 | "Accuracy stuck at 50%: your model learned to flip a coin.", |
| 136 | |
| 137 | // Model issues |
| 138 | "Model too large: compensating for something?", |
| 139 | "Model won't load: brain cells also won't load.", |
| 140 | "Checkpoint corrupted: your understanding is also corrupted.", |
| 141 | "Weights initialization failed: your project was doomed from the start.", |
| 142 | "Architecture makes no sense: designed by throwing layers at the wall.", |
| 143 | "Batch size too large: bigger isn't always better. Applies to egos too.", |
| 144 | "Embedding dimension mismatch: dimensions of your confusion also mismatch.", |
| 145 | "Tokenizer error: can't tokenize your excuses.", |
| 146 | "Inference failed: your ability to infer solutions also failed.", |
| 147 | "Model prediction: always wrong. Like your career choices.", |
| 148 | |
| 149 | // Data disasters |
| 150 | "Dataset not found: your dataset of achievements also empty.", |
| 151 | "Data loader crashed: crashed harder than your GPU.", |
| 152 | "Label mismatch: your labels and reality don't match.", |
| 153 | "Preprocessing failed: pre-thinking also failed.", |
| 154 | "Data augmentation broke: augmenting garbage gives more garbage.", |
| 155 | "Feature extraction error: can't extract features from nothing.", |
| 156 | "Normalization failed: nothing normal about your approach.", |
| 157 | "Train/test split leaked: your incompetence also leaked everywhere.", |
| 158 | "Class imbalance: your skills are imbalanced too.", |
| 159 | "Corrupted samples: sample of your work is also corrupted.", |
| 160 | }, |
| 161 | |
| 162 | // ==================== HTTP/API ERRORS (35 insults) ==================== |
| 163 | "http_errors": { |
| 164 | // Client errors (4xx) |
| 165 | "400 Bad Request: your request is as bad as your code.", |
| 166 | "401 Unauthorized: even the API knows you shouldn't be here.", |
| 167 | "403 Forbidden: the server has better judgment than your manager.", |
| 168 | "404 Not Found: your skills are also not found.", |
| 169 | "405 Method Not Allowed: your methods aren't allowed in production either.", |
| 170 | "408 Request Timeout: patience for your code also timed out.", |
| 171 | "409 Conflict: the only thing consistent about you.", |
| 172 | "410 Gone: like your chances of success.", |
| 173 | "413 Payload Too Large: your ego is also payload too large.", |
| 174 | "415 Unsupported Media Type: your code type is also unsupported.", |
| 175 | "418 I'm a Teapot: you're a disaster.", |
| 176 | "422 Unprocessable Entity: your code is unprocessable by any brain.", |
| 177 | "429 Too Many Requests: slow down, the API isn't your therapist.", |
| 178 | "451 Unavailable For Legal Reasons: your code should also be illegal.", |
| 179 | |
| 180 | // Server errors (5xx) |
| 181 | "500 Internal Server Error: you broke the server. Congratulations.", |
| 182 | "501 Not Implemented: like your understanding of REST.", |
| 183 | "502 Bad Gateway: the server between you and success has crashed.", |
| 184 | "503 Service Unavailable: like your competence.", |
| 185 | "504 Gateway Timeout: gateway gave up waiting for your code to work.", |
| 186 | "505 HTTP Version Not Supported: your version of 'working code' isn't supported.", |
| 187 | "507 Insufficient Storage: insufficient storage for all your mistakes.", |
| 188 | "508 Loop Detected: you're stuck in a loop of bad decisions.", |
| 189 | "511 Network Authentication Required: authenticate your claims to skill first.", |
| 190 | |
| 191 | // curl/wget specific |
| 192 | "curl: Connection refused: server is refusing your advances.", |
| 193 | "curl: Could not resolve host: your code can't resolve anything.", |
| 194 | "wget: Connection timed out: even wget is tired of waiting.", |
| 195 | "SSL certificate problem: your certificate of competence is also invalid.", |
| 196 | "Connection reset by peer: peer reviewed your code and reset everything.", |
| 197 | "Network unreachable: like your career aspirations.", |
| 198 | "curl: (7) Failed to connect: you fail to connect with success too.", |
| 199 | "Host not found: hosting your code should also not be found.", |
| 200 | "Certificate verification failed: your skills failed verification too.", |
| 201 | "Protocol error: you're speaking the wrong protocol. In life too.", |
| 202 | "Response too large: larger than your debugging capabilities.", |
| 203 | "Malformed response: your understanding is also malformed.", |
| 204 | }, |
| 205 | |
| 206 | // ==================== CLOUD PROVIDER SPECIFIC (25 insults) ==================== |
| 207 | "cloud": { |
| 208 | // AWS |
| 209 | "AWS bill arrived: your wallet just filed for bankruptcy.", |
| 210 | "Lambda cold start: your brain also has cold starts.", |
| 211 | "S3 access denied: denied like your promotion.", |
| 212 | "DynamoDB throttled: your throughput of good ideas is also limited.", |
| 213 | "EC2 instance terminated: unlike your employment. For now.", |
| 214 | "CloudWatch alarm: alarming how bad this is.", |
| 215 | "ECS task failed: task 'be competent' also failed.", |
| 216 | "SQS message lost: like your message to the team about testing.", |
| 217 | |
| 218 | // GCP |
| 219 | "GCP quota exceeded: quota for patience also exceeded.", |
| 220 | "BigQuery timeout: big questions about your competence too.", |
| 221 | "Cloud Functions crashed: function 'write_good_code' not defined.", |
| 222 | "GKE cluster error: cluster of mistakes growing.", |
| 223 | |
| 224 | // Azure |
| 225 | "Azure outage: your code causes outages too.", |
| 226 | "Blob storage error: blob of errors in your code.", |
| 227 | "Azure Functions timeout: functions of your brain also timeout.", |
| 228 | "App Service failed: your service to the team has also failed.", |
| 229 | |
| 230 | // General cloud |
| 231 | "Cloud costs: $10,000/month for 'Hello World.'", |
| 232 | "Auto-scaling scaled to zero: correct assessment of your value.", |
| 233 | "CDN cache miss: your code misses the point entirely.", |
| 234 | "Load balancer unhealthy: health check for your code: terminal.", |
| 235 | "Database connection pool exhausted: pool of excuses also exhausted.", |
| 236 | "Message queue backed up: backed up like your technical debt.", |
| 237 | "Container registry error: registering your failures since day one.", |
| 238 | "VPC misconfigured: Very Poorly Configured.", |
| 239 | "IAM role missing: role 'competent developer' is also missing.", |
| 240 | }, |
| 241 | } |
| 242 | |
| 243 | // init registers V3 categories into the lookup system |
| 244 | func init() { |
| 245 | // V3 categories are automatically available through GetExpandedFallback |
| 246 | // which checks InsultExpansionV3 after V2 |
| 247 | } |
| 248 |